Work Text:
It's not a goodbye.
Richarlison looked at the Qatar airport departures board. He sighed sadly, the defeat hurt him more than anything else. He should have had his head held high going home, but unfortunately he failed to bring Brazil his sixth title.
He knows the frustration he feels. It wasn't easy listening to all those words on the fence, before getting on the bus and looking at the FIFA World Cup one last time. A movie played in his mind of the whole damn humiliating elimination—God, how humiliating it was! The sky was shining, the crowd crying and the damn coach running alone to the changing room, leaving him and a bunch of kids crying alone on the field.
So, the mood remained low until it was time to say goodbye. No press, a silent and bitter departure. There is no longer the party that the Brazilian delegation has, only discouragement.
And it all kept going back and forth in his mind, a mix of frustration and something deep down telling him he needed to get over it. How to overcome knowing that he eliminated the one he loves before being eliminated?
Okay, it's not like he and Son aren't going to see each other anymore. Damn, they play on the same team, that will never happen! However, thinking about how much it must have hurt his friend to be eliminated in the round of 16 made him feel this bitterness in his mouth, because now he is the one suffering from an elimination. He needs to tell Son he loves him, but at a time like this?
Yes, he loves him, but he doesn't know how to say it. He needs to face the truth and tell him his feelings, but how? He has been harboring those feelings since the last season on the team they played together in Europe, now he needs to get that weight off his heart.
Sitting on the airport bench, his eyes water and blur his vision. No, he can't cry again remembering all this, no! The best thing to do is put on his headphones and move on, it's okay!
For a while.
“Hey ‘pombo’, first class boarding has begun.” One of the players from Brazil pulls Richarlison's headphones, making him wake up from his trance and look at his boarding pass instead of looking at the airport screen.
"Wait a minute." Richarlison stands, a little disoriented. These are the first days of mourning the defeat, he has faith that this will pass.
He looks once more at the first class ticket and hears a voice calling him, and this is not another player from Brazil. He is a little discouraged, afraid of being the press.
"I wish I'd seen you do the pigeon dance one more time. I'm sorry for Croatia."
He turns immediately upon recognizing the voice. Son Heung-Min! The heart that had been in mourning so far lights up again to see the friend and the South Korean delegation going home too! Heartbeats are racing, this is destiny's chance to tell each other they love him! He doesn’t want to be just a friend!
“Yeah, you told me it's good to accept defeat, I just wasn't ready yet.” Richarlison hides the tears. "I so wish I'd taken that cup home…”
Son's hands touch the back of Richarlison's head.
"Hey, not the last time to try! Be strong, come on!”
The two can't show affection in public, not when they're two men in the middle east. Richarlison's fingers silently touch Son's arm, forcing him down.
“Everything is fine.”
“I'm late, but I decided to come here to say goodbye to you.” Son smiles, his eyes shining when he sees the expressions of the Brazilian. “Know that you are amazing and did your best for the victory. I know you and I know how much I love what you do.”
Love what you do? Even praise doesn't seem to soften Richarlison.
“It's okay, I promise.” he repeats once more. “I can handle it, it's just the first few days, it's going to be okay.”
Son smiles once more. "That's what I hope to hear from you!"
“And Son…” the Brazilian clears his throat. The truth that he had so closely guarded finally emerged like a spark of courage in his chest “I love you very much. I know I can't say this here and—”
“Hey! You can tell me that whenever you want.”
“Thanks for not giving up and… See you soon, okay?”
“See you soon.” Son can't contain himself and hugs his friend. “You can be sure that my pigeon will still fly.”
My pigeon! Richarlison smiled. It wasn't the best time to smile, but still, he was willing. Son managed to make him see the best in life and at least he could leave with his head held high now as he said goodbye to his best friend in the middle of Qatar.
Before pulling back the hug, Richarlison kisses one of Son's cheeks. A warm and grateful kiss, as well as the words they exchange afterwards.
“I…. love you too.” says Son, surprising Richarlison. He couldn't even imagine that the feeling is reciprocal. He just wanted to kiss him, but it looks like he's going to have to wait a little longer for that.
And then, departure time. Tears dry up, because they know it's not goodbye. Heads high and hearts warm, waiting for the whole world cup to end so they can finally see each other on the field again and stay away from Qatar to be able to exchange the affection they always exchanged. And when that happens, they won't be rivals on the field as they were in round of 16, but the lovers they always were, this time with the love finally declared. And Richarlison was right.
It's definitely not a goodbye.