Work Text:
“Etho!” Bdubs shouted, jumping into the room.
“Hi,” Etho said, looking up from his laptop. Bdubs was bouncing up and down, arms resting on the couch arm. Etho raised an eyebrow.
“...I have Wednesday off!” Bdubs bragged. “Like, completely off! All four classes completely canceled, and I called in from work already.”
“All your classes?” Etho tilted his head. “What happened?”
“One of the classrooms got set on fire by some freshmen class, one teacher is just sick, and the other two teachers got in a fistfight with each other!” Bdubs squealed. “I think Martyn got a video of it.”
“Huh,” Etho closed his laptop. “Did you get to see it in person?”
“No,” Bdubs wilted a little. “It’s still good though, right?”
Etho smiled. “Do you know what they were fighting about?”
“Oh, something about Tolkein,” Bdubs waved his hands wildly. “I don’t know what exactly”
Etho hummed. “That sounds eventful.”
“The best thing about all this, though,” Bdubs said, leaning closer to Etho’s face. “Is that I don’t have to do anything tomorrow.”
“...what do you want?” Etho raised an eyebrow.
“You don’t have any classes until like, way late at night on Wednesdays, right?” Bdubs asked, fluttering his eyes.
“...no,” Etho said cautiously. “But that might change, you know. All sorts of surprising assignments, something could come up, you know how it is. I probably-”
“Can you come with me to the beach?” Bdubs asked, flopping dramatically onto the couch beside Etho.
“...just you and me?” Etho checked, frowning.
“Well- HEY! You don’t have to look so upset about it!” Bdubs shouted, glaring at Etho as he smirked. “I was going to invite Cleo, too, but if you’re gonna be a jerk we can have some special time together!”
“No, no, I’ll be good,” Etho snickered. “I really have to, if you think about it. There’s no way someone as short as you could get anything done if people were mean to them all the time-”
“HEY!” Bdubs shouted again, kicking Etho half-heartedly. “That didn’t even make sense!”
“Do you want me to come with you to the beach or not?” Etho asked, his eyes twinkling.
“It’s not optional,” Bdubs sniffed. “You and Cleo have to come.”
“Alright, alright,” Etho held his hands up in surrender. “Call Cleo first, though, and make sure that she’s okay with it.”
“I already texted her,” Bdubs said, sitting up to dig through his pockets. He managed to pull out his phone, and poked at it for a suspiciously long time before he got it to unlock. He waved the cracked screen in front of Etho’s face, too wobbly for him to properly read anything. “See? She works mornings, but she’s okay with skipping class, so we’ll just meet her at 10.”
“...okay, then,” Etho said, mildly surprised. “It’s a date, I guess.”
“Yeah. Now we just have to figure out how to fit an umbrella on the bus…” Bdubs flopped back down onto the couch and dropped his phone on the ground, probably adding another crack to the countless that already marred its screen.
“We? Oh no no no, Bdubs, that sounds like your problem,” Etho chuckled. “I- actually, let’s just drive. It’s easier.”
“Drive?” Bdubs looked at him in disbelief. “Etho, we don’t have a car.”
“I have a car.” Etho said.
“You do? Since when?” Bdubs wrinkled his nose.
Etho shrugged. “A while. You know how it is.”
Bdubs blinked at him. “Not really. Is it a nice car?”
“Ehh, so-so,” Etho wobbled his hand to demonstrate. “She’s okay, I guess.”
“...where do you keep it? I don’t think we have a garage.” Bdubs said.
“Yeah, I keep her in Joel’s driveway. He hasn’t noticed yet, or at least he hasn’t said anything about it,” Etho explained. “I could take us, probably.”
“Wow! You have to come, now!” Bdubs beamed. “I didn’t know you could drive! I’m going to make you drive me everywhere now.”
“...we’ll see,” Etho muttered. “I don’t really… gas is expensive, you know.”
“I’ll pay,” Bdubs said. “Well, this time. Maybe we won’t be able to do it all the time.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Etho snickered.
“Okay,” Bdubs said. “I’ll let Cleo know that we’re meeting at Joel’s. It’s a 5 minute walk, right? We should be able to carry all that stuff.”
“Yeah, probably,” Etho agreed.
Bdubs nodded, and groped for his phone. Etho slid it over to him with his foot, and smiled.
Bdubs finished pecking out the message and huffed. “I’ve got to go to work… you should wear my clothes and go take care of the plants for me.”
“No way!” Etho laughed. “You’re way shorter than me. I’d get caught in an instant!”
“Hey!” Bdubs said indignantly. “Very- very fricken funny!”
“Go to work,” Etho poked Bdubs. “I’ve got homework, anyways.”
“Alright, alright,” Bdubs grumbled. “But you are coming tomorrow, right?”
“Yep,” Etho nodded, opening his laptop again. “Scout’s honor, or whatever.”
“Good,” Bdubs sat up, satisfied. He walked off to his room, and Etho focused back on his work.
- - -
“Etho,” Cleo said, barely holding back her laughter. “What are you wearing?”
“You can’t go to the beach in that!” Bdubs accused him. “A hoodie and sweatpants, you’re gonna get heat stroke!”
“I didn’t want to get wet,” Etho shrugged. “It’s not really that hot out, anyways. I’ll sit in the shade and drink water and stuff.”
“You would say that, wouldn’t you,” Bdubs scoffed. “6’2 and terrible fashion sense. That’s what you get for being so tall.”
“I’m comfy like this,” Etho shrugged.
“Well,” Cleo said, looking up at the house. “We’re borrowing Joel’s car?”
“No, she’s just parked here,” Etho corrected.
“How does Joel own a house, anyways?” Bdubs wondered, looking up at the building. “He doesn’t rent, does he?”
“Underground fight ring,” Cleo said immediately.
“Smuggling illegal pets,” Etho corrected her.
“Nope,” Cleo popped her lips. “Sooner or later we’ll find out for sure, and I’ll be raking in the cash.”
“You guys bet on it without telling me?” Bdubs pouted. “Come on, a bet with just 2 people isn’t any fun.”
“Bdubs, do you remember that party a few months ago?” Cleo snickered. “The one you didn’t come to, ‘cuz it was past your bedtime?”
“Oh, come on,” Bdubs groaned. “You guys wish you had a sleep schedule like me.”
“Pretty much everyone there bet on it,” Etho added. “I think the pool’s a few hundred.”
“How many ways could a guy earn money to buy a house?” Bdubs squinted suspiciously.
“To be fair, most of us were either high or drunk,” Cleo said. “I stand by my reasoning, though. Joel’s ripped. He could win a cage fight.”
“No, no, if he was raking in that much cash he’d have to be the leader of the ring,” Etho argued. “He wouldn’t be personally fighting. That wouldn’t make sense. You know what’s conclusive evidence for me? The tiger skin rug in the dining room.”
“That’s obviously fake,” Cleo shot back. “If he was trafficking pets, why would he kill one?”
“...so it’s too late to join in?” Bdubs sighed. “Etho, if you win, I’m stealing some of your cash.”
“No,” Etho said smugly. “I’ll hold it over my head. You won’t be able to reach it.”
“...so if it’s not Joel’s car, whose is it?” Cleo asked, walking over to the black honda civic. It had a few dents in it, and the paint was starting to peel on the doors, but overall it still looked functional.
“Mine,” Etho said.
“Oh,” Cleo blinked. “Why is it at Joel’s house?”
“I’m not paying for student parking,” Etho scoffed.
“Let’s get going,” Bdubs shuffled from foot to foot. “I wanna have enough time to relax properly.”
“Whose driving?” Cleo asked. “I don’t have my license with me right now.”
“Etho’s driving,” Bdubs announced. “He’s wonderfully capable, you know.”
“...Etho can drive?” Cleo asked, eyeing him suspiciously. “You don’t seem like the type.”
“Well,” Etho said, avoiding eye contact. “I own a car.”
“And a license?” Cleo pressed.
“Of course he does!” Bdubs shouted. “Come on, we’ve gotta go now, or it’ll be super busy by the time we get there!”
“It’s a Wednesday, Bdubs, no one’s going to the beach at 10:30 on a Wednesday,” Cleo said.
“Still can’t hurt to get going,” Etho fidgeted with his keys. “I need to be back by 8.”
“I need to be back by 7, actually,” Bdubs said.
“What do you have to do at 7?” Cleo asks. “Sleep? You don’t go to bed that early.”
Bdubs blushes. “Look, if I want time to catch up on homework so I don’t have to stay up late, I have to get back at like, 7, okay? Jeez, you guys just can’t give a guy a break-”
“Can we get going?” Etho stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I kind of want to get this over with.”
“I call shotgun!” Bdubs sings, jumping into the honda.
“Oh, Bdubs, you nasty, nasty- actually, that’s probably for the best,” Cleo sighs. “I’m a horrible backseat driver.”
“Okay!” Bdubs shoved the umbrella into the seat behind him, and Cleo climbed in the other side. Etho got into the driver’s seat and glanced back at Cleo.
“Do you need more room?” he asked ruefully. “I can’t really pull the chair forward anymore. My legs are kind of long. You could switch seats with the umbrella…?”
“It’s fine, Etho,” Cleo said. “It’s a 20 minute drive. I’ll survive.”
“Okay,” Etho said. He adjusted the mirrors, buckled, and put the car into reverse.
“Etho! The mailbox!” Bdubs shouted, and Etho slammed the break. “You’re a terrible driver.”
Etho muttered something about nerves, inched forward, and then backed up properly. Cleo gripped the door hand.
“Etho, you do have your license, right?” Cleo asked again.
“...um,” Etho said, going 5 mph down the neighborhood road.
“Etho?” Bdubs glanced at him. “You know how to drive, right?”
“ ...um.” Etho said, speeding up slightly.
“ Etho!” Cleo said, exasperated. “Look, just pull over and I’ll drive. I know how to, I just forgot my license-”
“Just because you have your license does not mean you can drive!” Etho snapped. His knuckles were turning white on the steering wheel. “I’ve been in a car with you. You were going 90 down McMillan.”
“Details,” Cleo scoffed. “At least I know how to drive, like, at all.”
“I know how to drive,” Etho insisted. “It’s just been a while! I forgot to renew my license when I moved to the states, and I’m not fixing it now. It’ll be fine.”
“If you crash, you’re paying for my medical bills,” Cleo muttered.
“You said you could drive!” Bdubs squawked, rolling down the window. “...you’re going slow. I’m gonna jump out the window.”
“I didn’t say I had a license. You assumed. Hey, don’t-” Etho reached over to pull Bdubs back into his seat, and the car swerved. Etho slammed his hands back onto the wheel, sweating nervously, and Cleo grabbed Bdubs’ sleeve.
“Wow, you’re great at this,” Cleo drawled sarcastically.
“It’s bad to drive with just one hand,” Etho said stiffly. “I’m simply paying mind to basic traffic safety.”
“You don’t know how to drive!” Bdubs shouted again.
“I’ve got it. I’d be better if you guys would stop yelling!” Etho groaned, not taking his eyes off of the road.
“No offense Etho, but you’re the worst driver I’ve ever seen,” Cleo remarked as Etho slowly made a left turn. “I think Joe might be better than you.”
“That’s not true,” Etho said. “You know that’s not true. Joe drives on the wrong side of the road.”
“He goes the speed limit, though.” Cleo said. “You’re going 10 under. You’re not even speeding.”
“I don’t… can you please stop talking?” Etho asked. “I don’t want to crash.”
“Let me do it,” Cleo said again. “I know how to drive.”
“I can do it,” Etho repeated. “I just need to focus.”
“...you need to turn here if you want to get on the freeway,” Bdubs said, looking out the window.
“Oh- I hate merging.” Etho grumbled, quickly sliding the car over into the next lane. Bdubs screamed as they almost hit a sudan, and Etho swerved out of the way. He frowned in concentration, speeding up as he got onto the ramp, gripping the wheel tightly.
Cleo sighed, and looked out the window. “I’m driving on the way home,” she said quietly. No one said anything- Etho was trying not to kill them, and Bdubs was trying not to scream every time the car shook.
“Etho- you gotta get off at the next exit,” Bdubs pointed out. Etho nodded tightly, but didn’t move over.
“Etho,” Cleo said. “Get in the next lane over.”
“I am,” Etho said. “I just need an opening.”
“Go now!” Bdubs shouted, and Etho turned suddenly- a jeep honked at them, and Etho yelped and swerved back into place.
“Oh, for the love of-” Cleo reached forward and grabbed the wheel, jerking it to the side.
“CLEO!” Bdubs shrieked as the car swerved into the exit lane. Etho screamed and hit the brakes, and Cleo frowned as he tried to yank the wheel back.
“We were going to miss the exit,” Cleo defended herself.
“We could have turned around!” Bdubs said, and glared at Etho. “You shouldn’t be driving.”
“Hold on,” Etho hissed, tapping his fingers on the wheel. The car inched forward, and Etho pulled it into an empty Taco Bell parking lot. He parked it, and then buried his face in his hands.
“You shouldn’t be driving,” Bdubs said again.
“Yeah,” Etho agreed, his voice muffled. “Cleo, you can- you can drive now.”
“...why do you own a car if you can’t drive?” Cleo muttered, sliding out of the back seat. Etho climbed over the seat, not even bothering to get out of the car. He sighed, and buckled up again.
“It’s like a 2 minute drive from here, you don’t need to buckle,” Bdubs said.
“Cleo’s not good at driving either,” Etho muttered.
“Just because I speed doesn’t make me a bad driver,” Cleo said, adjusting the seat. “Jeez, Etho, long legs much?”
“Too long,” Bdubs huffed. “He needs to be humbled.”
“...can we just go?” Etho asked.
“Yeah,” Bdubs agreed. “I kinda wanna get out of the car.
“Alright,” Cleo said. She backed out of the taco bell parking lot and pulled into the main road.
“You know, she’s way better at driving than you ,” Bdubs remarked.
“Hey now,” Etho complained. “That’s uncalled for.”
“No, by all means, please continue praising me,” Cleo said. “I could use the ego boost.”
“You’re very pretty, and you know a lot about- THERE’S THE BEACH!” Bdubs shouted, leaning forward to smash his face against the front window.
“It looks pretty empty,” Cleo remarked, pulling into one of many available parking spaces.
“Well, don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” Bdubs scolded her. “There could be a ton of people down on the sand, and you would be so disappointed about it.”
“How would they have even gotten here?” Etho asked, amused.
“They could have walked,” Bdubs said, getting out of the car. “People will do crazy things to go to the beach.”
“Alright, I suppose,” Cleo popped open the trunk. “Etho, be a dear and grab the towels, would you?”
“Fine,” Etho grumbled. “But only because I love you guys.”
“Aww, you hear that, Cleo?” Bdubs gasped, delighted. “He loves us.”
“He is a sweetheart, isn’t he?” Cleo agreed. “I’ll help you carry this umbrella, okay, Bdubs?”
“Sounds good,” Bdubs said, picking up the top half up the giant umbrella. “I could probably pick it up all by myself, though. Just so you know.”
“I’m sure you could,” Cleo smiled fondly.
They walked towards the beach, and Etho winced as the wet grass seeped into his socks.
“Oh, gosh,” Cleo sighed. “Are you really wearing socks with sandals?
“They’re comfy!” Etho protested. “Bdubs is wearing them too.”
“ Traitor,” Cleo poked him.
Bdubs blushed. “I mean, they don’t look the greatest, but they’re comfy! I’ll take them off when we get to the sand.”
“We’re here right now,” Cleo said, looking out over the deserted beach.
“Wow!” Bdubs gasped, as they walked out onto the sand. “We’ve really got it all to ourselves!”
“It’s pretty great,” Cleo agreed. “Worth skipping out on biology. ”
“It’s nice,” Etho said, shading his eyes with his hand. “I thought it’d be louder than this.”
Bdubs took off his shirt and tossed it onto the sand. “Do either of you know how to set up a big beach umbrella?”
“Nope,” Cleo said.
“No, not at all,” Etho agreed.
“I’ll google it,” Cleo pulled out her phone.
“Where’d you get this, anyways?” Etho asked.
“Grian threw it at me like a torpedo a few weeks ago, and I just kept it,” Bdubs said, pulling the cover off. “He can’t have it back, even if he asks nicely. It’s rude to throw things at people.”
Cleo smirked, looking up from her phone. “Here, Bdubs, wikihow says that you have to stake it into the ground before you open it up.”
“Wha- come on!” Bdubs groaned, and started closing the umbrella again. “That’s stupid.”
“It’s how the internet says to do it,” Cleo shrugged.
“I’m gonna go get the snacks,” Etho said.
“Did you bring good snacks?” Bdubs asked.
“Of course! I always bring good snacks!” Etho laughed, and started walking back to the car to grab a cooler.
“That means that there’s nothing to eat but capri-suns, stale brownies, and those weird maple syrup candies,” Bdubs muttered to Cleo. “Gah! I should have stashed some good stuff in there before we left.”
“There’s an ice cream shack over there,” Cleo nodded in the direction of it. “If you’re really hungry, I’m sure they’ve got something over there.”
“But it’ll be so overpriced!” Bdubs complained. “I’m not paying 10 dollars for a hotdog!”
“I’m just saying,” Cleo said, pushing the umbrella down. “I think you should be good to open this now.”
Bdubs wrestled the umbrella open, grumbling to himself. Etho came back, carrying an old red cooler. “Do you guys need help with the umbrella?”
“I’ve got it!” Bdubs shouted.
“Don’t help him, it’s funny watching him struggle,” Cleo said, giggling. “He’s too short to do it properly.”
“I am not!” Bdubs yelled, grinning. Etho smiled fondly and set down the cooler.
“Is there anything in there that normal people eat?” Cleo asked, laying a towel on the sand to sit on.
“Normal people eat capri-suns!” Etho protested. “They’re great!”
Cleo stared at him, unimpressed.
“...I also brought sandwiches for you guys?” Etho offered, opening up the cooler.
“No, no, leave them in there for now!” Bdubs shouted. “I don’t want to eat mine yet! It’ll get sandy!”
Etho smirked, and pulled out a sandwich wrapped in tinfoil with Bdubs’ name on it. “Yeah, that sure would be a shame, wouldn’t it.”
“ Don’t get it sandy!” Bdubs yelled, finally popping open the umbrella.
“You did it!” Cleo cheered condescendingly. “Etho, look! He set up the umbrella!”
“You better not have put my sandwich in the sand!” Bdubs snatched it from Etho and inspected it closely.
“I didn’t, I didn’t,” Etho chuckled. “I would never!”
“We both know that’s a lie!” Bdubs accused him. “Lying liar. You cause problems on purpose.”
“Eat your sandwich, Bdubs,” Cleo said. “I was watching him. He didn’t have time to do anything.”
“I don’t want to eat it right now!” Bdubs huffed. “It’s not morning! Open the cooler so I can put it back.”
“Open it yourself,” Etho said back. “I believe in you.”
“Cleo! He’s being mean to me!” Bdubs whined in an exaggerated voice.
“Good. I support him,” Cleo snickered, setting her phone down on her towel.
“I’m walking into the sea and never coming back,” Bdubs declared.
“This is a lake, technically,” Etho corrected him.
“Well then, I’ll walk to the nearest ocean and then drown my sorrows there! Happy?” Bdubs shot back.
Cleo giggled and slipped off her coverup. “I’m ready to get into the water myself. You sure you don’t want to come, Etho?”
“I’ve got sudoku,” he shrugged, “And I don’t have a swimsuit, and I can’t swim.”
“You’re a grown man and you can’t swim?” Bdubs raised an eyebrow.
“Tango threw you into a pool last year and you almost drowned,” Etho retorted.
“I’ve grown since then,” Bdubs sniffed. “I’m a changed man.”
“Go have fun,” Etho waved them off. “I’m gonna eat, and then take a nap.”
Bdubs ran over to the lake, and Cleo followed him.
- - -
“Do you want to play volleyball?” Cleo asked idly, after they had been in the water for a few hours.
“...there’s no net,” Bdubs said, “And we don’t have a ball.”
“But isn’t volleyball, like, the ultimate beach sport?” Cleo argued. “It’s practically sacrilege to go the ocean and not play volleyball.”
“We’re not at the ocean,” Bdubs reminded her. “This is a lake.”
“Lake, ocean, what’s the difference?” Cleo asked lazily. “They’ve both got lots of water.”
“I think oceans have salt?” Bdubs guessed.
“Some lakes have salt, too, though,” Cleo frowned. “Utah’s got a Great Salt Lake, right? If the only difference was salt, that’d be an ocean.”
“Oceans are bigger than lakes,” Bdubs said. “Like how continents are bigger than islands.”
Cleo scoffed. “You’re telling me lakes are just water islands?”
“...yes,” Bdubs decided. “That sounds right to me.”
“I’d prove you wrong with google, but I don’t have my phone right now,” Cleo sighed. “I don’t want to get it wet.”
“We could build a sand-crastle,” Bdubs suggested. “That’s a beach activity, right?”
“Sure,” Cleo hummed. “Do we have a bucket?”
“No,” Bdubs said. “But we don’t need one. I can make a beautiful sand-crastle, no assistance needed!”
“Alright, knock yourself out,” Cleo chuckled. “I’ll just watch the master at work.”
“That’s right!” Bdubs beamed. “I’ll build you a crastle like no other!”
Bdubs waded onto the sand, and began shaping up the shell of a crastle. Once he had gotten the walls to a satisfactory height, he began dealing them.
“Ambitious, much?” Cleo observed. “Those walls are almost three feet tall.”
“Yeah, isn’t she a beauty?” Bdubs smiled proudly, and continued shaping one of the spires.
“She sort of looks like she’ll cave over at the slightest breeze,” Cleo admitted.
“No. Never,” Bdubs insisted. “She’s stable. I wouldn’t build a crastle that’d fall over.”
“If you say so,” Cleo said.
Bdubs finished the spire, and started on the main roof. He was scratching a stone pattern into all the walls- it was an awful a lot of effort for a crastle.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Cleo asked, after watching Bdubs for a while. “I feel a little silly just watching you build.”
“Uhhh…” Bdubs trailed off. “I’m working on the moat, do you think you could build a bridge for it? Like a drawbridge? The entrance is right here, by the way.” He gestured at a door, and continued scooping out the moat.
“Got it,” Cleo nodded, and started building the bridge. “Do you mind if I put seahorses on it?”
“ Mind?” Bdubs sputtered. “I think it’s fantastic! Please do!”
“Alright,” Cleo smiled, and started shaping them. “Seahorses are pretty much the only thing I know how to make out of sand.”
“Did Joe teach you?” Bdubs asked.
“Yeah. Sat me down for a powerpoint lecture and everything.” Cleo chuckled.
“I’m going to steal Etho’s water bottle and use it to fill up the moat!” Bdubs declared, standing up suddenly. “You finish the bridge, and then we’ll be done!”
“Right,” Cleo chuckled. The sand crastle really did look good. Their sand-building skills were truly unparalleled.
- - -
“It’s hot,” Bdubs groaned.
“You’ve been in the water all day,” Cleo laughed. “You can’t get much cooler than that.”
“You’re hot,” Bdubs said. “Your hair looks nice today.”
“Very smooth, Bdubs,” Cleo said, amused. “...you know what? I bet Etho’s hot, too.”
“Yeah, I wish I had the patience to bleach my hair. It looks good on him.” Bdubs agreed.
“No, his hair is all horrid and crunchy,” Cleo said. “I meant like, in the temperature way.”
“Oh,” Bdubs blushed.
“We should pick him up and dump him in the lake.” Cleo suggested.
“Yeah, sounds good to me.” Bdubs said happily.
They slopped out of the lake like creatures, leaving wet footprints behind on the sand. Etho was snoring softly, his sudoku book lying on top of his face. Bdbus took the book off, and put it on a towel.
Cleo giggled and waved her hands in a way that could feasibly be interpreted as instructions to pick up Etho. Bdubs snickered and picked up his legs, and Cleo lifted up his arms.
“He’s out,” Cleo observed when Etho didn’t wake up.
“He’s a heavy sleeper,” Bdubs agreed.
“Well, he’ll wake up when we dump him in the ocean.” Cleo snickered.
“Come on, hurry, he’s heavy,” Bdubs complained, trying to pull Cleo along faster.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. I don’t want to drop him, though,” Cleo said.
“Oh, excuses, excuses,” Bdubs chuckled.
They waded into the water until it was lapping at their knees. “This is probably good,” Cleo said.
“Yeah,” Bdubs agreed, sounding strained. “I don’t think I can carry him much further.”
“Alright. 3, 2, 1-” Cleo counted down, and they dumped Etho in the water.
“Gah!” Etho shouted and flailed as they dumped him into the water. “What- you guys!”
Cleo sank to her knees as she laughed, and Etho stood up. Bdubs cackled, and jumped out of the way when Etho splashed water at him.
“You jerks,” Etho grumbled, dripping wet. “I’m wet now.”
“Poor thing,” Cleo teased him. “We did bring towels, you know.”
“Towels don’t dry off clothes,” Etho said in despair. “I’m gonna be wet all day now.”
“Serves you right!” Bdubs said. “You didn’t even come in a swimsuit.”
“I didn’t want to get wet!” Etho raised his hands in the air, and his voice cracked.
“You’re lucky we didn’t dump your sudoku with you,” Cleo snickered.
“We could still do that,” Bdubs said thoughtfully. “It’s right over there on the towel.”
“You guys are so mean to me!” Etho whined, wading out of the lake. “I drive you to the beach, and you throw me in!”
“To be fair, you almost killed us driving here,” Cleo giggled. “You’re a really bad driver-”
“We should drive the car into the lake!” Bdubs suggested, excited. “Like in that one movie!”
“No,” Etho laughed, wringing out his shirt.
“I’ve gotta side with Etho,” Cleo said sadly. “It’s actually very dangerous to drive cars into water. Otherwise, I’d be down for it.”
“Aw, you guys are pushovers,” Bdubs scoffed.
“I don’t want to drown, Bdubs,” Cleo said. “I’m all for killing fish by plunging a car into a lake, and I think it’d be lovely to get Etho’s car all wet, but cars generally need someone in them driving in order to go anywhere.”
“Just put a brick on the gaspedal, or something,” Bdubs shrugged. “You don’t have to be in the car to make it drive.”
“And is this brick in the room with us right now?” Cleo raised an eyebrow.
“...no,” Bdubs admitted. “But we could, like… go buy one, or something.”
“Where? Lowes?” Cleo asked. “They only sell them in bulk. You’ll need to buy like, 100. Are you really willing to buy 100 bricks just to drive Etho’s car in the ocean?”
“Ohhh no,” Etho muttered, patting his pockets. “Guys… you got the key wet.”
“What?” Bdubs wrinkled his nose. “Why does that matter?”
Cleo blinked slowly. “Shoot. Shoot. Does the bus run around here? Or could we call for a tow, maybe?”
“Wait- do you have one of those fancy electric keys?” Bdubs’ eyes widened. “Shoot. We should have emptied your pockets before we threw you in the lake.”
Etho grinned smugly. “No, tricked you guys. It’s just a normal key.” He held out the key, and the light glinted off of the old, non-electric key.
“ Etho,” Cleo sighed. She snatched the key away from him and put it in her own pocket. “I don’t know how I fell for that. I was driving earlier.”
“You’re just gullible, I guess,” Etho snickered. “Have you guys eaten yet?”
“Yeah, do you know what time it is?” Bdubs asked.
Etho checked his watch. “...it’s almost 6. We should head home soon, probably.”
“Oh, wow, time flies,” Cleo said. “I didn’t think we’d been here that long.”
“Let’s start packing up,” Bdubs agreed reluctantly. “I’ll get the umbrella.”
“Can you guys put the towels down on the seats?” Etho asked. “I don’t really want my car to get all wet.”
“Sure,” Cleo winked. “For you, I’ll even shake the sand out of them.”
“Aww, you’re so nice to me,” Etho smiled and grabbed the cooler.
“Can someone help me with the umbrella?” Bdubs called, struggling to close it.
“Alright, alright,” Cleo laughed, and headed over to help him.
- - -
They had been sitting in the car in silence, sleepy and damp for about 10 minutes when the lights of a distant McDonalds became visible from the car window.
“Cleo,” Etho said slowly, weighing each word carefully. “...can we stop at McDonalds on the way home?”
“What?” Cleo wrinkled her nose. “No.”
“Please?” Bdubs chimed in. “I’m hungry. I want chicken nuggets.”
“I’ll pay for something for you, too,” Etho offered. “As long as it’s not crazy expensive.”
“...I could use some coffee,” Cleo admitted, turning onto a side road. “Alright. We can go to McDonalds.”
“Yeah!” Bdubs cheered, punching the roof of the car. “Er, my bad- you’ll still pay for my food, though, right Etho?”
“ Still?” Etho repeated. “I wasn’t ever planning on it.”
“What? You’re paying for Cleo’s!” Bdubs complained.
“She’s driving,” Etho shrugged. “I had to bribe her.”
“Yeah,” Cleo agreed. “He doesn’t owe you anything.”
“Wha- I’m the one who dragged him out of his dumb room to go to the beach in the first place!” Bdubs argued. “I totally deserve some free chicken nuggets.”
“I let you guys borrow my car,” Etho protested. “We’re even!”
“What do you guys want?” Cleo asked, pulling into the drive-through.
“Chicken nuggets,” Bdubs responded immediately.
“McDouble,” Etho said. “...and no pickles, please.”
“Aright,” Cleo smiled, and rolled down the car window. “Er… we’ll take a 5-piece chicken nuggets, 2 mcDoubles, both with no pickles, and a small black coffee.”
“Cool,” the overworked, under-paid teenager on the other end of the speaker said. “That’ll be 14.27, including tax. You can go ahead and pull forward.”
Cleo pulled the car forward, and Etho passed her a 20 dollar bill. “Bdubs, you can pay me back when we get home.”
“I’m not gonna,” Bdubs groused. “You love me. You’ll pay for my food.”
“No, I won’t.” Etho snickered. “I’d kill for you, but paying for your chicken nuggets is just too much to ask.”
“Here’s your order.” The teenager passed Cleo the bag of food and her coffee. She tossed the bag back to Etho, paid for the food, and pulled into the parking lot.
“I’m actually really hungry,” she remarked. “Can you pass me my burger? I want to eat before we drive home.”
“Yeah, here you go,” Etho handed her the food, and gave Bdubs his chicken nuggets.
“Wow! Thanks for the free chicken nuggets!” Bdubs said.
“They’re not free,” Etho slid his mask down to eat. “You’re going to pay me back when- aww. They put pickles on mine.”
“ No- mine too!” Cleo gasped. “Oh, that’s awful.” She took another bite of her hamburger sadly.
“Are you guys just gonna eat them like that?” Bdubs chuckled in disbelief.
“I mean, yeah,” Etho glanced at Cleo. “I paid for them. I don’t wanna waste it.”
“You could ask for a new one, though.” Bdubs pointed out. “Since they made your order wrong.”
“That’s horrid,” Cleo said. “No one wants to do that.”
“You’d have to talk to people,” Etho agreed. “I’d rather eat bad food than talk to people.”
“...I can go into the building and ask for new burgers for you guys,” Bdubs offered.
“Ohmygosh really?” Cleo blurted. “Thanks Bdubs, you’re a saint.”
“I’ll pay for your chicken nuggets for that,” Etho added.
“You guys are big softies,” Bdubs rolled his eyes and grabbed the receipt. “Cleo, I’m pretty sure you’ve actually killed someone before, but you can’t even talk to someone?”
“I’ve never killed someone,” Cleo said, “And if I had I think it would be easier than asking for a refund.”
“If you say so,” Bdubs shook his head fondly, and disappeared into the McDonalds.
He returned a few minutes later with 2 pickle-free burgers and a cookie. “They gave me it for free,” Bdubs said, delighted.
“Awww, you’re the greatest, Bdubs.” Cleo sang. “I’ll take you to McDonalds more often. They always forget to leave the pickles off.”
“How often do you go to McDonalds?” Etho asked, his mouth full of cheeseburger.
“At least once a week,” Cleo replied. “It’s cheap, and I’m broke.”
“Ramen’s cheaper,” Etho said.
“Well, duh, but I like to treat myself sometimes.” Cleo pointed out.
“You’re calling McDonalds a treat?” Bdubs scoffed. “What kinda life you living?”
“Bdubs, I know for a fact that you and Etho just steal all your food from Ren,” Cleo shot back. “You can’t talk.”
“That’s not true. I share my ramen with them.” Etho said.
“Ramen isn’t food, Etho.” Cleo said condescendingly. “That’s like calling dog kibble steak.”
“But dog kibble is edible,” Etho pointed out.
“Would you eat dog kibble if the only other option was starving to death?” Bdubs asked.
“Yeah,” Etho said.
“You’d eat anything, though,” Cleo frowned. “I don’t really think that’s fair. Wait- would you eat it if it was spicy dog food?”
“Well, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” Etho laughed. “I… it depends how spicy.”
“Carbonated soda spicy?” Cleo smirked.
“No no no no, they are spicy!” Etho protested. “The bubbles- it’s the same feeling as like, eating a pepper! They make you cry!”
“That’s the carbonation,” Cleo laughed, “And most people don’t cry when they drink soda.”
“They make my nose bleed, Cleo,” Etho pouted. “Isn’t that what spice does?”
“He’s right,” Bdubs interjected. “Last time I ate curry I got a nosebleed.”
“What- what is wrong with you two?” Cleo snorted. “You’re impossible.”
“You think avocados are spicy,” Etho shot back.
“ They are!” Cleo shouted, accidentally bumping the horn with her elbow. She flinched, and grinned sheepishly. “Alright, time to head home, probably.”
“Argh! It’s almost 7!” Bdubs frowned. “I’m not gonna have time to finish all my homework before bed…”
“Suffer,” Cleo remarked dryly, pulling out onto the road. “We’ll be home soon enough… am I just parking the car back in Joel’s driveway?”
“Yeah, that works.” Etho yawned.
“Sleepy? That’s my job,” Bdubs teased him.
“Not sleepy. Just tired.” Etho corrected him. “I usually take more naps during the daytime.”
“Weirdo,” Bdubs said affectionately.
- - -
“Well,” Cleo said. “This was nice. I should skip bio more often.”
“Yeah,” Bdubs agreed as he tried to wrestle the umbrella out of the trunk. “Hang out with us instead.”
“Ehh,” Cleo smiled. “We’ll see.”
“The beach is nice when it’s empty,” Etho said.
“..are you going to be okay walking home by yourself?” Bdubs asked Cleo.
Cleo scoffed. “It’s 7:30, Bdubs, it’s not even dark out. I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.”
“You’ll carry the umbrella and the towels, right Bdubs?” Etho nudged his arm. “I can get the cooler.”
“I carried all the stuff on the way here!” Bdubs complained.
“I’ll keep the umbrella,” Cleo offered. “Joe would like it, I’d bet.”
Bdubs considered it. “...better than carrying it home, I guess. Go ahead.”
“Nice,” Cleo smirked and took the umbrella from him. “See you gentlemen later!”
“Bye Cleo!” Bdubs waved at her.
“We’ll miss you!” Etho added.
Cleo blew them a kiss, and disappeared down the street. Bdubs smiled and turned to Etho. “Ready to head home?”
“I’m always ready to go home,” Etho said. “It’s my favorite place to be.”
“You just hate talking to people,” Bdubs scoffed.
Etho shrugged. “Guilty as charged, I guess. Come on. I’ve got to get to a class soon.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Bdubs grumbled, following Etho. “You walk too fast.”
“You have short legs,” Etho retorted, smirking.
“Uncalled for!” Bdubs kicked Etho’s shin.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Etho jumped and rubbed at his shin. “ That was uncalled for.”
“No, you deserved it.” Bdubs sniffed.
“You’re not even gonna apologize?” Etho whined.
“I’ll apologize if you call me tall,” Bdubs said.
“Well, hey now- I can’t tell a lie,” Etho laughed, and then shrieked when Bdubs started kicking at him again.
“TAKE IT BACK!” Bdubs shouted, chasing him down. “I am an AVERAGE HEIGHT! It is NOT MY FAULT that you are unreasonably tall-”
“Are you sure?” Etho laughed. “It looks like you’re kinda- oh, Bdubs, watch out-” Bdubs didn’t watch out, and ran into Ren.
“Hey, my dudes,” Ren said, shuffling from foot to foot. “I locked myself outside… Do you think you could, er, let me in?”
Etho and Bdubs exchanged a glance. “Did you bring your key?” Etho asked.
“No,” Bdubs frowned. “You brought the car key and didn’t bring the key to our apartment?”
“I don’t-” Etho glanced at Ren.
“Ah, shoot,” Ren muttered. “I should probably call a locksmith, then.”
“I can pick the lock,” Etho offered.
“I can pick it better than he can,” Bdubs shot Etho a dirty look.
“Can you both pick locks?” Ren raised his eyebrows.
“It’s how I get into the apartment most of the time,” Etho admitted. “I lost my key a long time ago.”
“We both learned from Joe,” Bdubs explained. “They’ll teach you if you ask them. They’ll even teach you if you vaguely hint at it, really.”
“...alright, pick the lock then?” Ren asked. “I have a class in half an hour, and I have much stuff-age I need in there.”
“You and me both,” Etho muttered, strolling up to the door. He pulled a hairpin out and fiddled with the lock for a second before they heard a pop, and the door swung open.
“After you, my liege,” Bdubs said, bowing exaggeratedly to Ren.
“Thank you, good Bdubs!” Ren said, slipping into the house. “Uh- I gotta go. I’m probably already late.” He laughed, and ran into the house to grab something.
“I’ve gotta go too,” Etho smiled. “I’ll see you later, Bdubs.”
“Yeah,” Bdubs nodded. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for dragging me out,” Etho quipped, his eyes sparkling. “...and I really should be going. I’d stop to grab some Starbucks for a bribe, but I’m broke, so I guess I’ll have to be on-time for class.”
“Have a good whatever-class-you’re-going-to!” Bdubs called after him as Etho dashed out the door.
Bdubs smiled fondly, and turned to start on his homework. “Hey, what in the…?” he muttered to himself. His laptop was missing. Ren took it. Ren definitely took it. He wasn’t sure why- Ren didn’t seem like the type, but he had grabbed a laptop earlier, and now Bdubs’ was missing. It was probably an accident, but it was still annoying. Bdubs hovered at the desk for a few more seconds before sighing and giving up. He’d just go to bed at… he checked his watch. 7:54.
It wasn’t really that bad. In a way, it was the perfect end to a lazy day. Bdubs smiled, and headed to bed.