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His very first kiss had the taste of his salty tears.
“Goodbye, Judai.” There was slight hesitation in his next few words, but a brief smile came upon his features. “I’ll miss you.”
Nothing could have predicted exactly how things were going to turn out from here on out. The Scandinavian stood there, tears slowly falling from his jade eyes, staining his cheeks as a little smile had made its way in his features, regardless of his eyebrows expressing some sort of pain. A painful, sorrowful smile. Yet, a genuine one. The person in front of him, his best friend, stood there with an indescribable expression, his amber eyes looking at him in mild confusion, as if he was trying to figure out what exactly had just occurred between the two of them. For a moment Johan feared he had royally messed up, their trust now eternally broken. He didn’t mean for this to be an attempt to jump at stealing the Hero duelist’s heart, instead, he tried to convey the feelings he had harbored for his best friend, the ones that made him the primary target of Yubel’s hatred and jealousy.
There was a moment, when Johan had thought about speaking up and trying to explain himself, disregarding this entire thing as a misunderstanding. A simple clash of their different cultures, perhaps chucking it up to Norwegian traditional goodbyes or something that could potentially become a reasonable excuse to his sudden bold move. Instead, before he could begin to fully panic about his actions, Judai simply smiled back, a bright big smile as he lifted his hand up in goodbye towards the other male.
“Goodbye, Johan!” Judai simply began waving his hand, beginning his long journey far away from the Academia. “Take care of yourself!”
“You too, Judai!”
The only response he received was his gentle laughter resonating in the wind. The very last time he saw him, and yet, a hopeful one. Perhaps the pain of his best friend would finally fade away, and he’ll feel happy once again. Feel joy, in dueling.
The cold Norwegian wind of the winter months never really bothered Johan, if he was being honest. Feeling the chill of the snow under his fingertips as a lone snowflake fell on his hands as the snow began to appear as usual during the holidays was a feeling he loved. He sighed softly, his breath visible from the sheer cold, but regardless of it, he still enjoyed himself every time December came along Scandinavia.
It was December 24th, Christmas Eve for most people. The sunset had come and gone about 5 hours prior and he found himself walking around the town square to gaze upon the giant christmas tree that took most of the big round plaza. He found himself smiling, enjoying the spectacle of the colorful lights adorning the luscious branches of the tree. So many colors twinking with the stars of the night sky. He couldn’t help but smile, his cheeks and nose shining a rosy color from the low temperatures of the night.
“Rubi.”
Gentle squeaking, took his attention away from the colorful plant, finding himself gazing upon his closest spirit friend; Ruby Carbuncle was on the ground, looking up at him with a little smile of their own, chirping happily as they noticed their dueling partner finally taking notice of themselves. Johan smiled, kneeling down to be closer to the smaller spirit, ignoring the confused gazes of some bystanders. He was used to this. He might be famous in Scandinavia, a known produelist that was shown to love spirits and try to spread their word, that they were real and his love of dueling. And yet, people still found themselves confused at the sight of the young man, whenever he displayed a real genuine understanding and gazing of his duel spirits.
“The tree looks wonderful this year, doesn’t it, Ruby?” A bright smile came across his features, as the little purple spirit chirped in response.
“Rubibi! Bi!”
Laughter was all the young man replied the spirit with, happily offering his hands for the little spirit to climb on its usual spot, his shoulders. Truthfully, he didn’t need to do any of this, his spirits more than capable of breaking the laws of physics…if there were any tied to them and simply floated towards him occasionally. But he still found himself offering a little climbing spot to Ruby, and he could tell that the carbuncle truly appreciated it. That was one of many things that made Johan so special to the Crystal Beasts.
Slowly the pro duelist rose from his spot, standing tall once more as both him and his spirit companion looked up towards the twinkling tree and the stars. Taking the sight in once more, before he finally began walking away, his steps slow but steady as the gentle aroma of gingerbread cookies and the cheer of the festivities took him on a walk, that while it had no destination, was more than enough to fill the small void in his heart.
He hated to admit it, but whenever he turned around, he couldn’t help but feel slightly lonely. Always catching sight of a couple, perhaps a man and a woman, under the light of the streetlights; One offering the other their scarf, a shy smile, laughter and an innocent kiss. And while he smiled and felt happy for each couple, he felt jealous. He wasn’t the type to harbor such emotions and he found himself constantly mirroring his same mantra “Don’t. You shouldn't. You're grateful for what you have, right?”.
And he was. He truly, genuinely from the bottom of his heart, felt grateful. For another wonderful year, for the great duels, for his manager always kind to let him take the holidays off, for the Crystal Beasts allowing him to continue his dream, for everything.
However… There was a thought that always occasionally crossed his mind;
Yuki Judai.
It had been at least 4 years since he last saw him. When he said goodbye, he was barely 18, both of them young, faced the worst of things by battling darkness. Not to mention the fiasco of the year before that with the other dimension, the possession, the fear he felt as his body wasn’t his anymore, his scream as another voice took his mind- The pain of lo-.
He stopped his train of thought, shaking his head as he reprimanded himself quietly, his duel spirit chirping and pawing at the dark blue ear muffs that protected his ears from the cold. He smiled kindly at the purple carbuncle, reminding them that he was okay, “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”, and yet the little carbuncle was well aware that their owner had not been okay the past few days. It was always around these times, these types of romanticized holidays that his mood seemed to drop quite a few notches.
And it was that he couldn’t help but admit that he missed the HERO duelist dearly. There was nothing more than he could ever want, than to wish upon a star and be suddenly granted with a visit, a letter, an email from the other. But at his 22 years of age, his faith in the other had begun dwindling, and perhaps the connection he thought they once held… was nothing more than a fabrication of his delusional mind, the mind of a young teen that had been enamored with the brunet.
There was more than one occasion, in which he overthinked their interactions, repeating every duel, every smile, every laughter they shared. The conviction Judai held to save him, the words resonating in his mind, every single time he doubted if the other even cared;
“Johan! Give me Johan back!”
“You’re safe… Johan you’re…”
“My friendship with Johan… Fujiwara, our bond will show you how to get out of darkness’ hold!”
“Johan, take care of yourself!”
No, Judai did care.
The question was… did he still care? Surely, he did. He never was the type to simply forget someone, to dismiss you harshly, to forget an entire friendship. One that was so strong as theirs.. And yet… he had no idea where he was. No one knew.
He recalled asking Phoenix once, during one of the tournaments they both attended, once again competing for the fourth spot of the top 5 duelists in the world. Granted, Pegasus president of Industrial Illusions held the rankings and ranked the duelists himself, knowing that another competitor of said spots (who was none other than Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp.) was more than likely to put himself on the number one spot regardless of what anyone said;
“Have you… heard anything?” Johan had asked quietly after they both had moved far away from the press, slowly approaching him with a glass of apple cider.
“About who?” Edo inquired, taking a sip of his wine, his gaze hidden behind his long silver bangs, until it clicked in him, blue eyes meeting worried jade with a soft smile. “Ah, Yuki.”
Johan didn’t reply and simply waited for a response, to which the shorter duelist sighed in response, shaking his head and making Johan sigh in disappointment.
“Sorry Andersen, I’m as clueless as you are.” Phoenix replied, his gaze turning to the two Marufujis in the far back of the room, talking to the press about their upcoming Marufuji league. “Not even they know, and Sho is the most likely to know.”
“I see… Thank you anyway, Phoenix.”
“It’s Edo, you can call me Edo… Johan.” He smiled a very rare understanding smile, catching the Scandinavian by surprise, he really had changed after all.
“Thank you, Edo.” Johan couldn’t help but smile a bit in response.
-
“Hey, watch it!”
“Ah?!”
It took too long for Johan to register a male’s voice calling to him and him accidentally bumping into a man in a suit, thankfully, his reflexes had been fast enough, barely, for him to catch the man’s gift in his hands, barely falling right on him as he gasped for air in absolute shock and confusion.
Without noticing, he kept walking, not caring for anything happening around him and without realizing, bumped into a poor innocent man, who had been walking, possibly towards home, to deliver one last gift to his family or perhaps a lover. In absolute embarrassment, Johan stood up carefully, handling the gift as carefully as possible as he watched the blond man fix up his suit, offering the gift back with a small bow of his own.
“I-I’m so sorry, sir! I didn’t realize! P-Please if anything is broken- I’ll pay you back!” He was more than apologetic, he’d hate to accidentally ruin a child’s christmas, and even if the man took the gift harshly, it took him a moment to register who he was talking to.
“Wait.. Are you…Andersen? Johan Andersen, the pro duelist?!” The man was in shock, staring at who he barely recognized as the duelist was now wearing a heavy navy colored winter coat, dark pants, winter boots and, surprisingly had blond hair instead of his usual teal color, and yet, you could see traces of his old hair on the ends of his blond hair.
“Ah- Yes, that’d be me.” Johan apologetically laughed, and the man changed demeanors immediately, apologizing back for bumping into him and quickly taking out his smartphone.
“Oh, you simply must grant me a picture if possible?! My children love your duels, my youngest wants to become a duelist, like you!”
“Ah- Well, of course, sir. I’d be more than happy to.”
There was a brief awkward moment, where they both tried to settle right in front of a bakery using the light of the warm colored windows to illuminate their picture well enough so both of them showed in it, Johan posed with a bright smile and carrying the gift for the kids, the father simply smiled proudly before the flash came up, the picture instantly taken and the man took a look at the photo showing it to the duelist to confirm if it was good enough for his liking.
“It looks gre- wait… hold on a-”
“What is it?” The man inquired in confusion, already looking at the picture as well to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary.
The Scandinavian simply couldn’t believe his eyes, as behind them, in the picture, he could clearly see a young man about his age, inside the bakery, a bright red winter coat on him as he was given a loaf of some kind of christmas gingerbread, his smile seemingly bright and there was something other than caught Johan’s eye; His hair. It was a very distinct, yet unique color of two different shades of brown, just like Judai’s - Wait, was that… Yubel in the picture as well?!
Johan wasted no time turning behind them, scanning the bakery behind them from the window in a panic, his heart racing in his ears as he began to realize he might have missed his chance to ever encounter the duelist that he kept wondering about for the past four years of his life. No, no this couldn’t be- there was no way-
He caught sight of a round fluffy brown spirit with wings, just about leaving the shop and turning to the right.
“Hey are you-” The man had barely begun to ask before the Scandinavian ran as fast as his legs could take him.
“S-Sorry! Gotta run! Merry Christmas!”
Please still be close, please still be close!
The now blond young man took a sharp turn to the right as he noticed the little spirit taking, he couldn’t see the red coat or the bright brown of his owner, but he could just barely make out the little shape of the brown fur and the wings above the huge crowd slowly gathering in the plaza for the general festivities. It was barely about 9 pm but he knew that the moment the cheering for Christmas began around the plaza, it was gonna be almost impossible to catch sight of the HERO duelist.
He had to find him, he just had to.
“JUDAI!!!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, raising his hand desperately as he kept trying to catch up with the other, who was walking way too fast for him to catch up.
How would he even reach him at this rate? Noticing his fear, the purple carbuncle had shown up once again, quickly catching sight of the fluffy spirit flying around. It seemed like Winged Kuriboh heard Johan and was now looking around in confusion for a brief moment. Noticing that this was the only way to help, Ruby quickly sprung into action, jumping from Johan’s shoulder and quickly bouncing on people’s heads, making Johan gasp at the bold move from the carbuncle as they had never done anything of the sort before.
“W-Wait, Ruby-!”
There was no stopping Ruby Carbuncle as they ran as fast as they could, strategically jumping on people’s heads, present boxes and more things to catch to the furball that had now screamed at the sight of the fast approaching carbuncle, ready to simply attack its prey with all it’s might.
“KURIIIII!”
“Eh?! Winged Kuriboh?!”
Judai had finally turned around, gasping in surprise as the sight of none other than Ruby Carbuncle quickly tackling Winged Kuriboh at full speed came into his view, making him stare in shock as the poor fluffy spirit fought for its life as the carbuncle seemed to be chirping in absolute anger, as they proceeded to scold both the spirit and the duelist for not stopping for his owner. And the mention of him made Judai’s cheeks turn a brighter red.
“Johan? He’s here…?!”
That much should have been obvious to the duelist, and yet, when he turned to the crowds and tried to move towards the direction the carbuncle had come from, he saw no sight of the familiar teal hair. His eyes scanned rapidly for the young man, his own heart quickly speeding up at the thought of finding the person who had taken his first kiss so long ago, the one he had stupidly not replied to, given no answer to.
It didn’t take long before he caught sight of a familiar face, beautiful light green eyes staring back at him, his cheeks just as red as his were. Yet, the blond hair seemed to confuse him at first, but it was definitely him, it was Johan, his best friend. The one that he personally could not stop thinking about ever since he met him. The one he embarrassingly… took too long to realize he was in love with.
“Johan.” the brunet let out breathlessly as the Scandinavian slowly approached him.
He didn’t get a response from the taller man, instead he felt the warmest hug he ever did. His arms had slowly wrapped around Judai’s waist and gently held him close, burying his face into his shoulder and Judai gasped, air leaving his lungs as Johan’s warmth filled his entire being and his chest, his own arms shakily wrapping around the taller one’s neck as he buried himself into Johan’s neck, breathing in his signature vanilla scent. He didn’t want to let go of him.
Ever since their meeting, Judai had felt something special around Johan. Something he never quite figured out. It was silly of him, to be fair, after everything that transcurred in his third year in Duel Academia, the lengths he himself went to look for Johan, to get him back… The pain in his chest as he awoke to a world without him, the hurt he caused when he thought he was gone for good, that everything was for naught. The realization that Yubel had known all along that his heart had long belonged to someone that wasn’t them and that said person was none other than Johan all along… So much so, that for years he continued to invade his mind. In his travels, in every sunset, in every beautiful sight of the sun; He saw him, he saw the person that shone brighter than the everlasting sun… he found Johan in it.
And after realizing how foolish he had been, he did the stupidest thing he ever thought of doing, visiting every single corner of Scandinavia until he found him, until he found Johan. Or well in this case… Until Johan found him.
“I missed you, Judai.”
The brunet’s heart skipped a beat, knowing exactly what those words meant. He heard the same when he left, and he felt himself tense up as the cheering around them began, the festivities had begun and the bright lights had suddenly become too much for the japanese. Johan slowly pulled away to look into his eyes and Judai found himself lost in the millions of green shades he found in his best friend’s eyes.
Johan wanted to say so much, to cry, to scream at him for disappearing on him just like that, for not even properly rejecting him, or breaking his heart so he’d forget about him. Thousands of many responses came into the Scandinavian’s mind as he tried to scramble to find the words to finally say to him, the many things he wished to say, to wish for.
Instead, Judai did the unthinkable for him. He slowly got closer to the taller man, his eyes slowly closing as their lips began closing in on each other’s, the distance between them becoming less than zero as finally, a chaste yet soulful kiss was planted on Johan’s lips.
He knew the HERO duelist was a man of action and not of words, and this, this was exactly what he thought it meant. After all this time, after all these years, he finally found the response his younger eighteen year old self wanted to hear. And as Judai parted from said kiss, his shy smile said it all.
“I… missed you too, Johan.” Judai found himself struggling to continue the sentence, taking in a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding, staring into the jade that made him spiral into these emotions over 5 years ago. “Merry Christmas.”
Johan stared in disbelief for a brief moment at those words, finally spoken back to him. He knew what he meant, when he told Judai many years ago that he’d miss him and to hear the brunet speak those words, with the same intensity as he did back then, even more so, even, was more than enough for the Scandinavia to finally break down into tears, a bright smile on his features as the plaza announcer happily greeted everyone and everyone behind them cheered, the festivities had finally begun around town.
And for once, he could take part in them, without the empty feeling in his heart.
“Merry Christmas, Judai."