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No matter how noisy this restaurant was, it was no match for the thoughts bouncing around in Ichika’s brain.
It didn’t help that she was seated directly across from her best friend turned crush and right next to her other two best friends (who had recently started dating and were currently making kissy faces at each other from across the table.)
Correction: Saki was making kissy faces at Honami who was bashfully hiding her face and giving her the most sickeningly sweet look Ichika had ever seen.
Ichika was not upset with them in the slightest. She fully supported their relationship; they were meant for each other. They were cute, even, holding hands on their way home from band practice and sneaking each other lovestruck looks in between songs. Rather, she was reminded of what she didn’t have, what she could have, with the incredible bassist in the booth across from her.
If only she’d get over herself and make a move.
Ichika is snapped back into reality when Saki falls back against her, hysteric with laughter. She doesn’t know who said what, but she giggles along with her anyway. The upbeat feeling Saki radiates has always been utterly infectious.
“Woah, Saki!” She says as she almost knocks her clean over, and gently pushes her back up by the shoulders. In doing so, she catches Shiho watching, a fond smile as she sees the scene unfold, a glitter in those dazzling emerald eyes. Ichika has to make a significant effort to pry her gaze away; it’s almost unnatural, like pulling a planet from its orbit.
She’s been finding that this has been happening very, very frequently.
In an extremely quick recovery, Saki leans across the table and, in slamming her palms down excitedly, nearly dips one of her twintails into the sauce on her plate. She did not seem to notice.
Ichika knew the mischievous look that passed over Saki’s face all too well. She’d come up with an Idea.
“I know!” She exclaims. “We should all go on a double date!”
Ichika can barely process her words fast enough. They should go on a what now?
“But we aren’t dating?”
Ichika looks up at Shiho with bewildered eyes. They’d said it in perfect sync.
Ichika felt her cheeks burn, thoughts running a mile a minute. Did Shiho not want to date her? Obviously, they weren’t at the moment. It was a factual statement and Ichika herself had said it right along with her. But it still stung, she supposed, hearing the words from the girl she’d long been pining after.
“Like as friends!” Honami quickly corrected. She reached across the table to take one of Saki’s hands in hers. “But two of us are also dating. Yeah. Like that.”
Saki laughs nervously, running her thumb across Honami’s knuckles. “Yeah! Like that!”
All Ichika can do is nod and absentmindedly tug on her sleeves. Saki is a menace and a menace who knows about her very long-term crush. She is very, very lucky that she loves her.
The silence is broken as Shiho coughs and stands. “I’ll, uh, go get a waiter. For the bill.”
Ichika gives her a weak thumbs-up as she walks off. Shiho’s logic and intelligence are always appreciated, and one of many reasons she’s utterly head over heels for her.
Not that she’ll be telling her that.
Not even a minute later, Saki nudges her with her elbow, smirking. Ichika pointedly did not nudge back.
“Ask her out!” Saki whispers, maybe a little too loudly. “I just know she’s gotta be into you! Did you see the way she looked at you all day today?”
The thoughts begin bouncing around in her brain even faster than before. Was she looking at her in a way that was… more than platonic? How was Ichika supposed to know, anyways? None of this romance stuff came easy to her, aside from the actual emotions.
She sighs. Saki pats her back in an attempt at comfort.
“We can go now if you guys want?”
Shiho must’ve taken care of everything already, as she stands in front of them and rifles through her wallet for a tip.
“Oh!” Honami says, shooting to her feet. “Thank you for paying for us, Shiho.”
“It’s no problem,” she responds, carding her fingers through her short hair.
As they all exit the restaurant, the golden sun setting in the distance, its hues intermixing with the inky night, Ichika longs to reach out and interlace those fingers with hers.
The midnight, Shibuya sky was beautiful.
Maybe not as vibrant as in Sekai, with its endless galaxies and constellations, not a single star obscured by passing clouds. In the real world, even under clear skies, the light pollution from the city did stargazers no favors. Regardless, though, Ichika found solace on the apartment complex’s rooftop. In Sekai, she ran the risk of running into another band member, which wasn’t a bad thing, but hard to escape from when she needed to be alone. But here, in her very own apartment building? She could be certain that no one else would arrive and interrupt her thoughts.
Technically, the roof was off-limits, but it wasn’t hard to gain access. Determined not to make a habit of it, she was able to use Leo/need’s rising popularity to weasel her way into the passcode from their janitor. They were an incredibly polite fan, and hardworking in their job at that. As forgiveness for the passcode, Ichika showered them with free concert tickets and generous tips.
The cool night air and blissful proximity from the public would normally quell Ichika’s anxiety in an instant, but tonight was another story altogether. Her boot tapped against the concrete, and in an effort to slow her racing heart, tried to match it to the steady tempo Honami would set for the band in their newest song.
Unfortunately for her, it was a love song.
Ichika’s stomach twisted with the reminder of what she was about to do, the life-changing decision she was about to make. After long deliberation over that restaurant conversation (and a long talk with Saki over the phone that night), she’d made up her mind to just go for it. This was what she really wanted. Shiho was who she really wanted.
She could do this.
As if on cue, the rooftop access door swung open with a creak, and there she stood.
Maybe it was the nature of the occasion, but tonight, Shiho looked especially pretty to Ichika. She hadn’t changed her hair or put on any makeup or even worn anything fancier than one of her usual hoodies, but something about her was incredibly enchanting, more so than usual.
“Hey.” She came over to sit by Ichika and joined her in gazing off into the distant stars.
Ichika laughed a little, laced with nervousness. She hoped Shiho wouldn’t notice. “Hey, yourself.”
Now that she was so close, Ichika could see Shiho even more clearly, illuminated ethereally by the moon above. She was enraptured by the way her hair fell and the shiny green of her eyes and the curve of her nose and the dip of her lashes and the probable softness of her lips-
“Ichika, you alright there?”
She blinked quickly. “Oh, yeah! Sorry, I spaced out for a minute, I guess.”
God, was she blushing? She was probably blushing, and Shiho probably noticed and now she was going to be even more of a mess when she asked her out. Which she was going to do tonight. In a matter of mere minutes. Right.
Shiho hummed in response, looking somewhat unconvinced but without comment nonetheless. She leaned forward, resting her chin on her knee. “So, any particular reason you called me up here?”
Ichika had no idea how to stall actually telling her, she realized, as Shiho tilted her head curiously and her attention shifted from the stars above to the girl seated beside her.
Moment of truth, she supposed.
“Yeah, actually,” Ichika said, trying to steady her voice. Slow, deep breath in. This was the same girl she’d known since they were little kids; Ichika had more years of her life spent knowing Shiho than not. This was the same girl who secretly played pet-raising games on her phone and cooed over bunnies when she thought no one was looking, the same girl who isolated herself in middle school to protect her friends at the cost of her own happiness, the same girl who wanted nothing more than to touch hearts with her music the same way it touched hers.
Shiho was kind. If she were to reject her, she’d make sure it wouldn’t leave a wound. Ichika was certain.
She steeled herself and reached for Shiho’s hand. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t pull away.
“Shiho,” Ichika started. “I love you. Like, in more than a best friends way. I think I have since we were kids, I just… finally feel like I really should tell you. You’ve always shown so much care and support to me, and you stand your ground and are so beautifully firm in your beliefs. No matter what anyone else says, no matter what they think of you and the Shiho you show to the world, you’re the sweetest person alive, to me. You don’t have to share my feelings, but I really want you to know. That’s, um, all.”
Shiho opened her mouth and stared at her for a long moment. Was she too blunt? Ichika felt like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest.
But then, a moment later, Shiho smiled with more fondness than Ichika had ever seen on her before.
“Ichika,” Shiho’s eyes searched Ichika’s as she looked at her. “You really mean that?”
“I’ve never meant anything more.”
Shiho laughed a little, equally nervous and excited. “Ichika, you have no idea how much I feel the same.”
It was like the clouds parted- and maybe they really did, the stars above them seemed to gleam a little brighter than before- as Shiho squeezed her hand and Ichika leaned in closer to her and they both were laughing together and nothing felt more perfect.
Some invisible force seemed to tie them together as Ichika pulled Shiho into her arms, a few stray tears making their way down her cheeks as they hug. She feels like home.
Shiho whispers against her shoulder. “I never properly said it, but, I love you too, Ichika. I have for years… and years and years.”
It’s so sweet and honest and endearing that Ichika actually squeaks. Shiho laughs a little and buries her face into her shirt. “God, that’s so cute.”
Ichika is grateful Shiho can’t see the furious shade of red that must have bloomed all over her face, though the way she leans closer into their embrace must give her away. This girl is going to be the death of her. Death by affection from Shiho Hinomori. Carve it into her gravestone.
“Guess we’ll have to take Saki and Honami up on that offer, now,” Shiho whispers, pulling away ever so slightly, smiling all the while. Ichika is completely moonstruck by the soft look on her now girlfriend’s face. “Now that it’s totally romantic, and all.”
The word “romantic” said by Shiho, in relation to her? Ichika felt like she was in the most incredible dream. She squeezes Shiho’s hand, just to make sure she’s very much awake.
“I suppose you’re right,” she sighs contently, unable to hold back a grin. “I suppose you’re right.”