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Lilia leans against the windowsill, his arms crossed. He looks out as far as this view the tower of the castle allows. Seeing forests and thorns and lights of near and far villages.
Still gazing outside , he asks, “Why did you decide to take care of Silver with me an y way , Malleus?”
It’s something that played on Lilia’s mind every now and then. As he looks down towards the training grounds the knights use, he can’t help but think it over once again as he sees Silver and Sebek.
It was never an adoption on Malleus’ part. The royal family of the Valley of Thorns couldn’t have a human heir. Any official adoption would automatically make that child the next in line after him. Despite that, however, he helped out whenever he could. He already visited Lilia as often as possible after he left the castle, but when Lilia gained Silver in his life it happened more often. Once Lilia started training Sebek along with Silver, even more so.
Still, Lilia sometimes wonders why he bothered back then . Malleus didn't have the same fondness for humans as Lilia did. He liked them enough, sometimes found them interesting. He did share Lilia’s hope for coexistence, but his patience ran thin when their ignorance and arrogance clashed with his pride and crossed certain line s .
When Malleus doesn’t respond right away, Lilia turns to look at him. Leaning back in his chair w ith a hand at his chin, Malleus seems to be considering his words careful ly with how thoughtful he looks. “I didn't fully understand why you took in Silver when you did. I was fond of him back then, but I won't pretend I agreed right away it was a good idea. It could have turned dangerous for you both . But I was often told it was important for human children to have more than one guardian figure in their life. T hough many seem okay with just one, so I don’t know if what I was told is correct or not .”
Lilia lets out a small laugh. He didn’t expect such a practical response.
“But that wasn’t my main reason. I still would have, had I not liked Silver in the end.” Malleus surprises Lilia once more by saying.
He tries to imagine it. A world where Malleus didn’t care for Silver. It was hard, considering how easily he was won over the second that baby grabbed onto his finger. “ Oh ? Why is that?”
Malleus gets up so he can join Lilia by the window. The moonlight makes him seem paler than usual. He looks down to where the training grounds were. “He made you smile more. So I decided that i f adding my protection guaranteed more of the child’s safety, I was going to do it no matter what.”
Lilia stared. There’s a ringing in his ears. His chest does something strange that makes his breath stutter.
“You make it sound like I never smiled before.” The words come out quieter than intended.
“You did. But not for long.” Malleus countered. When he looks at Lilia, Lilia finds he doesn’t want to look away. “You smiled when you enjoyed something. You had fun with what was around you. You did your traveling. But there was always this air to you. Like you were missing something. Or searching. I never understood how to make it go away, no matter what I tried. You would seem happy one time I'd see you, then distant the next. I always wondered if that's why you traveled so much before. Nothing truly kept you in the Valley of Thorns.”
“You kept me here.” Lilia responds a little too quickly. He then takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. When he opens them again, he steps closer to Malleus. He places his hand on the others chest, over his heart. “I was happy being around you. I was overjoyed when you were born. Your parents and grandmother were always good to me, I was happy to serve them. It was enough for me to have reason to return from battles. From traveling after wars were over and done with. I’d be gone for so long that when I returned, you always changed.”
Malleus’ hand covers his. In a quiet voice, he says, “But nothing tied you to the place enough to stay. You would spend some time here, teach me things you learned. But you never stayed.”
He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either.
Lilia was tied to the Valley of Thorns because of his loyalty. He was tied to the royal family because he vowed to serve them for as long as he could . It was never a burden for him, for Lilia loved his home deeply and the family he served. His love and loyalty kept him with them even long after he stepped down as a General .
But he also couldn’t stay long.
He needed to travel, to get away. Too many memories that he needed escape from when it got too much. He needed new sights, something to remind him there was more to the world than fighting. He needed...something.
Lilia would stay for awhile and leave for longer . When Malleus’ parents died, he restricted his travels to be less often to put the Q ueen at ease. But even that wasn’t enough to keep him from leaving.
Spending time with Malleus brought an ease to Lilia’s heart. Sometimes he wished he could take him on his travels, to get him away from the burden of being prince for a short while. But the queen would never allow it. Not after what happened.
That’s why Lilia would bring back souvenirs. He’d watch as Malleus would light up with each object, each story. Only to pout when he’d realize Lilia would leave again.
Lilia had ties and loyalty that meant everything to him. As deeply as he had started to care for Malleus later on, he never felt much need to stay longer.
Silver changed that.
For the first time in a long time, Lilia stayed. Even the odd time he still took a trip once Silver grew older, he was never gone long because it was suddenly unbearable to be away from the child he took in. Where months and years were once nothing to him, even a handful of weeks was suddenly too much.
Lilia made mistakes as a parent, and in a way as he learned, he grew along with Silver. Lilia felt a tenderness for that child he never felt before. Malleus started sneaking out of the palace more, curious about the child. Lilia would always laugh how the smallest action from the child took Malleus off guard. He watched as that simple curiousity changed into Malleus’ own fondness for Silver. He see how that fondness grew for Silver, and later on for Sebek.
Even if Malleus of fond of Silver, he was under no obligation to help out as he did. But he had anyway. Despite his occasional confusion, Lilia loved watching them together. That’s what made it so hard to think of Malleus still doing all that had he not cared. Because why else-
Lilia blinks.
oh.
Lilia thinks his hand would have fallen to his side had Malleus not been still holding it. He looks up at Malleus, almost in awe. “You wanted to protect him for my sake. You did it for me. Protecting us.”
“You changed after you took him in. You smiled more. You became gentler. The warmth grew even more when you started to watch over Sebek.” Malleus says. “I wanted to make sure no one took that away from you. Even if tensions eased up between our kind and humans, I wasn’t going to risk it. It was the only way I could help you. The first time I was able to.”
It was so obvious when Lilia allows himself to think about it. Malleus had always been clearer about his feelings than Lilia of his own. Even now, with how they’ve moved forward with their relationship, Lilia still felt as though his head were spinning just because of this.
If a world where Malleus was against it all ever existed, of course he’d still protect Silver, and later on Sebek, if it meant Lilia being happy with them. He’s always tried to do for Lilia what Lilia’s done for him. It’s why Malleus had always been watching him, learning and picking up things about him even when Lilia wasn’t aware of it.
Lilia removes his hand from Malleus’ hold. He flies up so it’s easier to look him in the eye, and places his hand on Malleus’ cheek. Malleus leans into the touch.
Quietly, he asks, “Just how long have you been in love with me, Malleus?”
Malleus smiles slightly. He leans forward, and when he speaks, their lips brush together.
“Longer than you realize.”