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The first time you heard a voice in your mind that was recognizably not your own, you were still relatively young - and outright thrilled. You knew precisely what it was and what it meant - the voice you were hearing was your soulmate’s. Soulmates were connected by thoughts, particularly kind ones, being in their voice, and you knew immediately that the girl’s voice commenting on your skill was the one you were meant to meet. In your head, she sounded every bit as delighted as you felt. She was joyous, a cheerful companion that you hadn’t yet met, and you tried to memorize her voice so you’d know it right away when you met her for real.
It was such a happy experience that it took you a while to notice something decidedly unexpected and perhaps not ideal. Your soulmate’s voice had the distinctive warble of a seadweller’s, which was…a little unfortunate as well as surprising. The sheer gap in the spectrum, aside from the bigotry and issues you didn’t really understand at that age, would likely be an issue - even simply based on how long you two would live. But almost more importantly, you had no clue how to find your soulmate. Seadwelling trolls didn’t often come on land except to harass landdwellers, and while your bond ensured that you would meet, you worried it might take quite some time.
And as you’d worried, you didn’t find her anywhere. Not in your youth, adolescence, or adulthood, well past the point where it was typical to not have met your soulmate. Your time as a free troll, a slave, and in the rebellion all yielded you nothing regarding her. You searched as much as you could, but for all her encouragement inside your head, she was nowhere. No violet lady answered in her voice if they answered your little cadre. And it was continually frustrating, continually lonely.
You simply saw no sign of her in the long sweeps of your youth, your slavery, or your adventures with the rebellion. The closest you got, to your horror, was the Condesce - the day you were captured, and you heard her voice, your heart plunged. But she didn’t quite match the voice in your mind, either - she was merely close to it enough to scare the hell out of you. And soon after, you gave up as you sped away from Alternia in the Battleship Condescension. You didn’t figure you would ever meet her; in your case, fate was somehow broken and wrong. You were the one troll who’d never know.
And thousands of sweeps later, as the Vast Glub swept over you like a tidal wave, you truly believed that you were right. There was no chance, now - even if you survived the Glub, she certainly wouldn’t. She was the only comfort you’d had in the endless time of powering the ship, an infinite wellspring of kindness and support in the crushing pain and isolation. The only light you had in that darkness was her, a troll you’d never met and never would. You died, at least, with a friendly voice comforting you until the end. You’d long since accepted that you would never meet her, but her absence left a final sting of loneliness accompanying her comfort.
And then you wake up sprawled on a lawnring, bathed in the oddly not-burning sun, limp as a wet noodle and completely confused. A troll looking all too eerily like you but smaller rushes out mere seconds later, yelling into a palmhusk at some troll named Karkat that he should get his fronds in gear real fucking quick because ‘it’ was happening again. Judging by the fact that he immediately hefts you into the air with psionics to bring you inside, you assume by ‘it,’ he means you showing up. Alive. Fucking somehow. You could break free easily, even so disoriented, but you just let yourself be carried - the odd mini-you doesn’t seem dangerous.
In the next few minutes, you find out that your welcomer is called Sollux and receive a briefing on the overall situation from a young troll who looks alarmingly like Signless if he was tiny and fueled by petty hatred. He informs you of a few things you’ll need to know now that you’re alive again. Firstly, his name is Karkat, and secondly, you’re not on Alternia anymore. This is a new world created by the actions of a dozen trolls, some assorted aliens, and - indirectly - yourself, your peers, and others. Everyone involved, even loosely so, is being revived from death and given potentially infinite new lives as rewards for their actions - and your sacrifices.
You’re not the first to come back. You most likely won’t be the last, though the order in which you’re returned seems somewhat random. Signless and Dolorosa aren’t back yet - but multiple names you haven’t heard before, Death’s Handmaid, Her Imperious Condescension, and the Disciple are already back. Once you’ve gotten your head together and your tongue untied, the first thing you do is ask to see Disciple. You miss her; you haven’t seen her in so long and want to see her again. Thankfully, that’s easy enough to arrange - and you receive the rest of the explanation from your dear friend while being hugged like you’ll vanish if you let go.
The others make themselves scarce quickly as soon as you’re together - enough that you don’t get the name of the troll or the alien girl, apparently known as a human, who brought her to you so fast. She informs you more about this world - how the sun is lovely on the skin rather than burning, how the hemospectrum is mostly irrelevant, how there are different aliens on this planet, and other such details. You half pay attention, just engrossed for a long moment in seeing such a dear friend again. You trail your fingers through her hair as she speaks, ask her questions occasionally, and just listen to her talk like old times for the first time in thousands of sweeps.
When she’s done, you don’t let the others know. Instead, you just relax together until Sollux returns to reclaim his living space from your cuddling. Disciple brings you to her hive instead of leaving you with your apparent descendant, where she promises you can stay until you decide what you want to do. She even offers to let you remain semi- or outright permanently, cheerily informing you that she wouldn’t mind. She even lets - well, insists - you share her recuperacoon, and she keeps both arms tight around you for the next several hours while you get some overdue rest.
Within the next few nights, Signless and Dolorosa show up, and you greet them with every ounce of the glee Disciple gave you. Seeing Disciple and Signless, your dearest friends, together is fucking joyful, and seeing how their love weirds out their descendants a little is also hilarious. But in some way, it reminds you of your somewhat-forgotten soulmate. You can only guess she is or soon will be one of the revived - all the actual survivors are pretty young compared to you, so it’s likely none of them. You’re immortal now, and the average troll of Earth C is not, so you also doubt it’s any of them. And if you were really never meant to meet, you can’t imagine you would have ever heard her.
For weeks, you let the thought fall out of your mind as you adjust to this peaceful new world. In adulthood, you stopped paying attention to your soulmate aside from taking joy and comfort in the voice. Now, you fall back into that habit - her voice is pleasant as ever, but you don’t return to seeking her. Even when the last of you older trolls, this one from a planet called Beforus, comes back, you can’t muster the desire to find out if any of them are yours. As you understand, the newest arrival is the Dolorosa’s counterpart…and arguably even scarier, so you elect to leave her be. For a while, you remain uninvolved. You’re content to stay home with your friends and merely recover from your long ordeal.
You’re not the only one merely resting; the only visitor you have is the Handmaid - the closest to understanding your former situation among the Alternian trolls. The two of you exchange Trollian handles, and true to your hopes, talking to her does help. So does the voice in your mind, even more active and joyous than usual. You take your time adjusting, not searching, focusing on healing. Rebuilding your friendships and building a family - you’re surrounded by them now. Your descendant Sollux, Mituna - a clone of you, Sollux’s ancestor Bifurcated, and half-Sollux half-someone-else Erisol.
It’s an odd feeling to be surrounded by people with friends and family and slowly rebuilding your old kismesis with Signless and moirallegience with Disciple along with your friendship with Handmaid, but it’s quite a pleasant one. Until, at least, something shakes you from your peace. Sollux has his ex - matesprit or moirail, you’re not sure - over to chat. You assume this is another of the many reconciliations and catchups that have been happening since your revival. It just so happens that the two of you showed up to visit Sollux simultaneously. And her voice, when you hear the two talking, startles the shit out of you because it sounds exactly like your soulmate’s did when you were both young. You almost fumble the coffee you were making even though you’d mostly regained your coordination after the first few days of your new life.
Her ancestor is the Condesce, but she also has a Beforan counterpart. You’re pretty sure you know exactly who your soulmate is now. Sollux finds you in the kitchen, and you end up telling him what’s going through your head - partly because you’ve been avoiding the Peixes family thanks to the Condesce, even though they’re distant with her at best, and she’s effectively powerless in this new world. Sollux was also profoundly affected by the actions of the Condesce - but he was never so directly affected by her and feels more than comfortable around the rest of them.
Thus, the two of you agree on a plan. Sollux will go to the Peixes family and offer to send their version of the Empress - known as Empress Radiance, reportedly rather kind and merely trying to make amends for her past mistakes - to your hive because you’d just like to talk to her. Making your peace with the innocent members of the family and all, which isn’t necessarily untrue. Even if you’re wrong, you’d like to make your peace with the members of that family who didn’t hurt you. Radiance hasn’t happened to find her soulmate either, though she’s pale with Signless’s counterpart and ex-flushed with your counterpart, currently separated due to drama. Which all is more than a little bit of a funny coincidence given your history and that of your descendant.
As soon as the plan settles, you head back to your hive and text Signless, Disciple, and Handmaid with the likely good news and your ideas. They’re overjoyed for you and your probable luck and are more than available if you need help or support. All three of them are familiar with your history with the Peixes by now, and it’s not like any of them have had a positive relationship with the Condesce. Signless has even talked about meeting Radiance as friends before, but it didn’t happen yet - so you figure your backup plan is workable too. Thankfully, the wait to meet her is short.
The human Jade, seemingly designated teleporting taxi for a lot of the group, appears outside the window, waves, and then teleports away again. You know she can teleport other people at range without going along, but you guess she’s either having fun or wanted to say hi. Knowing she’s there, anxious now that the moment is so close, you head down to the door. Steadying your fronds is a challenge for the first time in a while, but you manage. You swing it open as soon as she knocks, and ex-Empress Radiance grins at you. She looks less like the Condesce than you would have expected, if primarily because she’s dressed in bright colors and relatively light on the jewelry and bangles that defined her Alternian counterpart.
“Hey! I heard you wanted to say hi?” She asks, sticking out her hand for you to shake, and in that precise moment, you know.
You just fucking know it’s her. The one you’ve been hearing, half waiting for, even if you stopped letting yourself be too invested a long time ago - it’s definitely her, Empress Radiance. The mere sound of her voice has left you without a damn doubt in your mind, even though you’re so often a skeptic. You nod silently, struck wordless like a goddamn fool, and shake her hand before you speak.
“Yes, yeah, come on in,” you offer as you let go of her hand, almost stumbling over your words, and you see her eyes go huge.
“It’s you!” Radiance exclaims, stepping up to hug you - seemingly remembering something or another and pausing for just enough time for you to nod before she sweeps you into a tight, warm hug.
You hug her back, though not as tightly as she’s holding you.
“How’d you know?” She asks, without letting go - though you manage to pull her back into your hive and swing it shut with your psionics behind you two.
“Lucky guess and Feferi sounds like you; I’ve heard the Condesce too,” you respond, and Radiance laughs, the same laugh you’ve heard in the back of your mind since you were but a pupa.
“I heard Sollux and Bifurcated, and I didn’t guess - you’re really clever!” She exclaims, and you can’t help but laugh as well.
“Guess I’m lucky, more like. Fuck, I didn’t think I’d get to meet you,” you blurt out, hugging Radiance a little tighter.
She’s warm for a seadweller and soft, like hugging a pillow, even more than Signless, who was more like hugging a hot water bottle.
“I didn’t think I’d get to meet you either…and I don’t really want to let go,” she admits and laughs.
“Neither do I,” you answer.
“Let’s stay like this for a while,” she suggests.
She steers you both over to the couch after glancing over your shoulder without letting you go and carefully sits you down. You lean into her, and you can’t help but purr like a happy little wiggler. She feels so familiar even though you two have never met, and you know it’s because you’ve been hearing her for so damn long. You relax and then say.
“I don’t know about you, but I think I’d be happy to stay like this for a while.”
She slowly messes with your hair, smiling like she’s just won the jackpot, the most peaceful expression you’ve ever seen on a member of her family.
“So would I,” she hums.
You settle in to simply stay with her for a while, and she relaxes - now that you’ve got her, you don’t want to leave her side, and you have the feeling she feels the same about you. Sorting things out and spreading good news can wait - for now, you just want to enjoy this long-overdue moment.