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1
“Our tracking leads us to this junction. The informant told me that we’d find Mary here.” Lilith points to the map.
“Be careful. Remember that your safety is the priority.” Ava says as she looks over the team. “We are here for our family, and we won’t leave without it.”
Beatrice smiles, appreciating the encouraging words. Pride swells in her chest as she witnesses Ava’s progress in filling in her role.
As soon as they enter the street, the lamp above her head flickers before turning off. Beatrice squints in the eerie darkness. The three of them are trailing behind Ava and there’s an unsettling inkling brewing in the pit of her stomach. Her mind is telling her this is a trap. There’s no way they’ll find anything here when it’s quieter than normal, abnormally so. They’ve been watching this place for almost a week, and this is the first time it’s been pitch black, all lights switched off for a purpose.
She spots it before she can open her mouth. Beatrice gasps, reacting purely out of instinct and grabs Ava by her jacket to tug her back behind her. The darkness had hidden the Tarask that sneaks up on them but now the red eyes are drilling into theirs. This is a planned ambush. Beatrice tries to search for Camila and Lilith, sighing in relief when she makes out their retreating figures towards the alley they came from.
Behind her, Ava breathes heavily, nervously shuffling on her feet.
“We can take it. It’s not going to be here for long anyway.” Ava declares. She takes a step forward, trying to come around Beatrice but she blocks the way.
There are more, she realises. More red eyes staring back at them. They won’t be able to fight them all, not with just two of them here. And knowing Ava, she’s about to do something reckless in the next few seconds. So, Beatrice does the only thing that comes to her mind.
She runs.
Threading her fingers through Ava’s, Beatrice runs the opposite way. Protests are tumbling out of Ava’s mouth but she’s too focused on getting her to safety. Getting them both to safety. The Tarask is hot on their heels. Just a few more seconds to hold it off. Beatrice counts in her head – one, two, three, four, five. It disappears.
“Holy shit. Bea, you run too fast.” Ava hunches over, trying to catch her breath.
“I’m not sure if we’re in the clear yet. Do you think you can make it to the van?” Beatrice gently pulls Ava closer once she stands up. Their hands are still interlocked and it’s the last thing she wants to focus on at the moment.
Ava releases a shaky breath and offers a cheeky smile. “Will you carry me if I say no?”
Beatrice grumbles under her breath, avoiding Ava’s eyes. Knows that if she spends any longer looking at her, her defences will crumble.
“You seem like you can walk fine.” Beatrice sniffs, trying to let go of Ava’s hand but she strengthens her grip.
(They don’t let go until they’re in the van, Lilith pointing it out blatantly when they take a seat)
2
Ava slams the door as she exits Vincent’s office. Beatrice winces, watching as Ava hurries away from everyone. The anger radiating off her is unlike anything she’s been privy to before. Beatrice shares a concerned glance with Camila and Lilith, unaware of what to do.
“Beatrice, I suggest you go and see her. If anyone can settle her emotions, it is you.” Mother Superion offers advice before walking away.
Her words take Beatrice by surprise, unsure about its meaning. Surely, she can’t have that much of an influence on Ava. She’s always been stubborn with anyone telling her what to do, regardless of who it is.
“I don’t know what to do.” Beatrice thinks out loud.
“Well, maybe check on Ava before she wreaks havoc?” Lilith winces as she hears a few explosions. Some nuns come running out of the training area. “Now.”
Beatrice clambers off her seat and hurries along down the corridor. Her thoughts are running a thousand miles a minute trying to conjure anything of significance. She skids to a stop when she spots Ava, halo glowing brightly in one of the rooms.
“Ava─”
She stumbles back as Ava unleashes her powers, shouting as she sends furniture careening into the walls. She collapses to her knees, shoulders hunched, defeated. Beatrice has never seen Ava like this.
If anyone can settle her emotions, it is you.
Mother Superion’s words echo in her ears, urging Beatrice to move. She takes tentative steps towards Ava, exhaling shakily.
“Bea, you can’t be here right now.” Ava’s voice cracks, laced with exhaustion of a different kind. One, that seems so familiar to Beatrice, a reflection of her own self before the OCS.
For a moment, Beatrice’s confidence wavers and she falters. She shakes her head and pushes on. Right now, more than anything else, Ava needs someone in her corner. Beatrice comes around and crouches in front of Ava and her heart aches as she witnesses the sight before her. The pain is evident, shining in Ava’s watery eyes. She takes Ava’s hands in her own, squeezing reassuringly.
“Whatever he said, please don’t take it to heart.” Ava’s shoulders tense up as Beatrice begins to talk.
“You have no idea. The things he said Bea─” Ava chokes on her words as her emotions take over. Beatrice is quick to brush away the tears with the pad of her thumb, lingering on her cheek.
“Come here.” Beatrice wraps her arms around Ava, rubbing soothing circles on her back. She despises seeing her family hurt but seeing Ava hurt is shredding the last strands of her patience. “I want you to know that we have your back. We are proud of you and how you’re progressing through your training. Camila is smitten with you and your dedication to wanting to be badass. Lilith is almost seeing you as an equal.”
Ava laughs wetly at the mere comparison. She leans her head against Beatrice’s shoulder when she pulls back. Beatrice can sense the wheels turning in her head. She quietens her thoughts, threading their fingers together and keeping them in her lap. Ava looks up at her, surprised by the movement but smiles a heartbeat later.
“And what about you?” Ava whispers. “How do you feel?”
“Hmm? Me?” Beatrice absentmindedly asks. She’s too distracted with the way Ava’s playing with their fingers. “I wouldn’t trade anything in the world to be here with you.”
3
“I’m starting to think this was a terrible idea. Maybe it’s meant to be a punishment.” Ava huffs as they step out of their apartment.
Beatrice rolls her eyes, refusing to refute her wild claims. They’ve been in Switzerland for almost a month now and Ava is struggling to warm up to the place. She whines each time she leaves their apartment, whines when they have to go to work, and she whines when Beatrice doesn’t buy her favourite hot chocolate at the café down the road.
“You know, this is exactly why I told you that you need to buy a jacket. You can’t propose that this is punishment just because you’re cold.” Beatrice slides off her puffer, biting back a smile at the grin that’s plastered on Ava’s face when it’s handed to her.
Her weakness against Ava will be undoing one day. She shivers again, taking tiny steps as the wind hits her face brutally. Beatrice unravels her neck scarf before wrapping it around Ava. Her nose is reddening by the minute.
“Can we get my hot chocolate now?” Ava’s voice is muffled as she snuggles against the scarf.
“As long as you explain to Hans why we’re late.” Beatrice walks towards the café.
“I can just tell him my manager assigned me to do a personal task with her.” Ava replies smugly.
Beatrice scoffs at her suggestion and her blatant abuse of power. She’s only been a manager for a week and Ava’s planned out her first lie. Does she want to know what else she’ll think of in the future? She’s not that sure if she should head down that path.
Their hands brush against each other and Beatrice inhales sharply, pausing to glare at Ava. “We are going shopping after work today. Need to get you a jacket, a beanie, a scarf and gloves. Your hands are like ice!”
Ava offers her a sheepish smile, swaying from side to side. She’ll probably have to go on her own someday because there’s no way Ava would brave the cold like this. Beatrice cradles Ava’s hands in her own, blowing on them with hopes they’ll warm up even a little bit.
(She doesn’t realise Ava’s giving her that look again)
She realises soon enough that it’s not making much of an impact. Instead, Beatrice covers Ava’s right hand and places it inside her pocket. “Please don’t take your hands out of the pockets.”
“It’s my favourite customers!” The old lady at the counter greets them with utmost enthusiasm as soon as they enter. They’ve become regulars due to Ava’s consistent visits. Beatrice is entirely aware they’re not solely for the drink, but she doesn’t point it out. Not when Ava is radiating with happiness that could even make the sun jealous.
She remains silent as she watches the exchange. She admires the way Ava’s eyes light up when she talks about the patrons who visit her at their bar. She admires the way Ava rocks on her heels when she’s gushing about what she wants to trial out making next. She admires the way Ava never stops smiling, extra cute with the scarf around her neck.
When Ava turns towards her, spotting Beatrice’s gaze on her, she easily catches onto Ava’s flustered state. She stammers through the rest of her sentence, the tips of her ears dusted with pink.
“You two should come by more often. Heaven knows you’re a sweeter pair than any of my desserts.” The old lady laughs as she returns behind the counter.
4
“I’m sick of this Bea. Everyone expects so much of me and no one fails to consider the burden I have resting on my shoulders!” Ava slams the door of her room open. The lightning and thunder outside are no match for her anger.
“The superiors are restless, Ava. This isn’t about just the OCS anymore. There are people Vincent answers to. We’re all trying to delay this as much as we can. We’re trying to keep you away from the Wraiths and the Tarasks.” Beatrice exasperatedly attempts to explain.
“What that means is that they don’t think I can do it, right? As if I haven’t been working my ass off to practice and to be able to handle these powers.” Ava scoffs, sitting down on her bed.
“No, that’s not what it means. If anything, you know the three of us have your back. We always have faith in you. We always will. We know you’re more than capable of doing anything on your own.” Beatrice sits on her knees in front of Ava. She interlocks their fingers, brushing her thumb across Ava’s hand reassuringly.
“I never asked for this. I didn’t expect to have powers or to have a moron’s halo shoved into my back.” Ava’s anger dissipates, quickly morphing into sadness. “I only just got part of my life back. Why can’t I have a part of it for myself?”
Beatrice sighs softly, lost for words. Nothing she says will be enough.
“We can go back to the Alps?” Ava suggests meekly. “You can go back to being a manager and no one will find us there. It’ll just be you and me Bea, no one else’s lives at risk.”
“That… it’s not possible.” Beatrice shakes her head. “There are strict orders.”
As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Beatrice knows it’s the biggest mistake she’s made. The hurt that flickers in Ava’s eyes crush her heart. She opens her mouth to rectify the situation that’s quickly unravelling out of her reach. Instead, Ava pulls her hands out of Beatrice’s grip, increasing the distance between them.
She moves to her wardrobe, haphazardly throwing clothes into a duffle bag.
“Ava, what are you doing?” Beatrice’s heart is about to drop, unable to predict what is going through Ava’s mind.
Her question is ignored, and she makes a move to grab Ava’s hand.
“Don’t.” Ava whispers. The pain in her voice is unlike anything Beatrice has heard before. This isn’t how the conversation was meant to go. “You’ve always stood by me with all of my choices Bea. Why is this the only time you draw the line?”
Beatrice trails after Ava as she hurries out of the room. She’s doing this on purpose, she realises. Because Ava can easily phase through these walls and disappear in a matter of seconds.
“I’m not drawing any lines. I’m afraid of the consequences of our actions.” Beatrice tries to reason.
Ava speeds up, exiting the gates. She dumps her bag under the shelter as she whips around to face Beatrice. “And if I told you that I’d take the blame? What would you do then?”
The rain is pelting on the two of them as they stand in the middle of the courtyard. It’s falling harder than before. Beatrice wipes the water off her face. “You know that I’d follow you anywhere if I could Ava. This life, my duties, that’s all I know. It’s all I’ve been taught.”
“When will you live your life for you Bea? What do you want to do?” Ava demands. The weight of her words settle uncomfortably beneath Beatrice’s chest.
She fails to answer, and Ava shakes her head, walking away. Her eyes burn as she tries to keep her tears at bay. What does she want to do? Beatrice has never had the pleasure to consider her own feelings, thoughts. It’s always been someone else who’s told her how to act or what to do. She’s lost things in her life, yet nothing can hold a candle to this.
Ava?
Beatrice can’t lose her.
Not when her entire world is Ava.
She runs towards Ava, quickly erasing the distance between them. Beatrice reaches for Ava’s hand, pulling her back. She rests it against her own chest as she tries to catch her breath.
“I’m sorry, I’m terrible with expressing how I feel. If I do this, you’re going to have to be patient with me too.” Beatrice’s heart is thundering in her ears. “I don’t know how to make choices for me, Ava. But I do know that I don’t want to lose you. Whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, I just need to be with you.”
Ava laughs tearily, Beatrice following too. They lean forward, resting their foreheads against each other, disregarding the pouring rain. It seems fitting.
“You’ve been patient with me for so long. I can do the same too.” Ava reassures.
Her gaze flits between Beatrice’s eyes and her lips. This time as well, Beatrice knows Ava’s mind is running in circles. This time, Beatrice chooses to listen to her heart. She gently pulls Ava, kissing her softly. It shifts rapidly, Ava teasingly nipping at Beatrice’s lower lip as they become impossibly closer.
As Ava breaks away from the kiss, Beatrice follows, chasing for more. “I want this just as much as you, but I feel like if we spend more time in the rain, both of us will potentially be sick.” She plants a peck on Beatrice’s lips as they walk to the shelter.
(Beatrice refuses to let go of Ava’s hand)
5
“Don’t tell me that you won’t enjoy it anyway.” Camila quips, sliding in the last pin into Ava’s hair. “You’re going undercover as a couple when you’re already a couple. The easiest mission you’ve ever undertaken.”
“There’s a lot at risk here too, you know. If this doesn’t go as we planned, lives are at risk.” Ava drums her fingers on her knee.
“Then it’s good that today is just about making an appearance. Just have some fun, unwind and return. It’s a simple mission. What has you so worked up?” Camila furrows her eyebrows.
“It’s her saving Beatrice complex.” Lilith butts into their conversation from the doorway. She raises her eyebrows as if challenging Ava to deny the claim, but it isn’t a lie.
“Her what now?” Beatrice is confused with the direction of the conversation as she walks in behind Lilith.
She watches on as Camila and Lilith share a glance. What is that meant to mean? Beatrice is eager to find out, but her attention is diverted to Ava. She’s picking at her nails, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. This is a side of her she’s witnessed a handful of times over the past month, especially. With careful steps, Beatrice sits beside her, taking her hand into her own. Ava visibly relaxes, resting her head on Beatrice’s shoulder.
Her grip on their interlocked hands tightens. Beatrice simply holds her close, gives Ava the time to word out her thoughts. They promised to be patient with each other and that will always be the priority.
“I’m scared, Bea.” Ava mumbles. “I want to do this right, but I’ve screwed up so many of these missions. I can’t lose anyone.”
“We’re still here with you, taking every step with you, supporting you. If there’s even one thing that’s suspicious, Lilith and Camila will alert us. I have faith in you. We have faith in you. This is going to go smoothly.” Beatrice cups Ava’s cheeks, planting a tender kiss on her forehead.
There are things she doesn’t say. Things that everyone already knows because of course, she’d risk anything for Ava. She always has and she always will. Even though the sense of dread in her stomach is a constant these days. Beatrice hates that it’s almost like what she has with Ava is borrowed time.
(The mission goes sideways)
Beatrice has one of Camila’s arms around her shoulder, Ava on her other side. This wasn’t how things were meant to go. There are too many wounds to cover.
“The surgeon is on standby. We have to hurry. She’s lost a lot of blood.” Beatrice informs Lilith as soon as they’re in the van. The conflict in her eyes is a clear sign and she carefully guides Lilith, seating her beside Ava. “You can take over from Ava. We’re going to be at the front.”
“This is my fault. I knew things were going to go sideways.” Ava clenches her fists as the emotions take over.
Beatrice refuses to let her take this as a failure. Refuses to let her feel guilty about this when they’d all been blindsided. She faces Ava, covering her fists with her own. She exhales as Ava opens her hand, allowing Beatrice to slot their fingers together.
“Darling, listen to me.” Beatrice tilts Ava’s chin up, tenderly cradling it. “We all made our own choices tonight. If you were in Camila’s shoes, you would do the same. Rationality seems to be our weak point when it involves the people we love. Lilith was at risk, so Camila followed her heart.”
Her words chip away at Ava’s guilt, and she allows herself to relax in Beatrice’s arms. They’ll get through this too, she knows it. Beatrice sighs softly as she winds herself around Ava, running her free hand gently across her back.
+1
Standing across from the crowd, Ava takes the chance to soak in the moment. The happiness radiates from every single person in the room. This is different. It’s pure. It’s unadulterated. This is her family. Ava’s heart is filled to the brim with love for them. She smiles, now appreciating the choices she’s made that’s allowed them to reach this point in their lives.
She looks to her fingers, admiring the recent addition. At first, the weight of the ring had been a little unsettling. But now, Ava panics if it’s not on her finger all the time. Even though Beatrice suggested to wear it as a necklace when they’re out on missions, Ava prefers it this way. It reminds her to make a few less chaotic decisions with the love of her life by her side.
Warmth surrounds her as a familiar set of arms encircle her waist. Ava leans back, resting her head on Beatrice’s shoulder. She absentmindedly runs her thumb across Beatrice’s inner wrist, drawing comfort from her safe place. Ava closes her eyes, sways slowly.
“I still find it hard to believe that they beat us to it.” Beatrice grumbles, scrunching up her nose as they watch the happy couple.
“You’re the one who told me that Camila follows her heart and Lilith is spontaneous. Are you really that surprised they got married before us?” Ava chuckles. She turns around, letting go hesitantly to press a kiss against her cheek.
No matter how many times she does it, Ava is always blessed with the sight of reddening cheeks and a flustered Beatrice that is so precious.
The music changes and Ava has this brilliant idea. She remembers Switzerland, dancing with an inebriated Beatrice and it’s been too long since they’ve done that again. Ava exaggeratedly bows, offering her hand to her fiancée.
“Can I have this dance?” Ava grins cheekily. The corners of Beatrice’s mouth twitch and Ava knows it’s because she’s trying to stop herself from smiling.
Beatrice rolls her eyes but slides her hand through Ava’s. They make their way to the dance floor, friends cheering them on. Ava focuses on Beatrice, admiring the way she laughs openly. She’s so in love with this woman, she can’t fathom considering a life with anyone else. Beatrice loops her arm around Ava, bringing them face to face.
Ava glances around. Everyone is slow dancing. Her only experience of this is through the movies she’s watched but she hopes she’s on the right track. She raises their interlocked hands, giggling as Beatrice looks at her with wonder. One step back, one step forward, to the side. She tries to be as smooth as she can despite struggling to regain her footing occasionally.
“Do they train you do dance at the OCS too?” Ava teases as they sway on the spot now. She rests her head on Beatrice’s shoulder.
“Actually, I had to be Lilith’s partner so she could learn the moves for her first dance. Thank you for not stepping on my toes as much as she did.” Beatrice’s laughter reverberates through Ava, warming up her insides.
She loves being in Beatrice’s arms more than anything in the world. When she distances herself to look her in the eyes, Ava is greeted with a sight that renders her speechless. It’s love that’s teeming, directed at her, only her. She leans on her tip toes, pressing her lips against Beatrice. Ava sinks into Beatrice’s arms, sighing softly as Beatrice cups her cheeks, sweeping her thumbs across them. It’s just as precious as every other kiss they’ve shared yet so much more. Ava digs her fingers into Beatrice’s hair, drawing out a sharp gasp.
Someone wolf whistles nearby and a proclamation of finally and some cheering. Ava already knows it’s Camila. She has the sense to pull away, albeit hesitantly. She grumbles under her breath before hiding her face in the crook of Beatrice’s neck. Hands are already on her waist, keeping her steady. Beatrice smiles at her, kissing her forehead.
“It’s almost as if it’s your wedding.” Lilith snorts.
“I mean, it will happen soon. And I can finally witness a part of your journey after calling it out ages ago.” Camila glares at the duo. She’s appeased by her wife with a quick kiss that Ava is extremely grateful for.
“You’ll be the first to know.” Ava salutes.
(And when they do have the ceremony, neither of them lets go of each other’s hand for the entirety of the program)