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December.
Looks like it's that time of the year again.
I've never been the type who felt the Christmas spirit to be honest.
Most of the time it's just a real pain in the ass.
My parents need more help at the bakery and I have to work extra hours.
Relatives call, or even worse, they come over.
Satoko in particular gets unnecessarily annoying.
She's the one who's all hyped for Christmas.
She always finds time to set up our tiny Christmas tree in the living room and decorates the shop.
If it weren't for her, no-one would even notice it's Christmas, she says.
Definitely not me.
For me it's just another boring day in December.
Christmas is for family and couples anyway.
My parents are used to rest on Christmas Day for the most part, since it's one of their rare days off, or doing last minute deliveries.
Satoko is busy with her boyfriend and even Ogasawara gets his ass dragged around the city by Eimi.
I've been single since birth, so all my Christmas days have been spent napping or in the company of the sole love of my life, music.
Until I met the true love of my life, Miyano Yoshikazu, the cutest being on Earth.
Last year, I was so busy studying for college entrance exams that I was dying to have a break.
Everything was made worse by the fact that I couldn't see Myaa-chan during Christmas holidays so, when the chance to visit a BL exhibition came, I jumped on it like a thirsty man who had just found water in the desert.
Myaa-chan seemed quite happy about it, but I was ecstatic.
I still remember the look of shock on Satoko's face when she found me up early on Christmas Day, ready to leave.
Maybe she thought I was possessed.
Can't really blame her though, in eighteen years I barely left my own bed.
That day I felt like I never knew what Christmas was until that very moment.
Myaa-chan turned my world upside down.
We simply strolled around the fair together and stopped by a CD shop and a café, yet it felt like the best Christmas of my life.
The crowd was annoying and we even got separated briefly because of it, but his presence made me forget about all the unpleasantness.
I hoped the day would never end.
I came back home that night feeling like I received a million presents.
I got to hear Myaa-chan say he was glad I asked him out, that he planned to spend even next year's Christmas with me, I got to wrap him in my scarf and I saw him getting all jittery around me for a reason still unknown to me at that time.
Maybe Santa does exist after all.
The city was adorned in brilliant lights that morning, but Myaa-chan's eyes were shining even brighter.
For the first time I made a wish on Christmas Day.
I hoped that we could really spend the next one together too.
Even as friends.
I would be content just by staying by his side.
Little did I know, Myaa-chan would turn my world upside down once again in the next couple of weeks.
I can't help smiling like a fool thinking about it now, looking at Myaa-chan curled up between my legs, flipping the pages of his new BL manga.
The original plan was to snuggle under a blanket and read it together, like we usually do, but my focus inevitably shifted as time went by.
"Do you find this scene funny?" he whispers softly to me then.
"Sorry, Myaa-chan, I wasn't paying attention" I confess nervously, kissing the top of his head. "You're too distracting."
From my position I can see his ears turning red.
"I'm not doing anything" he replies.
"I know, but you're so cute, I can't help it" I admit.
He giggles and closes his book.
"Then what were you thinking about?"
"Last Christmas" I say, resting my head on his shoulder and circling my arms around him.
"It was fun, wasn't it?" He recalls, relaxing on my chest and holding my arms. "Maybe we can have another date this year too, if you're free. My treat this time".
Ah. He remembered.
"Sure. I'm free from exams now. Let's go somewhere and have fun!" I exclaim, kissing his temple.
Suddenly, loud steps from someone coming upstairs catch my attention.
"Shuu!" Satoko barges into the room uninvited, forcing the private cosy bubble we were in to disappear in an instant.
God, she's so annoying.
Myaa-chan tenses up and reddens a bit so I loosen my hold around his shoulders to simply place my hands on his hips.
"What?" I glare back at her.
"Shuu, I need a favour. I'm too busy studying this year, so I can't make the Christmas tree, can you please do it for me instead? I'll take care of the shop when I have time."
Ugh.
"Can you just, not do it? We don't need even one, no-one is gonna notice if it's there anyway…"
"I will! It's Christmas Shuu, of course we need one! C'mon, it's only for this one time, mom and dad are busy, but you're free now, please?" she insists.
"I don't know shit about making Christmas trees" I groan.
"Well Miyano-kun can help you then, right?"
Myaa-chan perks up immediately and nods enthusiastically.
"Of course. I always make our Christmas tree with my parents, I can help you!" Miyano looks at me, eyes shining like the ones of a child.
"Are you sure? I don't wanna bother you."
"No bother at all. It's gonna be fun!" he answers.
God, he's so cute. And his excitement is infectious. Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all.
"Ok then. Let's do it together" I say sheepishly.
He beams at me and Satoko giggles victoriously.
I glare back at her.
As if I'm ever gonna thank her for this.
Fast forward to the next weekend, here we are again, me and Myaa-chan, this time standing in the living room next to my family's tiny Christmas tree, surrounded by balls and any kind of shiny, glittery and sparkling useless crap Satoko managed to dig up for us.
While I'm still trying to figure out how can I help, Myaa-chan already got himself busy, spreading the tree's branches and trying to give the whole thing a realistic look.
He's so cute when he focuses on something.
His brows furrow slightly, his tiny nose scrunches in the most adorable way, and I swear I saw a glimpse of the tip of his tongue stuck between his lips a couple of times.
He doesn't even realize how many times he puts on a show for me just by doing the most ordinary things.
I could sit back and watch him set up the whole tree by himself and feel satisfied.
Too bad our tree is no more than one meter tall, so he completes his task rather quickly.
Pleased with his work, he faces me, flashing me one his best victorious smiles that makes my head spin in an instant.
"Okay, the tree is ready, we can decorate it now" he says.
"Good job! Uhmm...is there a particular way to do it?" I ask, looking at the amount of stuff laying at my feet.
"Well, you can follow a pattern if you want or just hang the decorations wherever you like" he replies picking up a blue ball.
"Let's go with "wherever you like" then" I say, smiling.
"Good! Just try not to put too many decorations of the same colour or kind too close and it'll be fine" he adds.
"Roger that! You do the left side and I'll do the right?" I ask.
"Sure!"
Needless to say, I'm pretty confident that his side will be the better decorated one in the end.
I'm always taken aback by how meticulous he can be.
It shouldn't be a surprise though, considering how thoroughly he catalogues his BL manga.
His collection is perfectly ordered by name, artist, sub-genre and even personal preference.
No wonder he can find each volume in an instant.
It's a mystery how someone so diligent can turn into a living threat in the kitchen though.
I guess that's where we compensate each other.
We spend the following hours hanging up decorations, covering ourselves in glitter, disentangling lights, stealing kisses whenever I can and exchanging smiles all the time.
When we're done with it, we sit of the floor holding hot tea mugs and we snuggle under a blanket, silently admiring the twinkling of the lights.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Myaa-chan whispers, not wanting to break the magical atmosphere.
"It is".
Of course it is. I rotated the tree when Myaa-chan wasn't looking to show off the side he decorated.
Mine turned out to be the mess full of holes that I knew it would be. His one is a work of art.
"It was fun" I admit out loud.
"Really!?" he asks with a mix of joy and pride in his voice.
All of a sudden I wonder whether his goal was to help me make the Christmas tree or to make me feel less indifferent about it.
At the sudden realization, I can't help but give him one the fondest smile I'm capable of.
I lift my hand to squish one of his bunny cheeks and kiss his forehead.
"Really" I answer, voiced muffled by his hair.
He giggles and cuddles closer to me.
I stare at the pretty Santa tree topper that's grinning back at us.
Hey Santa, can I make another wish?
Can I be greedy?
Can I spend not just this Christmas but all the next to come with him?
Out of the blue I feel the urge to live out all the clichés that I watched on TV as a child.
I want to decorate our home together, make a Christmas tree every year, a bigger one even.
I wanna see Myaa-chan complain because he can't reach the top of the tree.
I wanna hold his waist, lift him up and help him put the tree topper. He'll squirm and puff like an angry cat, but he'll do it anyway.
I wanna wrap Christmas presents and make gingerbread houses together.
My wrapping will look wrinkled and his house will smell of smoke.
I wanna wear matching Christmas sweaters.
I want all of this and more.
I know what Christmas feels like now.
All the talk about love, light, joy, warmth and safety. I get it now.
It feels like home.
It feels like Yoshikazu.
God, I can't wait to grow up.
No matter how much I try to delay our goodbyes, when the night approaches it's time for Myaa-chan to go back home.
I escort him to the doorway and, while he's busy putting on his shoes, I notice something that wasn't there when he came in before.
Mistletoe.
That must have been Satoko's doing.
I grin widely and stare back at Myaa-chan who gives me a confused look. Following my gaze, he catches a glimpse of what is currently hanging above our heads.
His face immediately goes red and he hides his nose inside his scarf, avoiding my gaze.
God, he's so cute, he's killing me.
Will I ever get tired to say this?
In the midst of my inner rambling, Myaa-chan suddenly raises his head, looks at me with eyes full of determination and takes a deep breath.
Then he lifts himself on his feet, grabs the collar of my sweater and plants a kiss on my lips.
"This is so cliché" he says when our lips part.
"Hmm, yep, I definitely love clichés" I reply, trying to hide my dumb smile behind my hand.
"Did you hang this here on purpose?" he asks.
"Nope, it wasn't me, but feel free to do this again" I tease him.
"I don't need mistletoe to kiss you…but doing it a couple of times more won't hurt, I guess…" he mumbles, head half-hidden in his scarf once again.
God, I think I just died.
My body moves automatically and I wrap my arms around him tight.
"I love you so much, Yoshikazu." I murmur softly, kissing his hair.
He raises his arms and circles my waist then.
"I love you too, Shuumei-san".
I can't wait to spend Christmas together.
Even though I have the best present I could have ever asked for right here in my arms.
Satoko was right.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Maybe I'll even thank her for today.
Yeah, maybe.
Someday.
Not today.
.
.
.
.
.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you