Work Text:
Hamlet woke up cold and uncomfortable. He rolled over in an attempt to readjust, and found that there was no give to his mattress. He frowned and starting blinking awake, then jolted upright. He wasn't in his family's castle. He was outside, in some...cave. He didn't recognize any of his surroundings. Where could he be? What had happened while he slept? He heard a deep groan and turned over, only to see a large green monster lying behind him. And the worst part...they were snuggling.
--------------------
Shrek opened his eyes. The two made eye contact for what seemed like an eternity. "Last night was pretty good, eh Hamlet?" Shrek gave Hamlet a smug look. Hamlet jumped out of the bed and started to pick up his clothes. "Shrek, you know we can't do this anymore. I have a family now. The past is in the past." Hamlet quickly put his shoes on. "I miss you though Hamlet. Your smile. Your laugh. Everything. I can't let you go." Halfway through the door, Hamlet pauses trying to organise his thoughts. "Shrek." Hamlet looks back at the scene. At Shrek. "I'm sorry Shrek. If 'HE' ever found out I don't know what'd I do. You have a family too. Don't you love Fiona?" They both looked at each other. "Goodbye Shrek." Hamlet left.
--------------------
Hamlet only made it two steps out of the cave before he felt two large hands grabbing him from behind.
“I’ll break up with her!” cried Shrek, desperate.
“Divorce isn’t invented yet, though!”
“I’ll invent it, just for you! I want to marry you! I want to be with you forever! We can live here, in the swamp!”
Hamlet sighed. He did love the swamp, its dank smell, the mud seeming to be in his every pore. The offer was tempting, so tempting. He wanted to take Shrek’s beautiful, green face into his hands, stroke his bald head, kiss each of his green ears.
“Fine,” he said.
Hamlet went back to the palace and left a note to inform everyone of his decision to live in the swamp. The night that followed was long and passionate, splatters of mud coating thr walls