Chapter Text
Megumi was a bad son.
At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He knew he was a difficult child; he didn’t listen, he didn’t want anyone else in his life, he beat up kids at school, and he caused a lot of problems for his makeshift family. He fought with Gojo constantly, and occasionally bickered with Tsumiki. He was quiet, moody, argumentative, and stubborn. As he grew older, some parts changed, but a lot didn’t. Megumi knew all of this, but it felt very apparent seeing the new student with Gojo.
…
Despite all of Megumi’s emotional walls, he did still care about and appreciate his family. He didn’t know how to express any of it, though. Secretly, he regretted his last conversation wit his sister. He regretted ever talking back to her when she was just trying to help. He regretted that his last words to her before her coma were out of anger. He hoped she knew he loved her. Even more secretly, Megumi loved Gojo too. He had been in his life for almost a decade, and he loved him for not leaving, despite his myriad problems. He saw him as his father, but has never once said it. He actively tried to not express any fondness for him, scared it wouldn’t be reciprocated.
But now, he doesn't know what to do.
…
Yuji was a ray of sunshine, and also a complete mess. He fit in very well with the group, tying the first year trio together. He got along well with Nobara, despite their fights, and he respected Megumi’s need for privacy and space. Megumi liked spending time with Yuji, and saw him as a good friend. He was extremely happy with his decision to ask for him to be kept alive.
At least, for the most part.
Yuji got along swimmingly with Gojo as well as the others. They were basically a perfect fit in terms of personality, going along with each other’s jokes and schemes. They had similar energies, as both were loud, extroverted people. Megumi could tell that Gojo also liked having someone to show off his abilities to again, who actually thought they were interesting.
Megumi could clearly see that he was very different from Yuji, almost opposite in some ways.
The good teacher that he was, Gojo spent a lot of time bonding with his students. Yuji was the most receptive to this. Which was good, considering that they both needed someone to talk to, and Yuji was behind both Megumi and Nobara in terms of Jujutsu knowledge. But, Megumi was keenly aware that he was spending less time with his dad.
Megumi felt a deep ache in his chest every time he saw them walking together. He felt hurt, when Gojo revealed Yuji had been alive, and he’d been spending all his free time training him. Yuji kept asking to go in to town on the weekends, taking the time Gojo usually saved to do the same with Megumi.
Megumi was aware he was at fault for this, at least in part. He didn’t want to seek out Gojo to talk about it, and Tsumiki was still in a coma. He also was the one to decide to distance himself from his mentor when he started high school. He didn’t want his peers to see him as childish, or that he had favoritism with their teacher, and in general he wanted to be more independent. He missed how things were.
…
Gojo and Yuji had just gotten back from a trip to the city, and were talking in the living room area of the dorms. Megumi, who had gotten up to get himself more water from the kitchen, froze when he heard them speaking. He peaked around the corner, making sure to not be in the eyeline of either one of them. He flinched when he saw Gojo’s face. He seemed so happy, happier than he had ever been with Megumi. He couldn’t actually remember the last time they had spoken out of context of school or missions. His heart sank, hearing his free laughter. Megumi felt numb. Cold.
He was a bad son.
Gojo handed Yuji a water bottle, ruffling his hair affectionately.
“Thanks, Dad!”
Oh.
Yuji turned red, realizing his mistake.
“Awe Yuji, I didn’t know you liked me that much!” Gojo responded, flinging his arms wide to give Yuji a big hug.
Megumi couldn’t breathe. Mind whirling, he snuck back to his room. Pain sat in his chest and stomach, aching. Maybe it would’ve been better if Gojo had adopted Yuji instead of me.
He didn’t know what to do now. He had missed his chance. Gojo would have had to have seen that Yuji was a better son. A good one. Far better than Megumi. It’s okay, Megumi thought to himself. He can take care of Tsumiki, they were fine before Gojo took us in.
Megumi curled up in bed, summoning his demon dogs. He didn’t sleep that night.