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Walking off the dance floor, Lucifer feels so damn good…light, euphoric…bubbly even…, a feeling he only gets when he’s with the detective, and he can’t help the grin on his face.
Accepting his offer of a night dancing at Lux and having just finished dancing to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shiver’, Chloe’s headed to the powder room, and he’s gone back to the lounge.
Seeing Nix offer up a glass to him, his grin widens.
Sitting down, he adjusts his slacks, takes the glass, and with a contented chuff, takes a sip.
Having just seen Lucifer and Chloe dance to ‘Shivers” …. Damn guys….. Get a room already, Nix watches him walk across the dance floor towards her.
His oldest friend in the universe, Nix has seen every part of his existence, and now for the first time ever, she’s getting to see him in love.
The spring in his step, high flush to his cheeks, the glint in his eyes shows her just how much fun he’s had dancing with Chloe, but the real kicker….the one that’s showing her just how far down the rabbit hole he’s fallen, is….well…it’s because he’s wearing the biggest, most joyful shit eating grin of happiness that she’s EVER seen on his face…(not even creating the stars made him look like this) and seeing that, Nix knows he’s completely, utterly and absolutely gone for Chloe.
Holding his glass out, she sees his grin widen.
Taking the seat beside her, he twitches his trousers, accepting it from her hand. Settling back, he takes his first sip, closing his eyes in appreciation of outstanding Whiskey.
Opening them, he’s greeted with Nix’s quizzical gaze, and the way she says “SO???” has him puzzled.
Looking at her, he sounds mystified “What?” as he takes another drink….mmmmm, this is good.
Eyebrows raised…. Holy Hellfire …Do I have to drag this out of you…Nix needs to know. “So, you and Chloe…. When did that happen?
Draping one arm over the back of the lounge, he holds his drink on his knee.
The curious look he gives her, brows drawn together, as he takes another drink “I’m sorry Nix…I have no idea what you’re talking about”.
Now she feels incredulous…oh, are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re not that clueless, and she presses more.
“You know…. when did you start having feelings for Chloe?"
Looking at Nix, he’s unsure exactly what she means.
Chloe and he are friend, granted, really good friends…. but any more than that, no matter how much he wishes otherwise…...no, that’s just not possible.
His reply sounds guarded, “My feelings for the Detective…. I’m not sure what you mean”
Looking intently at him Nix realises he’s either truly clueless…...well you can be a self-obsessed son of a bitch at times… or because of the way his family, and particularly his father, have treated him over the untold eons, he’s become trapped in his own emotional hell loop.
That he’s become a victim of his father’s twisted ‘grand plan’. Unable to escape from it, he now truly believes he’s unworthy of love, incapable of being able to love or be loved, and is more than likely in denial.
The realisation that he’s become trapped in those thoughts and can’t see it…. won’t see, he’s absolutely in love with Chloe already…. makes her see red.
Glancing up at the roof, Nix tries hard to hide just how pissed off at God she is…. Oh, you sadistic bastard…
With that realisation, Nix tries a different tact. “Ok…so tell me about Chloe…What’s she like to work with…. How did you guys first meet?”
Frowning, Lucifer looks at her, knowing he’s already told her the story ages ago.
Seeing his look, Nix holds up her hand, trying to keep her expression as bland as she can.
“Look, I know you’ve told me before”, (and now she pulls a fast one), “but sue me, I’m OLD…. (Well, seeing I was there at the beginning of the universe, technically THAT’S true) …so my memory isn’t what it used to be. Now, tell me again…How did you and she meet?
Tell me about HER”
Sitting up straighter, knowing Nix has Omni’s and has NEVER forgotten anything in her celestial life, Lucifer’s eyes narrow at her comment …. what’s she up to? but after a moment he gives in, and his face softens.
After all its Chloe she wants to know about, and he’ll talk about her until he’s blue in the face.
Hearing the first bars of Avici’s ’Wake me up’, Nix grabs his hand. “C’mon, we can dance while you tell me all about her” and taking his hand, leads him onto the dance floor.
They both have exceptional hearing and Nix has no problem listening to him over the thumping beats. Starting to grove together Nix prompts “So your first case together was…?”
With a soft, faraway look in his eyes Lucifer tells her about their first case together.
How she’s immune to his charms, not drawn to him by his god given carnal attraction, and how she refuses to believe him when he tells her he’s the devil.
Several songs go by, and Lucifer continues to extol The Detective’s virtues.
To the pumping beat of the Black-Eyed Peas ‘I got a feeling’, he tells her “She’s nauseatingly selfless, always putting others needs before her own…. especially the Urchin’s…. ungrateful child she is, not contributing anything towards the rent, but the Urchin has one redeeming feature”.
Eyebrow raised; Nix is impressed.
For someone who ‘despises children’ Lucifer seems to really have taken a real shine to this one, and the warmth of his smile as he continues” She gives good hugs…. almost as good as Miss Lopez.”, tell her how attached to Trixie he’s become.
That she’s seen Mazes true face and isn’t bugged out that she’s a demon or that Lucifer’s the Devil...Damn, this kid is really something special.
Looking into his beaming face…. oh, why can’t he see it???....... Lucifer can hear the sincerity in her voice… “I can’t wait to meet her”, and he absolutely agrees. “Oh, she’ll love you. When she finds out who you are, I can guarantee you’ll be bombarded with questions.”
Remembering one particular incident that had to do with Halloween and an astronaut’s costume makes his eyes light up “especially about Mars.”
While it’s been nice hearing about Trixie, Nix needs to get him back on track.
With DJ Sammy’s ‘Heaven’ playing in the background, Nix again prompts…” Ok, so tell me more about Chloe”
Lucifer continues to tell her about the various cases they’ve worked on, and when he mentions getting hurt…again…she’s just as surprised as she was the first time, he told her he was vulnerable around Chloe.
Then she remembers her shock from when he told her he’d died for her, and that his father had both sent him back, and granted his wish that Chloe does not die.
Glancing skyward, it’s a wonder Lucifer can’t hear her thoughts…. Ok G… you’re still a sadistic bastard, maybe just not as much of one as I thought.
The way Lucifer softens as he speaks makes Nix smile in both wonderment and sadness…. Oh, why won’t he believe he’s able to love….
Haddaway’s ‘What in love’ playing in the background, her next question “Ok…How does she make you feel?”, makes him tremble inside, and almost stop dancing.
Looking intently at Nix, what she’s asking forces him to look at the feelings he’s been trying to hide from…feelings that he thought he could never have.\
Swallowing hard, he looks down at himself…. No; I can’t feel like this…. I’m really not worthy, echoing in his mind.
When he looks up at her, Nix sees the agony in his eyes…. Oh Luci
Having to put these feeling into words, there’s a vulnerability to him and she sees he’s struggling to speak. “She makes me feel…” and he stops, as tears gently fill his eyes.
Stepping in close Nix puts her hand on his face, gently cupping his jaw.
Looking into his glistening eyes, her voice is soft “It’s ok Luci…you don’t need to tell me. I...”
The vehemence in his voice takes her aback. Wiping his eyes with his hands, he’s determined to get how he feels out…. there's no going back now “But I do…. I DO need to tell you…. I’ve been denying them for so long, I have to tell someone about them."
“She makes me feel” …and he looks up into the air, trying to find the right words. When he looks back at her, oh, the intensity in his eyes….” She makes me feel happy and sad."
"The way she smiles at me, the way she says my name, makes my stomach drop, like I’m on the most amazing rollercoaster ride ever, and when she’s sad, all I want to do is take her in my arms, and make everything right again.”
Then he chuffs softly, a gentle smile on his face as he remembers something
“When she’s sad, I’ll even deliberately annoy her, just to get an eye roll out of her…. make her pull one of her faces at me. Then I know things are ok, and when she laughs…. Oh, something inside of me grabs it and won't let go."
“She makes me feel vulnerable, but that’s good, I like the way that feels." Rubbing his leg, where his Detective shot him, he smiles “She makes me feel pain….and that’s ok too…it lets me know I’m alive.”
Now, Lucifer frowns, these feelings…these emotions are so much harder to put into words, and his voice goes quiet
“She makes me feel good about myself …the way I did before” and he just can’t put that time into words “…. you know…. before the fall…. when I was still Samael”
Hearing him use his old name blows Nix away, remembering when he chose to forgo that name, that side of himself forever…. now, it seems forever isn’t forever after all… “She makes me need to forgive myself."
Now Nix is staring at him. Being able to finally say how he feels, what he’s finally come to realise, Lucifer’s almost glowing. …. oh, please Luci…you’re so close…you’re almost there, and she lets him keep going.
He’s determined to finish what he started….” I know it’s not my fault…. the whole humans blaming me for their wrong doings…that’s all Dads doing. It’s easier to get them to blame me for their mistakes, than for them to realise every bad thing that happens to them is a part of Gods Grand Plan and it’s not my fault Dad turned his back on us…I tried…I really tried to get him to change, but it was his choice…his wrong choice”
Now he stops, eyes closed, swallowing hard.
Fists clenched, these feelings are the hardest, because in spite of everything he’s just said, a voice in his head continues to whisper that he’s not worthy.
Breathing hard, tears trace down his face. “She makes me feel wanted and cared for…. she makes me feel needed…. She makes me feel worthy......that I’m capable of being a better man. Most of all she makes me feel loved”
Taking a shuddering breath in (while internally punching the sky) …YESSS…... YOU DID IT LUCI…. YOU FINALLY GOT THERE, Nix looks at her friend….and at the person who is now standing, wide eyed, hands over her mouth, behind them.
Eyes locked on Lucifer…...time to bring it all home, Nix gently smiles and softly asks…” So, Lucifer…what does all that mean?”
His own breath shuddering out, Lucifer finally puts those feeling into words.
He looks almost beatific “It means Nix that I would do anything for her, because I’m utterly, totally, irrevocably in love with her…...That I love and am in love with Chloe” …and now, with a little shrug of his shoulders, he releases a soft, sad little chuff, “I just wish I knew how to tell her”
Placing her hands on his shoulders, Nix gently turns him around.
There, hands over her mouth, eyes glistening with tears, standing before him, is Chloe.
Taking her hand from her mouth, she steps towards him.
Her eyes locked with his, she tenderly gazes at him with all the love she holds shining in her eyes. Cupping his face in her hands, she leans up, gently kissing his lips. “You just did”, and as Lucifer wraps her into his embrace, they both hear her softly say…” Lucifer…I love you too.”
Stepping back, wiping the tears from her face, Nix returns to the lounge just as Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shiver’ is played once again.