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1.
As a child, your outlook on the world is genuine and pure. Untainted by the expectations and norms of society. That is why some things are easier to say when you are a child.
“Thoma, I love you!” Ayato giggled, as he tackled Thoma into the sand, crushing the sand castle they built in the process.
Ayato and Thoma have known each other since birth and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since.
Today, they are playing in the sandbox together in the park as they always do. A distance away their parents are sitting on a bench chatting with each other as they keep an eye on the two small kids.
In the sandbox, the two of them were building a huge castle. They piled up the sand into a sizable hill and were in the process of decorating the building. Well, what was a sizable hill until Ayato tackled Thoma into it with a hug.
“Ayato!” Thoma exclaimed, “You crushed our castle!”
“Oh...” Ayato observed his surroundings. He was on top of Thoma on the remnants of their castle and two of them were covered in sand. “I uhh- just wanted to give you a hug,” Ayato pouted as he got up and sat on his knees in remorse.
Thoma dusted himself off and got up to give Ayato a hug, “It’s okay, next time just ask,” he consoled Ayato, “you have to help me rebuild our castle now, okay?”
“Okay!” Ayato cheered and the two happily went back to playing together. If Ayato was sure of one thing it was that he enjoyed building sandcastles with Thoma.
2.
As you get older you learn what love is. You learn the weight of the words you speak and the meaning behind them.
“I love you”
Three simple words which have a weight behind them. What exactly is love though?
Ayato always says “I love you” to his family and they say it back. He cares about his family deeply and they are very important people to him.
Ayato loves his mother.
Ayato loves his father.
Ayato loves his sister,
And he knows they love him too.
It’s Ayato’s 10th birthday and knows he’s loved by his family.
This morning, his little sister ran into his arms, bumbling with excitement as she exclaimed “Happy Birthday big brother! I love you! When can we eat the cake!?”
His mother and father handed him his birthday present accompanied by well wishes, a warm hug and quiet whispers of how much they loved him
They gave a thoughtful gift, a new calligraphy set that Ayato desperately wanted. He loves to do calligraphy and it's Ayato’s number one hobby. He enjoys it greatly and it makes him happy.
A knock on the door rang. Ayato rushed to open the door there could only be one possible person at the door-
Ayato threw open the door and was greeted by Thoma’s smiling face holding a neatly wrapped present in his hand.
“Happy birthday Ayato!” Thoma exclaimed as he flung his hands around Ayato to give him a huge hug, “here’s your present! I picked it, especially for you!” Thoma thrusted the present into Ayato’s hands.
A present from Thoma…
Ayato looked at the box held in his hands and then he looked at Thoma’s beaming face. He couldn’t help the joyous smile that crept onto his face.
Was he happy because of the present? Or was he happy that Thoma had finally arrived?
“Let’s have some cake,” Ayato clasped Thoma’s hand and dragged him into his house. He moved so fast that Thoma had to scramble to take his shoes off before he entered the house.
No further sappy lovey words were said between the two but inside Ayato knew that he loved Thoma and Thoma loved him too. He has always been there for Ayato since they were babies. Now on his tenth birthday, double digits, Thoma was here too. They would eat cake together again this year.
3.
As you get older love somewhat becomes quieter. It’s in the actions, shown through the works. It isn’t always in your face. The words “I love you” can get stuck in your throat. Sometimes, it’s easier to show, not tell.
It was late at night and Ayato and Thoma were up late studying for the midterm exams that were coming soon. The two of them were studying together in Ayato’s room.
“I’m so sleepy,” Thoma groaned as he banged his head onto the table, “I’m so tired of all these numbers.”
“Should we take a break?” Ayato asked, nudging Thoma with his elbow until Thoma looked up at him indignantly, “I can get some fruit from the kitchen for a snack?” Ayato continued after getting Thoma's attention.
“Really! That would be great! I’d definitely be refreshed after a snack,” Thoma beamed brightly.
“Okay them, wait right here, I’ll go and get some snacks,” Ayato’s mother always taught him to be a courteous host so he scurried away to bring Thoma some snacks before Thoma could protest. Ayato grabbed a range of snacks, some dried berries and fruits, baked goods like cookies, and something a bit savoury and salty. Thoma wasn’t picky but Ayato wasn’t sure what he was in the mood for so it was better to get a little of everything. Once he assembled his little platter he went back to his room.
“Thoma~!” Ayato called out as he opened the door, “Thoma I’m back-”
Oh
Ayato's words cut off as he was greeted by the sight of Thoma sleeping on the desk on top of his study material. He gently nudged Thoma’s head to the side and his head flopped down. He was clearly dead asleep. His eyes were gently closed and a little bit of droll was already sliding down.
Ayato set the snacks down and approached Thoma. Thoma already worked so hard today, he must be tired.
Not wanting to wake him up, Ayato gently hooked his arms under Thoma’s armpits. “You can’t fall asleep here,” Ayato whispered quietly as he lifted Thoma up, “you’ll ruin your books and I know you’ll grumble about it once you wake up.” Mustering a burst of strength Ayato managed to carry Thoma’s dead weight onto his bed with a heave.
Thoma must’ve been incredibly tired, even with all that movement he was still heavily asleep.
Good
Ayato manoeuvred Thoma under his blanket and tucked him into bed. Ayato gave one final look at Thoma's serene sleeping face as he made his way to the door.
“Goodnight Thoma,” Ayato said fondly as he flicked off the lights, closed the door and left Thoma alone to sleep peacefully in his room.
4.
As you get older sometimes you realise the words you keep tucked deep in your heart have to be said out loud. Even if it's difficult sometimes you have to tell the people you deeply care about what you feel.
It was graduation day. It marked an end to a chapter in one's life, the first big accomplishment most students this age will complete. A new chapter. A fresh beginning coming soon.
Despite the graduation celebrations being in full motion Ayato and Thoma were sitting far off to the side alone. Ayato was sitting with the person who has been one of the constants in his life so far. The two were having a quiet moment together reflecting on their life so far.
They were sitting on the bench together mere centimetres apart. At this moment Ayato was feeling a lot and it was difficult to put into words. Maybe it was the sentimentality that came with graduating high school or maybe it was simply Thoma’s presence. It was probably a mixture of both.
With this chapter of their life ending their paths may diverge as they pursue whatever comes next. They are growing up. They are getting older and things change but Ayato isn’t ready for even the possibility of losing this yet. He isn't ready for the possibility of losing Thoma and the time they spend together.
Thoma rambling to him after a long day, quiet movie nights together, studying into the dead of night and any mundane acts they do together. Ayato wants to continue to do the things they've always done together and maybe-
possibly-
honestly-
He wants to do more.
"Thoma, I’m in love with you,” Ayato blurted out. He was so overcome with emotion the words just fell out of his mouth.
“Ayato… I love you too?” Thoma replied with a slightly confused tone in his voice. Thoma turned to face Ayato and tilted his face in confusion.
Ayato took a second to take a deep breath and come to terms with what he just confessed. Well, he's already said it, he can't take it back so he should see it to fruition.
“You don’t understand,” Ayato said sternly, he shook his head and took Thoma’s hand in his and continued sincerely, “I love love you so much! I think you’re beautiful and sweet. You’ve made me so happy in all my years of knowing you and... I want to date you...” his voice trailed off.
Ayato is sure this is what he wants and that this might be what Thoma wants too… hopefully
“You make me so so happy. I mean, we’re growing up and we just finished high school so I wanted to- I wanted to-,” At this point, Ayato was on the verge of tears from the overwhelming emotions he felt. Every word he tried to get out seemed to choke in his throat.
“You make me happy too!" Thoma jumped to encase Ayato's hands in his, "Honest, I love you too.” Hearing Thoma's affirmation the tears and sniffles Ayato was holding back started to spill out.
“Don’t cry!” Thoma exclaimed upon hearing Ayato cry. He grabbed a tissue from his pocket and wiped away Ayato’s tears. He pulled Ayato into his arms and gave him a reassuring hug.
“Let’s try this Ayato, will you date me?"
5.
Love is in the little things. The everyday mundane task can have love embedded in them every step of the way.
Ayato flopped over in bed. He rolled from the right to the left as he tried to stretch the sleepiness out of his body. The bed was distinctly empty and the cold left half told him Thoma had woken up quite some time ago. Ayato could also faintly smell the aroma of food cooking coming from outside the room. So, he peeled himself out of the bed and made his way to the source.
Upon locking eyes with Thoma's figure Ayato immediately attached himself to him. His body was still plagued with sleepiness and he practically collapsed onto Thoma.
“Good morning love,” Ayato greeted Thoma with a yawn.
“Good morning sleepyhead," Thoma teased, "I hope you didn't stay up too late last night."
“That smells delicious, honey,” Ayato chose to carefully sidestep Thoma's earlier remark knowing that no matter what he says Thoma will chide him because Ayato indeed did sleep much too late.
“Hmmm,” Thoma hummed as he patted Ayato’s head with his hand. “Almost done, can you grab the cutlery dear,” With a little bit of reluctance Ayato detached himself from Thoma to set the table and wait patiently for the food to come.
The air really was filled with the strong umami smell from miso soup, a constant in Ayato’s life. It reminds him of mornings, it reminds him of breakfast, it reminds him of Thoma.
Not a moment later Thoma finished making breakfast. He sat down with the dishes he cooked and the two of them dug into the meal.
“So delicious, as always,” Ayato remarked as he reached for another egg roll, “I could eat your cooking every day.”
“You don’t have to exaggerate,” Thoma could feel a flush forming on his face from Ayato’s sweet words.
“But I’m being honest dear,” Ayato shot Thoma a satisfied smile.
“Drink your coffee,” Thoma huffed as he turned away to try to hide his face, "You talk so much the food must not be good enough.”
“The food’s delicious but the chef is the love of my life. How could I not give my compliments to you dear,” Ayato pouted and made a show of sadly eating his food by taking small nibbles of the fish Thoma prepared
“Ayato…” Thoma was torn as he sighed, how could this man be so sappy mere minutes after waking up? How was Thoma’s heart supposed to survive?
“I’m going to combust before the day even begins again,” Thoma mumbled under his breath as he resigned himself to Ayato’s sappiness. He looked at Ayato’s face and could see the pure joy and love radiating from him as he ate the food Thoma cooked.
At this moment Thoma couldn’t help but think how perfect this was.
How much love was in the air every day between the two of them?
6.
There are different types of love and sometimes you just know you want to be with someone forever. The person you know you’ll love until you die. The person you want to bind yourself to.
“Thoma, will you marry me?” Ayato popped the question and pulled a ring out of his back pocket. They were currently on vacation together in the countryside, so far away that there was no light pollution to obstruct the sparkle of stars in space.
“What?-” Thoma gasped, the words were jammed in his throat. He was completely speechless.
“Is that a ‘yes’?” Ayato raised an eyebrow.
“Well of course it’s a yes,” Thoma huffed, “I've expressed wanting to marry you but- so out of the blue?”
Ayato giggled, "The timing just felt right." He pulled Thoma onto his lap and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’ve always loved you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life," Ayato slid the ring onto Thoma's hand and took a second to admire it. No further words were spoken.
The silent moment between the two was so fragile and precious. They simply gazed into each other's eyes and basked in the presence of the love of their life. After some time passed Thoma broke eye contact with a chuckle.
“Gosh you’re so sappy Ayato, but I love you and want to be with you forever too,” Thoma locked his arms behind Ayato’s neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, the recently acquired engagement ring sparkled and caught the light as it sat on his finger.
Years ago they were two children attached at the hip, today they're engage and in the future they'll always be together until the very end.
+1.
Sigh
“Long day?”
“Thoma, I’m tired.”
“You’re still wet Ayato. You’re going to catch a cold coming out of the shower without drying off properly.”
“It’ll be okay. How was your day?”
“Tiring but alright, I’m just happy to be in bed now” with you
“Hmmm, have I told you how much I love you, Thoma?”
“You have! Every day, every night! I love you too! Now, let’s get a good night's rest, come here!”
+2
Ayato’s sleeping face was so serene.
“I love you,” Thoma whispered. He gave a gentle peck on Ayato’s forehead, one more look at Ayato’s sleeping face and then got up to start his day.