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Park Jimin doesn’t like surprises. He follows a strict schedule Monday through Friday starting with a whole-wheat bagel (lightly toasted, no butter) in the morning and a lukewarm mug of chamomile tea before slipping into bed at 11:43pm every night. Although it frustrated him that his bedtime fell at a time that ended with neither a 0 nor a 5, it served to prove the point that Park Jimin could, in fact, live life on the edge and no one cares about your opinion anyway Jeon so shut up or I’m telling Taehyung about how you spent a full five minutes describing the aesthetics of his eyebrows. Jimin doesn’t consider himself an asshole on most days but even he has his limits and there are always perks to being best friends with the boyfriend of your arch nemesis. He honestly had no idea what Taehyung saw in that smug, conniving, pompous, self-satisfied, conceited, stuck-up jerk. And no, Jimin most definitely did not go on thesaurus.com and search up synonyms of the word smug.
Saturdays and Sundays were the only days in which Jimin did not find himself buried under all the paperwork that Jungkook and Taehyung had failed to do in the time they spent making out in the privacy (cue collective eye roll of all those who were unfortunate enough to work on the same floor) of Jungkook’s cubicle. This is why the weekend is the only time in which Jimin can spend some quality time with his cat Hoseok. It’s not that he doesn’t have any friends, it ‘s just that hazelnut fur, soft whiskers, and the biggest, most kawaii eyes Jimin has ever seen are much more important than any social life he might have had. Yup, Jimin has his priorities straight.
It comes as no surprise when Jimin is the first to walk into the office at 7:15am on Tuesday morning. He liked coming in a little earlier than the usual morning rush, when he could savour the peaceful quiet of an empty office before it exploded into the usual chaotic bustling and loud curses at the outdated photocopy machine that Namjoon still refuses to replace. This was the time when he could comfortably settle into the nest of memos haphazardly stuck onto his desk and chair and mentally prepare himself for another day of indiscreet PDA courtesy of Taehyung and Jungkook. There was a time when Jimin thought the displays of affection between the couple had been cute. There was also a time when Jimin had consumed so much alcohol that he had attempted to serenade a cactus with his favourite Taeyang songs. Jungkook still has the videos. Jimin doesn’t remember where he was going with this.
The point is, seeing Taehyung and Jungkook constantly glued at the hip (and in other places too, if he’s to be completely honest) only serves to put Jimin’s non-existent love life into glaring focus, although he would rather die than admit it out loud in Jungkook’s presence. Now Jimin knows he’s not doing too badly in the looks department. He goes to the gym three times a week to maintain his rock hard abs and he makes sure to wear clothes that show off his fantastic collarbones. He knows his appearance can’t be the reason he still hasn’t found his special someone. No. The true cause of the emptiness in Jimin’s heart (in the distance, Jungkook can be heard snorting into his cereal) is simply because Jimin himself is a very picky man.
At the tender age of seven, Jimin already had a clear image of the man –no mom, I am not just going through a phase –he was going to have his happily ever after with. He had to be tall and dashing, bronzed skin, muscles rippling, smooth, classy. He had to be intelligent, quick-witted and suave. If Jimin had used the man from the Old Spice commercial as his reference, no one would ever know.
Naturally, a man possessing all of these qualities is an extremely rare phenomenon in this day and age. More often than not, Jimin had found himself turning down dates from perfectly good guys simply because they were too short or had accidentally stumbled over a word and unintentionally revealed their inability to be suave. After years of failed confessions and first dates, Park Jimin had simply resigned himself to a life without a man at his side. His Prince Charming just didn’t exist. Thank god he has Hoseok.
Jimin is rudely snapped out of his thoughts when the phone by his computer rings.
It’s Namjoon.
“Get your ass down to my office immediately. I’ve got a job for you.”
He hangs up abruptly after that and Jimin resists the urge to snort. Namjoon likes to pretend that he’s cool and mysterious sometimes.
-
After years of working under Vice President Maybe-if-you-gave-the-photocopier-some-love-instead-of-cursing-at-it-all-the-damn-time-Namjoon, Jimin knows to walk right into the spacious office space without knocking. Although Bangtan Inc. is still a relatively small company compared to its competitors, being in charge of finances on top of all his other vice presidential duties must be tough on Namjoon; but, being on the receiving end of one too many inked scribbles on what should have been copies of the companies annual statistics has hardened Jimin’s soul and rendered him incapable of any sympathy towards the other man. He shuts the door harder than necessary behind him.
The loud noise seems to have startled the two other occupants of the room. Namjoon straightens up from his spot behind his desk and beckons Jimin closer.
“Ah, Jimin there you are. Meet the newest addition to the Bangtan family.”
From his spot across Namjoon, the second occupant of the room turns to face Jimin, extending a hand.
“Min Yoongi. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Pale. About his height. A complexion that can only be described as “vampire-like” and wearing the expression one might find on a king only just realizing that he has to breathe the same air as all the other peasants. In other words, Min Yoongi was the best example of what Jimin was not looking for in a man.
Jimin would later pinpoint this as the exact moment he let his guard down.
-
As it turns out, The Job, as Namjoon put it, was to be Yoongi’s personal guide during his first weeks at Bangtan Inc. Explaining the dos (do avoid using the photocopier) and don’ts (don’t hesitate to throw anything that could serve as a projectile in the general direction of the Taekook couple) and other general rules of the office. As if Jimin didn’t have enough on his plate already.
He pastes a smile on his face and is pleasantly surprised (and a little bit awed) when he gets a small one in return.
-
After spending a solid three weeks showing Yoongi around the office, Jimin learns quite a few things about his new co-worker.
1. Contrary to popular belief, Min Yoongi is not the male Kristen Stewart. He is, in fact, capable of expressing emotions and cracking jokes that leave Jimin in tears.
2. On the rare occasion that Jimin says something funny enough for Yoongi to put in the effort to laugh, Jimin is treated to a wide smile, teeth and gums on full display. Jimin has learned not to look directly at it in fear that he might combust from the sheer brilliance of it.
3. Yoongi likes to hide behind a mask of indifference but quietly leaves a cup of coffee and a sandwich from the café across the street on Jimin’s desk when he noticed Jimin had forgotten to bring in a lunch that day.
4. Yoongi might actually be the kindest, sweetest person Jimin has ever met.
5. It scares the shit out of Jimin.
In his defense, Jimin had spent the last sixteen years of his life idealizing one man and one man only and he has his hidden stash of Old Spice to prove it. According to real scientific evidence (not), if you believe something to be true long enough, it will, eventually, become the reality. At least in the mind of the believer. Jimin was going to marry the Old Spice guy and that was that. There was no two ways about it. It simply was not possible for Jimin to like any other guy.
So you really can’t blame Jimin for thinking the fluttering of his heart whenever Yoongi smiled was because of the extra hour of weight lifting he’d done that morning, or that the butterflies in his stomach whenever he so much as glimpsed a head of blonde hair walking down the sidewalk was because of the cheese enchilada he’d had for lunch. It can’t be love. Jimin can’t love Yoongi. Yoongi with his too pale skin, Yoongi with his dislike for exercising and monosyllabic sentences.
Yoongi with his quiet concern for the people he cares about and the most beautiful smile Jimin has ever seen.
Jimin and Yoongi are just friends and will remain just friends because Jimin can’t love Yoongi.
It’s just not possible
-
Yoongi confesses two months after joining Bangtan Inc. It’s all stuttered words and sweaty palms and everything Jimin had seen fit to turn down in the past.
“I-um-I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me later? Like I know that –well what I mean is that I don’t mean it in a friendly way? Wait what the fuck? No, I mean of course it’s friendly it’s just that I don’t want to go as your friend. Dammit that’s not right either. You get me though right? You’d actually be stupid if you didn’t. Shit Seokjin told me not to call you stupid while I’m trying to confess to you. God, why can’t I do anything right? I –fuck it –Will you watch a movie with me in a non-platonic-be-my-boyfriend way?”
It takes a full minute for Jimin to process his words, and in that minute Yoongi looks ready to flee the room and jump off the nearest cliff.
“You like me?”
It came out a little harsher than Jimin had originally intended but it can’t be helped when he’s so fucking confused.
“Jimin, I understood that you had to kick the photocopier a few times to get it to work the first time you told me, but I still let you explain it to me exactly seventeen more times in the past two months. If that isn’t a sign of true affection I don’t know what is.”
It hits Jimin with the force of a million pounds of bricks. He was happy. Jimin is ecstatic at the idea that Yoongi sees him that way. That Yoongi wants to be with him in a non-platonic-be-my-boyfriend way.
But there’s still the question of why.
There’s a small voice at the back of Jimin’s head whispering in a voice irritatingly similar to Jungkook’s that he knows exactly why. It’s the same voice that Jimin has become increasingly familiar with in the past couple of years, often speaking up just as he’s rejecting another guy for all the wrong reasons. He’s usually found it easy to ignore the incessant nagging in his head, but this time is different. This time it’s Yoongi standing in front of him with cautious hope in his eyes and Jimin is suddenly at a loss. For the first time in his life, Jimin doesn’t know what to do next because Min Yoongi is nothing he wants but everything he needs.
But Jimin is a grown man. He’s mature and he’s gone through this enough times to know how to handle the situation.
Which is why he blurts out a y-you’re not even my type before backing the fuck out of there and running as far away from Min Yoongi as possible.
-
Jimin doesn’t see Yoongi the entire week. It was Namjoon who eventually told him that he didn’t even work on Jimin’s floor and Jimin is left to ponder just how much Yoongi had gone out of his way to spend time with him. It puts a warm feeling in his chest before he realizes just how much he fucked up.
“You fucked up.” Namjoon says after informing Jimin of Yoongi’s current whereabouts. Jimin doesn’t even want to know how he found out.
He makes his way back to his cubicle only to find Taehyung sitting idly at Jimin’s desk. Expression more serious than Jimin has seen in years.
“Yoongi hyung isn’t looking so good, Jimin.”
“What makes you think that has anything to do with me?”
Taehyung doesn’t even bother to answer the question, choosing to look pointedly at Jimin until Jimin is forced to look away in shame.
“Kookie and I saw the way he would look at you sometimes, when you were talking about something random or cracking another one of your really lame jokes. I think we were the only ones who noticed, other than Namjoon but Namjoon doesn’t count because that guy knows everything that happens around here. It’s actually kinda creepy. But back to the point. We were the only people who saw the way he looked at you but there were a hell of a lot more people who saw the way you looked at him. “
He must have seen something in Jimin’s face then, because he stands, pats Jimin’s shoulder gently, and leaves his cubicle without another word.
Jimin sits at his desk and proceeds to work for the next six hours straight. He fills his head with numbers until there isn’t any room to think about anything else. Especially not a certain blonde man who had managed to find a place for himself in Jimin’s heart and single-handedly ruin his entire way of life. He doesn’t even notice that he missed lunch now that there’s no one to buy him a cup of coffee and a sandwich from the café across the street.
-
It doesn’t really hit home until the end of the day when Jungkook approaches him. Jeon fucking Jungkook.
“I think you need to go and fix things, hyung.”
Jimin didn’t even know the word hyung was in Jungkook’s vocabulary. The situation just got a lot more serious than it already was.
“I know, Kook.”
They share a look of understanding then. Jungkook even manages a small smile and Jimin briefly entertains the idea that Jungkook isn’t as bad as he had thought.
But only briefly.
-
In the end, Jimin decides to confront Yoongi.
And it’s not because of the disappointed look Namjoon had given him, it’s not because Taehyung had been the good best friend that he is and knocked some sense into him. It’s not even because Jungkook had called him hyung.
In the end, Jimin missed Yoongi.
So he finally decides to grow a pair and take the elevator down to the third floor for the first time in his two years at Bangtan.
It takes Jimin approximately 0.092 seconds to spot Yoongi after the elevator doors close behind him and he takes a moment to simply stare and take it all in. How the crappy overhead lights shine on Yoongi’s face at just the right angle, making his pale skin glow and his hair gleam until he looks positively ethereal. Jimin wonders how he ever thought this wasn’t enough.
But then he notices the slumped shoulders and the dark bags under Yoongi’s eyes and the guilt threatens to eat him alive. He needs to make things right.
Yoongi sees Jimin only seconds before he reaches him but makes a valiant attempt at making a run for it anyway. But Jimin is fast and years of going to the gym coupled with his steely determination makes it almost too easy for Jimin to wrap a hand around one of Yoongi’s arms and practically manhandle him into one of the empty conference rooms.
Jimin shuts the door gently and his heart clenches in his chest when he turns around and sees that Yoongi can’t even look him in the eye.
“Do you like cats?”
Yoongi’s head snaps up at that.
“Jimin, what—“
“Just answer the damn question.”
And Jimin knows he has no place talking to Yoongi like that and he feels even worse when he sees the look on Yoongi’s face but he’s never been able to do the whole confrontation thing properly.
“Yes,” Yoongi says quietly. “I like cats.”
Jimin takes a deep breath and decides to just go for it.
“Good, because I have a cat and Hoseok is and will always be my top priority so it’s important that I know your opinion on cats before I ask you out.”
The silence as the implications of his statement sink in suffocates Jimin and he idly wonders if this is what Yoongi had felt when he had first confessed. But Jimin is a man on a mission, so he ploughs ahead.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I left things the way I did that day. I’m sorry for making you feel like you were anything less than perfect, because that’s what you are to me Yoongi, you’re perfect and I know it’s really fucking cheesy but it’s true and I need you to know that.
“I said you weren’t my type but maybe that’s a good thing because my type is a man with scripted lines and an airbrushed body and fuck I don’t even know if his abs were real but what I do know is that you’re real Yoongi. You’re so fucking real and I can’t believe I wanted to trade that in for something that wasn’t and I’m so, so sorry.
“I know I’m far from what you deserve and I know that what I did was terrible. But if you’ll have me, I was hoping I could accompany you to a movie in a totally non-platonic-be-my-boyfriend way?”
Jimin is panting lightly by the end of his speech, but it feels like a huge weight has just been lifted from his shoulders. He did it. He finally told Yoongi how he felt.
Now all he had to do was wait.
“Fuck you.”
Jimin can feel his heart breaking. He should have seen it coming, really. Who was he to think that he deserved a second chance after what he’d—
“Do you not see how defined my legs are? I am offended that you didn’t recognize the similarity in body build between your supposed ideal type and me. At least I don’t need airbrush to look this hot.”
And then Yoongi’s striding across the room and kissing Jimin breathless.
A slow clap rings loudly in the silence of the room.
“That speech was award-winning, Jimin-ah. Real Oscar-worthy stuff right there.”
Jeon fucking Jungkook.
-
Park Jimin doesn’t like surprises, but if they come in the form of short, pale blonde men with cold exteriors and hearts of gold, he is willing to reconsider.