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It was a cold winter day. It was a kind of cold that made one long for warmth, and so did two boys on this cold winter afternoon.
A rather tall boy with purple hair was standing in his cold room.
'Why is it so cold?' He thought to himself gloomily.
He looked at the door, which was slightly opened, and saw a head peeking through. It was a boy, a bit smaller than himself, with beautiful blond hair that faded into a soft orange pink.
'Ah, Tsukasa.'
said the purple haired boy.
The boy named Tsukasa gently opened the door and shuffled into the room.
'Hi, Rui.'
Tsukasa looked into Rui's eyes, as if staring into his soul.
'Are you cold?' He asked.
Rui looked outside, and saw the view being consumed by the white mist that was forming around the landscape, while seeing a sun that was going down into the horizon. After looking at that scenery, a cold shiver ran down his spine.
That was his answer, although he still had to answer Tsukasa's question with words.
'Well, I am kind of freezing, if I'm being honest.' Rui said.
The boy with the beautiful blond hair and sparkling eyes broke the eye contact and started walking. He launched himself onto Rui's bed and landed on his back, with his arms wide open. He looked inviting and full of warmth, like a fireplace that couldn't, and wouldn't go out.
'Come here, please.' He said.
Rui didn't hesitate a moment, and started moving his legs toward the bed. Even Rui himself didn't know what was possessing him. Why was he walking so fast, without a single thought? Why was he so consumed by his love for this boy?
After gently sitting on the bedside, he layed down next to the boy that took his breath away from him.
He looked into the boy's eyes. How could they sparkle like that? How are they able look so inviting and warm? They look like a fire that will never go out.
How ironic.
After laying down, he immediately felt Tsukasa's slender arms wrap around him.
If his eyes were so warm and inviting, why did the beautiful boy feel so cold?
Rui looked into Tsukasa's eyes, which still had the same expression as before. But now, they looked even more inviting, and even warmer.
How could Rui possibly be so lucky to have an angel like this beside him?
In contrast, Rui's eyes must have looked quite distressed. Rui accepted the embrace and wrapped his arms around Tsukasa.
Tsukasa used his hand to stroke the back of Rui's head, giving the taller boy a sense of relief.
Tsukasa whispered into Rui's ear.
'Ssh, it's okay, don't feel so panicked.'
'How did he know him so well?' Rui thought to himself.
Rui wanted to look into Tsukasa's eyes, to feel the warmth that was emiting from them again.
He tried to lift his head, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to. Guilt consumed him.
Wait.
guilt?
What guilt?
Why would he feel guilty?
And for what?
A stab of pain shot through his head.
Ah. That hurts.
Right. Why think about this? It only hurts my head, after all.
But why,
why does it hurt my head?
Tsukasa could feel that Rui was thinking about something burdensome, and held him even tighter.
Rui felt this, and wanted to forget everything in the entire world, except for Tsukasa. If it was them, they could do anything, right?
Then why-
Rui heard a ringing in his ears.
Ah, right.
Don't think, don't do anything. Then everything will be alright, no?
He put his hands over his ears, moved closer to Tsukasa and closed his eyes, wishing to never open them again if Tsukasa wasn't there next to him.
-
Rui opened his eyes.
Instead of the sinking sun greeting him, it was completely dark in his room.
He looked at his alarm clock. 12 AM?
'Huh.'
he thought to himself.
Then, the boy with the purple hair came to a realization.
Rubbing in his eyes, still experiencing some sleepiness, he looked to his side, only to discover that it was empty.
'Tsukasa..?' The boy mumbled to himself in revelation.
Rui looked around his room, stayed quiet to catch some, or maybe even a little noise, but he didn't see or hear anything at all.
'Ah, he must have left. After all, it has become quite late already.' Rui muttered, while forcing himself to let out a little giggle.
He shivers.
Now that it is night, his room had grown even colder than before.
Grabbing the cover of his bed from his feet, he drapes it over himself and goes back to sleep without a thought.
After all, thinking had become quite a pain, ever since last summer.
-
A fews days later, it was still as cold as before.
Winter break had ended, and Rui had to go back to school.
After getting up, which didn't go all that smoothly, Rui managed to get himself dressed and get his bag packed along the way.
He looked at the clock.
Would he still be on time if he went this late?
Frankly, he didn't really care.
He got to the front door while grabbing his thick winter jacket. Realizing he couldn't find his gloves and scarf anywhere, he sighed and stepped out of the door.
Would it really matter?
Once outside, he found out it did matter.
The cold wind gusts were cutting into him, leaving his cheeks, nose and fingers red.
Although Rui looked terrible because of this, you wouldn't be able to notice it.
The boy still had that smug, cat-like expression on his face, as if it was plastered onto it, as if he was forced to looked like this. But, if you looked close enough, you could notice a faint hint of fatigue in his eyes.
Why was this?
Who was forcing him?
While walking to school, he surprisingly caught up with Nene.
Why was she late?
Tapping gently on her shoulder, the girl with the gray-ish green hair looked over her shoulder.
Anyone would notice those huge eye bags.
Nene looked at Rui, staring at him with a slight sign of discomfort.
'Oh, hey Rui. Why are you late too?' She asked.
Rui took some time trying to find an answer when he remembered he didn't set his alarm.
After hearing this, Nene wondered if it really was an accident.
She hadn't seen him in a while, ever since summer break.
Shaking her head, trying to shake the thought away, she forced a giggle.
'Haha, same as always, huh?'
Rui returned a smile and nodded. 'I assume you were playing games all night and lost track of time?'
'Ah, yes,' Nene replied, 'although it's very cold at night, even a blanket isn't enough to keep me warm.
I wish it was summer again.'
Nene gasped.
Realising what she said, stopping in her tracks, she looked wide-eyed at the stone tiles beneath her feet.
'Ah,
oh,
no.'
She thought to herself.
Did she say something wrong?
She looked up, meeting Rui's puzzled face.
'What's wrong, Nene? Is the cold getting to you?' Rui asked worriedly.
Nene looked at him.
Didn't he hear what she said?
Why was he looking at her like that, like she didn't do anything wrong?
Could it be..?
Still looking at him with her eyes wide in shock, Rui was the first to speak again.
'Should we continue walking?'
In a moment that seemed forever, Nene nodded and walked next to him again, along the path that lead to their school.
A few steps away from their school, Nene could hear Rui mutter something to himself.
What was he saying?
Nene perked her ears to hear what sounds his mouth were forming.
'I wonder if Tsukasa is on the rooftop again today.'
Nene's breath staggered in her throat.
-
After settling down in his classroom, the bell rang.
Just in time.
As the lesson began and went on, Rui would keep looking around and out of the window.
Was there something intriguing him?
Truthfully, he was searching for something.
Or rather,
someone.
Rui was still fairly curious about Tsukasa and his whereabouts, as he hadn't yet seen him in school that day.
Or to be speaking truthfully, he had barely seen him at all these days.
Rui shrugged and brushed it away.
He just saw him a few days ago after all, so it was no problem.
Right?
-
Finally, after some time, the bell rang again, but this time, it was a sign for the students to announce that lunch had started.
Thrilled by this announcement, the boy with the purple hair jerked up from his seat and started power walking towards the stairs that lead to the roof.
Succeeding to climb the seemingly never ending stairs, he reached the top and slammed the door open, only to find the rooftop completely empty, except for some lonesome benches which have had already seen their best days.
Looking frantically around him, Rui really couldn't find anyone, not even a blond haired boy, a self-proclaimed star.
How disappointing, utterly disappointing.
Ah, well, since he was already there, why not take this time to sit down and enjoy the scenery? He might as well eat something while he's at it.
He remembered that he forgot to eat breakfast that day.
As if his stomach had also come to that conclusion at the exact same moment, it started growling.
Unfortunately, since Rui was in quite the rush this morning, he forgot to pack lunch.
'I really don't want to go down those stairs and buy something...' He mumbled to himself.
Moving himself from a sitting position into a lying one, Rui looked at the cold, winter sky.
The white, fluffy clouds were breathtaking, it almost looked like a painting.
It almost looked like same clouds on that day.
That one, specific day.
Rui felt a sharp pain stabbing through his head again, but now, his ears started ringing at the same time.
Grabbing his head, Rui grunted as he was shocked by this sudden agony.
He broke out in a cold sweat, and was struggling to keep himself conscious.
Then, he felt a hand on his head.
The hand carefully caressed his hair, making him feel loved, making him feel like the world disappeared in front of him.
Noticing the pain and the ringing were gone, Rui slowly opened his eyes to see who it was that bestowed this blessing of relief upon him.
It was Tsukasa.
Rui widened his eyes in shock, not expecting Tsukasa,
his star.
Tsukasa looked back at him, straight into his golden eyes.
Then, he smiled.
It was the most perfect smile Rui had ever seen.
It was as if the boy shone, as if he had reached his goal of becoming a star, which in Rui's eyes, he already had.
'Are you okay?' Tsukasa asked, with that brilliant, radiant smile.
Rui nodded lightly, and mumbled, almost incoherently; 'Now that you are here, i guess..'
Tsukasa looked at him confusingly, not catching what Rui had just said.
Releasing his hand from Rui's head, Tsukasa stood up and sat next to Rui, laying Rui's head on his lap.
Rui just layed there, mesmerized by the golden boy.
Tsukasa bowed his head down until their noses were touching.
Rui looked at the face in front of him, which was now very close. He didn't mind it at all.
'Where were you?' Rui asked.
Tsukasa just looked back at him, widening his smile, not saying anything.
That beautiful, oh so beautiful smile that made all your worries go away.
Something about this broke something in Rui.
Before he knew, tears started flowing from his eyes.
Rui didn't want Tsukasa to see him like this. So vulnerable, so helpless.
And so, he covered his face with his hands.
He didn't deserve this love, not after he-, he---
As if Tsukasa could read his mind, he wrapped his arms around Rui.
So tight, so warm, so caring.
But warm? It wasn't as warm as usual.
He was lacking warmth, just like a few days ago in his room.
Even with all this, with all this love, Rui couldn't stop crying.
He felt guilty.
So, so guilty.
But still, he still didn't know why.
Tsukasa released Rui from his grip, and removed Rui's hands from his face.
Still having that brilliant smile on his face, Tsukasa dove down and kissed Rui on his forehead.
Still not being able to stop the tears, there now also was a faint tint of pink on Rui's cheeks.
Rui hoped this moment would never end.
Although, his hopes were shattered.
The bell rang.
Rui sat up, still looking at Tsukasa.
Both stood up at the same time and walked through the door to exit the rooftop.
Even while walking down the stairs, Rui's eyes never broke away from Tsukasa, almost making him trip.
They reached Rui's classroom first. Tsukasa waved and walked away.
Rui still stood there, in awe.
-
3 PM. The bell rang. Finally, he was free.
Rui walked out of his classroom, put on his outdoor shoes and left.
He didn't want to go home.
Where should he go?
Maybe Phoenix Wonderland?
Ah, no, he hadn't gone there a lot lately.
He sighed.
He decided to stroll around the area and gradually make his way back home.
So, he walked.
He walked and walked, passed store by store, but nothing piqued his interest.
There was only one thing he could think about.
Tsukasa.
Walking farther and farther down the street, he noticed a person with the same hair color as the boy he adored walking towards him.
Ah, it was Saki!
While passing her, he gave her a greeting smile, only to be returned with a small and awkward grimace.
Huh?
That was weird.
Usually Saki would beam with happiness upon meeting Rui.
What happened?
Rui looked back, noticing how Saki had fastened her pace.
And again, again, again, again, he felt a sense of guilt in his heart.
He grabbed the collar of his shirt, not knowing where this sudden feeling came from, again and again.
He stared at the ground.
People were staring at him.
Rui felt the eyes on him like knives, but ignored those cynical stares.
He didn't care about them.
He only cared about one thing.
Just one.
-
Nearing his home, Rui felt drained.
Luckily, there was a small park nearby.
Not just any park, but it was a park that held a special meaning to him.
It was the park where he confessed to Tsukasa.
Rui sat down on the bench that was located next to the swings.
He looked at the streets.
He thinks.
He thinks and thinks.
He thinks about Tsukasa, who was in his room a few days ago.
He thinks about Nene, who was acting a bit strange this morning.
He thinks about lunchtime, when Tsukasa kissed him on his forehead.
He thinks about Saki, whom he passed by on the streets.
He thinks.
He thinks about summer.
He thinks about Tsukasa.
His star.
His future.
He looks at the streets once again.
He sees people walking by.
Students, going home after their clubs, or hanging out with friends.
Parents with their little kids.
Adults returning from work.
Then, he sees blond hair.
Only the tip of the head, that is.
Rui widens his eyes.
Tsukasa..?
He stands up and runs and runs towards that blond piece of head.
He looks behind a brick wall, where he saw the hair peeking out from.
Ah.
Nothing's there.
Must've been his imagination.
Ha, ha.
Rui stares at the ground disappointedly.
He returns to the bench, sits down, and looks at the sun that is going down.
He thinks again.
His thoughts are drowning him.
Even though it's winter, Rui finds it hot.
It's almost like it's summer
Like that summer day.
That summer day.
That summer day.
He thinks about Tsukasa again.
About summer.
He wants to see Tsukasa again.
Tsukasa, the one he adores.
His star.
His light.
His future.
Oh.
Oh.
That's right.
He drops his head in his hands, and smiles through the falling tears.
Laughing at himself.
That's right.
The boy, with the beautiful blond hair and the perfect, radiant smile,
Was no longer in this world.