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It wasn't their first mission where the car ride was filled with shuddering breaths and tension thicker than syrup.
Wisely, Hirotsu didn't comment on Chuuya's pale complexion or Dazai's clenched jaw as he drove them to their shared apartment. Instead, he metaphorically kept his head down as he parked the car and opened the passenger door. A hoarse 'Thank you' left Chuuya's lips as he slipped past, while the other gave a stoic nod and opened the door, oddly enough, holding it open for Chuuya to walk in before trailing after him.
Hirotsu pretended he didn't see anything.
The second the door of their apartment shut and the lights were on, the ginger's knees buckled from under him and he sobbed pitifully into the palms of his hands. "Why did we have to kill her?!" He wailed, storm-coloured eyes peeking out from the gaps in his fingers to glare at the flooring below him.
Dazai exhaled and rolled his eyes behind the bandages as he lazily tossed his black jacket across the kitchen table while finding his place on the stool beside it, "She was a target-"
"She was a child!"
Ah, right. Every so often Dazai forgot that the former Sheep King was known for his merciful throne, which is also why he didn't tell Chuuya about the age of their target until the sniper rifle was set up. "A child is still a target if the boss orders it, Chuuya. Imagine what would have happened to us if we didn't execute her? Imagine what would have happened to her!"
"We'd still be alive if we didn't kill her!" Chuuya's scraped and raspy voice gasped out as he tried pushing himself into an upright position.
"You wouldn't want to be after Mori would be done with you!" Dazai barked sharply, eyes flashing with recollections of a scalpel blade pressed to freckled skin because of a mistake made by his bandaged hands, and he knew solely by Chuuya's expression he was remembering what had been done to the brunet due to his own snappish personality.
Wrapping his arms around himself, the gravity wielder looked off to the side of the kitchen where their dirty dishes filled the sink, left behind due to the stress of their work. "I-I would have been able to take it! She was a kid, Dazai! She didn't deserve to be s-s..." He gave a strangled whine as he choked on his words, unable to say the word.
"Shot, Chuuya, she was shot. By us." He muttered, rewrapping the bandages around his non-dominant hand. "I get it, as the glorious Sheep King of Suribachi you're used to protecting those younger and smaller-" Dazai wisely swallowed the short joke that was going to follow that sentence, "-than you, but now you're Twin Dark - the Brawn of Double Black."
He visibly recoiled, and maybe Dazai should have rephrased it better, and maybe he should be more considerate, but they had another mission to prepare for in less than twelve hours. If the ginger was still shaking like a leaf, then the likelihood of completing the second mission within the timespan Mori so desired was limited. "Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?"
"Go take a shower, Slug. We have to get to Tokyo in a few hours for our meeting with the-"
"Yeah, yeah." Chuuya growled out, "Make yourself useful and do the dishes before you do... Whatever." He stormed past him, nearly knocking Dazai off the stool with how their shoulders collided as he made his way to his bedroom door at the end of the hall.
With a gentle sigh, the so-called Demon Prodigy rolled his shoulder with a slight wince as he walked to the living room where his laptop lay on the table, pointedly ignoring the dishes filling the sink. Truthfully, he was jealous of Chuuya's ability to feel guilt towards those he killed - envied him to the extent that made him wish he were human. Clearly, he couldn't voice these thoughts and feelings aloud, especially not with Mori conforming him into some emotionless killing machine, but also especially not to Chuuya.
He'd try convincing him of the impossible. He'd practically beat the premise of humanity into Dazai if he told him.
Narrowing his dull earth-toned eyes, he began to scan over the mission file and the blueprints he had on his laptop. Thankfully, there was limited death in this mission - hopefully - and it was simply overseeing a transaction between two companies that both had dealings with the Port Mafia. Honestly, Dazai was beginning to suspect Mori was trying to burn the two of them out and force them to prove their loyalties, which, maybe would work a few years down the road if this kept up - the whole five missions a week thing.
"You didn't acknowledge my question."
Exhaling in annoyance, Dazai leaned back into the couch cushions to look back at the scowling ginger whose freckled skin was flushed a bright scarlet colour due to the hot water he likely used up. It's fine, Dazai preferred cold showers anyway. "My, my! Instead of calling you a slug, maybe I should be calling you a lobster!"
"Jackass! Stop dodging the damn question and respond to it!"
Well, Chuuya was nothing if not persistent he supposed.
"I don't have time to feel guilty, and neither do you." Dazai tossed the file over his shoulder without checking to see if Chuuya was prepared. An annoyed huff was his sole response as the sound of papers being riffled through filled the silence, "We take the train to Tokyo in five hours, sleep while you can. I don't wanna deal with a cranky Chibi during the train ride because he merely didn't get enough sleep."
The file came into contact with the back of his head, and the brunet pretended not to hear the sigh of mental exhaustion that left the shorter as he plopped down on the couch beside him without another word. The confusion he felt must have been more visible on his face than he expected as Chuuya scoffed and leaned his head on his shoulder, the warmth of his skin seeping into Dazai's colder body. "Shut up... I just... Want some sort of comfort."
"... As long as you don't bark like a chihuahua when I move around more than you'd like." Dazai responded softly as he leaned his cheek against the fiery locks of hair resting on his shoulder.