Chapter Text
Ariane’s forehead felt no different than it did a minute ago. No colder, no harder or softer, but she didn’t stir after I kissed it. Her eyes didn’t flutter open, her mouth didn’t twitch, her nostrils didn’t flare, her chest didn’t rise.
I still felt her neck on my hands. Her throat closing under my thumbs as I fulfilled my promise.
The tears didn’t come, I was too hollow to cry. I leaned against the side of the cryogenic pod and simply gave up.
-----
I woke up in my calibration pod. Another nightmare… I’ve had them every time I sleep ever since I made that horrible promise to Ariane. It’s always the same, the mining facility on Leng, the rusted, fleshy halls, the residential block on Rotfront.
I pulled myself out of the pod and stood up, making my way through the ship as I perform my routine checklist, confirming the state of the ship’s systems. Unusually, I run into Ariane in the galley.
“Elster, you’re up!” Her face lights up, a blush coloring her pale cheeks as she sees me, but she pauses. “… You didn’t sleep well, did you?” Do I have bags under my eyes? “I’m sorry…” Her gaze turns down as she rubs her arm awkwardly.
“It’s nothing, just a bad dream again.”
“Still, I feel responsible… I hate putting you through this.” It’s been 23 cycles since our mission update came through. The callous disregard for Ariane’s life, the way we’re treated as disposable tools, not even serving a practical function, simply an element of propaganda for the Nation to go out and die in the void… Ariane was disappointed at the mission update, but she never cared much for the Nation, and knew the feeling was mutual.
Even so, it forced us to start making plans for the end of our lives, and that lead to that promise.
“I’m not happy about it, but… Watching you suffer would be even worse. And besides, I wouldn’t be alone for more than a few minutes at most.” She winces when I say that, tears welling in her eyes.
“How can y-”
ACHTUNG
ACHTUNG
The ship’s computer blares an alert, cutting off Ariane mid-sentence and saving me from her concern. “Of all the times…” She mutters under her breath, wiping her eyes.
“If you aren’t in this ship, then there’s no reason for me to be here either. But we should see what happened.”
-----
The two of us piled into the cockpit, Ariane leaning forward between the seats to look at the central console readout. “Elster… Come look at this.” Her voice has a slight waver, she’s trying to keep her tone steady as she squeezes into the port seat.
===
[Planet detected]
Direction: X: +2.73 degrees Y: -6.49 degrees
Parent Star: G-type Main Sequence star, Absolute Magnitude 4.87
Estimated Orbital characteristics:
Aphellion: Approx. 160Gm
Perihellioin: Approx. 145Gm
Period: Approx. 400 Cycles
Estimated Physical characteristics:
Equatorial radius: Approx 70Mm
Further observation required.
Approximate Distance: 3.4 ly
===
I can only stare at the display. A planet roughly the size of Vineta with an uncannily similar orbit. “If… If it has water, then…”
“Then it might not need any klimaforming to be habitable.” Ariane finished for me. “I’ll set a course, we need to start closer observation.” Her voice is shaking a little.
“I-” I choke on my words. “I won’t need to… to…” I can’t breathe, my legs give out from under me.
“Elster?!” Ariane gets out of her seat. Her hand goes to my shoulder, it’s warm and soft, more than it has ever been before. I hadn’t even noticed how gray and dull everything had looked recently until now. “Elster, I’m here. I’m here with you.” I reach up to her and look into her beautiful red eyes.
It’s so hard to see, it’s hard to breath, but I don’t care. I grab onto her shoulder, she’s there, she’s real. She’s here in front of me right now, arms around me as a strange, almost alien noise reverberates through the cockpit. My legs aren’t working, I can only feel her body against mine, through our uniforms.
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It’s been an hour since we found that planet and I broke down sobbing into Ariane’s chest, I’ve finally gotten my breathing under control. I feel more stable, but there’s still so much running through my mind and I’m just laying on her bed, wrapped around her, my chin on her head
“We need to do an inventory of our supplies.” She talks first.
“Mm”
“Three and a half light years is a long way… It should take about eight years to get there… Another 3000 cycles almost…”
“Mm.”
“We might need to spend most of it in stasis. If we run out of food or spare parts or water filters it’d all be for nothing.”
“I don’t like the idea of being apart from you for that long…”
“I don’t either, but at least we won’t need to be awake for it.”
“We should get up and get started.”
“We should. The faster we get everything done the better.”
“I’ll probably need to leave stasis a few times in the trip to do repairs on the reactor.”
“Are you gonna let go of me so we can get to work, Elster?”
“Don’t wanna.” Ariane lets out a snorting laugh into my chest, then gently pushes me away. Our eyes meet again.
“We should probably send a message to Heimat that we found a suitable planet.”
I blink. “Really? I didn’t think you’d care about that.”
“I don’t, but…” She pauses. I can’t make out what she says next, her voice is so quiet.
“Hm?”
“I don’t, but what happens when you break down? We only have so many parts to maintain you, and there’s not much I can do for your biocomponents, and… I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
I loosen my grip on her, letting her shift herself out of my embrace and the bed.
“Alright, you send the message, I’ll start taking inventory.”
I let her go to the cockpit, and started to make my way to the storage hold so we could both get started on our work.