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When she confessed to him on the balcony that night, her hair dancing in the warm summer Jeju breeze, it was like both his most intimate dream and worst nightmare had come true. He felt like the world was coming down on him. Like Lady Luck was pointing and laughing at him from just around the corner.
The very first time they met, in Attorney Jung’s office, Min Woo had noticed she was pretty. Of course he had. It was impossible to overlook those big doe eyes, plush red lips, and feathery bangs that framed her face in a way that made her look innocent. Then she spoke. Min Woo forgot who sniped at whom first, but it would be a good guess to say it was him. Probably calling into question her expertise or not making a great first impression in front of the CEO, and she had sniped back and Min Woo was left surprised to hear biting words come from such an innocent face. Good, he had thought, he would have somebody who could keep him on his toes.
After Young Woo joined, Min Woo got to see another side of her. The one that helped Young Woo go through the revolving door even after bitching about her the whole elevator ride. The one that opened water bottle caps for her, yelled at the interns when they laughed at Young Woo, yelled at him for rightly pointing out she had an unfair advantage. And at first, Min Woo was frustrated at Su Yeon for helping somebody stronger than her, and putting him at a disadvantage in turn. But Young Woo was not really stronger than Su Yeon was she? Sure, she always came first in University and had a photographic memory, but Su Yeon was the daughter of a Supreme Court Justice. Even if her contract didn’t get renewed at Hanbada, she could easily find a job at another firm. She was smart and quick-witted, but those were only added bonuses to the silver spoon she was born with in her mouth. So of course she was nice. It was easy to be nice when life was easy to you.
Min Woo learned from a young age that it was a dog eat dog world, unless you were the top dog. Then you could do whatever you wanted. Min Woo didn’t want to do whatever he wanted, he only wanted to take care of his parents who had worked themselves sick to give him a better future. So he resolved to do whatever it took to make it. He wore new and expensive suits to work everyday but inside he was still sporting raggedy old underwear and socks with holes in them. He bought the best cologne and hair gel from the store but took it out of his food budget for the month. He got a roommate and sent the rent money he saved to his parents.
The other side he got to see of Su Yeon, after Young Woo joined, was her fun side. When she laughed at something Jun Ho said. When she reminisced their college days with Young Woo across the lunch table. When she smiled at a text she got on her phone after going on a blind date the previous night. Min Woo absolutely hated it, because she never smiled at him like that. Her face fell instantly when he joined a conversation, a frown mark permanently etched between her perfectly manicured eyebrows. Min Woo wanted to tell her that she would get wrinkles at this rate because he knew girls cared about that kind of stuff and he didn’t want her to be upset when she was 40.
So naturally, when she inadvertently confessed her feelings to him that night on the balcony, Min Woo’s mind and heart spoke two different languages. The heart soared, it sang, it started drumming to a beat he had never heard before. The mind started spinning, like cogs of an intricate wheel, turning to churn out the tactical advantage to be gained from this. Min Woo was ashamed of how quickly the thought came to his mind. How easy his life would be if he bagged the daughter of a Supreme Court Justice. He wouldn’t have to worry about his parents anymore, they could get treated in the best hospital in Seoul, he could buy them an apartment closer to the city, he could buy new underwear.
Almost instantly, his heart stopped beating. Min Woo could almost hear it breaking in the pin drop silence that had taken over them in the balcony. It said to his brain– you did it again. You ruined it. This is why you can’t have anything nice.
Min Woo didn’t even know if getting together with Su Yeon to get a share of her privilege was something he would seriously consider, but it didn’t matter. The thought had already occurred. His mind was already polluted. There was no way he could pursue a relationship with Su Yeon now without wondering to himself if he was doing it for the right reasons. And she didn’t deserve that.
So, as Min Woo stared at her in silence, the internal battle between taking a step forward into Sunlight, into Su Yeon and taking a step backward into the dark lonely road he was used to quieted down.
Tomorrow he would tell Su Yeon that they were both drunk, that they should just forget about it and they would never speak of this again.