Work Text:
«Well... Guess I died.»
You Watanabe had been afraid of her own death for a long, long time. Afraid to leave the world and become nothing but a bad memory to those who had met her, afraid of not getting to redeem herself to those she had wronged. She had built a barrier between herself and the rest of the world, wishing that no one else would suffer along her side.
Her thought process had been incorrect, unfortunately so, and three who had tried to jump the barrier were defrauded drastically by the hands of destiny and herself.
Once it had been for Chika. Betrayal of a friend is a great sin, and she had committed it in the worst way possible, and prison never forgave the weak who entered it. Chika unfortunately never took a step out of it.
Twice it was for Yoshiko. War is ferocious, it will never stop until every one of us is affected by it, like a terrible plague ready to bring death to us all. Death welcomed their friendship after her betrayal, Yoshiko had always been close to Chika and it was clear such news would affect her as if it had been done to her. Soon enough, Death welcomed Yoshiko as well.
Thrice it was for Riko. It was a chain where every single event led to what happened next, and just when they had seen each other again, just when everything was about to be resolved, everything ended.
There was no redemption, and even if it was, how could she do it if they were long gone? That would have been the gigantic question tormenting her if she had been alive still, the question with no possible answers that would make her feel guilty and uneasy until the end of times, but she was dead, and the question had split and changed due to the circumstances.
Was it time to ask for forgiveness yet? Could she even find those she searched for?
She had seen numerous souls roaming free earlier, before entering the cabin she and Riko Sakurauchi had met their demise at. It was easy to assume all of them would be near as well, but, where?
"Here."
She heard a cold whisper behind her, and she couldn't prevent the shiver that crossed her body. She immediately knew whom that voice belonged to, even if she hadn't heard it for the past 9 years.
"Chika-chan...?"
"Mhm! That's me... Little ol' me, it has been a while, hasn't it?"
Sunken, red eyes met her own blue ones, and it felt like they were teenagers once more. Chika looked almost the same as the last time she saw her, except she looked extremely tired, devoid of the energy that was so characteristic of her.
And of course, the big patch of blood that tainted the side of the orange uniform she wore, or the same red liquid smeared on her hands and face, but that's not something to be talked about.
"Aren't you going to say something, You-chan? It's been..." she looked up and counted with her fingers until You decided to respond.
"Nine years..."
"Yeah, I figured it couldn't be more than ten, you still look pretty young after all... Hehe."
Silence invaded them, and although it was quite comforting, she still felt Riko's unseeing eyes judging her for not saying everything she wanted to say.
It was quite strange to be having a chat with Chika in front of not only one dead body but two, it wasn't the strangest thing she had done or experienced though, being outside of her body as a lost soul definitely won the "Most Weird Thing That Has Happened to Me" contest, so she just went for it.
"I'm sorry."
Chika looked extremely confused.
"Huh? Why are you apologizing?"
"For... Everything," You sighed, "Such a long time has passed, and I've wanted to tell you this since forever, but I couldn't back then."
Chika tilted her head, confusion still clear on her face, "Are we talking about the whole Tsuki thing?"
You nodded, looking quite crestfallen. "Yes, I... Should've never gone against you that day," She wanted to continue, but Chika interrupted before she could pronounce another word.
"Nothing that happened back then was your fault, okay? If anything, Yoshiko and I are more responsible for all of this mess. You were just a pawn in someone else’s game."
"Still, I let myself be easily manipulated and I didn't see your side like a proper friend should have."
Chika looked down for a moment and sighed deeply, as if not wanting to say the next thing, "Then... Why didn't you say anything back then?"
Why didn't she?
That was one of the questions that plagued her mind for so many years, and the answer she had found one night had left her remorseful and as if that wasn't enough, sleep deprived as well.
She had been afraid.
Fear was a terribly complex feeling, it could make anyone act irrationally in an attempt to protect their own mental or physical integrity, and that was what had happened to her all those years before. She had taken all the wrong decisions, all to protect herself from it all.
"... I feared that the wound I opened was still way too new, and that you would never forgive me if I came apologizing to you so early..." You wasn't known for courage the past few years, so taking both of Chika's hands in the moment was quite surprising to her. "So, I let time pass us by, I created a distance between us trying to convince myself it was for the best, and suddenly you weren't here anymore and I couldn't say everything I wanted and needed to say to you."
Chika slowly looked up after a few seconds. Seconds in which You found herself suffering from a severe burning of anxiousness in her chest, the new light in Chika's eyes, however, extinguished this terrible feeling as quickly as it had appeared.
"I knew it!" She exclaimed, "And I told Yoshiko-chan! She owes me a box full of fresh mikans now!"
The confused one was You now, and seeing this, Chika continued her explanation filled with energy You hadn't seen for a while now.
"I never ever stopped believing in this. Our bond, we've known each other since forever," Chika pulled You towards her via their linked hands. "You have always been forgiven, You-chan."
"Holy Mikans... I can't believe she's done that."
"I mean, yeah, Mari is quite unpredictable sometimes."
A few days had passed since she died, and she hadn't seen anyone she knew other than Chika, and turns out there wasn't much to do as a ghost, death was an entity that based itself around freeing people from their boring, common and cage like lives, but at what cost?
"Do you think she's gonna go ‘bleh’ soon?" Chika made a knife motion near her neck for perfect representation, "Kanan has been looking a bit lonely lately."
"I sure hope not, she's the last of Aqours alive after all."
"Well... Looking alive, you can't tell me she's not dead inside after everything that has happened."
"Hanging out with Yoshiko-chan for so long rubbed off her thoughts on you, didn't it?"
Chika looked like she was thinking, "Hehe... Maybe it did."
You felt more at peace though, being bored was a fair price sometimes.
"You know? These past few days have been awesome, You-chan."
"Huh? Why?" They both stopped in their eternal walk toward the cabin.
"Because I got to spend them with you, silly! It's all I've ever wished for, and it has finally come true!"
"That's sweet..." she interlocked their hands, so they could continue walking, "I think so too."
Her death had arrived, and she had done nothing she wished to do in her lifetime but talking to Chika once more made her realize maybe it was for the best after all.