Chapter Text
Charlie hadn’t meant to zero in on Nick as soon as he walked into his first QSU meeting. Honestly, he truly hadn’t given much thought at all to the potential for romance that came along with meeting a whole bunch of other queer people on campus. He wanted to make friends and find community, and if love blossomed after that, who was he to deny himself that?
But of course his eyes were immediately drawn to the large and laughing strawberry blonde boy — man — in conversation near the door. And of course his eyes found the bi pride pin affixed to his jacket. And of course he’d been unable to pull his eyes away from the sight of this man beaming, a hand reaching up to adjust his hair, muscles flexing beneath his baseball tee.
Before he could turn away, find some other awkward fresher to engage in conversation, the boy had shifted his gaze towards the door, catching Charlie’s eye. He looked surprised for a moment before breaking out into a wide, warm grin.
“Hi! This your first meeting?” Even his voice was beautiful, deep and warm, enveloping Charlie in a way he hadn’t known just a voice could do. Charlie wondered how he could ensure he heard this voice for the rest of his life.
The boy’s conversation partner turned around to also face Charlie, a stunning girl with dark skin and braids. She smiled wide at him, making her somehow even more gorgeous. Just as Charlie began to spiral about how beautiful a couple the two were, he noticed her earrings, a dangling lesbian flag.
“Erm, yeah. I just started here last week.” Charlie shuffled further into the room, stopping in front of the two. “Figured this might be a good way to get to know people.”
The boy’s eyes softened. “Yeah, it definitely is! I didn’t go to my first meeting until my second term, and I regret missing those few months all the time.”
“Don’t let him fool you, I had to drag him to his first meeting.” The girl stuck out her hand to Charlie, who grabbed it lightly. “I’m Tara. That oaf is Nick.”
Nick. Nick.
Charlie never really understood when people claimed a name suited someone, not grasping how that could even begin to make sense. But this man — this handsome, big, jovial man — could only be a Nick.
“I’m Charlie.”
He shook Tara’s hand, chancing a glance over at Nick as he let go. Nick beamed at him in response.
“Hi, Charlie. Very glad to meet you.”
And now, nearly five months later, Charlie couldn’t believe there was ever a time he hadn’t known Nick. They’d exchanged numbers after that first meeting, Tara excitedly grabbing Charlie’s phone to input hers and thrusting it at Nick as soon as she was done.
Nick had texted himself from Charlie’s phone and from there, the conversation… never really stopped.
Charlie had gotten lost on his walk home, and Nick had done his best to guide him over text. They’d celebrated when Charlie made it back safe and ended up texting well into the night.
They started superficial, sharing their courses of study (education for Nick, English literature for Charlie) and surface-level favourites. But by the time Charlie went to sleep that night, far later than he had planned, he knew about Nick’s family and pets and dreams for the future.
While normally, Charlie would hold back upon meeting someone new, not wanting to lay out all his flaws early on, he found comfort in Nick almost immediately. Soon, Nick knew about Charlie’s mental health struggles, becoming someone he could lean on, someone who supported him unconditionally.
On the surface, they didn’t actually have that much in common; Charlie loved books and music and staying in on a Friday night while Nick’s whole existence was so entwined with rugby and being a social butterfly.
But Nick could spend hours watching Charlie practice his drumming, sometimes even trying his hand at a song or two. Charlie had finally relented and let Nick give him a rundown of rugby, spending a few afternoons running plays with just the two of them. Despite not being much of a reader, Nickloved hearing about whatever Charlie was currently reading and would come to him for book recommendations every so often. And Nick brought Charlie out of his shell, taking him to parties and get-togethers but always staying with him and leaving when Charlie’s social battery ran out.
Charlie cherished the time they’d spend together while both worked on different things, just being in each other’s space. Nick would plan full lesson plans while Charlie finished a novel, and neither had to say a word, the physical presence doing enough.
And of course, Nick’s smile made Charlie weak in the knees and he had dreams about running his fingers through his hair and he burrowed deep into every hug they shared, letting Nick envelope him completely.
It was truly no surprise when one day in December, right before Christmas break, Charlie realized he was properly in love with Nick. There wasn’t much shock in the realisation, just clarity; he had loved him for a while, he realised, but that simple fact had been hidden out of view, blurred and obscured from him. He had had a crush on Nick almost immediately, so it honestly seemed to be the natural progression of things.
Nick had been sprawled out on the floor of Charlie’s tiny dorm room, taking up most of the room’s space as though he himself were a part of the decor.
And at this point, he may as well be. They spent almost everyday together: getting meals in the dining hall, studying in the library, and, as they were that night, lounging around each other’s rooms. Nick had undoubtedly become his best friend in the few months they’d known each other.
“Winter break’s gonna suck,” Nick had bemoaned, eyes closed and hands rested on his chest.
Charlie looked up from his book, laughing lightly at Nick’s position. “How so? Because of your brother?”
“Nah. Well, I guess, but he’s only coming for Christmas Day so I won’t have to see him much.” Nick sat up and faced Charlie, expression serious. “It’ll be the longest I’ll go without seeing you since we met.”
Oh.
Charlie felt bowled over, a fizzing static sparking through his veins. He knew he’d miss Nick like a lost limb, but he figured that was just because he had a massive crush on him. No part of him (okay, maybe a small, hopeful part of him) thought Nick would feel the same.
Charlie fiddled with the top corner of his book. “We’re both from Kent, right? I’ll be back from Spain after Christmas, we could maybe meet up then?”
Nick beamed, bright enough to light up the whole room. “Yes, please! Still too long without you, but at least shorter.” He flopped back down on the floor, resuming his previous position. “How did I ever live without you?”
And that’s when Charlie realized he was in love. No one, not even Tao or Tori, had ever so casually and wholeheartedly chose him. Nick wanted Charlie in his life as much as possible and never held back on that. So how could Charlie not fall in love?
🍂
The first QSU meeting after Christmas break was exciting, an anticipation humming in the air. They were gearing up for their annual Valentine’s Day fundraiser, which would be officially announced to the club at this meeting.
Nick squeezed onto a couch next to Tara and Darcy, not leaving enough space for Charlie to sit next to him. Charlie rolled his eyes good-naturedly and began to sink to the floor at Nick’s feet.
“No, what are you doing? I left a spot for you!” Nick gestured insistently to the sliver of space next to him.
Charlie gave him an incredulous look, one eyebrow raising. “Nick, there’s no way I can sit there.”
“Wow, so you just don’t want to sit next to me anymore, is that it? I introduce you to my mum, to Nellie, and this is how you treat me?” Nick was trying to maintain a serious tone, but the playful smile on his face gave him away.
“We usually all sit on the bigger couch that fits four! We’ll adapt.” As Charlie sunk back down, an arm encircled his waist. “Nick!” He laughed out, surprised.
Nick pulled him up so he was sitting half on Nick’s lap. “Perfect.” He kept his arm tight on Charlie’s waist.
Charlie was sure he would burst into flames at any moment. Nick was holding him close on his lap, talking and laughing with Tara and Darcy as if it was no big deal, simply normal behavior for them.
The president of the club, Lee, quieted everyone, drawing attention up towards them.
“Thank you all for coming tonight. I hope everyone had a good holiday. We’re excited to be back for second term!”
Suddenly, a warmth tickled Charlie’s ear. “I heard we’re going to have a big Valentine’s Day ball. Smart dress and all.”
Charlie let Nick’s words glide into his ear, his whisper low and husky against the shell of it. He could only hum in acknowledgment, too worried even trying to speak would give him away.
Nick rested his chin on Charlie’s shoulder, his cheek pressing into Charlie’s neck. Charlie could barely concentrate on anything else happening around him.
“I know you’re all excited to hear what our Valentine’s Day fundraiser is, so I won’t keep you hanging on any longer.” They tapped out a drumroll on their thighs, other people in the room joining in. “We will be having a Valentine’s Day Ball!”
“Knew it!” Nick exclaimed quietly for just Charlie to hear.
“But, with a bit of a twist.” The room fell silent again, anticipation back in the air. “Kai has developed a matchmaking algorithm for his comp sci class, and we will be using that to determine dates for the Ball!”
A computer program would find his date? Obviously he had no chance of actually going with Nick, but he’d hoped he may be able to convince him to also go dateless so they could hang out all night. It wouldn’t technically be a date, but Charlie could still live in the fantasy just for that night.
“When you buy your ticket, you’ll get a QR code to scan that will take you to the quiz. Once we have all the answers, Kai will run their program, and we’ll notify you of your date!”
Nick blew a raspberry, loud and cacophonous in Charlie’s ear. “That’s decidedly less exciting now.”
“Oh please, you’ll get paired with some super hot and popular person who you’ll spend all night charming off their feet.” Charlie’s stomach churned as he spoke, trying to push that mental image away. “Pity me, I’m just some nerd.”
“Hey now! That’s my favourite person you’re insulting! Besides, I’m not interested in some lines of code finding me a date. I know what I like far better than it does.” Nick huffed petulantly, warm breath fanning out over Charlie’s cheek.
“Oh. You, um, like someone?” Charlie swallowed thickly. “You had someone you wanted to ask?”
“Charlie—“
“We were hoping some of you would want to buy your tickets tonight to kickstart the fundraiser!” At the president’s words, the other board members began walking around the room, stopping expectantly at each person.
Darcy raised her hand and then immediately began speaking: “Um, what about those of us in relationships? Or people who maybe wanted to use this opportunity to make a move on someone specific?” Nick let out a choked noise at the last question.
“I guess you’re welcome to take your partner. But the quiz will be fun! And maybe you’ll get paired together anyway!” Tara and Darcy grimaced. “As for someone wanting to make a move, you’re not going to be able to get into the ball with a date who you haven’t been paired with. We’ll be using the results as our check-in list.”
Nick dipped his head down, thumping his forehead on Charlie’s shoulder. Heat seeped through Charlie’s flannel as Nick burrowed his head into Charlie.
“Well, that sort of makes it less exciting, I guess,” Charlie tried to laugh, hoping to mask his disappointment with humour.
“I jush wamed o spen the nigh ith ou.”
Charlie actually did laugh at that, Nick’s muffled words cutting through his mixed emotions to remind him how fun being with Nick could be. “You’re going to have to repeat that using real words.”
Nick sighed and raised his head, returning his chin to Charlie’s shoulder. “I said: I just wanted to spend the night with you.” Charlie’s stomach flipped. “Now I have to make small talk with a stranger.”
“Maybe you’ll get paired with someone you know.” Maybe we’ll get paired together, and you’ll see, with the help of actual science, that we’re perfect for each other. “If you’re really that upset, we can skip out on it. Do something else that night?”
Charlie tried not to think about how much that felt like asking Nick out for Valentine’s Day.
“But I’m excited for the ball. I’ve heard they’re really good.” Nick leaned back and maneuvered Charlie so they could sort of face each other head-on. “Let’s agree that we’ll hang out at the ball, even if we have dates we don’t know.”
“Okay.” Charlie couldn’t deny Nick anything, not when he was holding him close and smiling wide and pleading with his eyes.
When Jazz, the club treasurer, made it to their couch, they each bought a ticket, scanning their QR codes with manufactured enthusiasm.
🍂
The rest of the meeting went by in a blur, Charlie concentrating more on every part of him that was touching Nick rather than on the actual content of the meeting.
When the meeting ended and Nick loosened his grip, Charlie shot up, creating some excuse about needing to finish an assignment he’d forgotten about. In actuality, he couldn’t imagine having to take his matchmaking quiz in the same vicinity as Nick; it felt a bit too masochistic. He hurried back to his room, emailing the quiz link to himself so he could fill it out on his laptop.
The quiz started with a short demographic section, where he could list his name and contact information as well as the gender(s) he was hoping to be matched with. He almost wanted to check the “other” option and just put “Nick Nelson” in the “please elaborate” box.
But, alas, he chose “men” and resigned himself to his Nick-less fate.
None of the questions went too deep, asking more about hobbies and interests than core values. But that was fine with Charlie; much of the wind had been knocked from his sails at the reality of this matchmaking situation. He had no idea what the algorithm would actually do with his answers, but the chances of it pairing him with Nick were too low to even place hope upon.
Charlie hit submit on his answers after hesitating for probably too long, scared for it all to be real. A generic thank you message popped up informing him that he would get his actual results soon.
Normally, he’d be spending his nights somewhere with Nick, but he’d run off so quickly after the meeting that that didn’t seem to be the plan for tonight. But as soon as he settled onto his bed, ready to spend the night binging some dumb show, a knock sounded at his door.
“Um. Hello?”
“Char? Open up, it’s me.”
Charlie’s stomach somersaulted as he bounded out of bed and wrenched open his door. Nick stood hulking in the small door frame, a sheepish smile on his face. “I was sitting alone in my room all bored because you ran off, but then I realized it would be more fun to sit in your room while you worked on your assignment. I’ll be quiet, promise. I just like being near you.”
So many thoughts swirled in Charlie’s head, the loudest ones sounding too similar to kiss me and I love you. He pushed those down with all his willpower and instead blurted out: “Char?”
Nick laughed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Sorry, it just kind of slipped out.”
“I… I liked it. It’s cute.”
“You’re cute.” Nick beamed. “So… can I come in?”
“Oh!” Charlie stepped aside, letting Nick enter. Their hands brushed as he passed by, sparks all but shooting out between them.
“How’s your assignment going?” Nick plopped down on the floor, leaning his back against Charlie’s bed, legs stretched out so he almost touched the wall.
Charlie delicately stepped over Nick’s legs and sat on the other side of him. “Oh, um, it was quick. Just a short reflection thing. So. I finished it.”
“And you didn’t call me to hang out? I’m wounded!” Nick knocked their shoulders together playfully, unaware of the zings of electricity that ricocheted through Charlie at the contact.
“Maybe I was just about to. Or maybe you’re more co-dependent than I am.”
Nick gave an affronted gasp. “I can leave.”
He made to stand, but Charlie grabbed his hand to pull him back down. “No, please stay. I like when you’re here.”
Nick sat back down and tilted his head at Charlie, pulling their still clasped hands to rest on his lap. “I like being here.”
Charlie was sure all of his feelings were plain on his face. “Wanna watch something?”
“Sure.”
Reaching up, Charlie grabbed his computer, pulling it down to rest on his knees. Unfortunately, he hadn’t closed out of the submit screen from the quiz, and Nick got a full view of the page before he could click away.
“Oh, yeah. I, uh, did mine too. Kind of basic, huh?” Nick’s voice was rough, as if the words had to fight their way out.
“Yeah. Um. I don’t really have high hopes.”
“You don’t think this quiz made by a twenty year old will find you your one true love?” There was something just under Nick’s joking tone, something solemn and almost scared. Charlie chose to ignore it.
“I suppose it could.” Nick’s face fell almost imperceptibly. “But I think I’d prefer a bit more of a say in the matter, you know?”
“Were you hoping for a box to put your wishlist of men?”
I did consider putting my gender preference as just Nick Nelson.
“I’m not sure they could convince Henry Maddox to come to our silly little Valentine’s Day ball.”
“Oi!” They shared a laugh, a lot of the tension dissipating. “I kind of just wish we’d had more of a choice. Like, we didn’t have to do the quiz in order to go.”
“Same.”
Maybe without the quiz, Charlie would have worked up the nerve to ask Nick to go with him, even just as friends. Maybe that could have been the start of something for them. Instead, Charlie would have to watch Nick spend the night charming someone else while navigating an unwanted date of his own.
To dispel those thoughts, Charlie busied himself with finding something for them to watch. Nick was no help, shooting down every suggestion Charlie gave with a playful sigh.
“You’re making this difficult.”
Nick smirked. “You know what I want.”
Charlie gave a defeated sigh. “Fine.”
Nick had been trying to get Charlie to watch Schitt’s Creek since almost immediately after they met, insisting it was the best show he’d ever seen. They’d watched the pilot, and Charlie decided he wasn’t a fan.
“It gets better, I promise! You can’t judge it off episode one!” Nick had exclaimed, collapsing over Charlie’s lap as Charlie navigated them towards a different show.
And now, as Charlie felt his chances with Nick slipping ever so slowly away, it seemed like a solid way to keep him around. No matter what, even when Nick had some partner who is his perfect match and he couldn’t spend everyday with Charlie anymore, they’d at least have six seasons to finish together.
Charlie brought up the show and settled the laptop between the two of them. They had to sit close in order to both view the screen, and even then it was still almost too small. But Charlie couldn’t make himself care all that much, not when Nick slung his arm around Charlie’s shoulders to pull him close, his laughter rumbling against Charlie’s rib cage as they watched.
Thoughts of Nick doing this with an actual partner crept their way into Charlie’s mind, bruising his hopes and chipping away at his fantasies. He snuggled his head into Nick’s shoulder to ground himself, sopping up all the proximity he could get. Nick tightened his hold on Charlie’s shoulders.
🍂
As the night ticked away until it was no longer night, Nick and Charlie stayed on the floor watching the tiny laptop screen, so close it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. And maybe that’s how it actually was: they couldn’t actually be separated from each other, not truly. Or, at least, that’s what Charlie let himself believe as his cheek rested just below Nick’s jaw, heat from his blush warming them both.
“Char?” Nick’s voice cut through the sleepy haze surrounding Charlie, so comfortable and content being this close to Nick.
He blinked his eyes a few times and turned his head to burrow into Nick’s shoulder. “Hm?”
Nick chuckled lightly, shaking both him and Charlie. “It’s almost 2 am. I probably need to leave.”
“No,” Charlie whined petulantly, too tired and dazed to censor himself.
“I don’t want to, believe me. But I should.” Nick ran this hand slowly up and down Charlie’s arm.
Charlie raised his head to pout at Nick. “Why do you hate me?”
Nick inhaled sharply through his nose and swallowed thickly. “I definitely don’t hate you, Charlie. Far from it. If you really want me to stay, I will.”
“Stay with me,” Charlie mumbled as he threw an arm over Nick’s stomach and shifted to cuddle into his chest. Had he been just a bit more awake, he’d never be so boldly affectionate, but the haze of sleepiness was closing in on him, and he couldn’t deny his base desires any longer.
“Always.” It was quiet, so low that Charlie wondered if maybe he imagined it.
Charlie readjusted his head on Nick’s chest, finding the most comfortable positioning. “Your heart is beating so fast.”
“Mm. S-sorry.”
“No, I like it. I like knowing you’re alive. I like that you’re alive.”
Nick made a choked noise, somewhere between a cough and a sigh. “I like knowing you’re alive too. You may be my favourite part of being alive.”
“I hate that dumb quiz,” Charlie whispered as sleep finally took over.