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Debbie had been planning this party for almost a month.
The war and strife in Yonderland was now over. Debbie was a happy citizen of both Earth and Yonderland - her husband and children were fully in the know. She felt freer than ever not having to hide her whereabouts, or how her days were filled. She no longer had to shove close friends into cabinets and cupboards or toilets and attics when family members walked in.
It was a big step. But she did have some confidence. Last year, when the party had fallen on the talent show, a whole host of Yonderlandians had come through the portal by mistake. It should have been chaos. But in actual fact, while she was stressed, nobody at the party had even noticed the strange addictions - even when one of them was blue! So this year she felt sure that her Yonderland guests and her Earth friends would blend together quite well. Especially since she had only invited people she knew well. All the Elders were coming, of course, and Negatus had suprised her by agreeing to come. Sue, Lynn and Edith from the Cake Bake Club were all coming too, and had promised to bring treats. She’d debated inviting Dave and Tom, but while the Ninnies were coming on leaps and bounds she didn’t think they were quite ready to socialise with Earthlings yet.
Not everybody she’d invited was able to make it, though. Maverick Bojangles was on a tour with his newest band. Leslie John Leslie already had plans with a cousin, and Ellis of Woolworth was knee-deep in some temple adventuring and wouldn’t have been able to get back in time.
But there was always next year, and in hindsight, for her first party crossing the streams, as it were, the smaller the group of Yonderlandians the better, probably.
Almost everything had been done. She just had to start putting the party food in the oven, make the punch and do a few miscellaneous bits of decorating. She was finishing winding extra tinsel around the bannister when she heard a whoosh that had long since become familiar to her.
She smiled. It was nice to be able to hear it and not have to panic about whether her family might have heard it too. Though she'd have to be careful when her Earth guests started arriving.
“Debbie?” A deep voice called out.
The Chosen One ducked into the kitchen, and opened the pantry door to find Negatus stood awkwardly on the other side.
“Hey!” She greeted him, a little suprised. Of all the Yonderlandians to be early, she hadn’t thought it’d be him. If anything, she’d would have thought he’d be the type that liked to be ‘fashionably late’.
“Um, hello…” he said, looking quite uncomfortable.
“Come in, come in!” She ushered him out of the pantry and shut the door again.
She was delighted to see that he had dressed up. Her Christmas party always featured festive dress, and the other Yonderlandians had seemed excited about it. She’d told Negatus, but she hadn’t actually expected him to do so. Aside from some disguises, and that prison suit, she’d never seen him out of his Overlord leathers, even after the Overlords had been disbanded. Black leather and spikes was just his look.
But he was wearing a Christmas jumper. Granted, though, it was still true to his own Negtus style - it was completely black and patterned with skull-shaped snowflakes, and he appeared to have sewn some tiny silver spikes to the shoulders, like you would find on a punk jacket.
At least he hasn’t brought the helmet, she thought. Instead he had a black santa hat on, clearly home-made, since it was made out of leather - and what she had an awful feeling was real fur. His eyeliner was smokier than usual, with a bit of silver smudged into the edges, and his nails, usually all just plain black, had little white snowflakes painted on a couple of them. Even though he was still wearing his usual leather pants and biker boots, he had definitely made the effort for Christmas and she smiled broadly at him.
“I’m glad to see you looking so Christmassy,” She told him, genuinely pleased, “You look great.”
“Thanks,” he said, shuffling his feet a bit.
With the Earth guests, non-humans had unfortunately not been invited. Elf was keeping an eye on the Chamber with Trevor, and Jeff, Rita and Neil were having a little party of their own at the Lair. Without his usual entourage, Debbie couldn't help but think that he looked a little lost.
She glanced down, spying two bags in the ex-overlord’s hands and he looked down at them two, following her eyes. “Oh,” he said, blinking at them, apparently having forgotten they were in his hands, “yeah, right.”
“The guys said I should bring something,” Negatus said. “So that’s for you. Or the party, I guess, whichever.” He thrust a tall, slim bag at her and she took it curiously.
There was a nice bottle of wine inside. At least, she thought it was nice. It looked nice. It wasn’t from Earth, though, not with the label on the front. “Pippleberry? Please tell me it doesn’t have any relation to the Pipple-fruit,” Debbie pleaded, remembering the absolute chaos that that stupid tree had caused.
But to her dismay, Negatus nodded. “It does,” he told her, “but it’s fine. None of the wish-stuff, it’s just like raspberries and strawberries. Both part of the Pipple family, but not, you know, world-ending. It tastes sort of like blackcurrant wine, maybe with a bit of blueberry in there. It’s nice, I promise.”
Debbie inspected the label. It didn't seem to have any powers or freaky magic stuff listed… It looked nice. “Well thank you,” she smiled, putting it down on a higher shelf than the other drinks. “I’ll wait to open that ‘til Pete gets here. He’d like that.”
When she turned back, Negatus was holding out another bag, this one with tissue paper puffing out of the top. “Thats uh, for the tree. Underneath it, I mean.”
Debbie was shocked. He’d… he’d bought her a present? She caught a glance at the tag - ‘Debbie and The Others’. He’d brought her family a present? “Wow,” she blurted, unable to hide her shock. “Um, thank you. Really Negs, thanks.”
She went into the living room to put it under the tree, aware that Negatus was following her.
“Where's everyone else?” He asked, looking around. “I mean, figures the Elders would be late, couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag, even with Ho-Tan, but I didn’t think I'd be first here.”
“Well you are a bit early,” Debbie admitted. “Quite early, actually.” She’d invited the Yonderlandians over a full half hour before everybody else, just so she could get them through the portal unseen, but Negatus had arrived a full three quarters of an hour earlier than that.
“I am?” Negatus looked sharply around the room, searching until his eyes landed on the clock on the mantelpiece. “I am,” he said, “drat! I knew it.”
Scowling, he apologised to her. “Sorry, I put Neil in charge of the clock in the Lair.” He crossed his arms mulishly. “I bet they did it on purpose, the little rats. They kicked me out for their party.”
Debbie bit back a smirk.
“I can go back for a bit if you want,” he offered, jabbing a thumb back towards the kitchen, “that’ll get ‘em, me turning back up. I’ll give them a right evil thrashing.” He paused. “I mean, non-evil thrashing.”
Debbie shook her head. “No no, no need to go back, you’re here now. Might as well let them have their victory - it is Thanktival after all,” she reminded him, and he grunted, conceding. “In fact, while you’re here, you can help me finish setting up.”
Negatus slumped. “Ugh, I didn't come here for chores,” the Ex-Overlord whined and Debbie rolled her eyes.
“That’s right, you came here for a party,” she said, “but there won’t be a party if everything isn’t ready on time.”
Negatus huffed, but begrudgingly started following her back into the kitchen, muttering. “Alright, alright.”
“Kids!” Debbie shouted, up the stairs on her way past, “people are starting to arrive so watch out!”
Negatus was quite impressed by the state of the kitchen. Considering she was doing a whole party, it was quite clean. She didn’t even have demons to tidy up for her!
“Here, help me put these out on trays,” she told him, handing him a couple of boxes of… something. He peered at the label. Sausage puffs. Basically, tiny sausage rolls. He shrugged, ripping open the top of one box and tipping them out onto the tray she pointed him to. Easy.
“To be fair,” Debbie informed him, “there’s not that much to do. Once these are in the oven, I’ve just got to mix the punch and put some last minute decorations up - you know, paper chains and things.” She looked over at the doorway. “There’s also mistletoe, but Pete wants to put that up when he gets home. It’s his thing.”
She ripped open her own bag of food and poured it out over a second tray, and he copied with his puffs as she shook them out to disperse them so they weren't all clumped up. He was just about to reach for a second box when the sound of jingling bells caught his attention and he looked up searching around the kitchen for the source of the noise.
Something pink and green bobbed behind the kitchen island, and he caught sight of a blonde head with a headband on, covered in little gold bells.
“Mum, Ben says I can't wear my jumper and fairy wings at the same–” a little voice started, breaking off with a gasp. "SANTA!" It screamed and Negatus jumped a mile, dropping the box onto the counter.
"What?" Debbie said, looking absolutely floored as she turned to stare at him.
"What?" Negatus parroted, panicked as he caught sight of the small girl that had appeared by Debbie's side, the very tyke who’d caught him out during Thanktival last year. "Oh, no no no!” He said quickly, insistent. “No, you're wrong, mistaken!"
Hayley turned to her mum with fire in her eyes and pointed viciously at Negatus, who was crowding himself back against the kitchen counter. "That’s the Santa who told me I wasn't getting any presents!" She declared vehemently.
Debbie turned to him, her eyebrow raised. "Oh really now?" She placed a hand on her hip and Negatus gulped. "No presents?"
"Well– well I said that, actually, because–" he floundered, trying to think of a good explanation. Not even a good explanation, just any at this point. “Um– because I was.... I was being nice."
Hayley eyed him with suspicion. "Nice?" She asked.
"Nice." Debbie said flatly.
Oh he'd put his big leather boot in it now. He'd never in a million years expected to get caught!
"Well, um, yes... yes!" Oh thank Chompus, genius finally struck as it always did, and he bent down to meet Hayley’s eye. "I thought if Itold you that you weren't getting any presents, then you'd be even happier when you woke up and found out that you did get some!" he explained. "That would make it an even bigger surprise!"
Hayley’s head tipped to the side, her expression thoughtful. “Huh.”
"Did it work?" Negatus asked, reaching out to poke her in the side, "hmm, did it? I bet it did!"
"It did!" Hayley shrieked, scooting away from his finger, laughing. "It did!"
"See! Santa's genius always comes through."
“Did you come here to say that?” Hayley asked him. “We’re having a party, you know, you could stay if you wanted.” She turned to her mum, hands clasped together. “Can he stay, mum? Can Santa stay for the party?”
Negatus coughed. “Actually, your uh, your mum already invited me,” he admitted, pulling at the collar of his jumper.
Hayley looked awed. “She has? Mum, how do you know Santa?”
Debbiewas caught out, struggling under her daughter’s intense look. "I… well…”
"Oh I, ah," Negatus cut in, "I’m not actually Santa, little one. I’m just a friend of your mum,’ he explained. “He uh... his sled machine broke down a few streets away, so I was filling in for him. Just for a few streets."
"Oh,” Hayley said. “A part-time Santa. Like how Justine's dad is a part-time postman."
Negatus squinted at her. "...Yes."
"Does that mean you do know the real Santa, then? You must if he asked you to help him."
He looked at Debbie but she shook her head, leaving him to dig his way out of the hole he’d made without help.
"Uh, no," he said. "No I was just... passing by, you know, at the time."
Her face fell. "Oh."
"But I got his telephone number, so I'm sure that counts as being friends now, right?" he blurted, trying to make her happy again. Gods, if he made Debbie's kid cry again, in front of her, he'd be chucked back through the portal piece by tiny little piece.
Hayley lit up again, bouncing in place. "Yes! That counts!"
"Thank goodness," Negatus mumbled. There was a thudding coming down the stairs, her brother maybe? Shit. Whoever it was, he didn't want to go through this again. once was enough.
"Listen," he said quickly, "people aren't really supposed to go talking about knowing Santa, it's meant to be a secret, so you can't tell anyone about me being Santa for a night - or knowing him at all, okay? Not even your brother."
"Okay,” Hayley agreed instantly, and he paused. He'd actually thought that it would be a lot harder to convince her to keep quiet, maybe involve some bribery or something. Then again, if the roles were reversed, he'd agree to keep it secret too; then he could blackmail this 'Santa's friend' for better prezzies. Smart girl.
He stuck his hand out. "Deal."
"Deal," she echoed, and shook it just in time for her brother to come crashing down the stairs.
"Who's this?"
"This is Negatus," she said, and Negatus waved at him.
(In reality he was shaking his hand off, because that six year old had a bloody strong grip.)
Ben’s nose wrinkled. "That’s a funny name."
"I could say that about you," Negatus said haughtily.
"Ben isn't a funny name!"
Negatus shrugged. "It is where I’m from.”
Ben huffed.
“Go put your jumper on,” Debbie told him. “And Hayley, you can wear fairy wings.”
“I told you,” Hayley said, pushing her brother’s shoulder.
“Whatever,” Ben said and went back up the stairs, his sister following smugly behind.
The moment they were gone, Debbie turned to look him up and down taking in his black, skull-covered Christmas jumper and leather pants, and big chunky boots. “How the hell did she mistake you for Santa?” She wondered. “No offense, it's just, you’re kind of his opposite.”
To be fair, even though he’d committed to the bit when he’d been flying around stealing presents, he hadn't actually expected his ‘disguise’ to pass muster with an actual earth child. From the cards he’d seen, Santa was dressed fully in red, fat, and had a huge white beard - definitely not his look.
“You didn't see me around then,” he said. “I’d uh, had a bit of a run in with Chompus. That stupid git’s drool bleached my damn beard and some of my hair. Still didn't think I matched up enough to your jolly fat man, but when your squirt called me Santa, I just said yes.”
“Uh huh,” Debbie nodded. “And what were you doing in my house?”
Negatus stared at her. Shit.
Shit shit shit shit shit.
“…Wow we should really put these little sausage things in the oven before people start arriving,” he said suddenly, turning away from her to dump another box of sausage puffs onto the tray.
He could feel Debbie staring at him as he reached for another box - Macaroni Bites - and started ripping the cardboard open, but seconds later he heard her sigh.
“I’m not even going to ask,” she said. “But those need to go on a different tray.”