Work Text:
The middle of the night was hardly considered a time often seen as the appropriate time to do...most activities. It was the time for rest, to prepare for the time the next morning breaks. The lightless time of dreams. However, that did not mean that all night denizens were the types to dream. And perhaps those that were most active during this time were exactly the ones lacking dreams.
They certainly weren’t sleeping, that’s for sure.
Like a certain group of teenagers.
25-ji, Nightcord de., a mysterious circle self-publishing music on the internet. Identities? Unknown. Intentions? Unknown.
Dreams? Unknown.
But for their wishes...
“Ah! Can this stupid program just work for once!?” a pinkette softly exclaimed as not to wake up their household but still loud enough to vent out their frustrations. The voice, perhaps obviously, belonged to Mizuki Akiyama. Amia, connoisseur of all things cute and the mysterious group’s animator.
“Crashed again?” a soft monotone voice expressing half-hearted interest made its way through Mizuki’s earbuds. This voice, perhaps obviously once again, belonged to Mafuyu Asahina. Yuki, jackpot sad girl and the mysterious group’s lyricist. “How many times does this make?”
Perhaps their identities are more well-known than expected.
“Too many to count,” Mizuki exasperatedly exclaimed. “It crashes, resets my settings, deletes my presets and shortcuts...it really is the worst.”
“Why not get some other program?”
“I already paid for this one! Though it appears like it was a waste of money! Really, what’s the purpose of a program like this if it doesn’t work half the time!?”
Mizuki continued fuming.
“Purpose, huh...” Mafuyu muttered, reflecting on the freshly received words.
Purpose.
In a sense, the point of something. The final goal. The end-all, be-all. Like a joke’s punchline. The question then, if life is just one kind of joke, then what is its punchline? In other words, what is life’s purpose? What is the reason we exist?
“Huh? Mafuyu, did you say something?” Mizuki interrupted their own malding.
“No, it’s nothing. Merely wondering what life’s purpose is.”
...
Mizuki imagined she said that with the blankest of stares possible.
And they would be right.
“Oi, how can you say that so nonchalantly?”
“I’m sorry?”
“N-no, it’s okay... I was just taken aback,” Mizuki stuttered. “Is it because of what I said?”
Mafuyu made a noise that Mizuki could only imagine was something like affirmation, or the closest thing she was capable of producing. Mafuyu-grade affirmation must surely be of high status.
“Why we live, huh...” Mizuki reflected. A question that has stared humanity in the face for time immemorial. A question that certainly no one in this time can answer, surely not two high schoolers in a Nightcord voice call. And even if there was an answer, there was no reason for it to be applicable to everyone. For better or worse, everyone is unique.
And surely that meant that everyone had their own reasons for living.
But would everyone be able to find it in their lifetime?
Perhaps the entire point of that question is that no one among the living can answer it properly.
“Ah, before that, have you heard the news?” Mizuki shifted the topic.
“What news?”
“A train completely pulverized a bus in the Netherlands a few days ago,” they said, without a single shred of doubt that a topic such as this would be considered relevant.
“Why are you interested in Dutch news?”
“I saw pictures of it online! It’s kinda insane! I’ll share them in the chat later.”
“Sure, but what does that have to do with anything?” Mafuyu asked, questioning the topic’s relevance. She knew Mizuki was frivolous and brought up the weirdest things, but this topic came out of right field so much it may as well have been left field. Right? Left? Who knows what the right way is.
“Hey! Don’t discount the Dutch! They were valuable trade partners of ours back in the day you know!”
“What does something that happened during national isolation about four hundred years ago have to do with us?” Mafuyu questioned, picking up on the niche historical reference.
“Didn’t you know? With the internet, it’s all about international relationships these days. It wouldn’t even surprise me if we all started speaking English.”
“Aren’t we already?”
“Huh? What are you talking about, Yuki?”
『何でもない。』
Mizuki cleared their throat.
“Anyway, to go back to the topic at hand...” Mizuki placed a hand over their chin in thought, not that Mafuyu could see. “It kinda reminds me of the time you disappeared.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...how do I say this...” Mizuki’s hesitance came through. “It’s sort of like, if you had a concrete reason to live, then you wouldn’t have done that, right?”
“I suppose.”
Mafuyu recollected that moment in time. The horrid darkness of it all was not something she enjoyed remembering, but it was a memory she had to hold onto. She had no choice. No, she wouldn’t choose anything else. After all, the song that was born in that moment would remain with her, forever.
And that girl’s declaration, too.
“That reminds me,” she started, “do you still want to disappear?”
What a bombshell, Mizuki thought. Normally, they would definitely try to deflect such a question. It was too inquisitive. It showed too much. Shed too much light on the shadow.
But they also knew that Mafuyu already called them out on it.
So from one evanescent person to another,
“Who knows?” Mizuki jokingly responded, “Maybe when I get my own Sekai.”
“Like how I tried?”
“Maybe!” a tongue-in-cheek attitude was the only way Mizuki could cope with a topic such as this one. Fortunately, Mafuyu was their conversation partner. If it was Ena, then they wouldn’t have even engaged the topic. “But don’t you think that’s in our nature?”
“What is?”
“To be alone. To isolate ourselves.”
I mean, there’s the sheer fact the term 'hikikomori' exists, Mizuki thought, strangely engrossed in the conversation's subject.
A lone girl in a vast emptiness.
A lone middle schooler on a rooftop.
But were they truly alone?
“That topic again? But it is not like we were born then.”
“True! So I guess we’re about four hundred years too late.”
“Besides, what does government policy have to do with human nature?”
“What a logical argument from Yuki. But I guess that’s just like you.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Perhaps~, but you really are the straight-man of this group you know? At the very least, more than our Enanan, and she tries so hard to be that for our group it’s kinda funny,” said Mizuki, with a growing smile on their face. Exaggerated or not, what is a girl adhering to society’s expectations anything but illogical? Humans fear the illogical unknown. So by staying within the easy-to-understand known boundaries others put you in, wouldn’t that make you ‘logical’ to them?
“I see,” Mafuyu didn’t know what to do with the comment.
“But Yuki, since you were wondering, what do you think the purpose of living is?” perhaps asking a question like this was out-of-character, Mizuki thought, but everyone is prone to inconsistency. And perhaps the late-night irrationality was kicking in. Or maybe Mafuyu was just easy to talk to. “For what do you live?”
A question plaguing humanity for all of eternity couldn’t be answered very simply.
And yet...
“Isn’t that simple? I’m waiting for K and her song.”
Mizuki exhaled, “But of course.”
How illogical, especially for a girl like her. Placing your raison d'être in the hands of others felt irresponsible.
But the circumstances of that declaration...that place, and that emotion-born song, weren’t those the pinnacle of irrationality?
“What about you, Amia?”
...
It was impossible for Mizuki to answer that question truthfully. Even if it was Mafuyu asking, and even if they were slightly looser lipped than usual—that question was too inquisitive, even if it was just a question asked to simply keep the conversation going. After all, saying that you were taking each day as they came, counting your blessings, until the moment they stopped coming altogether would just kill the conversation. What could anyone say to that? What could Mafuyu of all people respond with?
“I guess I’m just waiting too.”
“On what?”
“To see K make that song, of course! I said I’d help, didn't I?”
…and maybe on the day I’ll finally be able to tell her, if such a day ever comes.
Flashes of brown came to Mizuki’s mind.
“I guess we’re the same in that regard,” Mafuyu commented.
“Both waiting, huh? That reminds me of that song, ‘Haru wo matsu’? ”
“Isn’t it ‘Hare wo matsu’, the song by Orangestar?”
“Wasn’t it a song by Leo/need, though?”
“...”
“Anyway! I’m pretty sure it’s Haru!”
Amia, frivolous and transient, like cherry blossom petals blowing through the wind at five centimeters per second.
Yuki, cold but not quite obstinate, like the snowfall at winter’s end.
It is said cherry blossoms wait for the temperatures of spring as a sign of when to bloom.
Winter inevitably makes way for spring.
Amia.
Yuki.
Much about them is hidden within the night they might call home, like their dreams or their lives’ trails. Whatever shape those stories will take, there is one thing for certain.
Mizuki Akiyama.
Mafuyu Asahina.
They’re waiting for spring.
“In any case, Yuki, have you found your answer? We’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”
“We could have arrived here earlier if you didn’t bring up so many unrelated topics.”
“I didn’t think they were that pointless.”
“Pointless, huh...“ Mafuyu pondered, “Yes, it’s pointless,” she said firmly, uncharacteristically so.
“Like I said, it wasn’t pointle—, huh?”
“It was pointless to dwell on these matters.”
“Then what was the point of everything we said so far? The almost two thousand words we spent talking about it?”
“It’s not like we literally talked for that number of words, there was some narration too.”
“That’s not the point!”
“Exactly, that wasn’t the point. There never was a point—to this kind of conversation,” she emphasized. “After all, weren’t our conclusions the same?”
“Go on...”
“The answer is that we should very simply...”
The words that followed were surprisingly the most emoted phrase Mizuki heard exit Mafuyu’s mouth.
“...just live.”
For a brief moment, Mizuki was flabbergasted at the words they heard. But in the end, all they could do was simply chuckle. It was easy. After all, it was a foregone conclusion. It went without saying. The two of them within this night—they would live. Their reasons were as pre-established as they were simple. Almost as if the entire group of 25-ji, Nightcord de. followed this very premise.
That was how obvious it was.
“Right, that makes sense. I mean, that’s sort of why we’re here, aren’t we?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“To help the lost souls on the internet questioning these exact topics with our songs. To guide them and maybe make them come to that conclusion...something like that?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Well you’re part of this group too!”
“You already seemed pretty convinced.”
“Hmph!” Mizuki pouted, not that anyone could see.
“Given your conclusion, I suggest we go back to work. We can’t help anyone with these questions if we ourselves are stuck on them,” Mafuyu suggested, completely ignoring the other party’s dissatisfaction. “Is your program working again?”
“Ah! I completely forgot about that! Let me see...”
Silence filled the voice chat.
“Amia?”
A sad, defeated voice spoke up.
“It’s all gone...! My hours of progress! Disappeared in the blink of an eye! What was the point!?”
Truly, what was the point?
“I guess you have to redo it.”
“Let me grief~”
It was at that moment the group’s artist joined the voice call.
“Hey you tw—Amia, why do you sound even more pathetic than usual?”
Mizuki whimpered.
“All their progress got deleted,” Mafuyu explained.
The realization hit Ena harder than the door Akito accidentally threw into her face the other day. And it’s not like something like that never happened to her, either. Art programs could be finicky...
“Oh, uhm, don’t mind?”
“Woe is me~”
“Now you’re just exaggerating. Come on, get a grip. Redo it.”
“I don’t wanna...”
“Then make it even better this time!”
“Easy for you to say!”
“Then if I don’t say it, then who will? Yuki? Never.”
It isn’t so simple, was what Mizuki would say, but given recent conversations...
Maybe things were that simple.
Mizuki had an idea.
“Say Enanan, what do you live for?” Mizuki’s tone returned to normal.
“Wow you got over that quick...uh...I don’t know? Why are you asking me this anyway?”
“Aren’t these the topics our music addresses? It can give Yuki inspiration!” Mizuki was making things up as they went. Mafuyu emitted a noise that could be seen as some form of agreement.
“Uhm... Let me think...”
After a brief silence, Ena finally came up with an answer.
“The pancake store I showed you the other day is rumored to change up their seasonal menu next week and I just have to go there!” Ena proudly responded, confident in her answer.
Amia and Yuki both blinked a few times in silence.
Another simple answer.
“What? What’s wrong? Why are both of you silent?” Enanan’s confidence quickly disappeared.
“Oh, it’s nothing, it was just unexpected? Or maybe too expected?” Mizuki wondered more than they answered.
“Well sorry for not giving you the answer you were looking for!”
Amia’s and Enanan’s antics continued, as they usually did, leaving no room for anyone to really butt-in. Mafuyu continued listening in silence, as another person joined the call. Once again in Nightcord at 25:00, all was well.