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Idia sighed and stared at his computer screen. Discord had been open for the past few hours, but he hadn’t been able to sum up the courage to send the message.
Crimson Muscle-shi…
What was he going to do? What would his best (online) friend think of him if he found out…
His fingers flexed over the keyboard, and he shakily began to type.
gh0stsamurai: hey
Crimson Muscles: You’ve been silent for quite a while. Everything alright?
Idia wanted to cry. Of course Crimson Muscles would see something was off!!
gh0stsamurai: ya just dealing w some news
Idia leaned back and pressed his palms against his eyes. His life had been so perfect - he had a nice house with a figure room, a stable career doxxing teenagers on the internet, and the limited edition Miku Hatsune figurine coming in the mail. Only 5,000 had been made!! If Azul hadn’t pulled the strings for him…
But this was the crux of the problem, wasn’t it? Like always, everything always ended up leading to Azul.
—
“What are you doing after graduation?”
“Eh?” Idia’s hand froze over his knight. What kind of a question was that? “What do mean?”
“Exactly what I said.” Azul pushed his glasses up with his middle finger. “We graduate college in 2 months. You can’t exactly use that Catgirl Studies major in real life. The job market is unsustainable.”
Idia shrugged and tapped his piece across the board. “Dunno. There’s a Legend of League’s esports team now. Maybe I’ll try for that.”
“You have to go to the big events in person.”
“Watchover changed their rules.”
“Different companies.” Azul frowned, and knocked one of Idia’s pawns away with his rook. “You can’t sustain your habits on your own. You have too many ‘best girls’.”
Idia scowled. He had put off thinking about Adult Life this long, what was a little longer? Azul, seemingly reading his thoughts, continued. “I’ll have to be going back to the Coral Sea.”
“What?” Idia’s head jerked up, and the flames trailing down his back flared up like an angry cat. “B-But — the Mostro Lounge! Our DnD campaign!”
“I need a green card.” Azul kept his eyes trained on the game. “And you need funding. I make more than enough for more than one person, you know.”
“…Er…” Idia chewed on his lower lip for a moment. “You… Are you —“
“Proposing marriage? Perhaps.” Azul smirked. “It would be advantageous for both of us. Everyone else that would be a possible candidate for a green card marriage is already in a relationship, and you have the most to lose post-graduation. It makes sense.”
Idia thought about it. It did, in some way, make sense - his college fund was almost out, and Haruna’s limited birthday banner was right after finals. He’d be almost unable to whale for it if he ran out. And surprise events usually did drop the best loot…
He shrugged. “Sure. It’d be pretty cringe to be a single NEET after college, anyway. Can’t become one of those basement dwelling statistics, right?”
Azul politely didn’t mention that Idia already lived in a basement, though it was Azul’s, not Idia’s parent’s. “That’s check in three.”
“Fuck.”
—
And it had all gone so well!! They had gotten married, along with which Idia got health insurance and could finally treat the myriad of diseases his lifestyle had wrought, and amazing tax benefits. Idia had moved out of the basement to sleep next to Azul to help pass their fake marriage a bit better, and sleeping with an IRL person and not just a body pillow with a heat pad in it was pretty pog. And after a while, sex had just seemed natural. It was better than just masturbating, after all, and it turned out they were pretty compatible in kinks. The tentacles were especially fun. They had been married for almost fifteen years now, and everything had been going swimmingly… Until recently.
Azul had been leaving for work, just like every morning. On the way out, he paused, and leaned over the couch to give Idia a kiss, like every morning. And then he had left. Idia had frozen and stared after him in horror. Azul-shi… He had….!
The ping of a Discord notification shook Idia out of his thoughts. Crimson Muscle had followed up.
Crimson Muscle: Feel free to share if you need to.
Idia let out a shaky breath, and raised his fingers to his keyboard again.
gh0stsamurai: its my husband
gh0stsamurai: just relationship problems
gh0stsamurai: kinda lame sorry lolz
Crimson Muscles: Oh, no. Is everything alright?
gh0stsamurai: idk
gh0stsamurai: its just
gh0stsamurai: he kissed me today and it was dif
gh0stsamurai: he forgot to say no homo
gh0stsamurai: and its like
gh0stsamurai: o no
gh0stsamurai: is he gay for real
gh0stsamurai: sometimes he forgets to say it when we fuck n our balls touch
gh0stsamurai: but this is totally new
gh0stsamurai: crimson muscles….
Another deep breath.
gh0stsamurai: how am gonna tell our children his dad is a faggot?