Work Text:
Hanahaki disease was but a mere speck in the unending sea of impossibilities, Kaoru thought, absentmindedly reciting her lines as she clutched the script in hand. That disease where someone coughs out flowers due to their unrequited love looked like a fragment of a fabricated tale, for such an occurrence is not bound to happen in this very life.
That was what she thought, before her gaze fell on Chisato's wonderful smile a few days later. Her childhood friend whom she had always loved ever so dearly, was someone else's, and that was a foretaste of the sickly sweet fate that awaited her.
There were moments where she would see Chisato and her dearest together, being a sweet couple they were. And of course, there were also moments where she would cough out a few petals and blooms, crimson stains dying her clothes and leaving marks on her insides.
That's right. The once healthy and prideful actress was now overtaken by the disease's cruel ravages, and their meeting was bound to be a trigger for the blooms' appearances. Even if she was to only make eye contact with her, a petal or two would force their way out, blood seeping out of her and the flowers wrecking her insides.
Now, here she is, resting in a state of exhaustion in the theater's backstage. The place where Kaoru and her dear friend Chisato would usually meet, was now a lonely room, a place that used to be filled with the gleeful voice of her childhood friend's, the warm scent of the food she would get for the actress to eat, and the sweetness of a certain blonde girl's smile.
A cruel fate had took away what once was hers, forbidding her from meeting her beloved Chisato.
How she wanted to meet her again.
Her dear childhood friend, lost to the vast land of ignorance.
Her chest ached of longing and misery, one that blinded her of even the mere sight if happiness before her eyes. Seeing Chisato with anyone else besides herself would sicken her to the core, countless blossoms of golden roses burning her throat as she coughed and wheezed with every breath she took.
That time, however, someone was there to check on her well-being.
"Kaoru-san, you okay?"
A certain brown-haired girl said, asking her from the distance. Yamato Maya, 'twas her name. An old friend from the past, now a workmate of hers in the theater.
"Why, of course, dear Maya. I currently am not harboring any sickly condition," she lied, laughing bitterly at her own fate. "I'll be going now."
"Alright then, I'll see you later–"
"Ah!" she suddenly yelled, reaching out to her colleague. "Will you turn on the stage lights for a moment? I... feel like doing some rehearsing and practicing by myself."
"Well..." Maya sighed, chuckling as she did so. "If you say so, then I guess there's no problem with me."
That colleague of hers did as told. The lights were now bright and shining on the lone stage, accompanying the violet-haired actress's solitary entrance. A script was what she held in her hand, one she had recited earlier that day.
But of course, the sole reason she asked the other to keep the lights on wasn't because she needed to practice. How could someone as sick as her, who had spent the last several days in bed, have any reason to practice?
Yes, Kaoru did, in fact, take a whole week to 'recover' before returning back to this theater. That illness has wretched her insides, endless wheezing and coughing followed by throwing up several blooms and the thorns piercing her throat.
"Ah, Chisato..."
A quiet silence before she coughed up even more of the golden petals stained in red.
"Why must you be so... charming? Your beauty... Why must it be so blinding?"
Tears mixed with sweat and blood, she opened her mouth once again.
"While you are, indeed, beautiful, your beauty... restrains me from living."
Regardless of those painful memories, she set foot on the stage, a meaningful smile blooming upon her face, just like the roses blossoming inside her chest.
As if she knew all those agonizing times will come to an end. No matter when it'll come to her.
And just at that moment, as soon as her colleague left the building, the actress fell onto her knees, golden roses and blossoms alike falling freely from her mouth. Petals and blood dyed Kaoru's bottom lip, having spurted out from the endless blood she had swallowed along with the thorns and flowers she had always held back.
A show of nothing but pure madness before whoever dared to witness.
Now, all of those horribly cheerful blossoms and the bloody mess surrounding her made Kaoru release a pained wheeze. Her hands did nothing to mask the blood dripping down her clothes, and her hair covered most of her tear-stained face.
Even her vest was now stained in crimson, decorating her gloved hands.
"Chisato..."
The actress managed to utter out in her spell of delirium, tears dropping from her crimson eyes filled with nothing but sheer desperation for whoever resided above to give her salvation so to save her from this endless loop of despair.
More of the crimson liquid trailed down her chin, dirtying her once clean gloves with a stain of red. The flowers dyed her cape's velvety fabric with their petals, the dripping red blood gading into the black-and-white cloth. The winter air was chill, not to mention it stung her scorched cheeks.
The actress let out another awful-sounding gasp, one that stilled her heart down to a bone-aching halt as she cried out with a soundless weep. She then collapsed with the remaining energy she had left, gazing upon the stage's light that shone down on her from above.
"Say, Chii-chan," she mumbled, as if her dear friend was there to accompany her on her last night. "If you were to see me for one last time, would you stay by my side before this life of mine comes to an end?"
Kaoru murmured with all the strength she could muster, the horrible aching feeling in her throat slowly fading away, along with her own consciousness. A hand laid itself on her stomach, her breaths raggedy and uneven.
Even so, she continued to stare into the light, as if she could truly be saved beneath the gods' gaze.
"Regardless of your answer, I would have stayed, you know?"
She bitterly laughed at her own fate, her destiny to never truly love her beloved.
"Although," her words came to a halt. "I wish you... and whoever you love... all the happiness and affection in the world."
Her deathly breath seemed to indicate that she knew that she had said her goodbye. The prince had bid her adieu to her dearest princess, so what more could she say before she finally passes away?
Ah, right.
"And I... have always loved you."
Kaoru smiled, as if a heavy weight has been vanquished from the depths of her heart.
"Even if... I can't love you, thank you... for all those memories together. I... will never... forget them."
As the night continues on, the spotlight shining on the now unconscious body, the prince laid still, a content smile on her face. And as if her words had caused the other to hear and understand, her vision soon faltered, her words forgotten.
And so, the actress went into her final slumber, at peace with her story's end.
"I love you, Chii-chan. May you always be happy with whoever you love."