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It rained again in Inazuma.
The sky was covered in dark, purple-ish stormy clouds, which resembled a God’s angry eyes, stared down at mortals on their land. And the sound of raindrops falling, marching, drowning his humane senses in the color of white. White noises. White curtains of water surrounded the sceneries. Childe hated it, the realization of how small and weak he is. Compared to the Gods, compared to his colleagues. He longed for the day he could finally reach the sky and fight whoever dwells there. To be able to feel recognized, to have his name remembered.
“Tartaglia-san! Care for tea?”
Yoimiya chirped, she walked out from her kitchen, hot teas placed carefully in the tray in her hands. Childe’s expression shifted almost instantly, he beamed, ruffled his ginger hair.
“Of course, oujou-chan. Wow, that smells good.”
“Haha, I’m sure you will like it. Hope it helps you sleep well for your trip back home. The kids’ gonna be sad without you, but we’ll wait until you come back.”
Childe smiled. He told a lie.
“Promise. Comrades never forget each other.”
They had tea in silence, just lost in thoughts and stared at the rain. He enjoyed the tea and the company, nonetheless, though it was a little bit too sweet for his taste.
“Tartaglia-san, I don’t view you as comrades but you’re surely my friend. I hope you feel the same to. Oh, you must have lots of friends. You’re a sociable guy.”
Yoimiya suddenly said. Childe scratched his chin. He appeared to be an easy-going handsome young guy, he knew, but that’s just the look. Signora once said he irritates people. Childe didn’t mind. If it gets them to fight him, he considered that an advantage. However, the concept friends sounded strange. He loves his parents and siblings to death. Yet he didn’t know how to handle relationships other than family.
“I don’t have many companies.” He said, in his false cheerful tone. “Well, the Traveler counts, I guess. And someone else..”
The Harbingers thought he could see brown hair and amber eyes. The senior in Liyue who loves tea a little too much, who has such gentle voice and tender gaze that even though betrayed, Childe could not bring himself to hold resentment.
“An old man, I guess. He talked in strange, complex languages. Couldn’t guess the dude’s mind.”
Yoimiya laughed.
“Just like my pop. I think that’s an old people thing?”
The Harbinger caressed the warm, smooth ceramic surface of his teacup. Some days ago, he started to have this heavy feelings. It’s like an itch in the heart. He doesn’t like it, but didn’t know how to fix it.
“Well there’s also this lady, my colleague, she hated me with all her heart and so did I. We were assigned the same task, I thought we could cooperate at least but she bit me in the ass. Women are sure scary.”
Yoimiya was amused by his choice of words.
“Hey, you can’t say that to a girl’s face. Bite her in the ass next time then?”
“Oh, that won’t be possible. She’s no longer in this world.”
The blonde’s smile dropped into a solemn experession. Childe comforted her, saying he wasn’t saddened by The Fair Lady’s end. It’s true, though. All he felt was empathy. He would end up like her someday, somehow, and it wouldn’t be up to him. Fate is a fearful concept to mortals who are no gods. Perhaps, even to the gods. Zhongli had told him stories that proved no creature could escape the wheel of fortune.
“And there was, this…”
A lightning stroke, bright gleam tore the sky in half, followed by screaming thunders. Yoimiya whimpered, covered her ears by instinct, while Childe just stared at the clouds.
“Sorry, I don’t like thunder.” The blonde spoke when she’d regained her composure. “Tartaglia-san, why are you…?”
Before Childe realized, he’d had tears rolling down his cheeks. Slender fingers wiped away the warm liquid, he wasn’t sure how to process the sudden emotions.
“I feel like- It felt like there was someone else.”
That was all he managed to say. He knew his tears wasn’t shed from heartbreak, nor sadness nor joy. It was anger. He was angry at the heavens. They have ripped him off something he didn’t even know he once had.
The freedom to remember someone.
But soon enough, his heartbeats started to calm, and Childe’s whole body relaxed. Lightning ceased and rain silenced, leaving only fresh, cool breezes of the night.
“Haha, I don’t know what caused that. Perhaps just dusts in the eyes. Sorry oujou-chan, that must have scared you.”
He didn’t know why he was angry. In the end, Childe forgot, just like everyone else.
“I think you should rest soon.” Yoimiya looked corncerned. “I’ve also had some strange feelings these days. They say Her Excellency communicates by thunder strikes. I’m wondering… if the Gods ever knew grief. If Her Excellency was mourning with the sky.”
The Harbinger kept silence. He didn’t have an answer to that question. Instead, he chose to gaze across the vast field of green grass and glowing flowers, to the blurred shape of Tenshu-kaku. Signora ended her journey there, she was memorized. Childe didn’t know if he would have that honor, not to mention by a God. Who was he to understand their hearts? He tried once, and failed after all.
But if the day comes, he thought to himself, he would wish to be mourned, to be remembered. He pictured Zhongli’s crying face, and for some reasons it filled him with joy.
If someone would shed tears for him.
If a God ever knew grief.