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“My time, and all of those days I spent being an Idol…give it back!”
Haruka walked down the school hall, thoughts plaguing their mind. Mai had apologized for what they had said all of those years back then, and they even talked to Airi, Shizuku, and Minori about why they stopped being an Idol. But…no matter what their mind wouldn’t stop thinking about the past, about everything that happened back then. “ I just want to live a normal school life now…that’s all.” They thought to themself. “ A normal school life…none of the bustle of the paparazzi around every corner, no more having a packed schedule with interviews, recordings, handshakes, and shows, no more being on stage…a…normal school life.”
“That’s what I want right?”
Haruka exited the school building on her way home now. They reflected on what happened earlier. They told everyone about why they quit, and became a normal student again. Their subconscious fear of going on stage, the shaky legs that wouldn’t stop shaking no matter how hard they tried, all of it. They all listened as they rambled all of it on. The words Airi and Shizuku said at the end had an impact for sure, but one particular thing made their heart ache every time they thought about it. The expression on Minori’s face as they left. They knew Minori had been their number 1 fan at the end of the day…but why did their heart still ache at the thought of it?
They checked the time on their phone, “ 5:30…I have time until I need to be home, I might give them a visit and talk about this.”
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“Welcome to Weekend Garage! I’ll be with you in one second”
That familiar voice, the one belonging to An Shiraishi, her childhood rival and friend. They always listened to them whenever they needed to talk and they knew of why they stopped being an idol already, so they thought it would be nice to step in for a chat with them.
“Hi there what can I get for yo-, oh wait hi Haruka! Come on in! We’re a bit busy but I can still talk some! My break is just about to start!
“Thanks An, I would like to talk about some stuff, and you always listen so I thought I’d come on by.”
“Oh no problem! Is it okay if I tell you a story first though? You’ll never believe what happened!”
Haruka knew An was one to go on about stuff for unreasonable amounts of time, for example when they last talked, they talked about how they finally found a partner to sing with for almost 25 minutes straight. However, they seemed really excited and more energetic than usual, so they figured it was something of importance.
“Go ahead, you seem really excited after all.”
“Of course I am, what happened was unbelievable after all! Now come on, let's sit down!”
They both sat down at the counter on one of the less crowded sides of the shop, perfect since Haruka being spotted would be a bother since everyone was curious about why they had quit.
“So An, what could be on your mind? You mentioned doing a show with that new partner of yours recently, is it about that?”
“I wish, but something else entirely! So there’s this one person in my class, they don’t come to school too often but whenever they do we always get to hang out and it's a blast! So I invited them to eat lunch with me and we went up to the roof, they said they always enjoyed the roof!”
“I can see why they do, I always go up to the roof to read because it's quiet and nobody is there.”
“Ah that makes sense! So while we were eating I noticed them fidgeting with their tie a lot and I asked them why and they told me something really cool, they basically made their entire uniform by themselves!”
“What does that have to do with them fidgeting their tie? Also I feel like you're exaggerating a tad bi-”
“C’mon Haruka, stuff will sort itself out as I tell the story! And maybe I’m exaggerating just a tad but that’s not the point! So then they told me they hadn’t been able to make the bow that they wanted to make with their uniform which was why they had been fidgeting with it so much, and I suggested giving them my bow in exchange for their tie!”
“Makes sense, you never did like wearing bows, didn’t you tell me you got in trouble for wearing the boy’s uniform once in Junior High because you didn’t want to wear the “Stupid oversized frilly bow” and wore the boys one as a substitute?” Haruka chuckled at the memory.
“Oi! Shut up about that will ya! I was a dumb 13 year old! Anyways when we finally exchanged our bow and tie, I saw everything! The colors, the hues, the light, all of it! And that’s how I found my soulmate! They’re super cute and fashionable, you should meet them sometime!”
“You found your soulmate?!” Haruka was shocked, after a while of getting used to the white, gray, and black world you can forget that some people see things differently. Haruka had stopped wondering about it a while ago, as they had their idol activities to attend to, but they liked to think that one day, they could find them not as the idol Haruka Kiritani, but as the person who has a fondness for penguins Haruka Kiritani.
“Yup! Their name is Mizuki Akiyama by the way! A pretty name fitting a pretty person!”
“Mizuki huh? Heh, maybe I will meet them sometime.”
“You should! Now that I can see color, it feels as if the world is completely different now!”
“Really? What do I look like now to you?” Haruka asked. They had a feeling they knew what she was going to say, but they wanted to know anyway, to see if what she said was different from her past managers.
“Hmmmm let me see….”
An looked at Haruka for a good couple of seconds, up and down, right and left, getting a good look at her in.
“If I were to say something, you look really elegant and pretty! Your hair is a shade of blue, I know you don’t exactly know what “blue” is but it fits you well, plus the shade is very deep and pretty!”
“I had a feeling you’d say that. Some of my past managers had said the same thing.”
At this point, Haruka had become very familiar with blue, even if they couldn’t see color. It was the hue of the penlights that the audience always waved, her outfits were always a similar hue of that wonderful color. It always made her feel at home even if sometimes she felt alone and crushed by the thoughts of not being able to go on stage. It was her hue, the hue of her lonely universe.
“Really? Cool!” Haruka leaned back in their seat a bit. “Man knowing who my soulmate is feels so re-”
“Oh right! You wanted to talk about something, sorry I got carried away there for a second Haruka!” An sounded very apologetic as she spoke, they never mean to ramble on but they do anyways.
“Don’t worry about it An, besides, I like hearing you talking about things.”
“Ehehe you’re too kind. Now go on Haruka go on and talk! I’ll try not to interrupt you like usual, you seemed a little down while coming in so it’s probably serious.”
“Oh don’t worry about it, sorry for worrying you. Now where do I begin…My friends and former idols on the rooftop, Shizuku and Airi, and as well as a newbie Idol who you’ve heard me talk about, Minori.”
Haruka took a deep breath, processing how to talk about it.
“They arranged for me to talk with Mai, and we talked things over and apologized to each other about what had happened that day. All was good as they left, and I spoke to them about why I left the Idol Industry. The shaky legs, the fear of going on stage, all of it. After I had finished talking, Airi and Shizuku asked if I was really so sure about leaving the industry. I said yes, but I’m starting to question if that’s really how I feel. Minori’s expression as I left was one of the main things that made me think that. She just looked so…disgruntled. That expression just makes my heart ache every time I think about it and I don’t know why. So that’s why I’m here, I wanted to hear your thoughts on what I should do about all of…this.”
An processed what Haruka had said. “Mhmmm, let me think for a quick sec.”
“Well,” An began, “If being an Idol is what you're passionate about and love doing, I don’t see why you should stop!”
“I guess it is…but I just…get so shaky.” Haruka was on the verge of tears. Thinking about all of it was just so much, and the more they thought about it the more it hurt.
“Hey hey Haruka don’t worry! Things come with time! Baby steps are what matter, for example my partner Kohane and I got the lights cut out on our first performance as Vivids, sure it was sad, but there’s always time and we can practice more to make the next one something to remember for the audience to remember! What I’m saying is take your time and eventually a masterpiece can occur!”
“An…”
“Ah! My break is almost up! Just remember what I said okay Haruka! Take your time and eventually, a masterpiece can happen, see you later!”
“Thank you so much An, I’ll see you later too.”
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Haruka was at home now, they were currently lying down in bed reading a book they found in the library with their penguin lamp on her bedside table illuminating the pages and space around her. They marked where they had left off, and put their book next to the lamp. They stared at their wall, it was painted a shade of blue as well, albeit a lighter one. They longed to see that shade of blue again, illuminated in the audience. But, they wanted to live a normal school life didn’t they? Sure being an Idol was fun and all but they had to deal with paparazzi, maintaining their weight so that the audience wouldn’t think any less of them, having a busy schedule, never seeing their family or friends that often, all of…that. Now they could connect with others, be themselves and lead a normal everyday school life. “ A normal everyday school life huh?”
Just as Haruka was about to ponder more, their eyelids slowly came to a close as they fell into the comforting world of sleep.
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Airi, Shizuku, and Minori had called them to the rooftop once more. They weren’t particularly busy, but they still wondered why they would want to talk with them. As they opened the rooftop door, Airi welcomed them.
“Sorry for calling you up here again Haruka.” Airi said.
“Oh don’t worry about it, it's no problem, now what did you want to talk about today?”
Minori stepped forward and approached Haruka.
“Um…There’s an amazing place I want to go with you! One with a beautiful view, where you can feel better!” Minori said with energy.
“Sure, I didn’t mean for you to worry about me. As long as we don’t go too far so I can make it back home in time we should be okay…”
“Oh don’t worry about that Haruka! We can get there really quickly, now hold on tight!”
“Huh Minori? What are you-”
Suddenly, Haruka’s world became filled with a bright, white light, before they knew it they stood before a ginormous stage with a huge audience with penlights in hand.
Haruka sighed, “I had a feeling it would be here but Minori why would you bring us back-”
Speaking of Minori, where was she? She wasn’t to be seen anywhere, nor could she see Airi or Shizuku.
Suddenly, Minori, Airi, Shizuku, all came out of backstage wearing idol uniforms. They looked perfect, as if they had been made just for them.
“Why are they all onstage? What's going on?” Haruka had little time to think before Minori spoke.
“Hello everyone, my name is Minori Hanasato!”
After saying her name the audience cheered in response.
“I know this may sound sudden, but there is this Idol I really admire and look up to. That would be Haruka Kiritani, yes you!”
Haruka was speechless. So many thoughts were going through her head, what was Minori doing, why was she onstage, and most important of all, why was she talking about her onstage?
“Haruka has given me so much hope throughout the years, but…right now, they’re going through a sad, painful time, and they always look so down whenever I see them. I want them…I want them to feel that hope they’ve once given me and stand back on their feet and look forward once again, so that's why I’m standing on this stage again!”
“I’m going to give you all a performance with all of my might, so please enjoy!”
Shizuku followed up, “I hope you listen and enjoy till the end!”
Airi followed as well, “We’ll show you an awesome stage!”
Suddenly the hue of the stage changed from the hue it was before to the wonderful hue they came to love.
Blue.
Then, Minori began to sing wonderfully, along with Shizuku and Airi. The performance was amazing, the energy Minori was giving out was so wonderful. The movements in her steps, the emotion was beautiful. At that moment Haruka thought, “ There’s no place I would rather be than right here, watching Minori perform like this.”
Suddenly the world around Haruka transformed from the usual gray, black, and white hues they were used to, to a blast of colors swirling around them. They got to see how beautiful, cool, and deep that blue hue looked among the sea of penlights, the colors of Minori, Airi, and Shizuku on stage, all of it was…it was so beautiful they couldn’t look away or else they feared they would miss out on something amazing.
In that moment Haruka was reminded of how her first solo show was, and the first time she fell in love with the hue of that blue. Everyone’s cheers and encouragement made her feel so happy and at home on that stage.
Suddenly, Miku and Rin came up behind her.
“Are you enjoying the stage Haruka?” Miku said,”They put a lot of practice and effort into it!”
Rin continued,”You can even see the sea of blue go on forever!”
“Miku…Rin…you’re right. It’s just like the scenery I’ve loved so much.”
Then the stage ended.
Minori was the first to speak out, “Th-Thank you!!” She continued on, “Well Haruka, why don’t you come up on stage! The view of the blue penlights is beautiful! All of us have worked hard too to help you see this view!”
Haruka hesitated, they wanted to go up on stage and see that scenery once again, and give Minori a hug. Haruka realized it, but she loved Minori, she wanted to hug her so tight and say thank you a million times over.
Then, An’s words from earlier came to mind.
“Take your time, and eventually, a masterpiece can occur!”
This wasn’t a big deal, the audience probably wasn’t real, Minori, Airi, and Shizuku were up there waiting for them, it was all going to go okay.
Miku spoke from behind them, “Haruka, what is it that you want to do?”
“I…” Haruka paused. “I want to get back on that stage once more!”
With some encouragement from Rin, they took Minori’s hand and got a good view of the sea of blue. It was just as beautiful and calming as she had remembered all that time ago. She almost felt like she was about to fall over, then Minori rushed over and picked her back up again.
“Don’t worry Haruka, all of this, I wanted to show you and give to you, all of that hope you once gave to me all that time ago that made me realize how colorful and beautiful this world is. And that tomorrow will always be a better day!”
“Minori…”
Haruka was speechless. This was all so much to take in. Then, “Untitled” started to glow on their phone and everyone else's as well. Then, they were able to perform with everyone else once more.
“This feeling…This is the feeling I love!”
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“Haruka, wait up!” Minori called after them.
They had left their Sekai after they had finished performing Newly Edgy Idols and giving Miku and Rin their thanks. They were on their way home now and Minori wanted to speak with them.
“I…I hope you realized during that performance what I realized long ago! Those feelings and hues you showed me that day, I hope you realized them because…”
Minori took a deep breath, “I, I love you so much Haruka!”
Haruka was speechless, they were so happy and speechless they didn’t know what to think. Then they approached Minori and enveloped her in a hug.
“I love you too, Minori, and thank you for making me realize that my universe isn’t as lonely as I had thought.”
The two, hand in hand, walked home towards new beginnings in a colorful, newly dyed universe.