Work Text:
Exams are once again around the corner. Honestly, it’s as though the school doesn’t want the team to go for competitions, seeing as they always fall near one.
And now, the whole team have gathered in the library to study. Or more specifically, to aid the ‘idiots’ (as Tsukishima calls them) with their studies. Personally, I’m a straight A student, so I don’t need to be here. But I had nothing to do either way, so I just decided to join them… We chose a private study room so the noise everyone knew they’d make wouldn’t disturb other students as much. At least they’re conscious.
It only took me a few minutes to realise Tsukishima had disappeared. I’m not surprised at all; he was, after all, practically forced to come. But his bag’s still in his seat, so…?
I got up from my seat. “I’ll go look for some reference books.” A few nods, and I was gone.
Tsukishima, Tsukishima… I headed for the end of the library; Tsukishima preferred solitude, after all. Ah, there he is.
Leaning against the end of a bookshelf by the window, Tsukishima held a small book – roughly A6 sized – in one hand, headphones over his ears. He looked like his usual grumpy self, but there was something in his face. Frustration? Sadness? It was hard to discern like how Yamaguchi can, but I could still tell this wasn’t Tsukishima in his 100% self.
So I did something I didn’t expect myself to have the courage to. I walked up to him, and took his free hand in mine. He flinches, pulling on his hand, but I hold on tight. I felt his gaze snap onto me immediately upon recognition, but my eyes aren’t on him. They’re fixated on… well, nothing. I’m staring blankly at the shelf before my eyes. Anywhere but on Tsukishima.
“…” He remains silent, but no longer tries to yank his hand free. We don’t speak at all; thank goodness for his headphones. I didn’t trust my voice if he actually said something and I had to reply him.
For the next who knows how many minutes or hours, we just stood there in silence, him focusing on the book he’d been reading since earlier, me pretending to read a book while stealing glances at him. Occasionally, I’d swing our loosely joined hands. Give it a few tentative squeezes. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he squeezed back once.
Tsukishima must’ve really been worried about something if he allowed someone to be so close to him. But strangely enough, I didn’t mind that he wouldn’t tell me about it. I was given the privilege to be able to this close to him.
I was just about to doze off when I heard the voices of the team.
“Jeez, where did those two go…?”
I pivoted, and winced at the pain of the action. Just how long have we been standing here… And true enough, there they were, looking about, calling our names. Turning back to Tsukishima, I saw that the sun had begun to set, and… Oh, Tsukishima’s eyes are closed, the book once in his hand gone and that very hand was now folded across his chest.
I tug on his hand – they were bigger than I thought now that I’m conscious about it – and those exquisite eyes flutter open, instantly centering on my face.
I mouth at him “it’s time to go” and he nods knowingly, removing his headphones. I recognise the music he was listening to as one of my favorites, but decided not to bring it up. I still didn’t trust my voice.
Tsukishima let me pull him along with me towards the team. When we were within a 20m radius, I loosened my grip on our already sloppily connected hands. Tsukishima’s grasp tightened, much to my surprise. I turn back, and his expression mirrored mine. Then he releases instantly, and precipitously my hand feels cold and empty.
We meet up with the others like that; me walking in front, Tsukishima keeping a respectable distance from me. His expression gave nothing away. I sigh inwardly. Back to good ol’ Tsukishima. But at the same time, I’m glad that he seems less bothered by whatever was eating at him earlier.
The thought of me having played a part in that had me grinning.
“Woah, what’re you grinning at like that?” Tanaka was leaning a little too close to me. I take three steps backwards, shaking my head. “Nothing at all!”
But I grinned all the way home that evening.