Work Text:
It was a nice day. The sun was shining peacefully through the windows, the birds were chirping softly outside, and everything was-
"Scarlet...."
She glanced up from her book, wondering if she had only imagined her name being called. After a moment of silence, she shrugged and continued reading. But once again...
"Scarlet..." The voice called again, a little louder this time.
"What?" She called out, growing increasingly frustrated. There was now no denying the source of the voice. After a moment, the voice responded, sounding sad and desperate.
"Could you c'mere please?"
"Oh for the love of- fine!" She yelled back, closing her book with a snap before standing and making her way to the kitchen, the source of the mysterious wailing.
"Algernon, what on earth could this be-" But her voice died down as she assessed the situation in front of her. Because standing there in the middle of the kitchen was Colonel Algernon "Mustard" Cornelius the third himself, and his hand was stuck in a cookie jar.
She failed to contain her laughter- not that she tried to, anyways. Mustard groaned, trying to hide his face in shame and humiliation.
"It ain't funny, Miss Scarlet! Help me out!" Scarlet took deep breaths, straightening out and wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Oh my god, Algernon, how did this even happen??"
"Listen, can't a guy try to get a snack around here? The- the jar was too dang small, okay? It's not my fault!" He defended, stumbling over his own words.
"Anyways, just- do somethin' about it, please?" Miss Scarlet rolled her eyes, taking hold of his imprisoned hand to get a grasp on the situation.
"Well, it's stuck on there pretty good. We might need to break it." All the color drained from Mustard's face in a heartbeat.
"Now wait a minute! What do you gotta break my hand for?! Is it that bad??" He asked, panicking. Miss Scarlet just stared at him, a dumbfounded look on her face. He couldn't really be this dumb, could he?
"Honestly, Colonel- I meant the jar. And anyways, I was just kidding. Here." She pulled pulled the relieved Colonel over to the fridge, removing a stick of butter.
"Now, hey, what's that- Yowza, that's cold!!" He exclaimed as she began spreading some of the butter on his stuck hand.
"Oh calm down Algernon, I'm trying to help you. Three, two..." She quickly pulled on the jar, causing Mustard to jump in surprise. Thankfully, it slid off without much issue.
"One." She said with a grin, as Mustard rubbed his sore wrist with a frown on his face.
"There. You okay?" She asked.
"Thanks Miss Scarlet, you're the best. And, well, I'm okay, but..."
"But...?" She prompted, raising an eyebrow.
"But I still want a cookie!" The colonel said, physically pouting like a toddler. Miss Scarlet had never facepalmed so hard in her life.
"Oh my god. Just... hold out your hands." She said, tipping the jar over and shaking a few cookies into Mustard's butter-coated palms.
His face lit up like a christmas tree as he happily popped one into his mouth.
"Thanks, Miss Scarlet!" He said again, a few stray crumbs flying out of his mouth.
"Don't mention it. To anyone. Ever," She stated, backing away in disgust. "I'm going back to my book. You... enjoy yourself, Colonel." She walked away, leaving the colonel munching happily by himself.