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“Guys you’re never gonna believe this!” Dustin yells, out of breath from biking as fast as possible to Mike’s basement where he is pacing around in front of his friends. “So I ride over to Steve’s house and find Eddie’s van in the driveway which is weird because they never hang out, I don’t even think they like each other.”
“What are you talking about? Steve is over Eddie’s trailer all the time,” Max says, wearing a confused look.
“What?” Dustin stares at her.
“Yeah, it’s kind of annoying actually-”
“They never told me they hang- ugh, anyway, Steve says Ed is there to fix a pool thing which makes no sense, and then Robin walks in and starts complaining about a hickey Steve left on her neck and then they freak out because I guess they've been trying to hide their relationship even though I called it last year-”
“Move it along, Dustin!” Lucas interrupts.
“-But then the real curve ball comes in when I hear Nancy talking up the stairs!”
“My sister?” Mike questions.
“Yes! And I see her wearing Eddie’s tee shirt!”
“My Nancy? Wearing Eddie Munsons shirt?”
“Yeah!”
“You’re right, I don't believe you.” Mike says.
“I’m telling the truth! I saw your sister there, wearing Eddie Munsons shirt.”
“Nancy Wheeler?”
“Yes- shut up Mike! And then she tried to deny it and eventually huffed off like she does. And then Steve and Robin are frazzled and did I tell you that Steve had on Robin’s shirt and Robbie had on his sweater? Crazy, right?”
“Steve and Robin?” Max and El share confused looks.
“Eddie and your sister?” Lucas over to Mike.
“Eddie and my… Honestly, I can’t complain. He’s better than Steve-” Mike starts.
“How is Eddie better than Steve?” Will asks.
“Just because you’re in love with Harrington-”
“No I’m-”
“Don’t even try to deny-”
“Screw you, Wheeler!”
“Hey! Stop it, you guys!” Max yells.
“Isn’t Nancy still dating Johnathan?” El asks.
“Apparently not!” Dustin exclams.
“Johnathan said something about them going on a break before college, I don’t really know,” Will says.
“But… Steve and Robin?” El questions.
“Yeah, that doesn’t add up,” Max says. “Just because you borrow each other's clothes doesn’t mean you’re dating.”
“Doesn’t it? I mean, they are really good friends. They work together, he drives her to school every day. They hang out all the time.” Lucas reasons.
“He gave her a hickey!” Will says.
“Okay, but if he and Robin are dating, why is Steve hanging out with Eddie like every night?” Max counters.
“Maybe Robin doesn’t want her parents to know about Steve?” Lucas says.
“No, Robin’s mom loves Steve,” Dustin answers. “She wanted them to go to prom together, but they plan on blowing it off to go to the lake with the other four.”
“Wait, Dustin, did you even see Eddie at the house?” Mike asks.
“No, but Steve said he was outside fixing something-”
“That was a lie, remember? Cause Nancy was wearing Eddie’s shirt!” Will reminds him.
“Maybe it doesn’t mean anything, maybe she was just borrowing a spare shirt?” Mike poses.
“Okay, but why wouldn't she borrow one of Steve’s shirts? She was at his house.” Dustin responds.
Their conspiring continues on throughout the morning. Mike suggests they wait until Nancy comes home and they can bombard her about dating Eddie behind their backs.
“Okay it's a school night, she has to come home at some point today!” Mike exclams.
“Um, you guys, is this really any of our business?” El squeaks out.
“Friends don’t lie!” Mike argues.
“Yeah but I mean, they didn’t really lie about anything,” Lucas adds.
“Maybe they just want their privacy?” Max reasons. The group looked around at each other, questioning their actions.
“Maybe Johnathan and Argyle know something!” Will lights up. He calls around and to find out from his mom that his brother and Argyle were hanging out at the park.
The party found Johnathan and Argyle sitting on the top of a picnic table at the county park. They swarmed the table immediately.
“I don’t know, you guys,” Jonathan says, after the kids chaotically share their story with them. “I seriously doubt Nancy and Robin are with Eddie and Steve.”
“Yeah, little bros. I mean Nancy's kinda… ‘woah’ and Eddie’s kinda ‘eak’,” explains Argyle. Jonathan nods in agreement. “And Robin and Steve are both ‘yaow’s, and two ‘yaow’s can’t be together, you know what I mean?”
“No, dude, no one ever has any clue what you mean.” Mike dryly says.
“I understand.” El places her hand over Argyle’s. “But what about a ‘woah’ and a ‘yaow’?
“No way Steve and Nancy are back together!” Max says.
“Why would me and Steve be back together?” A voice questions from behind them. The kids turn to find Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Eddie carrying two pizza boxes and walking towards the group.
“What are you guys doing here?” Steve asks. “Argyle called and said it would just be the six of us.”
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be busy making out with Robin?” Dustin teases, a bit too harshly.
“Dustin, Rob and I aren’t-”
“Stop lying to me.”
“He’s not lying! Look-” Robin hits Steve on the arm with her fist. “Just a couple of pals, as platonic as ever.”
“But what about the shirt switching?” Lucas asks.
“And the hickey!” Dustin yells. “I saw it this morning.”
“We were… drunk last night and pushing each other around, just drop it man,” Eddie chimes in, handing the pizza boxes over to Argyle who gives him a confused look.
“You hit Robin?” El questions.
“I would never!”
“He didn’t hit Robin!” Nancy tries to explain. “He… well-”
“What the hell Steve?” Max pushes forward. Lucas holds her back.
“He didn’t hit me, you guys, this is ridiculous!” Exclaims Robin.
“What's ridiculous is you all keeping secrets,” Dustin states.
“Okay, enough.” Steve attempts to shut down Dustin's sass.
“No!”
“Yes! Go home and work on that science project you and Lucas have, I know it’s not done yet and it’s due Wednesday-”
“You’re not my dad Steve!”
Steve sighs and sit’s on the table next to Jonathan, giving up on the whole fight. Trying not to let Dustin's words hurt him more than they should. Eddie comes over to him and places his hand on the table behind Steve, letting his lumb caress the little bit of skin poking out from under his shirt above his jeans. Not as much contact as he would like, but it’s just enough so the kids don’t see.
“What about Eddie and Nancy?” Max ads, mostly to keep Dustin riled up and partly because she is invested in the story now.
“Yes. What about you?” Mike raises his eyebrows up at his sister, then glares at Eddie.
“What? You think I'm screwing Nancy?” Eddie laughs.
“Eddie, what the fuck?” Unplanned, Mike storms over to him and pushes on his chest.
“Mike! Knock it off!” Nancy yells.
“You better redirect that energy, buddy,” Eddie says, holding his hands up by his head, letting Mike push him around.
“Stop Mike!” Will grabs the back of his friend's shirt.
“My sister? Seriously!” Mike goes to shove Eddie again when Steve catches his hands. “Let go-
“Mike stop it, chill out,” Steve says, sternly.
“I didn’t do anything with your sister, I don’t know what the hell you're talking about!” Eddie says. Mike pauses, looking up at him.
“Stop jumping to conclusions, you always do this,” mumbles Nancy.
“And you always pick loser boyfriends!” Mike yells back, then glances over to Jonathan. “Sorry man, not you.” Jon waves him off with a smile.
“It’s none of his business, tell him!” Whispers Robin, half holding Nancy back from Mike.
“Yeah, it’s none of your business anyway, jerk!”
“Well, it becomes our business when you lie to us!”
“Woah! Hey, what's going on here?” Hopper and Joyce march over. Argyle and Jonathan stomp out their joints.
“Why is everyone and their literal mother at the park today?” Steve whines.
“It’s a public park, not a good place to have private conversations or in this case- arguments,” Hop says. “Now what the hell is up with you guys?”
“Steve said-”
“She was wearing Eddie’s shirt-”
“-and both of them lied!”
“Lucas thinks that-”
“And then Steve was wearing Robins shirt-”
“We think Eddie-”
“My sister!”
“Something about a hickey? Then-”
“Alright hold on!” Hop yells, but the kids continue to ramble on.
“- because I called it!”
“He was there to fix the pool-”
“Will said that he-”
“But if Steve is at the trailer-”
“Woah, woah, woah! Everyone, hold up!” Joyce quiets the kids as Hopper whistles really loudly to get their attention. “Okay, this seems like you guys are putting your noses where they don’t belong.”
“Friends don’t lie!” About four of the kids blurted out.
“Did you four lie about something?” Joyce asks.
“No!” Robin blurts out.
“Yes they did!” Dustin points at Steve and Eddie. “They lied about being friends!”
“What?” Eddie asks, confused.
“Didn’t think I’d know about that, did ya? Max told me you guys hang out like every night!”
“Wait, why are you stalking Steve?” Lucas asks Max.
“I’m not stalking him! Steve’s car just makes a- a really distinct sound,” Max stammers, her cheeks flush.
“This is ridiculous. Honestly, Joyce,” Steve sighs, “Dustin just walked in on us… at a bad time.”
“We were a little hungover- sorry Hop- and the kids just started making up stuff-” Eddie starts
“Um, nuh uh! I delivered the facts!” Dustin exclaims.
“What facts, Dustin?” Nancy asks, using the last of her strength to stay relatively calm. “You rang the doorbell this morning, woke us all up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday, sorry if we were a little out of sorts.”
“No way you were sleeping in on the weekends, Nance,” Mike rolls his eyes. “You get up at 7AM like every day.”
“See, that’s what he means about the lying!” Will flails his arms.
“And where the hell were you guys sleeping?” Dustin asks. Steve groans. “Cause I know for a fact that there are only three bedrooms up stairs, one of which is his parents room which I know for a fact they keep locked when they go away-
“Steve and I were spooning in his bed, that's how good of friends we are-” Eddie nods to Dustin.
“Ew,” Mike says.
“Actually, we had a whole drawer of cutlery going on with the four of us-”
“Jesus Christ,” Hop rolls his eyes.
“Ha, were you forking?” Argyle chimes in.
“Alright, enough everyone,” Joyce says.
“See, this is the kind of stuff we can’t talk about with you guys-” Nancy starts.
“We aren’t children.” Dustin sighs.
“But you are! You are kids!” Steve explains. “And there’s just some stuff about us that you don’t need to know.”
“You’re like our adopted little goblin children,” Robin smiles and pats Max and Lucas on the head.
“We love you guys and we are all friends but you have to understand that we are like five years older than you,” Eddie says.
“We just need you to respect our boundaries,” explains Nancy. “Do you guys want Erica, and eventually Holly in your business when you are 18 and 19?”
“Erica is already in our business,” mumbles Lucas.
“Well said, it’s very rude of you all to be poking at their… personal lives. I mean, you guys wouldn’t want to know what Hop and I-”
“MOM!”
“Joyce…”
“Oh my god-”
“Ms. Byers!”
“But they are our friends! Not our parents,” Will says.
“That’s true. When you’re all grown up and they are 29 and you are 25 it won’t seem like a big deal, but this age gap is pretty big right now.”
“What’s it to you lot anyway?” Hop asks.
“The dynamics change-“
“- So awkward.”
“They break up-“
“-we’ll have to choose who to hang out with-“
“Woah woah woah!” Steve waves his arms. “Regardless of what anyone here goes through, we will all stick together. No matter what.”
“Aw Stevie,” Max jokes.
“That was very nice,” El nods.
“Do you promise?” Dustin asks, with a stern face.
“We promise!” Eddie says.
“Okay, good.” Mike sighs.
“So, are we all cool now?” Eddie asks.
“Yeah, I guess.” Dustin says.
“How about you guys come over for s’mores tonight after dinner?” Steve suggests. The party gets excited, and they all run off to finish their weekend homework so they could hang out at Steve’s that night.
“Maybe you guys should lay off the drinking with the kids around,” Hopper says.
“Honestly, sir, we don’t do anything like that in front of them,” Nancy replies.
“They are just at an awkward age, you remember what that's like,” Joyce says. The six of them nod.
“Thanks for your help, Joyce,” Steve says. She smiles and her and Hopper continue with their walk. Once they are a safe distance away, four collapse down onto the table with Jonathan and Argyle.
“Dudes, what the hell was that all about?” Asks Argyle.
“Yeah what did Dustin walk in on?” Jonathan adds. The four look at eachother.
“It’s kind of a long story,” Eddie adds.
“Time is our friend, man,” Argyle says.
Nancy whisper’s to Argyle what happened.
“Aw dude, nice!” He holds up his hand for a high-five and Nancy just stares at him. Then his face falls. “Wait, without us?”