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Your hands were clammy as you rubbed them over your thighs. It's hard to remember if there was ever a time you had been this nervous.
You'd talked to Layla beforehand about your first meeting with Steven. You wanted to ask Marc first, see if he could give you tips on how to make a good first impression on Steven, how to impress his alter. When you talked to him he had made this face - a bit like he was watching the cutest cat video while simultaneously eating a whole lemon. You decided right then and there to save yourself the humiliation and talk to Layla instead.
The tips you got from Layla didn't really help much to sooth your building anxiety. Be yourself is great but you were more hoping for something like 'don't talk about penguins' or 'don't wear red' - actionable advice that doesn't throw you into an existential crisis.
You did get a good pep talk from her though. With a knowing smile Layla hyped you up, promising that Steven would absolutely like you, just like she and Marc did. She told you a bit about him, not any preferences or dislikes towards penguins or the color red but still. According to Layla Steven is a very kind and honest person, a gentle soul with quick wit. He was also a nervous wreck at times.
"He's probably having a similar conversation with Marc right now. So believe me, you'll be fine."
You didn't feel fine, as you sat at an empty table in a café in central London, waiting for your date, your friendly platonic date , to arrive. Nervously fiddling with your phone you checked the time again, anxious that you may have been too early or that maybe something happened and you missed a text or phone call.
Nothing. No missed call, no text and Steven was about 10 minutes late.
Taking deep breaths you tried to calm yourself. 10 minutes was nothing. Maybe the bus ran late or he got lost finding the place. He didn't ditch you. He wouldn't. He wasn't the type of person to do that. At least from what Layla had told you.
You're so deep in your thoughts that you didn't hear somebody enter the café, instead you were busy doom scrolling on your phone.
"Oh uh, I'm so sorry! I-I know I'm late. The bus ran late and I uh - yeah…"
You looked up from your phone, the voice familiar and yet not. The accent and the slightly higher pitch took you off guard as you saw Marc's face in front of you. No, not Marc. Steven.
If you didn't know better you would have thought them twins. Because yes it was the same face but even just looking at Steven you noticed the slight but striking differences between them.
First, Steven's choice of clothing was very different from Marc's. Steven seemed to prefer wide clothing, in a way that made him seem lost in the fabric and yet cozy at the same time. Marc prefered functional clothing, form fitting but not too tight, with more pockets than you cared to count.
Second was the way he held himself. Where Marc's back was always straight, Steven looked like he wanted to make himself as small as possible. And yet his face was so much more expressive than Marc's. His brows and jaw were relaxed and there was a nervous twinkle in his puppy dog eyes. Steven wore his emotions on his too long sleeves whereas Marc always seemed guarded, unless he was talking to Layla.
The awkward silence stretched on far too long as you assessed the situation. You knew you would be meeting Steven, you prepared for this as much as you could and yet all thought left you as you were confronted with Steven right in front of you.
Noticing your hesitance Steven rubbed his neck nervously and cleared his throat.
"I uh- oh dear I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I? I'm so sorry! I'm Steven. Steven Grant. With a V. The Steven is, I mean."
You blinked, trying to force yourself back to reality and say something, anything. Finally you pulled yourself together and introduced yourself too. With an awkward smile you asked him to sit down. Steven eagerly followed your direction, taking the seat in front of you.
"I'm so sorry if this is awkward. I am just really nervous."
You couldn't quite look him in the eyes as you admitted it. It felt right to tell him though. You didn't want him to get the wrong idea. You wanted to make a good impression, to make friends with Marc's alters too. While your first impression may have been a bit of a train wreck you were sure you could still save this date.
"Nervous? You? Really?"
Steven looked at you in disbelief. How could you be nervous? When you were with Marc and Layla you always seemed so confident and relaxed. At least from what he saw second hand.
His brow furrowed and his lips pulled into something akin to a pout. Did he do something wrong? He didn't want to make you nervous.
Before Steven could worry any more, you nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up.
"I just want to make a good impression, you know? Marc and Layla have told me so many good things about you and I would really like for us to be friends? If you want that too of course!"
Immediately Steven's face lit up and the smile he gave you almost took your breath away.
"Yes! I would love that!"
It's like a weight fell off of your chest. With just that your smile came easier to you and with a small laugh all your anxiety left your body.
After ordering drinks and some pastries the two of you started talking. Just innocent small talk at first. Favorite colors (Steven really liked the color blue), animals (Steven liked all animals but had an especially soft spot for his goldfish), foods (Steven didn't have much of a preference but did tell you he was vegan) until you came to the subject of hobbies.
"So what do you do in your free time, Steven?"
Talking to Steven felt so easy after the small hurdles at the beginning. He was open and seemed so excited to have someone to talk to. It made you feel a little sad thinking about how Steven may not have many friends. It made you all the more eager to become his. His enthusiasm was contagious.
"Oh well. I really like reading about Ancient Egypt and the Egyptian Pantheon."
He seemed almost embarrassed about it, his eyes not quite meeting yours and still he was very careful about checking your reaction.
"Really? That's so interesting! Would you mind telling me more about that? What was the last thing you read about?"
While the subject was indeed interesting you really just wanted Steven to talk more. From the way he looked at you it felt like this was a really important subject to him and you wanted to learn more about the man in front of you. So any subject he was fascinated by you wanted to know about. It also didn't hurt that Steven looked very cute when he got excited about something.
Steven on the other hand seemed again taken aback, as if that was not the reaction he was expecting. Startled he looked at his cutlery like it had screamed at him before nodding and turning back to you.
"Oh yes. Right. Uh well so."
He cleared his throat nervously, his fingers trying to comb back his unruly curls but making his hair look even wilder than it had before.
"So the last thing I read about was the creation myth of the Ancient Egyptian religion."
Tilting your head in a silent question you urged him to continue.
"Uh well, there isn't just one myth but many. Some are more similar than others."
With rapt attention you listened to Steven explain some of the different myths. He talked about the Cosmic Egg from which the gods came in one story. In another there were different gods born from a water-like, eternal, unknown thing that shaped the world.
As everything else faded into the background you sat there, eyes never leaving Steven's face as he told you small little details about the different stories, like sharing little secrets with you. He got this look in his eyes, not just happiness about being able to talk about something he was very interested in but sharing that. It made you feel trusted and special.
Whenever Steven tried to stop himself, either because he was unsure about how to continue or whether or not you want to hear more, you're quick to keep him going.
"So he spit the world into existence?"
"Yes. Well kind of. You see-"
And he kept going, with a smile on his face, reassured of your interest.
You didn't even notice the passing of time, people entering and leaving the café and the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon. Your sole focus was on the man sitting in front of you.
"There is a different version of that too but uh…"
He nervously fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt as his eyes drifted away from you again, unsure if he should continue.
"Tell me more! Please Steven! You can't just keep me hanging like this!"
You grinned at him, hoping the gentle teasing would keep him talking.
"Well, maybe. Y-You…well. It's not really appropriate I guess."
"Steven, you told me about a sun god spitting the world into existence. Nothing you could say right now can in any way count as inappropriate."
"True, I did that but! There is no spitting in this one. I still don't think-"
"Please Steven? Now you made me even more curious!"
The magic pull of secrets being kept from you had taken its hold and you were not going to give up. You wanted to talk more to Steven and this felt like the best way. He was also very cute when he explained things to you. Admittedly you were quite taken by the way his eyes lit up and he got that cheeky little smile on his face that made your heart melt. You didn't want this to end.
"Well he doesn't spit in this one."
"Oh? What then?"
"He uh-"
"Yes?"
"He uhm- I-I can't say it."
"Steven! Please!"
He answered you with a cough and a mumble.
"Could you repeat that?"
"Hemasturbated."
"He what?"
" He masturbated. ", Steven whispered with a flush on his cheeks, very clearly not looking at you.
Oh.
Well.
"Huh. I mean that makes sense. It being a creation myth and all that. Right?"
Steven froze at your nonchalant comment. A few seconds passed by before he nods and finally looks at you again.
"Yeah I mean, that's…yeah."
Sensing that the atmosphere was still a bit awkward you tried to change the subject to something you hoped was a bit safer.
"So the Ennead, right? They were the main gods?"
Taking the hint Steven nodded eagerly and switched easily into the next subject.
"They are basically this super group of gods-"
You were enjoying yourself so much that it took the waiter telling the two of you that they were closing soon to notice that it was starting to get dark outside. You both apologized to the waiter for keeping the table occupied for so long and got the check.
After paying you walked with Steven to his bus stop. You continued your conversation from inside and as you reached your destination it felt almost painful to stop.
"I had a great time today. Thank you for meeting with me, Steven."
You smiled at him, hoping it showed him how true your words were. He returned your smile immediately.
"I did too! It was bloody amazing meeting you. Alone like this I mean. Not just hearing about you from Marc and Layla. I would love to do this again. If you want that too, that is.“
The bus stopped right next to you and you knew you didn't have much time left. You nodded eagerly, your smile getting even wider.
"Absolutely! Marc has my number, so feel free to text or call me anytime."
"I will! Thank you so much. You were- you are bloody amazing and I- uh."
He stopped himself, cheeks heating up again as he switched between looking at you and his reflection in the bus window.
"I will see you then? Again. Sometime. I-I'll call you!"
He gave you an adorable wave before he entered the bus just before the door closed. You returned the wave and watched the bus drive away before you turned and made your way home.
Steven Grant was the sweetest man you had ever met and you wouldn't be able to stop smiling for quite some time.