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Jiang Cheng expected Nie Huaisang to drop by but he didn’t expect it to happen while he was still being bandaged up.
And he didn’t expect Nie Huaisang to be quite so furious.
“What have you done?” he yells at him, louder than Jiang Cheng has heard him in years and Jiang Cheng levels him with a look.
“Do shut up, would you? Not everyone here needs to hear this,” Jiang Cheng gives back, as calmly as he can while his entire being throbs with pain.
It’s useless too, because of course Jiang Cheng’s disciples all know what he did. But that still doesn’t mean that Jiang Cheng wants to have this personal discussion where everyone can be privy to it.
“What have you done?” Nie Huaisang repeats, not much quiet though a tad more dangerously and if Jiang Cheng would care just a little more a shudder would probably run down his back at that.
Nie Huaisang has always been his most scary when he was quiet.
“What you should have,” Jiang Cheng finally gives back, determinedly not looking at how the doctor is re-stitching his arm back to his torso.
It was bad enough to feel it getting almost ripped off. He really doesn’t have to see it being stitched back on.
“Did he do that?” Nie Huaisang presses out with a nod towards the gruesome wound and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Yeah. He wasn’t quite too happy about being relocated.”
“You broke the seal on the coffin,” Nie Huaisang whispers, fluttering his fan in front of his face.
“I had to, to get him out.”
“And Jin Guangyao?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and Jiang Cheng scoffs.
“Oh, so this is what you’re really worried about,” he hisses at Nie Huaisang, because how dare he be more concerned about Jin Guangyao than his own brother.
“If he got out–”
“I’m not stupid,” Jiang Cheng snaps at him. “He’s still right where he is supposed to be. Do you really think I want to see him free after everything he did? He’s still in the coffin, except that now he gets to suffer there alone.” He narrows his eyes at Nie Huaisang. “What were you even thinking, locking them up there together? Don’t you think Mingjue suffered enough already?”
“Do not talk to me like that,” Nie Huaisang gives right back. “That wasn’t–quite the plan, but I can’t say it was too bad. At least like that da-ge could get his revenge.”
“Because that is what he needs right now.”
“There is nothing he needs,” Nie Huaisang says. “He’s a fierce corpse. What could he possibly need?”
“More compassion than he’s clearly getting from you,” Jiang Cheng almost yells right in his face, the anger still burning hot and bright in his chest.
Or maybe it’s the pain, Jiang Cheng can no longer tell apart one from the other.
Nie Huaisang still jerks back as if Jiang Cheng had hit him and he can’t deny the satisfied feeling that fills him at seeing it.
“What do you even intend to do with him?”
“What does it matter to you? It’s not as if you care.”
“Jiang Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang yells straight in his face. “Do not dare to tell me I don’t care. I have not planned Jin Guangyao’s downfall for thirteen years for you to tell me I don’t care.”
“All you care about is your revenge,” Jiang Cheng scoffs out. “Or you would have made sure to piece Mingjue back together instead of using him like that.”
Nie Huaisang works his jaw at that, but Jiang Cheng knows he can’t really say anything. He had thirteen years to put Nie Mingjue to rest as much as he could, as much as Nie Mingjue deserved, and instead of doing that he did nothing.
And Jiang Cheng is not about to forgive him for that.
“What are you going to do with him?” Nie Huaisang finally asks, and Jiang Cheng thanks the doctor when he finally, finally secures the bandage around his arm before he turns his attention back to Nie Huaisang.
“What does it matter to you?” he repeats.
“He is still my brother.”
“And my husband. So I am asking you again: what does it matter to you?”
“Wanyin, please,” Nie Huaisang finally says and Jiang Cheng has to give it to him, at least he doesn’t play it up with him, like he did so often in the past.
“I don’t know yet,” Jiang Cheng finally admits. “But him being here must be better than being locked inside a coffin with his murderer.”
Nie Huaisang is quiet for a moment.
“You hope he’ll come back to you,” he then whispers, clearly coming to a conclusion and Jiang Cheng shrugs, as best as he can with his arm.
“Wen Ning did.”
“I’m not sure–did he do that?” Nie Huaisang then asks with a nod towards Jiang Cheng’s injury.
“He’s not too happy to be locked up again, it seems,” Jiang Cheng tells him and tries not to think about how Nie Mingjue had tried to rip off his arm without hesitating at all when Jiang Cheng had tried to push him into the cell that was especially prepared for him.
“Wanyin, what if it’s too late? It’s been so long. Do you really think you can get him back?” Nie Huaisang asks and Jiang Cheng sneers at him when he notices the hope in his tone.
“Well, if I get him back it won’t be thanks to you, now, will it?” he asks, much more cruelly than he really has to be, but he still can barely wrap his head around what kind of monster Nie Huaisang had turned his husband into. “You let me think all this time that he was resting in peace, that he had entered the reincarnation cycle again and is just waiting for me, for us. And for what? To give me hope? To be able to play your little game? Fuck off, Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng tiredly tells him, the entire day hitting him all at once. “Just let us be.”
“You think he’ll like that, when he comes back?” Nie Huaisang wants to know, his eyes shining with tears but Jiang Cheng is no longer swayed by them.
“I think he would have liked to at least be put to rest properly,” Jiang Cheng shoots back and he notices the spark of anger in Nie Huaisang’s eyes.
“It wasn’t me who killed him!”
“But it was you who made his last resting place hell on earth for him,” Jiang Cheng snaps right back and then cuts Nie Huaisang off when it looks as if he wants to argue further. “Enough. Go away. He’s not conscious, he’s not responding to anything and as you so tactfully stated, there is little hope for that to change. So just leave. What does it matter to you where his body is, in the end.”
“I never pegged you as cruel, despite your reputation,” Nie Huaisang says, his voice wavering just a tiny bit and Jiang Cheng lets out a tired laugh as he pushes himself up.
“And I always thought you love your brother more than anything. Seems we got it both wrong in the end.”
At that Nie Huaisang presses his lips together and Jiang Cheng dares him to say anything else. At least not regarding that topic.
“If–he comes back, will you tell me?” he asks and Jiang Cheng stares at him for a long moment.
“When he comes back and wants to see you,” he then says and turns away from Nie Huaisang.
Jiang Cheng has had enough of Nie Huaisang right now and he would rather spend some time with his dead and feral husband.
Jiang Cheng decides not to think about what that might mean for his own mental state.
~*~*~
It takes Jiang Cheng three weeks to track down Wei Wuxian. Three weeks he spends sitting with his husband; his husband who behaves like a caged animal, pacing and growling at Jiang Cheng whenever he comes close. Jiang Cheng hasn’t made the mistake of stepping into the cell yet and he promised his healer he wouldn’t at least until his previous injury is completely healed. The urge is there though, even when Nie Mingjue snaps at him when he gets too close.
It hurts–almost more than losing him did but it doesn’t stop Jiang Cheng. He sits outside of Nie Mingjue’s cell, talking to him as if nothing was wrong at all, trying to catch him up on all the years he has missed. It’s not nice, to be confronted again with just how much Nie Mingjue has missed over the years, to think about just how long Jiang Cheng has been doing all of this without him by his side, but he pushes through it, always reminding himself of how much harder it must be for Nie Mingjue.
He hangs up Nie Mingjue’s old clarity bell at the cell as well, hoping that if his own voice isn’t doing anything for Nie Mingjue at least this will but after three weeks he still isn’t sure if any of the things he’s doing are really helping. If there even is something that could help.
Jiang Cheng threw some clothes into the cell as well, thinking that after everything Nie Mingjue went through he might want to protect at least his modesty, but Nie Mingjue had shredded the first two sets and he is currently using the third set as a makeshift bed even though he doesn’t sleep.
Jiang Cheng clings to the thought that clearly Nie Mingjue is aware enough to want some comfort, no matter how little, but he isn’t sure if he’s right about that.
He isn’t sure about anything anymore, except for one thing: he’s not going to give up on Nie Mingjue.
So when his second in command tells him that Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Wen Ning have arrived Jiang Cheng doesn’t fly into a rage at the presence of two people he definitely doesn’t want to have anywhere near his home. Instead he goes out to meet them like a grown-up.
“We–uhm–this is not us trespassing, okay, I heard you were looking for me?” Wei Wuxian babbles and Jiang Cheng hides his scoff when he realizes that maybe he said everything is in the past but he clearly doesn’t believe it himself.
“For you, yes,” Jiang Cheng nods. “If you can bear to leave your guard dogs outside then follow me.”
He doesn’t wait for Wei Wuxian’s answer and simply turns around. Either Wei Wuxian will follow or he won’t, that’s no longer in Jiang Cheng’s hands but he counts on the fact that Wei Wuxian is too curious for his own good.
And he is proven right when he hears someone running after him.
“I have an hour before Lan Zhan comes looking for me,” Wei Wuxian informs him as if Jiang Cheng is going to kill Wei Wuxian.
As if he needs longer than an hour for that.
“What is going on?” Wei Wuxian asks when Jiang Cheng leads him on, deeper into Lotus Pier and Jiang Cheng notices how Wei Wuxian briefly hesitates when he detects Nie Mingjue’s energy.
“Jiang Cheng–”
“This is your fault,” Jiang Cheng starts just as they are reaching the cell that contains his soul. “Your cultivation style did this. And I want you to fix it.”
He’s not asking, he’s well aware of that, but he doesn’t care.
Wei Wuxian already did it once, he can damn well do it again for him.
“Jiang Cheng, I’m not sure that’s possible,” Wei Wuxian carefully says. “I mean, look at him.”
Jiang Cheng hasn’t been doing anything else ever since he brought Nie Mingjue to Lotus Pier but he still turns towards the cell again. Nie Mingjue is snarling at them, desperate to get to them to tear them to shreds and even when he sticks his arm through the bars Jiang Cheng doesn’t step back, no matter how much Wei Wuxian pulls on his robes.
By now Jiang Cheng knows the distance he needs to keep from his own husband by heart.
“You did it before. You brought Wen Ning back. You can do it again.”
“I didn’t know what I was doing with Wen Ning,” Wei Wuxian admits. “And I’m–I can’t replicate that, not anymore.”
Jiang Cheng whirls around and grabs Wei Wuxian by the throat to pull him closer.
“This is your fault,” he hisses. “For once in your goddamn life, take responsibility and fix this for me.”
“I can’t, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian yells right back into his face, slapping his hand away. “And this is not my fault, I didn’t kill him!”
“But your cultivational style is keeping him from me!” Jiang Cheng shouts at him, clearly catching Wei Wuxian off guard because he can only stare at him. “No matter how my life goes, I’ll be stuck without him; if I cultivate to immortality, I’ll be left with this.” He nods towards a still growling Nie Mingjue. “And if I do die and reincarnate, then I’m still alone because his soul was ripped from that path!”
“I understand your pain, but I can’t help you,” Wei Wuxian says yet again and Jiang Cheng feels him swallowing against his hand. “He’s too far gone. He was left to stew in his resentment for too long, there is no coming back from that. Wen Ning was a different case entirely. I got lucky with him and that is not going to help you!”
“Fine,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says and shoves Wei Wuxian towards the exit. “Then get the hell out of here. If you can’t even do this for me then get the fuck away from me.”
Wei Wuxian regards him for a long moment and for a split second Jiang Cheng fears that Wei Wuxian is going to tear up on him now. Jiang Cheng isn’t sure what he would do, should that happen.
“Jiang Cheng, this isn’t like you. Would he want this?” Wei Wuxian eventually asks—thankfully without tears—and Jiang Cheng scoffs.
“He would have wanted to live a peaceful life, a long one. Not this.”
Jiang Cheng feels drained of all of his energy all of a sudden and he turns away from Wei Wuxian.
“Just leave,” he whispers, going back to Nie Mingjue’s cell.
Nie Mingjue is still growling but his eyes are fixed on Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng wonders just how much Nie Mingjue remembers from the temple. Maybe he still holds a grudge in death as well as he used to hold grudges in life.
“It’s just you and me again, my soul,” Jiang Cheng whispers out when he hears Wei Wuxian’s retreating footsteps and for just a moment he imagines stepping into the cell.
But even if he should want that, it would mean leaving Nie Mingjue all alone and Jiang Cheng is not about to do that to him, not if he can help it.
So he has to go on.
~*~*~
Nie Mingjue is calmer these days. Calm enough that Jiang Cheng can lean against the bars without having to fear that he’s going to tear his face off and Jiang Cheng has to admit that that is already a pretty significant change.
Maybe there is hope.
Jiang Cheng thinks about that for a second, his eyes on Nie Mingjue who is sitting on the ground, staring up at him and then Jiang Cheng decides to fuck it.
They will get nowhere if he doesn’t take some risks every now and then.
He opens the cell door, just wide enough to quickly slip through, and he closes it again after him as well. Jiang Cheng might be stupid but he’s not stupid enough to endanger his entire Sect by allowing Nie Mingjue to roam freely.
“Mingjue,” he whispers, carefully taking one step closer to Nie Mingjue.
He doesn’t react, keeps only watching him and hope blooms up in Jiang Cheng’s chest.
“My soul?” he whispers, crouching down to be level with Nie Mingjue and it seems as if that is his undoing.
Jiang Cheng isn’t sure how Nie Mingjue moved so fast but between one blink and the next Jiang Cheng is pressed against the wall with Nie Mingjue’s teeth in his neck.
He already bit hard enough to break skin—Jiang Cheng can feel the blood seep down his throat, warm and hot.
“My soul, please,” Jiang Cheng gasps out, reaching his hand up to tangle it in Nie Mingjue’s hair.
He’s not stopping him, not pushing him away or even fighting for his own life even though he knows that Nie Mingjue just has to bite a little bit harder and Jiang Cheng will be dead.
“Please come back to me,” Jiang Cheng whispers, tears sliding down his face and he feels it more than he hears it when Nie Mingjue makes a curious sound in the back of his throat.
“I’m here, okay,” Jiang Cheng gets out. “So you should be as well. We promised each other.”
He’s getting lightheaded fast, so maybe Nie Mingjue nicked something vital in his neck and then suddenly he’s losing time because between one blink and the next there are disciples at his side and then he’s already outside of Nie Mingjue’s cell.
“No, please,” Jiang Cheng gets out, trying to stumble back into the cell but his second in command has a very strong grip on him.
“Zongzhu, no. You need a healer.”
“I need my husband,” Jiang Cheng gives right back but then everything goes black around him.
The last thing he remembers is Nie Mingjue looking at him.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng can’t say he’s too pleased when Nie Huaisang shows back up at Lotus Pier. He gets a judging look for receiving him at Nie Mingjue’s cell, but Jiang Cheng couldn’t care less.
Ever since the incident he has been here more often than not, because he just knows that Nie Mingjue is still in there. He has to believe that because otherwise Jiang Cheng and his disciples would be dead by now.
“I see you still haven’t changed your little pet project,” Nie Huaisang greets him, slightly fanning his fan and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together.
“What do you want?” he bites out, and Nie Huaisang sighs.
“I heard what happened. I wanted to see if you are alright.”
“Right,” Jiang Cheng scoffs and then bares his neck at Nie Huaisang, the bite mark barely healed and still on display. “I’m doing great.”
“He could have killed you, Wanyin. You could be dead right now, and for what?”
“Don’t you see it, Huaisang?” Jiang Cheng says, desperation licking up his spine again but he has to believe this. “I should be dead, you’re right about this. He should have crushed my throat. He could have torn it out. He could have snapped my neck. But he did none of those things. He didn’t even attack the disciples that came in to get me out. He hurt no one. Do you really still believe that he’s not in there?”
“He hurt you,” Nie Huaisang gives back, his voice quiet.
“Look at him,” Jiang Cheng says in response, even though they both have not been doing anything else.
Nie Mingjue is sitting on the floor opposite of the cell door and he’s watching them avidly. He’s not growling at them, he wasn’t agitated when Nie Huaisang came close and he’s actually wearing pants.
“He put them on on his own. I just came here one morning and he was wearing them. And he hasn’t—since the incident he hasn’t even growled at anyone. He’s still in there, I know it.”
“Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang sternly says and turns around to Jiang Cheng. “You tamed a beast. That is a great feat, I won’t lie, but it’s not my brother. You domesticated a monster, that’s it. He knows you won’t hurt him and you’re always around. How do you think I get my birds used to me? I have seen this pattern before.”
“You’re wrong,” Jiang Cheng whispers, his hands gripping the bars hard. “You’re wrong.”
He has to believe that or else he’ll crumble.
“What did Wei Wuxian say?” Nie Huaisang asks because of course he would know about that, too.
“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng spits out. “He says there is nothing he can do.”
“And he’s the expert, isn’t he? That’s why you called him, right? If he says there is nothing to be done, why don’t you believe him?”
“Because he’s not right!” Jiang Cheng yells out and whirls around to Nie Huaisang. “He has no clue what he’s talking about and if that good-for-nothing can’t even do this then what use does he have, really?”
Nie Huaisang’s cold stare pins him in place.
“You sound like your mother.”
It feels like a slap to the face and just like that, everything breaks.
Jiang Cheng crumbles to the ground where he stands, big, heaving sobs breaking free of his chest and he’s drowning in it all.
“I’m sorry, A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang whispers, there to hug him just a second later. “I’m so sorry. But my brother is gone. He’s gone and there is nothing either of us can do.”
“Then why am I always the one left behind?” Jiang Cheng sobs out, gripping Nie Huaisang so hard that it must hurt but Jiang Cheng is flying apart and he needs something to ground him.
“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang gives back as Jiang Cheng shakes in his arms and he continues to hold him through all of it.
Jiang Cheng’s sobs echo in the hallway for longer than either of them want to admit and neither of them hear the sad whine coming from the cell.
~*~*~
Things after that don’t necessarily go better. Jiang Cheng still spends too much time at Nie Mingjue’s cell. He neglects his duties and his Sect and even himself. But now Nie Huaisang comes by to care for him regularly and that does make it a little bit easier, even though Jiang Cheng can still see the pitying look in Nie Huaisang’s eyes on most days.
Technically, Jiang Cheng is not allowed back in the cell—and especially not without supervision—but that has never stopped him and so he finds himself sitting opposite of Nie Mingjue, inside the cell.
“My soul, please,” he says, like he always does when he comes to sit with Nie Mingjue.
Nie Mingjue hasn’t attacked anyone since he almost took a bite out of Jiang Cheng; he hasn’t even so much as growled at a single person. Jiang Cheng wants to find hope in that but Nie Huaisang’s words spin around in his head.
It’s likely that he’s right. Nie Mingjue most likely got used to his presence and is well on his way to being domesticated without regaining a shred of his former self.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if that is a good thing, or just another torment for him.
“Please, I need you to—” he cuts himself off. “I don’t know what to do,” he then admits, lowering his head.
He knows what everyone else wants him to do: subdue Nie Mingjue or kill him if they can manage that.
But Jiang Cheng can’t stand the thought of that, even though he knows it would probably be a kindness at this point, no matter if Nie Mingjue can reincarnate or not.
He knows that and still—he can’t bring himself to do it. This is all he has left of Nie Mingjue and if he had to order his people to kill him—Jiang Cheng might as well kill himself right after.
“They want me to—” Again, he bites his tongue.
Nie Mingjue doesn’t need to hear this. If he’s still in there, he doesn’t need to hear just how much Jiang Cheng is suffering when he himself is surely suffering so much more.
Jiang Cheng hears a shuffling noise from Nie Mingjue and he knows he should look up to see what he’s doing, but what does it really matter. If Nie Mingjue still wants to kill him after everything, then so be it.
Jiang Cheng is tired.
So he keeps his head low, though he does strain his ears to puzzle out what Nie Mingjue is doing. He doesn’t have to wonder long because Nie Mingjue’s knees show up in his field of vision just a moment later and then there’s a careful hand on his knee.
Jiang Cheng’s eyes are burning and he presses them together before he raises his head because he is most likely reading something into this again or maybe he’s just dreaming this all. But when he looks up, Nie Mingjue is right there and even though it looks stiff and strange, he’s clearly attempting to smile at Jiang Cheng.
“My soul?” Jiang Cheng croaks out, almost strangled by the hope that grows in his chest and Nie Mingjue gives him a jerky nod.
Jiang Cheng still flinches a little bit when Nie Mingjue points one of his clawed fingers at him but that quickly turns into a frown when Nie Mingjue then points at his own chest.
“What?” Jiang Cheng asks. “I and you?” he tries but Nie Mingjue shakes his head, pointing at Jiang Cheng again before he taps his chest several times, right where his heart would be.
“I and—heart?” Jiang Cheng whispers and he doesn’t even care that he’s crying. “I am your heart?” he tries and starts to sob for real when Nie Mingjue nods.
“Heart,” Nie Mingjue tries to say but it comes out mangled and barely understandable and Jiang Cheng leans forward to put his hands to Nie Mingjue’s throat who lets him without resistance.
Jiang Cheng lets his qi flow into Nie Mingjue not even thinking about the consequences such an action might have and he finds the problem relatively quickly.
“Your vocal cords are a bit messed up,” Jiang Cheng notes, tears still sliding down his face, because of course they would be. Nie Mingjue had been beheaded and then his head had reattached itself.
Of course things would be messed up.
Jiang Cheng tries to heal as much as he can with his qi, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing because he’s no healer and it’s actually hard to concentrate on this, knowing that this is Nie Mingjue. Still, he tries his best and when he’s done, Nie Mingjue smiles at him again.
“My heart,” he then says, carefully pronouncing the words and while it’s still rough, it’s comprehensible.
And that is all Jiang Cheng needs.
“I knew it,” he cries out and throws himself into Nie Mingjue’s arms, who presses him tightly to his chest. “I love you, I have missed you so much.”
“Love you,” Nie Mingjue says into Jiang Cheng’s hair and Jiang Cheng is so overwhelmed that he can only cry but Nie Mingjue continues to hold him the entire time.
He doesn’t even stop when Jiang Cheng’s disciples finally find them and Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have it any other way.
(It’s not a magical fix, but now that Jiang Cheng knows that Nie Mingjue is still in there, he tries harder than ever. Nie Mingjue has bad days where he forgets who and where he is but those get few and far in between. Jiang Cheng’s healer manages to repair Nie Mingjue’s vocal cords enough for him to be able to speak properly and by the time Nie Huaisang arrives in Lotus Pier again, Nie Mingjue is lucid enough to hold an actual—if short—conversation with him. When Nie Huaisang almost crushes Jiang Cheng with the hug he receives afterwards, he doesn’t mention it, just as he doesn’t demand an apology from him. It still takes Nie Mingjue almost five years to pass as a normal cultivator again, but neither Jiang Cheng nor Nie Huaisang mind. It gives them time to cultivate to immortality, after all.)