Work Text:
When Hisame came into Kiki’s office to remind her to go to bed, she was somewhat taken aback. She couldn’t believe it was time to sleep already. She was working on revising Seiran’s drought policy in preparation for the harvest festival; the harvest had been worse than usual thanks to the sparse rainfall this year.
“Your work will be waiting for you tomorrow, you know.” Hisame said pointedly, leaning against her desk. “Apart from meal breaks, you’ve been working non-stop all day.”
“I know. I just wanted to finish this tonight. Otherwise, it might be difficult for me to go to the market with you and Misaki as planned. Also, I can’t sleep with all these thoughts in my head.”
Her husband gave her a look; it was somewhere between fondness and exasperation. “Can’t say I can relate. Is there something I can help with to make things faster for you? Anything you want to discuss?”
“Hmm, not tonight. I need to complete the draft before I’m ready to talk about it. But I could use your help tomorrow.”
“Alright. Is it okay if I head to bed first? I’m halfway through the book I was reading, but it’s clear by now that it’s not the type of book worth staying up for.”
“Of course,” Kiki stood up to give him a quick kiss, albeit a distracted one. “I’m sorry I couldn’t finish this earlier.”
Hisame raised an eyebrow. She knew what he was thinking. That it was unlikely it would be finished tomorrow, let alone tonight, so she might as well go to bed. But he held his tongue. Probably because he knew there was no reasoning with her in this state.
“Good night, darling.”
Once she finally went to bed, almost an hour later, she realized how unusual it was, Hisame going to bed before her. She was the one usually clamoring to go to bed early. Hisame loved sleep, but ironically, he enjoyed staying up just as much. In fact, she was having trouble recalling a single instance during their five years of marriage when he had slept first.
The silence felt strange as she tucked herself in; usually Hisame was very chatty when they went to bed together, talking about the events of the day. She had been careful not to make much noise, so he hadn’t stirred. As she viewed his back that was turned toward her, she couldn’t help but think-- was her husband actually mad at her? It was hard to tell with him.
But as she went to hold him, he turned in his sleep to face her and snuggle against her. So, he wasn’t mad on a subconscious level at least.
She made a note to spend time with him properly tomorrow, and also to stay in bed until he woke up. He was such a sleepyhead that she often got the day started by the time he was awake and fully functional. (It reminded her of a certain other sleepyhead she used to wake up before, a royal one.) But Hisame was always really happy when she stayed in bed with him and they got up together.
Hisame was right that finishing the drought policy was a tall order, even for the next day. It would have been fine if she actually got time to work on it, but other urgent business had plagued her all day. So, despite help from Hisame and her aides, by the time the end of her workday rolled around, she was not done. Her work had slowed down later in the day because Hisame had taken their daughter to the market to observe the preparations for the harvest festival; her aides had also left to take care of some related business.
She was just considering wrapping up her work for the day to go find Hisame and Misaki, when her husband swooped into her office, with a tearful Misaki in his arms.
“What happened?” she asked immediately, standing up to meet them. Misaki was almost four now, and it was rare for her to ask to be carried. She had her face buried in her father’s shoulder.
“She was upset you didn’t come with us to the market.” Hisame explained simply. Kiki felt a stab of guilt. She was originally supposed to go with them, wasn’t she. ”Do you want to come down and talk to your mom, sweetie?”
Misaki shook her head vehemently. “Mommy’s always working. Talk about what?” That hurt but Kiki didn’t show it on her face. The thing is… her daughter wasn’t wrong.
Hisame winced, looking at Kiki apologetically. He set Misaki down, even as she protested and hugged him by the torso, covering her face again. Crouching down to her eye level and grasping her by the shoulders, he said, “Misaki likes the rain, right? You know how it didn’t rain as much this summer? That is called a drought and it caused the farmers on our lands a lot of trouble. Your mother is figuring out how to help them out so she can tell them about it at the harvest festival tomorrow. After she’s done, she will have more time. She’s doing really important work.”
Misaki wasn’t convinced. She looked at her father with suspicion. “Why didn’t you help Mommy? If it was… if it was important.” She struggled with that last word. It was cute.
“I was helping, sweetheart. All morning while you were with Miss Hinoka, and during your nap.”
“You came to the market. Mommy didn’t.” Misaki said stubbornly, still refusing to look at Kiki. “She promised.”
“I’m sorry, Misaki.” Kiki said. “That was not a nice thing that I did. Will you forgive me?” Her hand reflexively went to pat Misaki’s head, but she stopped herself in time. Misaki would reject it right now for sure since she was mad. Still, Kiki felt she deserved it. She had been a great countess this week, but not the best mother, nor the best wife.
“Your mother has a lot more responsibilities than I do, since she is the head of our house. She works hard to make sure that the people living in our lands are happy. Will you forgive her this time?” Hisame asked gently.
“Hmph, maybe.” Misaki glanced at Kiki from the corner of her eye. “If Mommy gives sword lessons.”
Kiki had to suppress her giggle; she hid her smile with her hand. “You’re a bit too young for that, little one.”
“What about archery?”
“Also, too young for that, I’m afraid.” Hisame pitched in. He didn’t try to hide his amused smile. “You wouldn’t be able to pull the bowstring yet.”
“Then, no deal!” Misaki dug her heels, her dark pigtails swinging around her as she shook her head vehemently. But not too young for negotiation, apparently. Who did she pick that from?
“Alright, well, how about I show you some sword drills tomorrow. Just as a demo,” Kiki conceded with a smile. “And we can ask one of the craftsmen later if they can make a practice sword light enough for you to carry."
“You’re not busy tomorrow?” Misaki finally turned to her mom. The cautiously hopeful look on her face broke Kiki's heart a little.
"Not too busy for you."
Are you done? Hisame mouthed behind Misaki, nodding towards the papers on her desk. Kiki gave a subtle shake of her head. They would figure it out.
“Yayy~” Misaki jumped toward Kiki and hugged her by the waist. “I missed you, Mommy.”
Kiki bent down to hug her daughter properly. “I missed you too.”
Misaki seemed to forgive Kiki after that. She was content to spend time with both her parents, eating dinner and following their normal evening routine. She asked Hisame exclusively to read to her during bedtime though; normally she alternated between both parents. Kiki didn't mind that at all - Hisame was by far the more entertaining reader in her opinion, and he enjoyed the process more than her.
As Misaki's eyes began to blink drowsily, Hisame kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, pumpkin."
"Pumpkin?" Misaki scrunched her forehead. "That's a weird nickname."
"Do you have a better one in mind?"
"Oooh… how about butterfly?"
"Okay then, goodnight, buttercup."
"Not buttercups, Daddy." Misaki protested. "Butterfly!"
"Hmm? What was that?" Hisame cupped his ear in an exaggerated motion. "Buttered toast?"
"Noo!" Misaki burst into laughter.
"Just kidding. Goodnight, caterpillar."
Kiki watched the exchange with amusement. This was a little game they had lately. Because Hisame had an endless array of nicknames for their daughter, and these days Misaki wasn't happy with just any. Some of them she was flat out embarrassed by, and this only encouraged Hisame more.
"Mommy, make Daddy stop." Misaki entreated, between giggles.
Kiki bent down to kiss the top of her dark hair. "But you two seem to be having so much fun. Goodnight, Misaki."
"See you tomorrow, butterfly," Hisame finally conceded with a grin, blowing out the lamp by Misaki's bedside.
They softly closed the door behind them as they left the room. Hisame put an arm around her as they walked towards their own chambers. "How are you doing, love?"
"I'm alright. It's been a long day."
"I'll bet. You did two or three weeks’ worth of work in one week. That means you get to take the next two weeks off, right?" He joked.
"You have a point there. I might actually do that, after the harvest festival is over."
Hisame stopped in his tracks, then put his palm on her forehead. "Hmm, odd. Seems normal."
"What are you doing?"
"Just making sure my wife isn't delirious with fever from overwork. Never thought I'd live to see the day to see you volunteer to take time off unprompted."
"You did prompt me though," Kiki said, unimpressed.
"True, true. Jokes aside, you most definitely should. You've certainly earned it. Misaki will be thrilled."
"Won't you be too?"
"That goes without saying, darling." He said seriously. "If you actually follow through, I'll be ecstatic. You've been working too hard."
She couldn’t disagree with that.
It wasn’t until later, when they were in bed, that Kiki made a quiet admission.
“I don’t feel like a great mother lately.”
It was easier to say it in the dim light with only the lamps by their bedsides lit. Still, she found she couldn’t quite meet Hisame’s gaze.
Hisame hugged her waist, bringing her closer, but far enough that he could still see her face. “Because Misaki got mad at you earlier? It’s because she loves you so much that she wanted you to be there with her at the market, you know.”
“I know… But she has more fun with you. So, I thought, she wouldn’t care if I didn’t go. But the truth is I was using that as an excuse to finish my work. I don’t know what that says about me. That I would prioritize work over a promise with my daughter.”
“Hmm. Well, it’s because you care so much about the people you serve that you did that. I know it’s not always easy to balance between your duties and your family. You’re doing your best.”
“How do I get better at this?”
“You can’t. How can you get better at something when you’re already doing your best? If you want to spend more time with Misaki, you have to do less. You have to oversee less and delegate more. It’s that simple.”
“Is it that simple?”
“It would be, for me,” Hisame smirked. “But not for you. And that’s why you’re the head of the house, not me. I couldn’t do what you do. I wouldn’t even want to.”
“I don’t know if you’re comforting me or teasing me,” Kiki narrowed her eyes.
Hisame chuckled, “Maybe a bit of both. You know what though, darling?”
“Hmm?”
“Your earnestness and how much you care about the earldom…That’s what makes you, you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He smiled and kissed her.
He added, a little bit later, “If you ask for my opinion though, I think you’re a great mother. Many of the special things we do for Misaki, they were your ideas. Like reading to her at bedtime. It’s not something that would have occurred to me.”
“It’s something my mother did for me, so I suppose I was just emulating her.” It was one of the few memories she still had of her mother. “Father kept up the habit after she passed.”
“Calamity would strike before my parents ever did something like that. Not that I wanted them to, of course.” Kiki thought it was sad that he felt the need to add that afterthought.
“I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing his hand. Hisame didn’t often mention his childhood, but from the bits and pieces that he had, it was clear that his home life had not been a happy one.
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me,” Hisame laughed. The laugh didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s not something I dwell on. I had attendants who did everything I asked. I only brought it up because you would never think yourself as a terrible parent if you knew what most families are like.”
“What do you mean?” She wasn’t sure what her husband was getting at.
“Your parents set such a high bar, it’s a lot to live up to. Maybe that’s why you feel insecure about whether you’re doing enough for Misaki. But I’m telling you, you’re doing a wonderful job. As a countess, as a mother, and as a wife.”
Hisame’s eyes were full of sincerity, admiration, and love. Kiki’s eyes welled up with tears.
“Thank you, my love.” She rested her forehead against his. “Your family of birth may have left a lot to be desired, but I’m glad you’re part of my family.” She moved his bangs aside to kiss his forehead.
“That’s what I meant, love. My parents rarely cross my mind. Because I have you and Misaki now. And dare I say it…Daddy dearest.” He smirked. “Do you think your father would hate it terribly if I called him that?”
“I would stick to Father like you normally do. Unless you’re really itching for a duel.”
“Some friendly family duels make things far livelier, wouldn’t you agree?” he grinned.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Kiki was amused, nonetheless.
“Looking forward to spending time with you during your time off,” was the last thing Hisame said before dozing off.
“Me too,” Kiki replied, tucked comfortably in his arms.
She couldn’t fall asleep as fast as her husband. Instead, she thought about how both her family of birth and her family member of choice were amazingly supportive and loving. When she considered that, her worries from earlier simply faded away. A quiet happiness bubbled within her as she fell asleep.