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"Didn't I told you that I will go there with you after my basketball match?"
"And didn't I told you that it can't wait, we need the supplies asap because we need to prepare for tomorrow's edition of bulletin board today?"
"So you asked him to drive you?!"
"Then what about you? Was there no other girl to fill the manager position for your team?! Why her?!"
"Why you make this about me?!"
"So, it's all only about me?! You can, but I can't?!"
I know some students already stop walking because of this sudden afternoon entertainment. Videos of us would spread by tonight on social medias, period.
He doesn't seem to care, so do I.
His team lost an important match today and he throwing it all on me, making my mistake as sources for his emotional ranting. I know one of the reason their team lost today is because their supposed to be manager wasn't there on the court with them, she's taking a sick absent. He need something to blame, but his pride is too high to pointing it to their (him and his team) poor decision at chosing that annoying fangirl of him as the replacement. They chose someone who doesn't bother anything about the game but my boyfriend. The manager's role and presence are important and almost crucial for a team who is competing in a tournament.
"How many times do I need to tell you that she likes you? She did the manager job without knowing anything, she just want to be with you. And now that she didn't do her job well causing your team lost, you blame it on me."
"Yeah, because you could do that job instead of dealing with all those stupid papers and prints for the bulletin board."
"They are important!" I screamed again at his face.
"You have your team who can handle it without you just for like... 3 hours, but you stubbornly refused the idea!" He take a step towards me with his eyes glaring.
He's really mad, that game must be so important for him.
"You were our manager before, you could help us first!"
"I'm not your team manager anymore, now I'm belong to the journalist club, why should I bother with your match?!"
"You're my girlfriend!"
"Doesn't mean that you owe me like that! That's not how it works!"
Some kids gasping as hearing our tones becoming more and more intense at each arguments.
I know he's gritting his teeth right now because I see his jaw clenching, "Then, must you went with him for the supplies?"
"Better than waiting for you finishing your stupid game."
"Don't you know that he has feeling for you, too?"
Another gasps heard as facts keep unfolding suddenly like this.
"He's an old friend of mine."
"Yeah, and he likes you more than that."
That statement makes me silence for seconds, not gonna lie.
"He's not."
"As much as you believe that she's hoping us to break up, he does, too."
We're staring, both eyes filled with anger although I'm not sure what he's been angry about right now: him losing the match or his jealousy. Just as much as I'm not sure if I mad about him for being stupidly ridiculous that he's blaming me for his lost or because he said more ridiculous baseless statement out of jealousy. I'm not even that jealous of her who clearly showing interest in him, but his accusation of my long best friend out of nowhere just doesn't make sense.
"He's not like that, we're friends."
"Now you defend him, why?"
"I'm not defending him, it's because you're being ridiculous right now out of your anger of losing the game!" I stomp my foot once, annoyed.
I'm going to end this stupid fight for real so I turn around and walk away from him.
"Where you going?!"
"Home!"
"My bike is right here!" He keep screaming to stop my walk but it doesn't do any good.
"I'm gonna go home alone!" I walk pass by other kids with phone on their hands still recording me.
"How you go home alone?"
"Bus, subway, whatever! I can go home alone!" Still screaming without even turn my head at him, I feel seriously mad. He's so childish right now and I'm tired after a long day finishing articles for tomorrow's bulletin board.
Suddenly my body is spinning as he grab my wrist and turn me around, "I'll take you home."
"We're fighting and mad at each other and it's uncomfortable, I can go home alone." I glares, voice low now that I'm tired of screaming.
"We're fighting, but I'll still take you home." He pull me forward, force me to walk to the parking lot with him.
He's so bossy and dominant, I know. I learned that about him this whole year dating him, and my conclusion on how to deal with that, is none. I can't really fight his dominant side, it's scary, so I give up everytime.
With face still glaring and completely showing how upset I am, I let him put the helmet on my head carefully.
"Get on."
And his command is like a mantra that hypnotizes me.
So here I am on his motorbike again, feeling the wind on my angry face while he driving fast on the quiet road. The sun nearly set, but it's not pretty at all as clouds cover it. It's like the sky's mood is matching ours right now.
It's not the first time we're fighting like this. In fact, we fight often. We both stubborn and definitely hard to give in, but we'll make up somehow. Not explicitly saying sorry to each other, we just back to caring each together again and naturally forget the fight after some times, without solving the issues, of course. But the issues doesn't matter that much anyway as it insignificant. Mostly, they are jealousy.
Water drops one by one into drizzles distracting my emotional silence at him along the road. It soon become rains so fast that he need to pull over at a nearest shop that has front roof.
"You're not get down?" He said behind his full face helmet.
"No." I said in upset tone.
"It's raining heavily."
"I don't care, take me home now. I can't stand a minute with you in this current state."
I feel his stare at me through the rearview mirror, but I avoid it, looking at the empty road instead, now is wet because of the rain. I heard his sigh before he turn on his motorbike again.
We're riding under the rain in fast speed, and in silence. Great, we'll be sick tomorrow, but I don't care either.
I don't even speak my protest when he suddenly change the route to his house instead of mine. I'm tired of arguing, now I just gonna do the silent treatment to him.
This silence ends once we arrive at his garage, rain still falling hard and we're soaking completely wet. Our uniforms ruined.
"I can't bring you home like this, your mom will kill me." He said in his low tone.
I still sitting on his bike even though he already get off. He take off my helmet, scanning my face then sigh.
"You're a mess." He said with the same tone as before then grab my wrist to make me get off the bike.
The door open just as we arrive at the front of it, his older sister gasping found both of us soaking wet from head to toe.
"Mom will kill you." She said while pointing his camera phone to us. She's taking pictures of us fast before he even get to protest.
He then taking off his shoes and his hold on my wrist, walk inside his house just like that, letting water drops wetting the floor.
"She's gonna kill you twice." Now his sister taking pictures of the wet floor. Another proof.
"Lend her your underwear." He said very casually and unbothered like it's not a big deal, disappear for seconds leaving me frozen at the front door with his confused sister.
"You guys fight again?" She asked just as casual as him. This family, really.
I just sighing tiredly make her shaking her head left and right in disbelieve.
"Guess this one is more dramatic as the rain involves." She said then turn around just right when Chan appear again with a towel and t-shirt in hand.
He put the towel on my head, moving it slowly to dry my hair a little then pulling me inside, directly lead me to her sister's room where she's already waiting for us.
I take what she prepare for me then walk to the bathroom in her room to change, still with no words come out of my mouth.
The moment I close the door, I hear a loud snap followed by her high pitch voice, "You crazy? Why you let her getting soaked like that?!"
"I just did what she asked me to."
"She should've just dump a fool like you!"
They surely continue arguing outside of the room as their voices getting further away. And I just eyeing the shirt he gave me to wear.
He's like this.
I can never hate him for long because he's like this.
I know he was mad because of the game just then. When he gets emotionally angry like that, he tend to say something he didn't meant. I understand him like that, because I'm no different than him. We both are like this.
That's why we still together like this.
Is this what people called toxic?
I close my eyes for a bit, gulping down. Sighing deep, I decides to not gonna bother about it. I proceed to dry my body and change to dry clothes the sibling has prepared for me instead.
There's only his sister at the living room when I'm done changing, holding a plastic bag contain my wet uniform in one hand, awkwardly looking at her smiley face. It's not the first time I come here and meet her, but never without notice like this. And never with wet body. Chan come before I get to say anything to her, holding a cup on his hand, steam coming up from it.
"You done? Come here." He take my wrist again lead me to his room. "Drink this." He said after I sit on his study chair. He changed already, black t-shirt and shorts to his knee, his favorite outfit of all time.
It's a hot citrus tea.
He walks out and leaving me again.
"Sis..."
"Second drawer on the left."
I heard them, sipping the hot tea carefully little by little by the time my boyfriend back here again now holding a hairdryer in hand.
"Door open!" His sister said as he about to close the door, he doesn't have a choice but to open it wide again.
"I'll take you home once the rain stops. I told your mom already." He said while plugging in the hair dryer.
I don't say anything, looking down to the cup of tea I'm holding as he start to drying my long hair. The noisy sound of the hair dryer helps my silent treatment, I just keep drinking the tea every once in a while until he's done.
And the rain keeps falling still, although not as heavy.
"Silent treatment now, right? I know you so well now." He stand beside me to take a comic book on his desk and somehow I can feel his body heat radiates as we're close to each other. "You can wait here chilling, or join my sister out there, up to you. I just gonna continue reading this." He get on the bed leaning his back on the board very casually.
I decided to busying myself with my phone, editing the articles that need to be glued on the bulletin board tomorrow. I still need to print some of it when I'm home and arrange it on shaped papers that me and my team worked on today.
In the end, we both just chilling at his room doing our own activities while waiting for the rain to stop. Silent isn't really bothersome, unexpectedly. I guess he need it too to sort his emotions again after being defeated in an important game. Basically, he just need someone to accompany him at his lowest state. Words of encouragement not really gonna work, at least for awhile.
We're on the ride again after the rain stop completely around 7 pm, to my house this time. Still no words coming from me. I want to keep it like this until I got home, but then change my mind midway, out of the blue. With no particular reason.
"I still need something for the board, can we stop by the bookstore for a minute?" I asked suddenly, screaming a little for him to hear me between these sound of the cold wind that slapping our faces.
"Sure." He screamed it the same and not long after, he park the motorbike in a bookstore parking lot.
I lied. I don't need anything anymore, I bought them all today. Something getting in my head telling me to try to making up this time.
We walk inside the store going straight to the supplies section, me pretending to searching for a certain paper with Chan calmly following me.
"What you write for the board this time?" He asked while eyeing many type of self-stick boards on the display.
Not expecting he'd be the one to speak first as he acknowledging my silent treatment. "College informations."
Silence.
"That's... important."
I blink.
Turning my eyes at him who is still pretending checking stuff like he's interesting in it, I found it amusing somehow. I mean, his presence right there.
"What stage of tournament you played today?"
"Group qualification."
Another silence before he look at me.
It is indeed important to him. He knows that I know, "So... your team not qualified?"
"We still has a chance, though it will be difficult."
We're staring.
"You can win the next one." I'm being honest right now.
He blink once then look down, ears getting red. "I hate losing."
"I believe in you."
He's smirking before look up to me again.
"Sorry." He said after a long pause.
This is the first time. Him saying sorry after a fight. Guess this one is big fight then, considering how it made us both soaked wet in the rain and still no one gave in.
I'm blinking fast, "We both childish, aren't we?"
His jaw clenching instead of answering.
I walk towards him slowly and hesitantly take him into my embrace. Awkward. "I'm sorry, too."
What's happening right now?
I feel him leaning to my arms more, putting his chin on my left shoulder while hands hugging me back. "My team... we were so confident to win this one, but..."
I pat his back slowly, "The team manager wasn't there."
"It was a mess. Kind of."
"You'll win the next one."
He hug me more for the last time, "Your mom's waiting for you. You got what you need?"
"I don't need anything, just feeling like to stop by a bit."
We get separated from each other, he take a chance to eyeing me again. "Take vitamin tonight, just in case. You were soaking wet."
I smile finally, "You, too." I take his hand this time, we walk out of the store without buying anything.
"Let me read your articles."
"I'll send it to you later before I sleep."
"You think your mom will kill me?"
I laugh a little, "Of course not."
"I bring you home when the sun already gone, not in your uniform but my shirt. I think I'm in trouble."
"I told her I had meeting with the bulletin team and coming home late..."
"That's not explaining your wet uniform."
"...and got rained on the way home."
"So we stopped by my house..."
"...to get a change and waiting for the rain to stop..."
"...as my house is closer."
I face him smiling. "We're good."
He nods agreed, "We're good."
I feel we just become a little more mature than an hour ago, but still very childish at the same time. Guess that's what relationship do to teenagers.
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