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Timothy Laurence woke up quitely from his slumber, not really knowing where he was. Opening his eyes slowly, he glanced briefly at his surroundings and then knew where he was : at their home, in their bedroom. Turning his head, beside him, was his wife breathing quietly. She had tossed and turned the whole night, but thankfully her sleep had already improved in comparison to the nights before.
Cautious not to make any noise and wake her up, he slowly turned to her and his eyes instantly softened by her sight. She had done so well, the day before and every day since The Queen's passing. But he didn't know that if she were so strong it was thanks to him.
Setting the plan for after her passing, The Queen had asked Anne to accompany her in her in her last journey, first because Charles would be busy as he'll be the new King and Edward and Sophie have young children to take care of but mostly because Anne is her only daughter and they have a special bond, and the later has been most than "glad" to have been chosen by her mother because it meant to her too.
Getting under way the plan they have established after The Queen's, Tim has asked them if he could accompany Anne, he didn't want to let her do it by herself. He felt like his place was by her side, he wanted to show her that she wasn't alone, he was there for her, and they'd get through this together. The new King did not object, he knew that his sister will need her husband now more than ever and he was the only one who is able to understand her more than anyone else. And in addition to that, before her passing, The Queen has asked him to accept if Anne wanted her husband to be with her. So why refuse? Neither The King nor Anne had objected. In the privacy of their bedoom and before starting to get ready for the long journey ahead of them, hugging Tim with teary eyes, Anne thanked him for his gesture. He always knew when she needed him the most and was always there for her and Anne felt really grateful for that.
Before leaving their bedroom and start their journey, he held her in his arms, and whispered those words, “You're gonna make it, and I'm here for you.” He kissed her forehead and she hugged him tight, comforted to hear those words from him.
It took them more than six hours by road from Balmoral to Edinburgh. Her equerry who used to accompany her everywhere, is now accompanying her to her last journey as her son-in-law with his wife, her only daughter who has seen her become Queen. It was meaningful for both of them.
When they were in the car and when there were no cameras, Tim reached for her hand, gently caressing it with his thumb and giving it a little squeeze. He looked at her, carrying a silent conversation, “I love you and again, I'm here for you.” Squeezing his hand back, she gave him a teary smile and turned her face to look out the window, afraid to burst into tears, it wasn't the right time for that, she had to be strong.
From the Palace of Holyrood, in Edinburgh, -where she performed a deep curtsy to her mother's coffin, showing her deep respect and devotion as she did all her life,- to London where took place the Lying-in-State and the Funeral, never, not for a single moment Tim has left her, he was either standing beside her or walking right behind her. And when they were forced to stay away from each other, knowing that he was still there comforted her heart and she could always feel his eyes on her as he kept checking in on her. In private as in public, he was always taking care of her. He didn't want to overdo, he knew how Anne works, in these times, she needed her space but a gentle touch, a kind word, a soft smile always made her feel better.
Checking in on the dogs a last time, she turned off the lights then suddenly felt a lonliness and a sadness that hit her like a hurricane. She had spent the last few days pushing down her tears for the sake of the public and especially for the sake of her family not to worry them, but now that she really realised that her mother was really gone and she attented her funeral, the only thing that she wanted to do, was to cry in her husband arms.
Rushing into her bedroom where her husband was, she stood at the doorway, tears glistening in her eyes, Tim looked up at her in a worried face when he saw the state in which she was. She looked so frail and about to fall apart. “Darling, are you alright?”
She was about to answer but the words were stick in her throat, so she just shook her head and he opened his arms for her. “Come here.”
She rested her head on his chest and held him for dear life.
Tears began to roll down her cheek. Usually he would wipe them out, but he didn't this time. He let her cry, she needed it. “Cry darling, let it all out of your chest, I'm here for you”
Soon enough, her tears were no more silent but turned into sobs.
“Mummy's gone, Tim.” She finally said in a muffled voice.
What one was supposed to say to this? She hasn't lost just her mother, but her a sister and a friend too. Tim didn't say anything, he just held her tighter and kissed her head, and he, himself, ended up sheding a few tears, he loved The Queen and considered her as his mother, as she considered him as her son and was very fond of him. But most of all, he cried because he couldn't do anything to take his wife's sadness away.
Eventually, her sobs were reduced into sniffles and silent tears and she felt a bit comforted being in his arms which she has been avoiding the last few days out of fear of losing control and breaking down.
After holding her silently and letting her vent her feelings, he finally spoke, “I know, it's hard, but we'll get through this together. And know that from there, she and your father must be so proud of you, and so I am.” He tried to comfort her, stroking gently her loose hair.
She nodded, but held him tighter, as if he would disappear. And he understood what that hug meant, so he hugged back tight. And they stayed like that for some time. Needless to say anything, his touches and him being with her were doing all the talking. But when he sensed that she started to fall asleep he spoke quitely, “Darling, why don't we call it a night? You need to rest.”
Looking up at him, she saw his puffy eyes, poor thing he's been crying too, and she felt guilty to see him in that state, he's gone through all of this because of her. “You're right,” she said quitely, reaching out to stroke his face, “I'm sorry, you must be exhausted.”
He shook his head. “It's not about me, Anne. It's about you. Please, darling.”
She agreed but she had a request. “Can I sleep in your arms? You always make me feel better.”
“Of course darling, you don't have to ask for that.” He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her temple then turned to switch the lights. Sleeping in his comforting arms, she will hopefully sleep well tonight.
He was the first one to wake up. He was so proud of her, and she was so thankful for him.
With gentle fingers he touched her beautiful face. Then carefully placed a light, proud kiss on his wife's temple. Anne was startled, and frowned in her sleep, but then when she knew it was him she smiled.
“Good morning, beautiful.” Tim whispered to his wife.
“G’morning.”, she murmured, half-asleep. “Time to get up already?”
He couldn’t help but smile. How on earth could one human being be so adorable? “Almost. I'm sorry if I woke you up”, he replied, stroking her tousled hair out of her face.
“Would you like to cuddle a bit?” He asked innocently.
Anne nodded and moved her body towards her husband's. She savoured those few private moments between them now more than ever and his arms never failed to make her feel safe.
“I'll prepare the breakfast while you take a shower, okay?” He said after sometime, as he gently stroked her arm.
She nodded and looked up at him then closed her eyes and kissed his cheek. God, how she loves him. As he got up from the bed, her hand reached out for his, giving it a little squeeze, gently pulling him back towards her and he turned to her. “Thank you.” She said quitely, looking up at him as she leant and softly kissed his hand. A kiss of gratitude. She could never get enough of kissing that hand that always wipped her tears away. He was her rock, her strength and stay, her everything. He was the one to give her an uplifting smile, even if he, himself, tried to hold it together. He was the one who made her feel loved and cherished every second of her life. In fact, his love was the only thing that really mattered to her.
“Darling, I told you before, there's no thank you between us, I'm your husband. And remember, when mum passed away, you were here for me too.” Leaning down, he cradled her face in his hands and gently kissed her lips. She felt a sting in her eyes as his lips touched hers. Does he even know how much she loves him? She closed her eyes and relished in the intimacy of his soft lips against hers.
“No Tim, I have to thank you, you've always been there for me, for my children and for my family, and you've never complained about it even though I know how hard it is sometimes. So, thank you, darling. I don't know what I could've done without you.”
He didn't want to argue with her this time. “Anne, you're my wife. And believe me I've done nothing special, I just love you. He kissed her forehead this time. “Now, come on, get up, we have a lot of things to do today.”
As he was setting the final touches of their breakfast, she appeared in the doorway, her hair styled in a little bun and wearing casual clothes, she bent down and patted Eglantyne. He looked at her. God, how beautiful is she. She still looked a bit tired, which is understable after all what she's been through, but she looked better than she did the last few days. Getting home, sleeping in her bed and in his arms have been good for her. Tim smiled at his wife, and she smiled back at him but her smile didn't reach her eyes. He knew it wasn't easy to get back to normal. Grief isn't an easy thing especially when you have a strong bond with your parents like Anne had with hers. He knows that, he has already experienced it with the loss of both of his parents, but nonetheless he felt so bad about it. For now, he will let her mourn her mother properly in private, and he'll be with her but still made a promise that he'll do everything possible to change that soon, and make her smile again.