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A low cold light filled the small walk-in closet. As Hitoya loosened his red tie, he moved to search for a specific black shirt. Something elegant and simple with a small embroidery on the side. He let the tie fall on the smooth surface of the dressing table and grabbed the garment before going back to his bedroom.
Unbuttoning the white shirt he was still wearing, his eyes fell on the half-empty pack of cigarettes he had forgotten on the nightstand. The noise of the hair dryer coming from the other room told Hitoya that he still had some time before the couple had to leave his apartment for dinner.
He left the dark shirt on the large bed and took a cigarette out of the packet, but he waited to be on the large balcony before lighting it up. He didn’t bother with closing the sliding door: December had come, but it wasn’t that cold anyway. The sun had already started to disappear behind the tall buildings of Nagoya, tinting the busy city of a delicate purple shade.
Hitoya sighed before leaving the cigarette between his lips.
A moment of quiet and peace was exactly what he needed. He had taken a week off to relax, but the past few days had been even busier than usual. Jakurai had finally found some time to visit him in Nagoya for more than a weekend and Hitoya had planned each day carefully. When talking about what he had in mind, Kuko had teased him, comparing the lawyer to an eager teenager in love. That wasn’t it.
He inhaled the smoke a little faster.
Yes, of course everything was going quite well with Jakurai (after an entire year of not always pleasant discussions), but there was something else. A feeling, a fear that had accompanied Hitoya for almost twenty years.
He had learnt the hard way that the time available to spend with another person could end all of a sudden without any possibility of repair. So, maybe, he had tried to fill every single day with something to do or see as a way to cherish and celebrate those moments together. He already had many regrets. He didn’t want even more of those.
The quiet atmosphere was interrupted by an unexpected shutter sound and Hitoya smiled softly.
“You should turn the volume down before taking a picture, if you want to be subtle.”
A deep chuckle came from the dark bedroom. “Ah, technology truly is complicated.”
The clear ironic comment made the lawyer turn around. Leaning against the railing, he observed the other man. He had no idea when Jakurai had finished changing into fresh clean clothes or when he had joined him in his bedroom, but the doctor looked as if had always belonged to the place. Long hair falling on his shoulder, his mouth was still curved in a calm smile lit by the screen of the phone.
Pushing away his last thoughts, Hitoya brought the cigarette back to his lips. Jakurai took another picture. “I never took you for a photo enthusiast.”
Jakurai shook his head. “We have been separated for years. Now I want to have as many memories as possible of those we’ll spend together.” His eyes moved away from the phone for an instant, as if he didn’t want to miss Hitoya’s reaction.
At the tender words, Hitoya’s cheeks began to redden. He lowered his head, trying to hide the embarrassment. “Well, when you have finished with… with that, we should hurry.” He then murmured. “They’re going to give away our table otherwise.”
To be fair, Hitoya was the one who should have hurried since he still had to change into better clothes. He expected Jakurai to tell him so, but the doctor just placed the smartphone beside himself on the bed. “We still have time.” He then looked up at him, tilting his head a little. “If you really want to go out.”
“What do you mean?” Hitoya asked, confused. “Of course I want to.”
Jakurai waited a few seconds before talking again. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you so relaxed since I came here.” The faint light from outside reflected in Jakurai’s blue eyes.
“I just want you to enjoy your staying here and…”
“I’m not here to play tourist in a city I already know, Hitoya.” Jakurai interrupted him. “I’m here to see you.”
His calm but firm voice made Hitoya take a step to get back inside the bedroom. He left the cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand and stopped right in front of Jakurai.
Jakurai raised his head to meet Hitoya’s gaze and, even in the darkness, it was clear he was smiling in a reassuring way. “The restaurant is not that important.” A slender hand caressed his exposed forearm. “We can stay at home.”
Hitoya chased that light touch as if it was guiding him through the darkness. He had been able to make a reservation in that restaurant only because of his assistant’s connections. It would be hard to get another opportunity next time. And yet… the idea of just staying inside, spoiled by that glimpse of domesticity, was enough to make him lose any interest in the elegant evening he had planned. After a long moment, he sighed. “Only as long as you’re doing the cooking.”
“Don’t worry, Hitoya.” Jakurai whispered as he brought Hitoya’s hand to his lips to kiss it fondly. “I’ll take care of everything.”