Work Text:
“I am not afraid of death. When I have to confront the great reaper, I would like to recall Bernanos' words- 'And now , just the two of us!'.” - Jean Mercure
I'll remember.
You damn well better.
Loud rumbling suddenly shook me out of my slumber. I opened my eyes but could hardly see a thing. A huge shadow was hovering above, then it vanished along with the noise. My eyes tried to follow it but all I saw was just blurred colors. But still better than the last time I had woken up. I blinked a few times, tried to focus on a dark spot but gave up as the humming in my head grew louder. Shutting my eyes and pressing my lips together in hope to ease the recurrent headache didn't help. I slipped my tongue over my lips. They were rough and tasted like metal.
I was so thirsty.
Sh..a.d!
A noise somewhere in the distance. I couldn't make out if someone was shouting or if it was something else. My senses waned more and more by every hour gone. Just like the VI's battery in my armor.
[Warning! Internal battery down to 1%.] Speaking of the devil, it chirped into my earpiece.
I couldn’t feel my legs and suddenly panic consumed me. I tried to take a look at them, fearing that they might be gone but a sudden intense pain hindered me from moving my upper body upwards. The stabbing pain jolted through my body down to my left thigh and then I could feel my legs again. Like pins and needles.
When I had first regained consciousness, I felt every cut and wound tear out my insides. Still, I struggled to stand up, but the sheer agony of it had made me buckle under the strain. I hit the ground hard and lay there, racked with pain. Over time, my system seemed to gradually shut itself down. The less I moved, the easier it became to ignore the growing unpleasantness of the jagged stones underneath me, accentuating and intensifying the pain of my injuries.
I couldn’t remember how I got here, wherever here was. I didn’t even expect to survive when everything around me exploded and knocked me out cold.
I tried once more to lift my body up but still I was too weak to move. No power left inside me. Nothing to eat, nothing to drink. Severely wounded, massive blood loss.
I’d seen worse; when I got spaced with a rupture in my suit.
So all I could do was try not to die a second time and hope for someone to find me. Though the chances of staying alive were going downhill rapidly.
This is not how I wanted to die. Would have preferred to kick the bucket in the explosion then.
I was tired and thirsty.
So thirsty. My mouth was so dry, devoid even of saliva.
I closed my eyes and chewed bitterly about the fact that I'd be dead very soon. Then I saw her beautiful smile, sparkling brown eyes and heard her delightful laughter in my head. Samantha.
Whatever happens I love you. Now go and save the world. Again.
When she said those words I was full of hope and confidence that I would make it back to her. Sam. Not even with closed eyes I could stop the tears from escaping my eyelids. I failed her. A sobbing noise crawled up my throat and more tears spilled through my closed eyelids. Weeping, uncontrollable sobbing. I was crying like a little girl. But the rumbling noise from before shook me out of selfpity.
Shepard! SHEPARD! SHEPARD!
That wasn't a simple noise. It was a voice and it was shouting my name! Hope arose again. I tried to answer but nothing other than a short screech came out. Then fear that they wouldn't see me. Would walk past me. Dammit! I don't want to die. Sam. Please.
High pressure built up in my ears followed by a pop and a feeling like warm liquid flowing out of it. Felt like hamster pee.
“I found her!” a strong voice shouted.
The sound of running boots was coming towards me.
“Oh my god please don't.” said a second voice. Female.
I reopened my eyes. Sight still blurry. A shadow leaned over me.
“She’s alive!”
Strong hands were tugging at me. I moaned at the pain of my body being moved into a sitting position but my determination of getting away from here was stronger. With the last of my strength, I heaved my body up to the hazy silhouette that supported me. Crawling on my knees was all I could do, I swayed. The pain was overwhelming.
The two voices were talking I didn't listen to most of it.
Gentle hands held me steady. Helped me back in a sitting position by pressing its own body into my back.
“You made it.” That voice sounded familiar. Could it be?
“Sam?” I croaked. My mouth was dry like a desert.
“Yes! Yes it’s me.” She sobbed relieved but also worried. I guess I looked like a mess.
Even though I too felt like shedding tears of relief - for finally being found – what I wanted more than anything was ”Wa-ter?” My head rolled back. I was about to pass out.
“James, the water bottle. Quick.” I heard Samantha say.
James? Vega? Wasn’t he with me when Harbinger's beam hit us?
“Don’t you dare die in my arms. You promised me a dog and a house.”
That's my girl. Making jokes at the most unsuitable moments. I felt a supporting hand at the back of my head. She forgot to mention the kids. I wanted to remind her, but nothing more than a rasping sound came out.
“Can you see me?” Sam asked concerned.
I made a slow – no – motion with my head to prevent my headache from giving me more pain and pressed out one word. “Fuzzy.” My eyes were about to shut when I felt the liquid on my lips.
"Slow." The male voice said.
I must have looked like a desperate infant who longed for mother's milk.
“Slow.” He repeated. I couldn't tell if it was Vega. The high pressure in my ears kept coming and going. My senses worked like shit.
I coughed. Took too much water in one gulp, but I was so thirsty.
I blinked over and over again in hope to clear my vision. I wanted to see her. No, I needed to. Needed to know if this was real or just another dream.
All the time I had laid there, my thoughts had been about her. It was the thought of seeing her again that gave me the strength to fight to stay alive. When I drifted back to sleep my dreams had been about her.
I ached to see her. Her brown eyes, ruby lips curled into a smile. I yearned to have a clear vision so my eyes could gaze upon those delicate features. My eyesight did improve but I could only distinguish the shapes of their bodies.
A worried “She needs medical attention immediately! The medi-gel won't help much.” interrupted my reflection. I felt the soothing effect of medi-gel on my left cheek. The man purposefully lowered his voice to talk to Samantha so I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I grasped a few of words though. Something about ripped armor, take off, puncture and distract her.
Was that really Vega? It sounded like him but I was too tired to think further. Four hands careful lay my body back on the ground.
Sudden fear overwhelmed me. Fear that they would lay me down and leave. “No. No!” I repeated several times. But Sam's soothing voice calmed me down.“Sssh, relax.”
One hand, the one on my head never lost the contact.
Sam took my right hand and squeezed it firmly. It felt like she was trembling. But why? I had a vague idea of what was coming next.
“Hey!" Her voice was soft like when we had made love the first time. "Look at me. You and me, remember?”
I nodded. Wanted to answer but my throat was still hoarse. I tried anyway. “Yeah. Kids?” Was all I could say.
“Let’s start with the dog, ok? Then the house. Kids coming last.”
It annoyed me that I still couldn't see her clearly. I forced all my strength into my senses. My eyes were glued on her blurred face and my ears on her every word.
Again I felt tugging at me. Rougher this time.
“Although, Vancouver is definitely out of the question for settling down.” Sam kept talking. I nodded again. Seconds later a massive weight was taken off my chest accompanied by a sharp, tearing pain. The agony made me cry out and groan. I heard Samantha gasp in shock.
“Don’t look!” He told Sam sharply.
They disposed of my armor. Or what was left of it. And I felt the cold air rush over my body. There must have been a serious wound on my abdomen because it felt immensely colder there (or was it just the medigel?)
Strong arms pulled me off the ground. My face lolled against a warm male chest. “Got ya Lola. I told you I'll cradle you in my arms one day.” If I wasn't sure before if this was Vega, now I was certain of it. Little motherfucker, never thought I'd be happy to hear him flirt with me.
“Careful!” Samantha said firmly.
“Calm down Chiquita. I won’t let her fall.”
“I still can't believe... It’s a wonder she’s still alive after two days out here.”
“Shepard would survive hell and get back with the devil’s balls in hand. Right Lola?”
I couldn't help but laugh which ended in a painful cough. Tears filled my eyes. I opened them again to blink the tears away and could finally see more than blurred outlines. I was looking at the one thing that had kept me alive since I had laid here.
Samantha. Her eyes were wet but she was smiling and I smiled back.
There was no need to fight for survival anymore. I was safe now. I felt my strength fading away. Unconsciousness embraced me and I welcomed it. I was so tired.