Chapter Text
Chapter 1
“Your TikTok account Asami&Akihito had been officially verified. Congratulations! You have 3.5 million followers!”
Akihito stared down at his phone in amazement. He never would have imagined his account with Asami would be so popular. Of course, Asami’s personal account AsamiRyuichi had already been verified because everyone wanted to see videos of the reclusive billionaire CEO of Sion.
It was surprising it took so long for the joint account to be verified even after they hit a million followers. They were finally verified after the most recent video, which had over 20 million viewers. The latest viewed was of Asami stripping off his button-up shirt and displaying his sexy eight-pack abs.
Akihito was torn between being furious and aroused. He hated everyone being able to see HIS Asami’s abs, but his heart warmed at the caption, “My body is only for my partner AkiLovesSushi. He has both my body and heart.”
It was almost ridiculous for him to be blushing at the sight of Asami half-naked. As the caption said, he was the only one who got to see Asami naked in person and he had claim to Asami’s heart
oOo
Akihito could barely contain his laughter as he lounged on the couch. He wanted to appear casual while watching TikTok. As soon as he heard Asami open the front door and enter the genkan, Akihito hit play on the audio and began to record.
TikTok Audio: Now remember if you sleep with an older man, that’s not having daddy issues. That’s called caring for the elderly.
Akihito laughed and smirked at the indignant look on Asami’s face.
Asami: Is that so kitten? I think I need you to help care for the elderly.
Akihito stopped laughing and began to panic. Oh fuck, Asami was going to drag him to the secret room for a week.
Akihito: Asami, it was just a joke! I swear! Aaa.
Asami: Sure, Kitten…
oOo
Fei Long: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Akihito: I dunno. Sometimes we throw shit at Kevin
Fei Long: Who’s Kevin?
Akihito: Kevin! *proceeds to chuck a pillow at Sudo Shuu*
oOo
Akihito: Hey Asami, can I see some of your high school photos?
Asami: Why?
Akihito: For the TikTok Trend about you being a teenage dirtbag.
Asami: Do you really think I was a teenage dirtbag?
Akihito: Of course! Maxim told me all about you being the star football player and everyone was so obsessed with you. He only briefly showed me a picture of you in high school, and you looked so much hotter!!! God I was practically drooling!
Asami: Excuse me?
Akihito: I know! The stupid jerk said I would only get a picture of you in high school if you gave them to me!
Asami: That wasn’t the part I was focused on…
Akihito: Hmm? Anyways, can I please have them?
Asami: Absolutely not. The only person you should be drooling over is me currently.
Akihito: Asami!!!
oOo
Akihito: *Starts pointing camera at Asami’s face*
Asami: Why are you filming me?
Akihito: I’m checking out your Christmas Wishlist
Asami: What?
Akihito: Its a filter.
Christmas Wishlist
X A rich wife
X Alcohol
X A dog
X Designer stuff
Akihito: Apparently you want a rich wife, alcohol, a dog, and designer stuff.
Asami: Three out of four things are wrong. I don’t need a rich wife, I’d much prefer a broke photographer who calls himself “aquarium algae.”
Akihito: Pervert. Why don’t you want the designer stuff and a dog?
Asami: I already have designer stuff and I’m more partial to cats, like you, than dogs.
Akihito: Okay now film me!!
oOo
Asami: Why did I have to start a new post?
Akihito: Because the filter needed to start a new video to reset. Probably so you can’t click a bunch of times to get results that you want. Now use the filter on me!!
Christmas Wishlist
X My own business
X A rich man
X Boyfriend
X A rich wife
Asami: Apparently you want your own business and a rich wife.
Akihito: Wait that’s only two things! The filter is supposed to show four!
Asami: The other ones are things you already have—a rich man and boyfriend. I’m here, so you already have both.
Akihito: Omg. You said it!!! You’re my boyfriend. This is going to go viral!!!
Asami: Labels are overrated. They’re just words. You can call someone your partner and still treat them like they’re a roommate with benefits.
Akihito: Be still my beating heart… How romantic.
oOo
Akihito: Asami, come try the viral cheesy ramen with me!”
Asami: That gross monstrosity that is all over the absurd little video app?
Akihito: It’s not gross, come try it!
Asami: Why?
Akihito: Because it’s all I made for dinner!
Asami: Ugh, fine. *tries it* …Wow….this is surprisingly not horrible.
Akihito: I knew you’d love it!
Asami: I called it ‘not horrible.’ Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Akihito: From you, that’s basically a win!!
oOo
Akihito: I wanted to try to use that filter to come up with a name for Asami.
Akihito: What’s up King Baby?
Asami: Do you want to try that text again?
Akihito: What do you mean King Baby?
Asami: You know I can get Kirishima to drive me back to the penthouse right now, right?
Akihito: I’m so fucked, aren’t I?
Asami: Is this that weird TikTok filter where you come up with a gross name for me and film my reaction over text or in person?
Akihito: Maybe…
Asami: You know it’s your funeral, right?
Akihito: If I die, everyone know it was you!!
oOo
Akihito: Hey Asami, come try this filter. Its a checklist for this upcoming year.
Asami: Didn’t I already do that?
Akihito: No. That was your Christmas Wishlist. Come sit next to me!
Asami: Fine.
Checklist for 2023
X Save $10,000
X Gray sweatpants
X Find a Girlfriend
X Make a BABY
Akihito: Apparently, you’re going to save $10,000, get gray sweatpants, find a girlfriend, and make a baby!
Asami: I’m fine with the first two. I know we can’t make a baby, but do you want to try anyways?
Akihito: ASAMI!!!! Never mind, we’re not using this filter anymore.
oOo
Akihito: So I found MaxtheMeatGuy on TikTok and I liked his meat so much, I tried one of his recipes!
Asami: You liked his meat? Are you trying to make me jealous, Akihito?
Akihito: No you perv! It’s food! Anyways I went ahead and spatchcocked the turkey—
Asami: Sorry you what cocked? Why is there a cock? The only cock you should want is mine
Akihito: Oh shut up!!! It’s a cooking technique. So now I’m going to loosen the skin and get my hands under it—
Asami: It looks like you’re sensually rubbing the large bird…
Akihito: Asami!! Anyways I have the most amazing butter…
Asami: You could have just said that you have the most amazing butt, which is true
Akihito: I’m turning off the camera, I can’t with you!
Asami: I’m posting this anyways…
Akihito: No you’re not!!!
Asami: Try and stop me~~~