Chapter Text
One - Lily Potter
I can still remember the day Hari was born vividly. The moment I looked into Hari’s eyes, I knew that memory would forever be my happiest. The one I used to summon my Patronus. Nothing that happened in the past - my first wand, my Hogwarts graduation, my wedding - or the future - becoming a Charms Mistress, getting to be Remus’ maid of honour when Sirius finally proposes, our eventual victory over Voldemort. Nothing, nothing , would top it.
And that memory, my daughter’s eyes, is what gives me the courage to look the most dangerous man alive straight in the eyes and say, “Not Hari, kill me instead.”
“Stand aside!”
“No, not Hari. Please, not Hari.” I’m begging now. I hate that I have to plead with this vile man. But I’m still standing strong. I won’t let him hurt my baby girl. He will have to pry my daughter from my cold dead hands before he can damage even a single hair on her head. And as I look into his eyes, stare into the dark abyss and watch it stare back, I know he knows this. What startles me is his reaction.
He looks… almost sad? Like he doesn’t want to do this but feels he has to. Like he is the one being held at wand point. When he finally casts the killing curse, he speaks in a whisper. “Avada Kedavra.”
It’s an oddly peaceful death for such a dark curse. No pain, no injuries. I’m here one moment and the next I’m gone. Hovering for a few minutes in limbo. My soul no longer in my body but not yet moved on. If I stay too long like this I’ll become a ghost.
I wish I could watch Hari grow up, stay by her side as a ghost. It might be worth it. But eventually Hari will grow old and die and I’ll be stuck here still without my little girl. My worst nightmare.
No, I can’t be a ghost. But maybe I can stay long enough to keep Hari alive. Unbeknownst to either my daughter or my murderer, my soul stays in front of Hari’s crib. Standing strong and protecting my little girl. So when Voldemort casts his third killing curse of the night, he hits me again. And the spell backfires. You can’t kill something twice after all.
I watch with great satisfaction as his body drops to the floor. And with one last look towards my daughter, I move on to whatever comes next.
Two - Petunia Dursley
I come home after the church’s Christmas toy drive. I greet my sweet Dudley and head to the kitchen where the girl is making dinner. She stares at me. She always just stares at me. And it’s Lily’s eyes. Perfect Lily’s eyes on that stupid wizard’s face.
Judging me. I know she’s judging me. But what right does she have to judge me? She got everything. Everything! Our parents’ attention, good grades, a naturally thin body, a literal magical life! She got the boy and the money and the perfect little family! But she had to waste it all in some stupid, magic war and leave me with her stupid, magic child.
And now she’s haunting me. She wouldn’t have to haunt me if she had just survived to raise the freak herself.
She would have been better at it. She was always better at everything. She would’ve been a better mother. She should’ve been. She should have survived to rub in my face what a perfect, fucking mother she was.
I’m not supposed to outlive my baby sister. Of course the only thing perfect Lily ever did wrong in her entire goddamn life was dying. How could anyone raise a child with their dead sister’s eyes? How can I possibly be expected to be kind to this… this ghost?
The freak is a walking bad memory and she’s always staring at me. Why does she always just stare ?
I know I fucked up Lily! I know I’m still fucking up!. You can stop fucking staring at me! “Stop fucking staring at me!” The girl flinches and looks at the floor. At her scuffed shoes that I refused to replace. At the tiles I made her scrub.
She never looked me in the eye again. Not once. Not during any scolding, or beating. Not during any chore or begrudging errand.
It’s not until I find her magic book and she finally looks me in the eye again that I realise I haven’t seen those eyes in years.
It’s not until after I’ve slammed the door behind her that I realise I’ll never see those eyes, Lily’s eyes, my stupid, perfect baby sister’s eyes, ever again. I fall to the floor and my head knocks back against the door. I cry.
But I don’t open the door again.
Three - Mary Hughes
She’s too thin. She’s the most avid reader in the whole town, the most frequent visitor to my little library. And she’s definitely much too thin for a girl her age. Too thin with a small number of old, worn clothes. Probably from a poor family. Maybe even homeless. It’s not my place to pry, but I do my best to help her anyway. Snacks left out on the table in the back corner. The one she always uses. Money slidden into the covers of her favourite books. A surreptitiously misplaced pair of warm winter gloves where I know she’ll find them.
And then the world is too bright. There’s books flying through the air and clothing with embroidery that moves. And there’s a too-thin, little girl crying. And that will always be more important than whatever magical world I’ve stumbled upon.
And then there’s a little witch who drank her hot cocoa in just three gulps. Like I would change my mind and take it back at any second. And there’s a phone call with an uncle who is too quick to sign away custody of his niece to the local librarian he barely knows the name of. And there’s nightmares, and flinching at loud noises, and surprise when I’m proud of her. It’s an ugly picture and it nearly makes me the murderer of the lovely Vernon and Petunia Dursley.
Then, there’s a strange young blond girl with odd glasses and a father just as strange. There’s a magical alley and letters delivered by owl. There’s Lords and Ladies and a stuck up blond boy that is so protective of my little girl that I can’t fault him for his spoiled rotten nature. There’s a ginger chess-master, and a magical dentist’s daughter, and a boy with a stutter and a heart of gold. There’s a beauty queen and a boy that’s a bigger gossip than my aunts and two trouble-making twins. There’s a girl that always has snacks in her pocket and another that always has a witty comeback. There’s the aunt of that girl who is one of the few adults in the magical world that I trust with my little girl and her odd gaggle of friends.
There’s new holidays and two twin girls that help my daughter feel like she belongs in her culture with a simple fireworks display.
There’s a troll. And a Cerberus. And trials. And a Dark Lord. And war and prophecies and dark magical power.
There’s someone who understands my daughter better than I could ever hope to. That holds her close. That makes her smile.
There’s a ball and me and Draco’s mother sharing a knowing look when my daughter and “Lord Gaunt” make a scene.
My life is a lot more confusing now. Apparently I’m something “blessed?” And magic is real. And there are trolls, and goblins, and mermaids, and unicorns. There’s magic schools, and hierarchies, and ranks, and a Wizengamot. And my life is a lot more lively. There’s tons of children running around and a social circle of other parents and guardians. And it’s scarier. My daughter has many enemies that can do things I can’t protect her from. I can’t stop a spell or change laws or battle magical creatures.
But all of it. All of it is worth it. It will always be worth it. Because Hari isn’t too thin anymore. She has a large wardrobe and she’s stopped eating like I’m going to take the food back. My daughter is happy. And even if it confuses, or scares me, nothing is more important than that.