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Dazai, in all his 22 years of living had never once thought he'd be moping around Chuuya's apartment because he was not here. Never in his life would he have imagined that he'd be this upset that he was spending Christmas alone.
Now, Dazai had never been a fan of Christmas, not because the holiday itself was bad, Christmas was probably the most pleasant time of year: there were dazzling multicolored lights, smiling faces, catchy music and the fun of stressing over presents paired with the satisfaction of watching people open them and be overjoyed with them.
No, Christmas in itself wasn't bad. Not at all.
It was just that Dazai had always felt quite jealous during Christmas, he hated that he did because everyone around him seemed to be completely void of that feeling.
He could still remember, vividly walking around on Christmas day, watching children hold their parent's hands, as they went to pick a restaurant to eat at or see couples launching snowballs at each other when the other wasn't looking. And then there he was, alone, cold -on the in-and-outside- with his hands stuffed in his pockets at a fruitless attempt to warm his nimble fingers, with layers and layers of clothing on. He didn't have that extra person to hold hands with to share warmth or that exhilaration of messing around in the snow to warm up. He was alone. And it made him seethe with jealousy.
So now that he finally had the opportunity to be with someone, to do all the typical Christmas things, even if normally they were things he wouldn't be interested in, he wanted to them, he just didn't want to be alone.
And yet here he was, alone.
Granted, this time he wasn't in his freezing cold dorm, and instead in a luxurious, incredibly warm apartment (despite its grand size).However, he could be snuggling in a giant bed with an electric blanket underneath him, set to max heat and yet at the end of the day, the other side of the bed was still empty.
Christmas was a holiday for couples and yet his other half wasn't here.
There was no couple, he was just a single and out of all the years this could happen it happened to be the year he got a boyfriend.
"Chuuya better make it up to me for this," Dazai muttered bitterly as he sat himself down on the couch with a mug of tea wrapped in his cold hands.
He'd just gotten back from work, his day was okay other than the fact the boiler broke and everyone in the Agency and everyone, especially him, was one degree away from turning into snowmen. Dazai in general was the type of person to get cold incredibly easily and once he was cold, even for a split second, he struggled greatly to get warm again.
It would have been lovely if he came trudging 'home' and was met with his short heater of a boyfriend to cuddle and warm up with, but no, because Mori (surprise, surprise) was a dick and sent Chuuya away for Christmas, Dazai couldn't help but feel like Mori did this on purpose, it was like he woke up every morning with a mission to make Dazai miserable.
Dazai, stared out the window as the snow fell past, one of Chuuya's whole living room walls was just a window, it was a towering large building, so the need for privacy didn't really exist. He stared out the window slightly mesmerized by the snow and the distant glow of the snow around the town despite the dark sky, up until his phone rang.
He glanced at his phone, laying on top of the armrest on the couch, he could see one of his favorite photos of Chuuya, him sleeping with his mouth wide open, practically drooling on the pillow, hair completely tangled, every time Dazai saw it he couldn't help but laugh, if his day had been terrible all Chuuya needed to do was call him and suddenly any sadness that lay upon his shoulders dissipated.
He reached over lazily and grabbed his phone, falling on his side, his head digging into one of the couch pillows, "hello Chuuya," he spoke, voice uncharacteristically gentle, very unlike his usual way of greeting Chuuya with, downright embarrassing attempts at flirting or his little sing-songy voice.
"You okay?" Chuuya asked from the other side of the line, his voice was tired and raspy, Dazai could tell, even miles and miles apart that he was also tired, tired of work, tired of being apart.
Even like this Dazai couldn't help but smile, getting to hear Chuuya's voice at the end of every day was his favorite part of his day, honestly, it was almost disgusting how utterly smitten he was for Chuuya.
He wasn't exactly sure why Chuuya was making the effort to call him every night, it wasn't the first time that Chuuya had gone on a mission to another country for a few days, or even a few weeks and he'd never bothered to call every night then, just enough to make them both happy. But Dazai found he preferred this instead of calling so sparsely.
Although if he had to deduct Chuuya's intentions it was probably because Chuuya was well aware of how awfully lonely Dazai had been on Christmas every year, how jealous he would be that he didn't have anyone. Chuuya most likely sympathized with him and wanted to be there for him, to remind him that although they were apart they weren't alone.
"I'm okay Chuuya, just sitting," Dazai replied with a huff as he pulled the blanket further up his body "the boiler broke at the agency. I think I'm going to die," he sniffed, his voice going all pouty.
However, he just knew Chuuya was smiling on the other side "I'll warm you up once I get home."
"I might become a snowman until then Chuuya dear."
"You literally lived in a shipment container with no heating, I'm sure you'll be fine."
"Why do you always have to bring that up?"
"Cause it's funny. It gives me a real kick when I think about you taking women to that thing, god the horror on their faces must have been priceless!"
Dazai pouted and sniffled again "you're so mean to me Chuuyaaaaa, I miss you and this is what you do to me? How rude! Bad dog!"
Chuuya chuckled "if I was there I'd shut you up real good," he paused as he probably pondered about it "fucking mackerel."
Dazai didn't say anything for a moment, his heart pounding uncomfortably in his chest, Chuuya shouldn't have said that, not in that way. Not with that undertone, not with that good-for-nothing (irresistible) voice. "Don't say it like that," he whispered, closing his eyes in concentration.
"Oh yeah? Why not?" Chuuya knew exactly why, he was just being a prick, like always.
"I'm not in the mood to have lackluster phone sex," Dazai spoke back, irritated that he even had to admit something like that was on his mind in the first place.
"You love phone sex don't even lie to me Dazai."
Dazai huffed, he did love phone sex, in fact, he loved it so much he was willing to go to embarrassing lengths to do it, he could still remember the first time they'd done it, Chuuya was at work in his office and Dazai at home in Chuuya's bed, he could still remember Chuuya's wonderfully honey-like voice guide him on the phone, the way he imagined Chuuya all over him, what a moment that was, it left Dazai breathless on the phone, if they'd gone just that bit further he would have probably heard white noise.
But right now, he didn't need that, he just wanted to be close to Chuuya, just a hug, a kiss, anything would go right now and he couldn't even have those. Chuuya could probably sense it across the phone, Dazai's need for physical affection, it was usually the other way around, Chuuya was the one who was in constant need of a physical touch whilst Dazai always needed sweet words but in the time between Chuuya leaving and now Dazai seemed to have become selfish.
But then again Dazai loved getting spoiled by Chuuya and Chuuya loved spoiling him, so this worked out in their favor anyway "Osamu?" Chuuya called out, voice quiet and fond. Dazai simply hummed, breathing deeply through his nose "I love you," Chuuya whispered, his silky voice echoing through Dazai's ear almost serenading him to sleep.
Dazai couldn't help but smile "I love you too."
The days went by, inevitably creeping closer to yet another lonely Christmas. But even so, he didn't want to sit in an empty and boring apartment, he might as well start decorating, even if it made him feel slightly bitter, he should be doing this with Chuuya.
But Chuuya couldn't return to an undecorated home, not when he liked all the flashy lights and pretty Christmas trees so much.
So Dazai huffed and trudged to Chuuya's storage closet, fishing around for the box full of decorations. There was still the problem with the tree though, Chuuya liked real trees, the size of them, the peculiar, fresh and leafy smell of it, and how nice they felt to the fingertips, Dazai wasn't the type to bother about going out in the cold stare at a bunch of trees and be picky about them, he'd rather just put a fake one out and call it a day but he did have to admit real ones just added just the extra feeling of Christmas. He was just exceptionally lazy.
But he'd deal with that tomorrow after work.
It took him about two hours to set up everything, he hung the lights around the home, and even put some in a large jar, along with some pine cones and holly, just for that extra feel. He put up a small light-up reindeer at the doorway and its cute red nose. And a cheesy sign saying 'Santa please stop here!' not that he or Chuuya thought Santa was real but it was easy to pretend he was, made them feel like young children, just for a little while.
He changed the couch pillows to Christmas-themed ones and the bedding to rich red ones with silver hints splattered throughout, he then added a snowman plush to the middle that had a cute green and white scarf on, it made him smile a little.
Last but certainly the most important he changed the air freshener to one that claimed to be the smell of roses but actually smelt more like fresh air mixed with flowers and dotted some cinnamon and gingerbread candles around, lighting them up and placing them carefully in safe places that ensured the house wouldn't catch on fire. That would not be a good present for Chuuya in the slightest.
Now all he needed to do was sort out the tree, and he knew just the person for that.
"Hello? Dazai?"
"Akutagawa!! Hello! Do you mind if I ask you for a favor? when you're not busy, obviously."
There was a little clang, as if the boy on the other side had dropped his spoon, and then probably the sound of him scrambling to pick it up. "Yes! Yes, of course! Anything you want."
"I'd like to get a Christmas tree and I figured you should come with me and help me," Dazai responded, it wasn't like he was going to carry a massive tree all by himself and he'd certainly not be allowed to drive by himself either.
"A Christmas tree? But what do you need me for?" That was true, Dazai could ask a plethora of other people to help him out, but he supposed that he should try and spend some time with the younger boy that didn't put him in a constant state of distress, it was mostly cause he wanted to right his wrongs but also because he knew, deep down, he and Akutagawa both felt lonely during this time of year. So if Chuuya wasn't here to light up his Christmas Dazai would just light it up for others.
It wasn't a hard task, and it wasn't like he hated Akutagawa, sometimes he looked at him and was reminded of how he used to be, but that was more of a Dazai problem rather than an Akutagawa problem and Dazai had to deal with that himself, not take it out on Akutagawa, darn Chuuya for making him all sentimental about this sort of stuff.
"Well, I was thinking it would be nice to spend Christmas with everyone? Plus Rashoumon would be very useful for carrying a massive tree, not like I got that strength on my own."
There was silence as Akutagawa thought "couldn't you have asked Jinko? He's strong."
Dazai hummed with a smile "Akutagawa?" The other mumbled a small yes "you ever thought that I might just want to ask you 'cause it's you?"
Dazai wasn't aware of it but Akutagawa was sure that he was about to faint, he fanned his heated face and cleared his throat "Uhm! Yes, then I'll come, yes. Uhm... when do you want to go?"
"Tomorrow? After work? If that works for you."
"Yes! Yes, I'm free, I'll be done at 6 tomorrow," Akutagawa's voice had quietened down, clearly embarrassed about the whole ordeal, he would have never expected something like this. Maybe he was being a fool again, but surely Dazai wouldn't be so cruel as to crush his heart during the Christmas season?
Dazai grinned "great! Then I'll see you tomorrow outside the Agency at half past 6," he spoke as he sat down at the kitchen counter.
"Okay, goodnight Dazai."
"Good night Akutagawa."
By 6:15 Dazai was starting to pack up, and everyone was working overtime, as they did every Christmas, it was so they could churn out as much work as possible, so they could enjoy their Christmas worry-free. Dazai usually put in some effort into work around this time too, just to make everyone's lives easier.
Atsushi looked at him, he wanted to say something but a tired yawn interrupted him, Dazai couldn't help but chuckle a little, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately. "Where are you going Dazai?"
Dazai slung a scarf around his neck (Chuuya's scarf) "going to meet up with Akutagawa," he replied nonchalantly, as if it was just a stroll in the park, not like it made Atsushi's eyes as wide as sorcerer's.
"Huh? Why?" He asked, lips forming into a slight pout.
"He's helping me pick out and carry a Christmas tree back to Chuuya's apartment. I know Chuuya likes real trees so...I figured I'd at least do that for him.
"You really miss him, don't you?" Yosano piped up from her clinic, leaning against the door frame with a warm beige jumper making her appear a little less intimidating than usual.
Dazai could only huff, he really did miss Chuuya, which in itself wasn't unusual, he usually did miss him. However, he'd never missed him for this long and hated it this much. Usually missing someone he left behind in the Mafia came with a guilt that he hadn't unattached himself from his old life. But he didn't feel that right now, he hadn't for a long time, maybe it was because the Agency and Mafia were now on good terms but even so when he'd met Chuuya for the first time in many years, the relief that came with seeing a comfortable and familiar face still did accompany guilt. "Yes I really do miss him, I was looking forward to spending Christmas with him, you know..." Dazai paused and pursed his lips sheepishly "as a couple," he added.
Dazai shuffled his feet and breathed in deeply "but it's fine! There's always next year, it's not like I can't live without him. I'll be fine, it's just a bit of longing that's all," Dazai didn't know why everyone was giving him a pitiful look "what? Why are you all looking at me like that?!"
"Dazai, you can admit to being disappointed Chuuya isn't here, no one's gonna judge you, it's normal to be upset that you can't spend Christmas with your partner, especially if you've been looking forwa-" Dazai tried to deny it but Yosano seemed to know he was trying to doge the idea and interrupted before he could deny it, lifting her finger dismissively, "don't deny it Dazai, it's as plain as day. You just wanted to have a cheesy, disgustingly romantic and cliché Christmas. There's nothing wrong with wanting that you know. Especially considering all the shit you and Chuuya put up with almost every day."
Dazai's mouth snapped shut and he sighed, looking away as if embarrassed, a weird look for him. "Okay yes, fine. Now stop spewing my true, innermost feelings or I'm going to fling myself out the window," he announced whilst placing his hands on his hips, with a playful frown on his face.
The Agency laughed at him a little bit as he turned around to hide the fact he was cracking a smile. But everyone could tell he was smiling anyway.
With that settled Dazai soon left the agency, yet Atsushi was still confused as the door closed "I still don't get why it has to be Akutagawa."
"Sometimes, kiddo. Dazai just wants to be anything but insufferable," Kunikida spoke up, not taking his eyes off his computer other than for a quick and sparse glance at the younger.
Atsushi decided to take his word for it, if there was anyone in the Agency who understood Dazai, it was definitely Kunikida, he may not be the next Chuuya Nakahara but he certainly knew and cared for Dazai enough to at least understand him enough, so Atsushi huffed and accepted that perhaps Dazai was just enjoying the festivities with Akutagawa to do something good. Perhaps he'd have to treat Akutagawa to something sweet sometime? He knew the older liked sweet things, and fortunately, Atsushi did too...maybe that wouldn't be so bad.
Ranpo raised an eyebrow, understanding what Atsushi was thinking "well... looks like Dazai taught him something useful. For once," a few people chuckled and nodded.
Dazai waited outside the Agency patiently, really wishing he had a cigarette with him, he always had the need to smoke during winter, it was one of those tricks his brain played, telling him he'd warm up if he had one. He'd just blame Chuuya for it later, that man always smoked.
Thankfully Akutagawa came into view meaning they finally could start walking, maybe that would warm him up a little.
Somehow Dazai concluded that Akutagawa had good taste...good taste in trees?
"This one's perfect, the height won't scrape Chuuya's ceiling and it's full all around, I know he'd like this one," the younger boy spoke as he inspected the tree, Dazai stared a little incredulously at him, it was both weird and slightly amusing to see how seriously Akutagawa was taking this; whether it was because he wanted to impress him or Chuuya, Dazai couldn't be sure but nonetheless it was helpful. "What do you say Dazai?"
Dazai took a step back and looked at the tree from a further distance, imagining what it would look like with all of Chuuya's red and gold decorations, it certainly looked good in his head but he wasn't very good at imaging things when it came to aesthetics, that was more of a Chuuya thing. But either way, Akutagawa had a good eye "I think this one is good too, Chuuya would have probably picked this one too, if he was here of course."
Akutagawa was practically glowing "that's good. Chuuya's been wanting to go Christmas tree shopping with you for a very long time now, but it's reassuring to see you doing it without him anyway."
Decidedly Dazai ruffled his hair "alright let me pay for it and we'll carry it to Chuuya's," Akutagawa gave him a strange look "come on you didn't think I'd put this in my boring dorm? Or that I wouldn't take the opportunity to overheat Chuuya's house for my well-being."
Akutagawa shook his head, finding it odd to see Dazai so...domestic? Even saying it sounded a bit wrong.
They carried the tree (using Rashoumon) side by side through the streets, people gave them plenty of weird stares and Akutagawa loosely wondered if he'd get caught by the police being so obvious but he supposed there was nothing wrong with Dazai being with him. He didn't think Dazai would let him get arrested, actually, he doubted that.
"Wow, you decorated this whole place on your own?" Akutagawa spoke his voice holding a certain amount of amazement before he whipped around to look at the older "does Chuuya know?!!" He asked, watching as Dazai's eyes held a sudden sadness. How odd it was to see that, his expression on him, it was the type of sadness that wouldn't be noticeable in any other circumstance but considering he was standing in Chuuya's empty and decorated apartment, the sadness seemed to be great enough for it to be somewhat obvious.
"No, he doesn't know. It'll be a surprise, hopefully, his mission doesn't take longer so at least we can catch the New Year together."
Akutagawa nervously swallowed but said nothing more as he placed the tree in its stand and did up the cranks before heaving out a sigh and speaking "this should I be it. Is it good?" He asked quietly.
Dazai didn't answer immediately though, eyes slightly dilated as he gazed at seemingly nothing "Dazai?" He called out again, his head tilting slightly in curiosity.
"Hmm? Oh yes, it's very good. Thank you Akutagawa," Dazai quickly smiled, clapping his hands together happily "it looks wonderful!! Now! There is one more thing I need to say before you go though! If my instincts are serving me right, I'm pretty sure a certain tiger will call you downtime soon."
Akutagawa raised an eyebrow "a tiger? Wha-"
"How many tigers do you actually know Akutagawa?"
"Right..."
"Try not to kill him please, consider it my Christmas present," Dazai winked and all Akutagawa could do was shake his head with a small laugh.
Dazai spent the next 2 hours decorating the tree, originally he'd thought that he'd hate it, that he'd find it boring or a chore but with some music dancing in the background and the occasional jingle from one of the bells that sat hanging on the balcony rails, all in all, it was a good experience (though it would have been better if Chuuya was here).
"I called you three times?!? What are you doing?"
"Ahh~ my love. I'm not doing absolutely anything! I'm just sitting here moping about my loneliness, if only my prince was here!!" Dazai sang dramatically, throwing his arm over his face, even though Chuuya couldn't even see him. He didn't expect silence to greet him on the other side of the phone, "chibi?" He called out, eyes falling on a picture of them on Chuuya's bedside table "Chuuya?"
There was a sigh on the other side "sorry, I just wish I was there with you, ugh it sounds shit to say...but I was looking forward to spending Christmas with you, woulda put a mistletoe on every door frame so I could kiss you every time you walked underneath one."
"How utterly disgusting of you Chibi," Dazai spoke, though the idea made his cheeks warm, he would have loved that, he truly wondered how people survived long-distance relationships, he was on the verge of insanity and it had only been a few weeks. "But...I would have liked that," Dazai wasn't the type to admit he liked all the ways Chuuya spoiled him, he liked to believe he could do without Chuuya's slobbering mouth kissing him but clearly that proved to be a delusion this whole time.
He heard Chuuya suck in a large breath at Dazai's admittance "yeah?" He asked, slightly rhetorically "I'll give you anything you want when I'm back," he finished breathlessly, Dazai assumed that he was probably a bit shocked.
Dazai smiled fondly, curling around one of Chuuya's hoodies that he was currently hugging, it was the one he'd worn the last day they'd been together and it hadn't gone in the wash since, then again Dazai was never really one for hygiene anyway. He took a deep breath of the scent that still lingered on the meaningless piece of fabric he was clutching and then sighed loudly "I don't need anything from you Chuuya, I just need you."
Chuuya groaned and rolled over into his bed, "don't say shit like that, you shitty bastard. Not when I can't kiss the life out to you."
"Now that's a brilliant way to die if you ask me," Dazai joked listening to the silence on the other end of the line.
Their conversation lasted a for a bit, just a little bit of domestic banter between the two, a few date plans, nothing too special, just a way for them to instill some hope for the future instead of wallowing in their longing. But, as all things do, it came to an end, a simple goodbye and a very rare I love you.
For once in Dazai's life hearing 'I Love you' wasn't enough to satisfy him.
Christmas crept closer and Dazai felt that loneliness finally affect him, he's been alone on Christmas before, well not entirely. He'd spend Christmas morning with Chuuya before they split their separate ways, Chuuya went with the flags and that left Dazai to spend the day with Oda, only for them to rekindle at night and spent the last few hours of Christmas drinking, smoking and arguing about absolutely nothing.
Then of course the two years that Dazai had nowhere to go, he spent them alone (or with women, who were equally as lonely as he was) but back then there was no promise of more, there was no attachment to anyone, he wasn't bound, wasn't hoping to spend many more Christmas's with any of those women. But with Chuuya there was bound to be plenty more, that's why the first one- as an established couple- and not two pinning teenagers, who were very much in denial, was very important for the both of them.
The Agency was also beginning to notice how the festivity had completely seeped out of Dazai, there was no singing along to Christmas songs, chowing down on all the food available to him; and much to Kunikida's dismay, no more actual work. Everyone knew it, Dazai was genuinely crushed by his predicament and it was incredibly strange to witness it.
Atsushi wasn't sure if he could stand it much longer.
So he decided that he wasn't going to.
"Atsushi! You coming! If you stay out there longer, you'll end up looking like a snowman!" Yosano called out from her car, Atsushi looked up with eyes as if he'd seen Jesus himself, eyes sparkling with merriment, immediately sprinting towards the chic white car. He opened the door with shaky near-froze fingers and then quickly plopped himself into the seat. He put his seatbelt on and then let out a large sigh, Yosano pressed a few buttons on Atsushi's side of the car and then chuckled a little
"what are all those for?" The younger boy asked curiously as he cuddled into his jacket.
"Seat heating, I don't want you freezing. I don't think Dazai would appreciate attending your funeral for Christmas because you froze to death," she replied as she pulled into the road to drive.
"Oh, okay! I already feel so much better, thank you," Atsushi smiled, smiling charmingly at Yosano couldn't help but feel at peace with it, what a wonderful boy he is.
"You don't need to thank me, kid, I'm just doing what anyone would do," she justified, pulling into the motorway "so... how are you feeling? Are you excited? I know I am, I don't think I can stand this much longer."
The two laughed genuinely "yeah I definitely am. I'm also just happy I can do something for Dazai too, he's done so much for me, sometimes I feel like I can't repay him."
Yosano sighed, throwing the younger boy a gentle look "Dazai isn't expecting anything from you, there's no repaying each other for anything, we just take care of each other, and that's what you're doing. You're taking care of him. And he does of you. Repayment doesn't exist when there's love," Atsushi smiled and then turned his gaze towards the window, watching as Yosano drove by a countryside of snow and simply hummed.
The drive only took an hour, during which Atsushi and Yosano had a few chats, and allowed Atsushi some time to finally warm up and relax a little even after being cold for so long.
They drove over to their destination and took a special access route, Yosano couldn't help but watch as Atsushi marveled at all the planes, he'd never been this close to any in his entire life, unless you count whatever the Moby Dick was, but at the time he was too busy trying to live to pay attention to the grand flying vehicle.
There was an unmoving plane and not so far a gorgeous figure stood, he wasn't dressed for the winter at all but it didn't look like the cold affected him either, he had a cigarette dangling from his mouth as he spoke, hands stuffed into his trouser pockets, his sharp blue eyes panned over to the white car Atsushi and Yosano were situated in, he gave a small smirk and then held out his hand to his subordinates, some of them, however, pulled him into a great full hug and even though he was trying to remain at least somewhat professional (whether it was cause he was at work or because Atsushi and Yosano were watching, no one was sure) but regardless he broke out into a smile.
"What a hot shot," Yosano spoke, as she leaned back from the wheel "no wonder Dazai's all over him, I would be too if he was my type.
"He is very attractive," Atsushi agreed, "he just has this charisma that adds to his looks too,"
"You got that right, Dazai's one lucky man but then again he's not unattractive either. Actually, he's frustratingly handsome."
Atsushi laughed with Yosano "that's true."
The man in question waved his subordinates off afterwards and threw his cigarette on the floor, stamping on it to extinguish it before making his easy to the car. He opened the back car door and sat inside with a sigh "fucking finally!" He spoke, voice groggy and tired, yet filled with utter relief.
Atsushi smiled at turned around to face him "welcome back Chuuya," he greeted, face glowing happily.
Chuuya softened at the younger's greeting "I'm back. Thanks to all of you-"
"Save the thanks for when we get you and your damsel in distress back together again," Yosano spoke back as she put the car into reverse.
Chuuya threw his back into the seat and Atsushi couldn't help but blush a little, Chuuya was so effortlessly cool.
The drive back was uneventful for the most part just Atsushi catching Chuuya up on what's been going on with Dazai, nothing special, and if Chuuya wasn't so giddy and impatient he would have probably been paying attention but all he could think about was kissing and seeing Dazai.
"So you taking me to my house or..."
"We're going to the Agency for our usual party, but we'll only keep you for a bit, then you and Dazai are free to do whatever the two of you please."
"You're making it sound like we're planning something shameful," Chuuya spoke with a chuckle, amused by the thought.
"Well you're with Dazai, that's what everyone expects."
"Nah I don't think he's in the mood for fucking right now."
Atsushi covered up his choke with a cough, his face flushing in complete and utter embarrassment.
"Language Nakahara, there are innocent children present."
Atsushi looked petrified and downright betrayed at Yosano "not funny," he muttered as he placed his face into his hands utterly embarrassed, "this is not amusing at all," despite the trauma he'd just experienced, the laughter that followed from the two others in the car made him unable to keep himself from laughing as well.
"Do you think they'll be back soon?" Kyouka asked as she put up tinsel on the walls. "They've been gone for a while..."
"You looking forward to seeing Nakahara?" Kunikida questioned, stopping in his tracks towards the paper plates. Their eyes met and Kyouka looked a bit sheepish at the prospect, she was still having a hard time understanding that it was okay to miss the people she left behind, and she also seemed to have trouble understanding that nobody at the Agency found it improper that she felt this way, it was completely understandable, plus, it wasn't like anyone could hate her for it, not when Dazai was so attached to Chuuya and Atsushi and Akutagawa were spotted on a...date? Well, no one was sure. But it was just the two of them and whether their faces were red from the cold or each other was also a mystery (one that Ranpo had of course managed to solve, it was the former.)
But kyouka wasn't the type to back down anymore, that was something she'd learnt from Atsushi, "yeah... I miss him, Dazai's been keeping him all to himself but at least he's been texting me from time to time," she looked at the tinsel in her hands and smiled "I didn't reply at first because I wasn't sure if everyone here would be upset with me but he kept texting me anyway. I'm glad he did, he tells me about his day sometimes, and I do too. He said we can go shopping so I can get some clothes."
Kunikida smiled, placing the paper plates down "I'll admit, he's probably the only Mafioso that doesn't really fit into that box. He throws me off guard sometimes.... with how kind he can be. I'm not surprised Dazai is clingy to him, he'd do with some kindness... well from someone who can tolerate him that is," Kunikida grumbled that last part, probably from self-inflicted embarrassment.
Even so, Kyouka laughed "it's okay Kunikida, I'm sure Dazai doesn't want you to kiss him under the mistletoe," she giggled, nearly falling off the chair with her bubbly laughter.
The stern man turned impossibly red "I never insinuated that!" But all that did was make Kyouka laugh even harder.
"Merry Christmas Kunikida," she grinned, wiping her eyes from her tears.
He seemed a bit taken aback by that, it seemed more like a move Atushi would pull, but even so he smiled softly back at her "Merry Christmas Kyouka."
Suddenly, the door opened "ahh we're done, thank god, my butt was starting to hurt," Atsushi rubbed his behind and sighed with a stretch.
"That's what she said," Chuuya replied and Yosnao snorted, elbowing him in the ribs slightly.
Kyouka's head whipped around, her eyes glowed as her eyes fell onto the ginger male "Chuuya!" She called out, wobbling off the chair and setting aside the tinsel, she ran towards him and attacked him with a massive hug, the older lost his balance a little, but he still ended up laughing as he spun them around.
He placed his hand on her head lovingly "how's my little princess doing?" He spoke, smiling at her brightly.
The girl in question flushed "I'm okay, me and Kunikida were just talking about you, I was being a bit impatient."
Chuuya pet her head "wow everyone's just missing me so much, I must be one special man," he spoke voice smug but still fond, clearly he was mocking himself.
"Don't get ahead of yourself fancy hat," Ranpo shot back, putting his legs on the table.
Chuuya placed Kyouka down and then threw a box of sweets at him "sure about that?" Ranpo looked down at them, not even bothering to hide his genuine surprise. "Saw them and thought of you, they're good by the way, I tried some."
The detective sucked his cheeks in "hmph fine, guess we did miss you," he grumbled and everyone laughed lightly.
Chuuya looked around the agency but the one person he really wanted to see wasn't there "so Uhm..."
"Dazai's at yours right now, we're going to call him later to come in," Kunikida spoke behind him "you're going to be a surprise."
"So... I'm like your present then?"
"Pretty much."
Chuuya smiled at the blonde man "that sounds just perfect," he spoke, reaching up to squeeze Kunikida's shoulder great fully, after all, he put in the most effort, second to Atsushi, to get him here early, even if it was against the treaty the Mafia and Agency had made, "thank you for everything, I'm in your debt."
"No need to thank me, I was just taking care of a friend."
Chuuya paused for a moment, Kunikida could see the though rushing around Chuuya's head just from his eyes but he didn't ask about it, there was no need. As Chuuya sighed he went and sat down on one of the couches "you know, sometimes I hate the fact that Dazai left the Mafia, but then I look at all of you and the life he lives and I just can't help but feel happy that he's here. I'm glad he's got friends he can depend on and that make him happy and of course a good partner."
Kunikida looked out the window at the gently cascading snow "not like Dazai and I compare to the two of you."
"No, definitely not. But you're the best candidate next to me. That's impressive enough as it is. It's hard to deal with a shit-head like him."
Kunikida chuckled and pushed his glasses up his nose "tell me about it."
Dazai huffed and rolled around in Chuuya's (their) massive bed, usually by this time he'd have a Christmas party with the Agency. But for some reason this year, there has been no mention of any party, from anyone. It was odd but Dazai didn't want to ask either, it was ever so slightly embarrassing that he looked forward to these little parties, especially when, in the beginning, he thought it was mundane- well that was until he went to them and he genuinely enjoyed himself. So to not hear anything about another one, was actually kind of a bummer.
It also didn't help that the decision to not have a party was taken this year, out of all the years this could happen they chose this year, as if Dazai wasn't lonely enough.
He groaned and pulled the duvet over his head, making a small hole for his nose, he'd always had a problem with things covering his nose, he suddenly would feel suffocated even if nothing harmful was around him. The only time that didn't apply was kissing and that might be because he was biased.
He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, his muscles relaxing a little in time with his exhale, at least the bed was decently warm, even with Dazai's frankly quite pathetic body warmth. On the bright side though, he wasn't going to be alone for much longer, just minutes later, as Dazai's limbs started to go numb, his phone rang.
He shot up, nearly whacking his head on the headboard, he blinked a few times to adjust his vision and refocus it, and then reached for his phone, surprised to see that Ranpo was calling him, that was odd, the only time he called Dazai was when he'd leave the Agency (to off himself) and Ranpo would ask him to come back with sweets, Dazai always hated when he got these calls cause that meant that Ranpo truly knew he wasn't out to actually die. However, being in that predicament; always being figured out by Ranpo made him sympathize a lot more with his co-workers and Chuuya, he understood how frustrating it must be to have so much as the way you breathe planned out before you even begin to take that breath.
"Uhh... Hello? Ranp-"
"Dazaiiiiii! What's taking so long!? The party's already started, you're gonna miss out you ass wipe."
"heh? Since when was there a party?" Dazai questioned as he scratched the top of his head in confusion.
"There's always a party, you should know that by now."
"Well, I wasn't told!" he retaliated, a pout very obvious on his lips.
"Dazai, you've worked here almost 3 years and you're telling me you don't know the obvious, has Fancy hat being away, made your IQ drop?"
"Hmph! Don't bring my ultimate weakness into this."
"Then get over here, the party's not the same without you,"
"AWWW Ranpo!! You're so romantic!!! Stop! you're making me blush"
"yeah, yeah, come over. And bring me some mini marshmallows for my hot chocolate while you're on your way."
"I've become a slave" Dazai muttered only to have Ranpo mock him on the other side of the phone. Despite his petulant tone, Dazai was buzzing as he got out of bed, he put his clothes on with fluidity and wrapped any scarf he could get his hands on quickest around his neck, as well as some fingerless gloves- one's that Atsushi had so gracefully gifted him.
He slid his shoes on in a hurry and practically sprinted out of the door, wallet and keys in hand, not bothering to place them nicely in his pockets, he could just shove them in while he was walking.
"I see him!!" Atsushi called out, looking back from the window with a bright grin.
"Has he got my marshmallows?" Ranpo asked from the chair at the food table.
Atsushi's smile turned into an expression that most would describe as 'trying not to burst out into laughter' but eventually just shook his head "Yeah, I see them in his hand."
"Good, then I'm satisfied... also Fancy hat, could you stop bouncing your leg, it's distracting," Ranpo shot, his voice playful.
Chuuya looked away from Kenji who was trying to bribe him to do 'Chubby bunny' with him, "Then stop looking, smartass."
"He's excited to see his boyfriend, you jump for joy when Poe gives you one of his new books, don't even try to deny it," Yosano spoke, waving her fork around, the piece of cake she was eating only a hair away from falling off. If there was one person Ranpo didn't argue with, that would be Yosano, so he rightfully kept his mouth shut and settled on watching as Chuuya got up, to take a drink of water before his boyfriend emerged from the door and probably clung to him like a koala.
Just as he placed the empty polystyrene cup down, the door opened and there he was, Dazai.
He looked the same, but his usually pale skin was red from the cold, giving him a cute fake blush, that was downright anime worthy. He was breathless and clearly cold but still ecstatic, he was just beautiful.
His face changing from excitement to surprise was worth millions, millions that Chuuya was willing to give.
Dazai couldn't believe his eyes, was this really Chuuya, was he really here, right in front of him, looking so god damn dashing?
Through his peripheral Dazai could see Ranpo, but he really couldn't be bothered to walk over and give him his marshmallows normally, not when his gorgeous boyfriend was standing right in front of him after what felt like lifetimes apart.
In an easy sprint, he threw the marshmallows straight at Ranpo's face and encased Chuuya in a bone-crushing hug.
One of his hands wrapped around Chuuya's waist and the other cupped the back of his head as he buried his face into the crook of Chuuya's neck. Chuuya smiled and sighed, hugging Dazai back just as warmly, he breathed in deeply, finally smelling something that felt so distant yet familiar.
"Chuuya... how?" The taller asked, breathless and smiling.
Chuuya simply shrugged smugly "got your friends to thank for this wonderful present you've received," he replied, a bedroom-worthy smirk on his face, it almost felt a bit too inviting for the place they were in.
"Someone bleach my eyes," Ranpo muttered, trying, with all his might, to look away and yet somehow failing miserably. Yosano and Fukuzawa could only snicker at him.
The two were so engrossed in each other they didn't even see Tanizaki with Naomi on his shoulders approaching. Naomi shuffled a bit and then leaned over, dangling a lovely mistletoe above the two's heads. And Dazai being so airhead and in disbelief didn't even realize it was there but Chuuya guided him along and placed a cheeky finger under his chin, tilting hsi lovers head upwards.
Dazai grinned when he registered what it was and then looked back down at Chuuya "say no more," then in one fluid motion he spun them around and kissed him deeply, both of them smiling into the kiss happily.
The Agency cheered and clapped even after they parted " Merry Christmas Chuuya," Dazai whispered breathlessly.
"Merry Christmas Osamu," he whispered back before delving in for another, much-needed kiss.
And thus the celebration began, drinks were poured (amongst the adults, though no one told Kyouka and Kenji off when they tried some wine. Kenji didn't like it at all but Kyouka took quite a liking to it and was allowed to have a quarter of a cup more, Chuuya was very pleased about it). They also danced and laughed, especially when Kunikida tripped over, no thanks to how much he'd drunk, and Dazai being Dazai wasted no time with whipping out his phone quicker than he'd run to Chuuya and captured as many photos from as many different angles as he could get before being lazily strangled by the man in question.
It was a goodnight; in the end, Dazai and Chuuya had stayed a lot longer than they had first anticipated.
By 8 in the evening, however, when things had quietened down, to something akin to a late night date, Chuuya and Dazai had decided to take their leave, booking a taxi and speeding off home (giggling in the back seat of the cab like the drunken idiots they are).
Despite the madness surrounding them, when they got out of the cab, they walked out quite properly, they intertwined their hands and walked casually -though with a few missteps and trip-ups here and there. It hit Dazai suddenly when they reached Chuuya's front door, that there was still one more surprise left for this evening, just instead of it being for him it was for Chuuya.
Even so, Dazai didn't hesitate when he opened the door, he took his shoes off immediately upon entering, a habit that had been hammered into him because of Chuuya, and then made the room so Chuuya could come in as well.
Following Dazai after he took off his shoes, Chuuya had honestly not been expecting a fully decorated apartment to be awaiting him, he wouldn't have expected something like this from Dazai. He turned towards Dazai, drunk gaze lighting up with nothing but amazement and unadulterated joy "You did this?" he asked in disbelief.
Dazai smiled softly at him, his head screaming at him, that he was utterly in love, despite what his head was saying he shrugged "who else? Santa?" he chuckled, quite proud of his work, though he was trying to be nonchalant about it.
The other broke out into a smile and then reached out to slide a hand around his wonderful boyfriend's waist, pulling him into a kiss "It's beautiful Osamu," he spoke voice silky and so incredibly warm, if Dazai wasn't careful, he might find himself melting any minute now.
"Stop using my first name," Dazai replied bashfully, he kind of felt the need to hide every time Chuuya did that. He was the only person who had that privilege, so naturally, Dazai didn't hear it that often.
"Why should I?" Chuuya asked, although he already knew the answer to that "Can't handle it?"
"No, not really and especially when I'm drunk and more prone to... to my emotions."
"Maybe you should drink more often then."
"Absolutely not."
They laughed, shimmying around each other to hug "anything you wanna do?" Chuuya asked, willing to give himself wholly and truly to his partner "I'll do whatever you ask," maybe it was the alcohol talking because anyone was smart enough not to say something like that to the genius manipulator Dazai Osamu, but Chuuya really did mean it and they were drunk anyway.
"Bed and cuddling, I don't care much about everything else."
Chuuya looked up at him and nodded "That sounds like a wonderful idea."
And so after a warm shower, they crawled into bed and Dazai had never been more relieved, this bed had once been so empty and cold and now it was neither, Chuuya was there to heat Dazai's cold feet and he was there to spoon him because as much as Dazai didn't want to admit that he liked being the small spoon, he truly did love it.
Chuuya carded his hands through Dazai's chocolate hair, smiling when he heard Dazai sigh in contentment "I miss you Chuuya."
Chuuya raised an eyebrow and chuckled a little "I'm right here, you idiot," he spoke, his hands moving to Dazai's waist to squeeze it a little.
The taller turned around and looked up at Chuuya, the pillows and duvet rustling in response, it was probably the loudest noise in the room "Yeah well I still miss you."
"The last time you said that we had to fuck."
"I'm not saying that this time, I'm just..." he scrunched his nose in discomfort "I'm just saying my feelings"
Chuuya kissed him on the nose and traversed a little lower, kissing his neck with ease "I'm glad, you bastard"
Dazai weaved his hands through Chuuya's hair, pulling him close "Love you."
"I love you too," Chuuya replied, parting from his neck with a small smile, he then plopped very unflatteringly on top of Dazai with a grunt "Now don't expect me to move, I'm too tired"
Dazai smiled and wrapped his arms around Chuuya lovingly, kissing him on top of the head "you got it, partner," He could feel Chuuya's heart racing, it was one of those things that always made him blush, though Dazai did like making occasional jokes about how he felt like he was cheating on Kunikida. Now wasn't the time for that though.
Silently Chuuya shifted his arm, grabbing one of Dazai's hands from around his waist, only to lace their fingers together, their arms splayed awkwardly in comparison to the rest of their bodies.
Nothing else was said but nothing else needed to be said, because Dazai in all of his 22 years of living, found that he felt most content with his Chuuya by his side.