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Clutching Leia's arm, Luke raised the bottle of corellian whiskey and shouted, "Long live the Empire" to the passing stormtroopers. They didn't look at him twice. Why would they? They were just two drunken idiots, nearly passed out from the Empire Day celebration.
Leia burst into giggles, then hiccups, and between them slurred, "This was a terrible idea, Luke. It's all going to go wrong and it'll be your fault."
"Live a little," Luke said, swaying from side to side. The Force always felt funky when he became drunk, and normally, he did try to avoid it but today— "It's our birthday!"
"Happy Birthday!" Leia hollered at the next passing control. "Damn it, where is Han? He said he'd be here. I need more alcohol."
"Mhhmm," Luke agreed, his eyes irritatingly heavy as if a great beat had decided to pull on them. "To kriff with him! We don't need no smuggler."
"But I like him," Leia whined. "He lets me drink."
"True," Luke agreed. "Happy Birthday to us."
They watched a harried imperial officer rush by on wobbly legs. He too was clearly inebriated.
"I think you're right," Luke said. "Something terrible is about to happen."
"It always does," Leia mumbled. "Let me sleep. I'm tired. Chewie drank all the caf."
"You drank all the caf! I was there. I had none. Let me sleep."
Their squabble was interrupted by the loud rhythmic sound of a ventilator and together, they turned in horror.
"We're kriffed," Leia said, then waved cheerfully. "Hi! You're not supposed to be here. Imperials ought to be off celebrating."
Somewhere through the drunken haze, Luke felt the familiar vestige of panic, but it was tempered with something else, a strange familiarity. Was that the Force? His lightsaber certainly didn't want to respond to his fumbling fingers.
Across from them, Darth Vader remained frozen, seemingly just as shocked as them.
"My lord?" prompted the officer. "Do you know these vagrants?"
"Why does he always have to ruin everything?" Leia whined. "It's our birthday. You're supposed to be off prancing with the kriffing Emperor. Come on, just one day. Is that really too much."
"You killed my father," Luke announced and finally managed to ignite his blade.
The sight of a lightsaber must have shocked Vader out of his stupor as it was violently wrenched out of his grip and sailed through the air before landing in Vader's black fists. "Arrest them. I will take custody of these rebels."
"Rebels?" the officer mumbled. "Surely not."
"We'll escape. I can blow up another trash compactor," Leia consoled him.
"When we're sober," Luke grumbled.
They were so screwed.
Vader despised Empire Day with a passion that could rival the fires of Mustufar. Naturally, that meant that the Emperor ensured his day was filled with the most mundane bullshit. This year, with his failure regarding the Death Star, Palpatine had been particularly vindictive, doing his best to find the most ridiculous issues spread far and wide.
On Corellia, Palpatine had been particularly inspired. The planet was drunk off their ass, their collective inebriation ringing through the Force like a hammer to his skull.
But the Force clearly worked in mysterious ways because instead of catching a petty criminal who was vandalizing the bathrooms, he found his son... and his apparent girlfriend.
Vader leaned back in his shuttle, watching his very drunk son prattle on to Organa regarding possible escape attempts. The two of them had been incessant ever since their arrest. Normally, he would silence them forcibly, but this was his son. Organa though, she could be disposed of. He should dispose of her before Luke's attachment grew and she led him into trouble.
Unfortunately, the part of him which had once been called Skywaker, made it rather apparent how utterly terrible of an idea it was to force the issue. He would need to be subtle if he wished to succeed splitting them apart instead of driving his son further away and into his girlfriend's arms.
"I hate you," Organa slurred. "Don't you know you're not supposed to ruin birthdays? It's rude."
"You are a terrorist. It is not your right to lecture others on civility," he snarled. "Although if you wish to continue to prattle, perhaps you could be of some use instead and explain how this all happened."
"All what?" Luke asked as he shifted forward as if to protect Organa from his gaze. "Aren't you the Supreme Commander. Why were you on Corellia?"
"I heard of rebels," Vader lied through his teeth. He was never going to admit to the real task he had been given.
"Bull...shit," Organa said, drawing out the word to a ridiculous length. "Nobody knew where we were coming. There are no rebels on Corellia."
"Then why were you on Corellia if not for being a rebel?"
She blinked. "Because Han said they had the best alcohol and we wanted to get drunk."
"You—" Vader lowered his hand with great difficulty. He could not choke his son's girlfriend. It would make an even more terrible first impression. "You are a terrible influence on Skywalker."
"Nu-uh," Luke whined. "It was my idea. Uncle Owen never allowed me to drink. And it's my birthday."
"So she just enabled your idiocy," Vader growled. "If one of you had been sober, I would actually have needed to try to apprehend you."
"Everyone should be allowed to be drunk on their birthday," Luke said wisely.
The Force gave him a rather painful nudge, and he looked back at Organa as he suddenly remembered a rather noteworthy element of her file. Today was her birthday as well. What were the chances?
"You have the same birthday," Vader mumbled. Surely, it meant nothing. Out of the billions in the galaxy, it was only natural that they would find others who would share the same birthday.
"Maybe everyone born on Empire day is Force sensitive," Luke said with a tone of wisdom only a drunkard could manage. "It would be much easier to escape if we were both Jedi."
"You are not escaping."
Organa leaned backwards. "Don't be silly, Luke. I'm no Jedi, I don't have fancy mind powers like you."
"But how do you know? I spent eighteen years convinced I was a normie until Ben showed me. You have to close your eyes and feel really hard. It's like a sneeze!"
Filtering out the mindless prattle, Vader focused on the important part. Ben, not Obi-Wan, had taught him to be a Jedi? But Luke had been with Obi-Wan on the Death Star. He had thought his old master would have trained the child he had stolen as soon as he could walk. He had brushed off Luke's lack of skill as his former master's incompetence. Apparently, not.
Organa's nose crinkled as if she were to sneeze and a sudden force blast sent him flying into the wall.
"Huh," she said.
His head ringing, Vader staggered to his feet and called on the Force to stop the two of them, but they were already scampering through the door. Of course, it wasn't like the could escape the shuttle eas—
The ship lurched, and it was only through the power of the Force that remained standing. He pushed his way into the corridor as the ship jolted again. They were being fired upon.
He rushed to the rear where the loading deck was slowly lowering. The cursed Millenium Falcon dove beneath the shuttle, and he watched in horror as Luke grabbed Organa's hand and jumped out.
Cursing to himself, he rushed back to the cockpit to get his ship back under control as he signaled the Exactor to stop all outgoing traffic, especially the Corellian light freighter.
Already, he knew it was for naught. This wasn't the first time that particular trio had slipped past an imperial blockade. They seemed to make a sport of it.
Ten minutes later as he landed the shuttle, his Admiral pinged him to let him know the ship had escaped.
He groaned and reached out in the Force for his son's elusive presence, but this time, he noticed the small flickering dim candle obscured by Luke's overwhelming brightness. Organa was Force-sensitive, and he had never noticed. How?
A Force-sensitive with the same birthday as his son. She was powerful too, knocking him back with the weight of her anger. She would fall far easier than Luke ever would, but there were only ever two Siths. He could not take both on, and he refused to sacrifice his son.
Closing his eyes, he leaned back in his seat and pondered on the implication as he dialed Dr. Aphra's comm.
"Hey, Boss," she chirped.
"Your bounty includes Leia Organa now. Ensure she does not come to undue harm but prioritize attaining a blood sample."
Leia... It was a name his wife had been so fond of.