Chapter Text
It’s dawn. Xavier could tell even with the thick fog engulfing Avalor.
It’s thanks to his disciplined schedule. Ever since he enrolled in the Monastery Academy in his teenage days, he always wakes up at precisely 4:45 to prepare for the morning prayer at the Main Hall of the Church, a session that he often leads with the archbishop's blessing.
He dutifully followed that schedule for many years until it became a habit he could not quit. Even after the Free Smiths Guild happened, he still followed that routine. Xavier hated it and tried to break himself out of it but always failed. He remained alert at this hour. His body refused to be put back to sleep.
So, he resigned to his habit and decided to just fill the peace and quiet of the dawn by keeping himself busy. Not praying, of course. He decided just to cook breakfast, especially since now he has three extra mouths to feed, and they’re in one of the Paxley’s House kitchens, where utensils are complete and groceries are plenty. Since they were on the run, it’s been a while since Xavier could cook whatever he wanted with various ingredients.
His mind automatically wondered why Aamon Paxley kept his safe house well-stocked. Dried meat and fruits, he could understand. But there are also fresh goods in the cabinets: eggs, fruits, milk, and cheese. It's all good and edible. He couldn’t imagine Aamon frequenting this house. It’s pretty far from Castle Aberleen. And even if he is, the almighty Aamon Paxley does not look like a man who would be comfortable in the kitchen. He doesn’t look like the type who would dirty his hands with something as trivial as cooking.
Xavier’s thoughts were interrupted when he arrived at the kitchen and saw Julian sitting on the dining chair, staring at the leftover grilled cheese from their dinner last night but not touching them.
Ah.
Julian must have been hungry. Like Xavier, he often is the first to wake up, just before dawn. He must have had a body clock set for an early schedule. After all, they’re both products of the Monastery of Light.
The red-headed boy’s eyes turned to him as Xavier entered the room. He straightened his back and raised his chin as if he were caught doing something he shouldn’t have done.
“Morning,” Xavier greeted him. “Eaten already?”
Julian glanced at him. “Waiting,” he said, voice just as flat as ever.
“Just eat, Julian. We don’t follow a strict schedule here, so you can be free and eat whenever you like.”
“Ravens eat at dawn,” Julian replied.
“No, you’re not raven anymore, and you can eat whenever,” Xavier sighed. Poor boy, he must not think of himself as his own person. He’s a soldier, a killing machine that must follow specific orders and rules to function. That’s what the Church must have told him over and over, to the point that the boy has no choice but to believe it.
It’s cruel to take away a child’s innocence and a person’s individuality like that.
And Xavier was a part of such a corrupt system.
No, he helped build that corrupt system.
Xavier felt a strong kick in his gut, and he felt sick as guilt turned into acid in his mouth. He shook his head, staring at Julian, who was still fixing a blank gaze on him as if he were waiting for an order.
He could still undo his mistake on Julian. He would. He must.
“Alright,” he said. “I’ll make breakfast now. What would you like to have today? Bread? Meat? Hmm, but that’s what we always have when we’re outside. Perhaps we can make something more complicated now while we have a good kitchen with plenty of food. Waffles sound nice. Or maybe ham and egg? Have you ever tried Pancakes? Do you even like sweets?”
Julian paused, staring at him intensely, something he often did when asked to make decisions or about his preferences.
Xavier tried again. “Have you tried something sweet?”
Julian considered the question for a few seconds, then nodded. “Honey, when sick.”
Another wave of pain and guilt hit Xavier, thinking how much more indulgence Julian was deprived of in his childhood. He cleared his throat and smiled. “Alright, I’ll make a little bit of everything then. He said, “Pancakes, waffles, oats, ham, and egg, too,” he said. “God knows when we will be able to cook properly like this. We might as well have another feast. We have a rough path ahead of us, after all. What do you think? We also have plenty of fruit to make juice from. Or do you prefer milk and honey for the drink?”
Xavier continued to talk about the food he could make, hoping to trigger Julian to say something. It feels wrong to pressure him, but Xavier felt uncomfortable in a shared silence with the redheaded boy. Because then, the guilt he tried to suppress will continue to creep back into his mind. Xavier owed this kid big time. He helped massacre Julian’s entire clan, after all. Xavier wants to make amends with him and pay his debt, and breakfast is among the favors he can afford.
“... I guess Melissa would appreciate a tea with a little peach because…”
“Strange,” Julian suddenly spoke.
Xavier paused and turned his eyes to Julian, who was staring at different kinds of cooking oil from below the cabinet. “Empty house. Many foods.”
Xavier blinked.
Did… Did Julian just try to make small talk?
Perhaps deciding that his small talk was too much, Julian closed his lips and sat back on the chair, his gaze avoiding Xavier’s. The blunet shook his head, waking himself from the mild heart attack he had just experienced and deciding to answer him before Julian thought it was inappropriate to talk without being permitted.
“Indeed,” he said. “I wonder if it’s just noble arrogance to stock so much food just in case they need it and throw it away when it’s rotten. These many stocks could feed an entire barrack well, isn’t that right?”
Julian nodded, but he was suddenly interrupted before saying a word.
“Or Aamon just stocked up just in case Natan comes back,” Yin, who had just entered the room when Xavier spoke, added. He yawned. One hand found his belly and scratched it absentmindedly. “I heard he say that he is expecting Natan to return and use the safe house. It’s only natural he keeps it well-stocked when expecting a guest, right?”
Xavier, who was going to scold him for interrupting Julian, raised his eyebrows instead. Huh, so someone as dense as Yin could pick that up, too? This morning is just full of surprises, isn’t it?
Upon realizing Xavier’s stare, Yin blinked in confusion. “What?”
“Nothing, it just surprises me that you picked that up.”
“Pick what up?” Yin asked again, still looking confused.
“About the lovebirds, silly,” Melissa joined in, bright and early, with her hair styled well and face fresh with makeup. Natan and the Duke together, duh. Gotta admit, it surprised me too that you, of all people, could see that they’re a couple. Huh, I wonder if it makes the Duke bearable the entire time. Because he finally got laid.”
When Yin replied again, Xavier barely got the time to be surprised by Melissa’s words.
“Wait, why so surprised? Isn’t it obvious? I mean, Wanwan does that all the time. She often puts food in my hideout every day. Some of them are just pranks, not actually edible. But there’s always something for me. She even packed me food when I was leaving for Lumina City. I just thought it was the same… right? Are they not together? Am I wrong?”
Melissa laughed. “Your girlfriend pranks you every day? That’s awesome,” she said as she took a peanut butter jar and spooned it with her finger. “Now I really really wanna see your girlfriend. I think we’ll get along fine.”
Yin perked up, far too excited by the prospect of Melissa and this Wanwan girl meeting, and he completely missed Melissa’s implication that she wanted to prank Yin together with Wanwan. “Oh yeah, you should visit Cadia when this ends, Mel. I’ll introduce you to Wanwan! I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you too! And oh, oh, you know, who else would be thrilled to see you? Zilong! He’s so serious all the time, but he likes Wanwan so he will like you too. Oh, and there’s also Baxia…”
Yin continued to talk about his homeland while Melissa chirped in every now and then, poking fun at Yin and even dragging Julian into the conversation. Julian seemed slightly bothered by how Melissa elbowed at his rib or when the other two stared at him, waiting for his answer. But Xavier could see that Julian’s shoulders dropped, relaxing in the presence of the other teens.
It brought a smile to Xavier’s face. They’re amazing kids—a little bit of a handful, but their hearts are good. He was so thankful that he decided to go on a journey and help them instead of imprisoning them as the Monastery ordered him to.
But as Yin mentioned his hometown and stated that he couldn’t wait to return, only Xavier realized their journey had almost ended.
Yin had found a way to control Lieh’s consciousness. Last night, when Aamon helped him learn to coexist with Lieh, it was practically the end of this journey for Yin and the start of his new quest to master it. It’s an individual task that Yin could do just about. Yin does not need his help anymore. He could do it on his own, from his homeland.
As Yin’s quest is finally complete, so is Melissa’s. She was here mainly to help Yin, anyway. Now that it’s over, they could return to their respective homes: Yin to Cadia Riverlands and Melissa to Lumina City.
If they decide to leave, it will leave only Xavier with Julian. Even then, he imagined that their time together would not be long. After they entered Necrokeep and found Terizla, Julian would soon find the end of his journey, too. There’s no telling how Terizla would react to his presence; Xavier had seen how prison broke the guy and had heard how ruthless the gentle blacksmith turned out to be after his imprisonment. There’s a high probability that the man wouldn’t remember his son at all.
But still, Julian would find his closure.
If Terizla accepted him, then the father and the son would rebuild their lives, and they would probably retreat to a life far away from where the Abyss or the Monastery could reach them.
If Terizla’s broken mind denied Julian, the boy would probably return to the church. For all he knows, Julian's status was “missing”. Not a fugitive like the rest of them. If he returned there, there would be no doubt that the church would accept him.
Xavier couldn’t imagine what the church would do to him, though. Placing him back in the corrupted system sounds cruel, but living as a fugitive forever sounds just as bad. Julian should return as soon as possible before being labeled as a heretic and captured as a traitor.
Regardless, their journey would come to an end. The kids would go back to their lives.
While Xavier couldn’t.
He had thrown the life he knew behind him for the sake of his journey. His purpose was to help these kids find their goals. He was so fixated that he did not even think where he would go or what to do after everything ended.
He couldn’t go back to church. It was clear as day. Even if, by some sick miracle, his mind got corrupted in their journey and he forgot about his absolute hatred towards the church, he could not go back there or to Lumina City. After all, he had broken the gate of the Monastery in pure defiance.
He also couldn’t go back to his home. The Monastery must have had his parents under their watch. He couldn’t endanger them and the peaceful life they have built just like that.
He would drift across the land all alone.
A low price to pay for these kids’ happiness and to redeem his sins.
“… So, Xavi, tell us. Who do you think fell in love first, Natan or The Duke?”
Melissa’s question nudged him from his musing. He furrowed his brows. How did the talks about Cadia Riverlands turn back to the Duke and the spacewalker?
But he decided not to ask, and instead, he only shook his head, a smile brewing on his lips. “So, which would you like, maple syrup or butter?”