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The frigid early morning air tinges his fingertips red as he walks the streets of a city he will never return to.
As the rising sun peeks through the capital's mirrored buildings, it reflects everything in its path, creating a cobalt-hued attraction that Enzo wishes his heart was not a part of.
Sometimes Enzo wonders if dreams that are dreamt at night are also fulfilled, if it will be a long time before waking up no longer means returning to a reality in which Julián doesn’t belong to him, if maybe being reciprocated is expecting too much.
But he thinks he can't complain because the dream of his lifetime is right in front of him.
The sun is shining down on the grounds where he is training with the team he always wanted to be in, when the national team shirt was still too big for him and slipped off his scrawny shoulders, and together they are one step away from achieving what every Argentinian swears since he learns to speak.
To be crowned with glory.
...
When Enzo enters the building, he does so on his tiptoes, because this is their day off and the whole team sleeps until sundown, but Julián is still sitting there, in the same place he was when the younger left.
Julian smiles, because Enzo has a bag of treats in his hand as promised, and when he notices him shivering from the sudden change in temperature, he opens his arms and invites him into the nest once more.
—Come with me, he says softly, looking up at him from below, with those brown eyes that Enzo could never say no to.
Enzo feels in that moment, through the cracks of his broken heart, a breath of warmth enters.
He wishes he could control the way his train of thought feels like watching a climbing plant grow in fast motion, because then he wouldn't be thinking how close he is to losing Julián again, to seeing him walk away from home for the second time like he saw him leave El Monumental.
But there are things that Enzo still finds hard to accept.
Not having presented yet and his scent remaining neutral is one of them, but if Julian notices all those shirts Enzo pretends to forget in his room just so the whole team can see them on him every morning at breakfast to mark territory, he never says a word about it.
So Enzo goes into the nest and lies down, letting Julian climb onto his lap, rest his head on his chest and wrap his whole body around him, hiding his face in his neck, nuzzling the skin under his ear where Enzo wishes there was a scent invasive and strong enough to let him keep Julian forever, and he hears the omega tell him how being with him feels like being home again, that if he closes his eyes for a few seconds he can go back to River Plate, that it brings back memories he never wants to forget.
But this is enough, the younger thinks, because Julián lets him enter the nest he has built with clothes that seem to belong to the captain and his teammates, but also with all those shirts Enzo left behind. Then smiling is inevitable, and as he closes his eyes, he feels his heart calm down as well as Julian's breathing on his neck, until they both fall asleep, and silence returns to patrol the corridors of the training camp.
...
When the alarm wakes him up the next day, Enzo no longer has Julian in his arms, a scenario he should be used to by now, but it bothers him, because today the cold is more severe than it was yesterday, and a headache hits him when he tries to straighten up to get out of the nest.
The match coming up is the most important of them all and Enzo can't afford to miss training now that he's a starter, so he puts on the kit left in his place and prepares for another day on the pitch.
There waiting for him is his friend and everyday partner, Julián, who as always smiles at him when he sees him arrive and makes his heart skip a beat.
No one would understand.
—You look better.
—You look worse, he replies.
Enzo laughs, because he could tell him that he might have a cold from running out to buy him chocolates in the wee hours of the morning, but he chooses not to.
These are the moments Enzo wants to remember forever. He wants to keep deep in his memory the way Julian's smile rises to his eyes, the sound of his laughter when Enzo tries to take the ball away from him and fails, watching Julian run to him after scoring a goal as if he is the first person he thinks of when sharing his happiness.
Watching Julian sometimes feels like witnessing in real time a movie that hasn't even been written yet. It doesn't matter if those eyes never look back at him. It doesn’t matter if those eyes don't yet know that Enzo fell for them many seasons ago.
Julian stopped being his secret long ago, and he has now become the promise of something greater, perhaps too great to be kept with little fingers.
So, as they rest sitting side by side Enzo looks at his tattooed legs contrasting with Julian's white legs, and thinks that if at some point that skin bears a mark that is not his, he is willing to accept it. Because Enzo is willing to share Julian, to give up on him, if it means seeing him happy while keeping him close.
He doesn't want to be away from him anymore.
When Enzo feels his chest suddenly constrict, he thinks he's locked himself so deep in his own thoughts that he's now having a panic attack, because he can't breathe properly and his vision blurs, his skin burns so much that he starts to sweat, and the headache hits him even harder than the first time.
The voices and silhouettes approaching him are unrecognizable to him, and although some of his senses are completely null some others are heightened, and as he loses consciousness, he can hear the murmurs drifting away.
—He’s presenting, they say.
…
Enzo regains consciousness with a sore body and a dry mouth.
When he feels pulsations in his ears, he thinks they are coming from him until he realizes that what he hears are other people's heartbeats.
—Enzo, Rodrigo calls, as he approaches him with a damp cloth which he places over his forehead and a bottle of water from which he helps him drink.
Enzo slowly recognizes that the room he is in is Julian's room and that he is not alone. The captain and his companions watch him from the side near the door to avoid invading too much space.
Then he finally senses it — their scents.
They all have a specific and particular smell, and Enzo smiles, because despite that they also have something in common impregnated in them — the captain. Leo smells of the grass on the football pitch and the summer sea and everyone smells a little bit of him because everyone belongs a little bit to Leo and Leo belongs a little bit to everyone.
Enzo thinks he has never felt anything so peaceful, but his sense of smell sharpens as he regains full consciousness, and when Julian rushes into his room, pushing his way through all the intruders, a particular scent invades his nostrils, making his body respond under alert.
It smells of lemongrass and mint.
The younger boy looks up once more and finds Julian's brown eyes saturated with a concern he only expected to receive if he was ever seriously injured during a match.
His skin burns again as it did in the beginning and his breathing quickens as Julian's scent is obstructed by one stronger and more invasive and definitely foreign to Enzo.
—Cuti… stay away.
—I didn't come closer, he says.
—From Julian, the captain clarifies.
Enzo feels his gums prickle. He doesn't understand how his body reacts faster than his brain, but he stands up effortlessly, because even though the fever numbs his limbs the fury clouds each and every one of his senses, and he pulls Julian's arm until he hides him behind him like a human shield.
When Cuti tries to advance towards him Enzo bares his teeth and claws with a snarl that spreads throughout the entire building. The captain pulls the defender closer to him.
—Stop it, he's a newborn alpha, he's going to tear you apart!
—But Julián, he insists once more.
—Enzo is not going to hurt me, Julián whispers.
...
As the door closes the newborn alpha turns to face Julian and sees him standing helplessly at the side of the room, not looking up.
Enzo's fangs and claws immediately retract as he backs away slowly so as not to upset the omega.
—I didn't mean to scare you.
But if one of the two is afraid at that moment it's Enzo, because when he understands what's happening, he feels like he might have a full-blown panic attack, and it scares him to think of being in the same room with Julian when what is inevitably going to happen, happens.
His rut.
—You didn’t.
Julian's scent fades little by little and Enzo despairs, because now that he finally knows what his lover smells like he never wants to stop scensing it again, he wants that scent to stay forever in his memory, he wants it to permeate his skin so that everyone will know that he will always belong to Julián.
—I could call someone else if you want, he offers.
Enzo feels his body temperature rising as the minutes tick by, his hands sweating and his heart racing in anticipation, and he laughs. He laughs because he is nervous and the mere idea of someone else is absurd to him.
—There is no one else, he says, as if to state the most obvious thing in the world.
Isn’t it the most obvious thing in the world?
Julian's scent changes at the exact moment Enzo feels his rut hit him like a wave. It hurts so much that he has to drop to the floor on his knees and crawl to the side of the bed, clutching the sheets that smell of Julian between his hands, until his knuckles turn white and his eyes fill with tears.
—Julian… go away.
The omega calls him by his name once more. Enzo bares his teeth at him to make him back off, but predictably he doesn't, because if there's one thing Julian is sure of, it's that Enzo would never hurt him.
The alpha hides his face in his arms again as he looks down and tries not to inhale the hint of what appears to be omega slick.
—Tell me I've got it all wrong, Julián whispers as he kneels closer. The tips of his fingers trace the lines of the tattoos on the alpha's arm and his skin burns at that touch.
—Julian, he warns him for the second time.
The scent becomes more pronounced as Julian guides Enzo's hand to his neck.
—Tell me you don't want to bite me.
—So what if I do?
The omega pushes him to the ground and climbs into his lap, wraps his arms around him and kisses him with the desperation that only someone who waited too long can have, and they fit together perfectly as Enzo always assumed they would, because who was he made for if not Julian.
He stops to bring their foreheads together.
His omega.
—Julian, he asks breathing heavily, do I still smell like home?
Julian smiles wistfully and nods.
—You smell like playing football in the rain.