Chapter Text
This is Jeno’s first holiday season spent on his own in the big apple. Admittedly, it is a bit lonesome. Not having any close friends or family to have around is unfortunate, especially when Christmas is when one should be cozied up in a house full of love, chatter, and the smell of delicious home made food. Instead, Jeno is spending his Christmas Eve in a small cafe a few blocks from his wildly expensive yet small apartment.
He’s been here since late afternoon, watching people trickle in and out to grab a drink warm enough to shield them from the cold. There’s no solid reason why he decided to come here on a day like this, no reason why he’s stayed until he’s the very last customer in the cafe. He could honestly do his readings at home, relaxed in his bed and under some blankets. But somehow, walking here and spending a few bucks on a latte with the weirdly therapeutic commotion in the background seemed like a good idea when he woke up this morning.
Does he regret it though? Not one bit. And maybe it’s because the coffee is the best he’s tasted. Maybe it’s because it’s nice to have at least some strangers to fill his loneliness. Or maybe it’s because of the barista that’s been here as long as he has.
Across the room, the tall man is preparing for closing, wiping down tables and fixing chairs. Jeno has been keeping an eye on him since he served him his coffee and chicken wraps. It wasn’t on purpose, though. His eyes just seem to always gravitate toward him whenever Jeno would take a break from reading. And whenever he does, there’s always a kind smile stretched across his face, one that reaches his stunning brown eyes.
Jeno should feel embarrassed that he’s basically fawning over some random man that he only spoke a few words to. He should feel embarrassed since the said man has already caught him staring more than enough times. Even now as they’re the only two people left in the cafe, Jeno’s seen how the pretty barista has been glancing at him from time to time.
Honestly, at this point, Jeno has two options—finally leave the cafe and walk his loser ass home or actually talk to the guy and make a move.
Yeah, okay.
Biting his lip, Jeno begins to gather his belongings. He’s lucky his clumsy self didn’t bring too much with him today. Simply a book, his phone, and his keys. He shoves the two smaller items in his pocket and clutches the book in his hand after throwing on his coat. With a deep breath, he picks up his empty mug, spoon clattering loudly.
“You can just leave that on the counter,” the barista says, surprising Jeno.
There goes my conversation starter.
Awkwardly, he does as told. As he places the mug down, he turns again to look at the man who’s still wiping the table.
Jeno knows he should probably go and save himself from further embarrassment, but something in him just really wants to try his chances with him. It shows in the way his feet are now shuffling over to the barista and how he taps his shoulder with the slightest hesitance.
The moment the man turns around, the feelings Jeno felt when they first met eyes earlier today come rushing back—his gaze is wide in awe and he’s rendered rather speechless. White blond hair framing his well sculpted face, the barista is quite the spectacle. His features are sharp yet soft, he looks intimidating yet friendly.
Feeling as if he’s staring a bit too long, Jeno blinks a few times before shifting his sights down to the name tag on his pin-decorated apron.
Jaemin.
“Hi.” The greeting sounds a bit foolish when it comes out of Jeno’s mouth. It’s breathy, as if the man standing before him took his breath away, which is a very likely explanation considering Jaemin really is breathtaking.
“Hello.” There it is. That kind smile that warmed Jeno’s cold cheeks in the beginning.
“Uhm… I just…”
Fuck. What am I even supposed to say?
There was no plan for this, no end goal when he decided to start up a conversation with Jaemin. He probably should’ve thought of what to say before coming here, but instead, here he is, looking stupid.
“Hi?” Jeno greets him again out of nowhere. He internally facepalms himself for proving his stupidity. Jaemin laughs at it, at him.
God, I should’ve just left.
“You’re not too good at talking to people, are you?”
“No…”
“Well, lucky for you, I am.” Grinning wider, the barista holds out a hand. “I’m Jaemin.”
“I knew that.” Dude?! “I mean– I read your nametag.”
“I see. Well, what’s your name?”
Crap, what is my name? “J…eno?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I-I’m sure. Jeno is… my name.”
Jaemin laughs yet again, and damn is it a pretty laugh. Just as pretty as the owner. Jeno almost forgets that the reason he’s laughing is because he’s so incredibly fucking awkward. He’ll probably have to live with this memory haunting him until he’s six feet under.
“Nice to meet you, Jeno. You’ve been in the cafe for quite a while. Did you enjoy your book?”
Book? What book– “Oh! Oh, yeah it was pretty good. I might have to reread it.”
That was a half-lie. Jeno doesn’t remember much of the book’s contents. With every word his eyes scanned over, he was thinking more about Jaemin, imagining him as the love interest in the book while Jeno himself is the main character. That sounds absolutely crazy, but he truly is a bit insane normally. So reading it again because it’s good? Nope. Reading it again because he literally doesn’t recall shit? Yep.
“You should definitely come back here again when you do. Or you can also come back even with a different book or for other reasons.”
“I’ll consider it. Thank you,” Jeno says, finally responding like a normal person.
“Of course. You’re always welcome here. It’s nice to have a cute face around.”
“Cute? Me?”
“Yeah. I’ve been stealing glances at you as much as you’ve been stealing glances at me.”
“I knew that.” God, really?
For the third time, Jaemin laughs at him. It’s on one part dreadful because it’s proof that Jeno’s being a real idiot right now. But, also, Jeno doesn’t mind. He likes Jaemin’s laugh, wants to hear it all the time. Is that too soon?
“Hm… Are you just about to head home?”
“Uh, yeah. You?”
“Yep. Just gotta finish closing.”
“Right.”
“Do you want something to take home? I can make you a quick hot chocolate.”
“Oh no, it’s okay! It’s already, what,” Jeno takes a look at his watch, “11:03 pm. I don’t want to have you do anything else when you’re supposed to be clocked out by now.”
Right, he’s supposed to be clocked out by now… Shit?
“Shit, that probably means I should get out of your hair. I’m so sorry–”
“No, hey. It’s totally fine. I don’t mind at all. Like I said, it’s nice having a cute face around.”
“O-Oh.”
“I’ll make you that hot chocolate. No need to pay.”
“Jaemin–”
Already making his way back behind the counter, the white crowned man ignores Jeno’s protests. “Just pay me back by walking me home, what do you say?”
Jeno is taken aback by the suggestion, cheeks turning the same shade of red as the cup Jaemin’s writing on. Meanwhile, the other man is waiting patiently for a response, unmoving.
Jeno has his answer, had it the moment the question was asked. He just has to find a way to verbalize it. Clearing his throat and swallowing his heart, he finally croaks out, “Okay.”
The sidewalks in New York are not all too big. On normal days, they’d be packed with people rushing and pushing one another just to get to the places they need to be. However, since it is late on Christmas Eve and everyone is in their homes with their loved ones, the streets of New York (at least in this part of town) are empty. Barely any cars, practically no one outside—just Jeno and Jaemin.
Regardless of the emptiness of the sidewalks, the two boys stick close together, arms brushing against each other with every movement. Jeno isn’t sure if they’re both to blame for their unnecessary closeness. The only thing he knows is that he’s subconsciously keeping his steps near, using the cold as an excuse to make sure there’s zero distance between them. Jaemin doesn’t seem to mind anyways as he continues to lead the conversation.
They’ve been walking for a while now, and Jeno’s actually gotten a bit less awkward with his responses. So far, he’s learned that Jaemin is indeed really good at talking. Listening to him and adding on to what he says is easy. His voice is really nice too—low and slow. A Busan dialect comes out every now and then as well, and it just makes everything so much better, so much more attractive.
God, is Jaemin really attractive. Jeno was already aware of that when it was his turn in line but now it’s actually insane how beautiful he is. Everything about the man lures Jeno deeper into fascination—the perfect angles of his face that are highlighted ethereally by the streetlights, the smell of coffee mixed with citrus and a woody musk on clothes that hug his body in all the right places, the sheer comfort that he just radiates that makes one want to walk endless paths with him.
Maybe Jeno is getting a bit too ahead of himself with all these thoughts and perceptions of Jaemin. They only met eight hours ago, only started talking for not even one. But as the bookworm he is, falling head first in less than a day seems just about right, especially since it’s for a barista that can make a mean latte.
“Yeah, I’ve been here since I was around nine. I don’t remember much of Busan, though. Everything is a bit hazy,” Jaemin says as Jeno watches fog escape his mouth.
“Really? I wouldn’t be able to tell with how fluent you are.”
“Ah, yeah. My parents rarely spoke English around me so all conversions in our household were in Korean.”
“Are your parents still in the States?”
“No, they moved back to Busan. They missed it a lot, and I don’t blame them. Although I don’t remember much, I do remember how nice it was to be there. New York’s too busy and crowded for people like them.”
“True. Why didn’t you go back with them?”
“I’m trying to get into med school, hence why I’m working long hours on the holidays. No money, no degree.”
“I see. You want to be a doctor? Kinda hot.” I did not just say that…
“You think doctors are hot?” Jaemin asks with an amused grin.
“No, I– I don’t think all doctors are hot. I just–”
“You think I’m not.”
“What? I didn’t say– You– Next topic, please.”
Jaemin laughs again. He sure laughs a lot, not that Jeno’s complaining. “Hey, I think you’re pretty hot too.”
Jeno bites down a smile as Jaemin bumps his hip into his. “Thank you, I guess.”
“You are very welcome. Though, you’re more cute than you are hot. And take that as a compliment.”
“Oh, shut up. I’m just… awkward.”
“Which is exactly what makes you so cute.”
“Next topic, please!”
“Geez, can’t a guy flirt?”
Flirt… The word sends blood rushing to Jeno’s freezing cheeks. It hasn’t really registered in his mind that the guy he’s interested in is showing interest right back. It’s not news, of course. To someone else with a less frazzled mind, they’d probably catch on the moment Jaemin asked to be walked home in exchange for a cup of hot chocolate that was never requested in the first place. Speaking of, Jeno should really drink some so he can hide how flustered he is. He can’t embarrass himself more when things are going so well.
“Okay, hm… What’s your New York story? You told me you moved here only earlier this year.”
Swallowing, Jeno replies, “Yeah, I, uh, needed a change. Being in Korea all my life felt so… monotonous? Every day was the same. Besides, all my friends moved abroad too and they kept talking about how fun it is to be in a place that’s so different from what you’re used to. So after college, I started looking for places to live. In the books I’d read, city life was so glamorized. I really wanted to see if it’d suit me, and now here I am.”
“Wow… what an inspiring journey,” Jaemin half-jokes, causing them both to chuckle. “So you’re here alone?”
“Yep. I haven’t made many friends since I came here, which is why I’m spending Christmas by myself. I could’ve joined my coworkers at the company party, but parties aren’t really my thing. I’m a homebody that likes his solitude.”
“What brought you to the cafe then? You know, since you like your solitude.”
“Just felt like it. Plus, having an atmosphere like that was nice while reading. It made me feel less alone for the holidays.”
Jaemin nods understanding. “Hey, you’re not alone now. You got me.”
“And you got me.”
Something about telling each other these things feels so intimate. The silence that follows after only adds on to it, shoulders now maintaining their contact instead of just brushing up against one another. In Jeno’s peripheral vision, he can see how a corner of Jaemin’s lips tug upward, twinkling gaze trained forward.
The rest of the walk stays that way—quiet yet relaxed. Jeno drinks his hot chocolate in the meantime, both hands surrounding the cup to keep his hands warm. He just kind of wishes that it was Jaemin’s hands that were doing so instead.
Soon enough, they both come to a halt in front of an apartment building. It’s not too shabby from the outside. It’s clean but modest, somewhere an aspiring med student would typically live. It’s not too far from where Jeno resides either. He makes sure to take a mental note of that.
“This is me,” Jaemin says, turning to face Jeno completely. “Thank you for walking me home. I hope I, like, didn’t take you farther away from where you live. I could call you a cab if so–”
“Oh, no need. I’m just two blocks away.”
“Ah, that’s good. Thank God. I don’t want you walking too far.”
“It’s fine. Walking is nice. Walking with you is… really nice.”
“Same here.” Jaemin smiles, except it’s not one that Jeno’s seen yet today. This one’s different. This one has a certain something in it, a certain something that makes Jeno’s heart beat the fastest it’s gone all day. “Let’s do this again sometime.”
Not a question, but a statement. A hopeful one. Jeno’s eyes curve into crescents. “I’d love to.”
“Good,” Jaemin says, going on his tippy toes for a second before coming back down and checking the watch on his wrist. He seems to be waiting, concentrated on the hands of the clock ticking. And after a bit, he drops his hand and turns back with the same joy. “Merry Christmas, Jeno.”
There, in that moment, Jeno feels his heart stop. He feels his stomach flip, feels the tiny versions of himself going berserk in his brain.
Jeno’s one for the smaller things, things that may seem trivial and feeble to others, things like tiny notes or handmade gifts or randomly showing their appreciation for you. In this case, Jaemin is the first to greet Jeno on Christmas, the holiday to be shared with those you hold close to you, the holiday that they both were supposed to spend alone. Jaemin is the first to greet him, happily and brightly, even counting down the seconds leading to it.
With a growing smile, soft and sincere, Jeno finds himself really comforted, being pulled into a grounding embrace even if not physically.
“Merry Christmas to you too, Jaemin."
“Get home safe, okay? Text me.”
“Will do.”
“Good night.” Slowly taking steps backward into the building, Jaemin seems reluctant to leave. Still, he forces himself to do so, but not before Jeno says ‘good night’ as well.
When it’s said and done and Jaemin’s long gone, all Jeno can do is stay in his same spot on the sidewalk. A part of him wants the man to come running back out so they can continue talking, continue wandering the emptiness of the city. But the other part of him knows it’s best that he gets his rest after working so hard. He can text him if he misses him so much anyways.
Wait. Did he even give him his number?
A bit frantic, Jeno checks the pockets of his jacket. He checks between the pages of his book as well. Nothing.
It isn’t until his eyes happen to glance over his cup that he sees it. Scribbled in black marker is Jaemin’s digits and a cute doodle of a snowman. Jeno giggles at the sight. He brings the cup to his chest and takes a deep exhale out.
Nodding, he finally turns back around to head home. If he’s hopping every few strides and imagining his next meeting with Jaemin like a fool, that’s no one’s business but his. There’s no one around to see him like this anyways.