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The world seems to blur around him today. Sunlight filters through the willow tree to kiss his ashy blond hair golden as it falls onto his forehead in unruly waves. He's wearing a soft smile that presents a trace of his hidden dimples and his eyes glow a dazzling crystalline blue to compete with the light in the sky and I feel a sense of contentment and happiness, an emotion I was a stranger to. An emotion I have come to associate with this one person over the years .My eyes flick toward his lips
"Katniss ?" He startles me. "Is there something on my face again ?" I've been caught staring again,last time I told him he had something on his face .
Today I'll do it ,I assure myself, take a breath and say "No………" " Do it, say it ,Katniss, you can , It's Peeta ! For god's sake Katniss" I hear Johanna and Annie both nagging at me in my head but my heart starts pounding as I look into his eyes my palms sweat and my stomach does somersaults. I blurt . "Your hair has grass in it, let me brush it off" Well , couldn't do it , great ! Mission picnic is officially a failure
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Johanna is yelling at me through the land line again "Brainless why the hell can't you just say it straight out you dummy ! He loves you, you love him , now you want to fuck him, so just tell him that !"
Only if it were that easy , I mean there's one thing to stay by each other's side and talk and help each other out but we've not so much as kissed ever since the tunnel of horrors.We've made giant leaps of the last year though, I've made great progress in Dr Aurelius' opinion , even my opinion,Peeta's been nothing but kind and loving. But he's not making a move , or he's giving me time , or he needs time, however that's where I should be making myself clear according to my friends ,I can clearly state that I am waiting for our relationship to evolve.
"Johanna I'm not going for that yet , it'd be a miracle if he just kisses me! " I hiss.
"Katniss , you are being a bit of a coward here to be honest. You've admitted to wanting to kiss him two months ago and here you stand unable , neither have you been successful in kissing him nor in sharing your feelings. What are you scared of ? " Annie chimes in .
There's a lot I'm afraid of honesty when it comes to Peeta.
"I mean during the opportune moment ." Annie interrupts my thoughts to add.
I think back to my previous futile attempts at kissing him or telling him how I feel , how in most of them I had butterflies in my stomach and in others I started sweating profusely.
"I get nervous everytime I try bringing this up.Not when we're in a normal conversation or something but whenever the opportune moment arises I just can't seem to think straight. " I state matter of factly.
" You've kissed him like a hundred times, brainless. I swear ,I've started to feel like you're just messing with us here." Johanna practically barks.
I am starting to hate the conference feature of these phones . I wish I would have known how to switch from it when I confessed to Annie , Jo would never have known. Never !
" It's okay to be nervous, but you must not let that hold you back. " Annie professes.
Annie suggests we practice, Johanna playing Peeta and I just have to stutter out some possibile words or sentences that would give it away and settle my problem once and for all . But I swear Johanna plays the worst Peeta. It's driving me insane.
" Annie, remind me why you can't play Peeta ?" "I have a son. I know you can't tell but I've left the room with the telephone come back quite a few times. "
Makes sense however Johanna does not make sense. In the course our star crossed lovers play as Johanna calls it I've started shouting at the top of my lungs as she makes obscene comments about how I can't even act , even if it's practicing to make something real special.
She says " Hey Katniss ! Can I have my heart back? " with a made heavy voice.
This one pisses me off , I'm about to smack the receiver of the phone and cut the line when a cunning reply comes to me , it's inappropriate for sure , but right now I don't care , the only competition I am faced with in being surly is Haymitch ,I will destroy you Johanna Jacobin Mason.
"Maybe if I can have your virginity, Peeta " I riposte and then smile triumphantly on hearing loud gasps one surely is from Johanna.
I hang up and turn on my heel to find Peeta standing at the door.I didn't know it was possible for me to survive with jelly for bones all this time but now I am sure I did. There's a chance though that he didn't hear this , I take in his appearance, he is blinking and blushing furiously.
He clears his throat "You were screaming , I got worried so came here , heard you shouting. " He rubs his neck.
"I'm sorry Peeta , I shouldn't have been shouting ."I stammer.I close my eyes and breathe ,I can handle this, no harm no foul.
"Katniss, did you mean it ?" I look up at him in shock and bite my lip ,take some time to think but only nonsensical words escape my mouth.Peeta saunters towards me though . What am I even going to tell him , this is not how I imagined him leaving me , I thought he'd say I'm crazy , unstable , broken that would be valid reasons , it shouldn't be because I couldn't control my tongue ,I believed I mastered the art of not talking too much , but here ,I'm flailing my hands around to make some more meaningless gestures.
Peeta closes the distance between us ,he cups my face to pull it upward , I am certain , I am unstable and hallucinating but that's when he steadies me with his lips.
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