Chapter Text
Tim's brows wrinkle and he shakes his left leg in anticipation as he stares down at his phone, reading the message Lucy sent him over ten minutes ago for what feels like the millionth time.
Despite the warmth on this sunny November day in Los Angeles California, goosebumps line his arms as he tries to rack his brain for what the, "Wait for me after end of shift. We need to talk," text might be about.
They've barely spoken for about six weeks now. Not since they returned from their undercover op and found out Rosalind abducted Chris and left him to bleed out on the couch at his apartment. Had his neighbor not noticed his door was left ajar and seen the pool of blood on the floor and called the ambulance and rendered aid, Sanford likely wouldn't be alive right now.
He sighs heavily at the memory of that day, of the day prior during their undercover op, and his gut twists and spins at the thought of how much everything has changed.
"Hey," Lucy says, her voice shaky and far from its normal upbeat, cheery tone.
Tim looks up from his phone and searches her face, not missing the way she's nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and avoiding his eyes. "Hey," he replies, almost as equally unsure of himself as she sounds.
"We, uh, we need to talk."
"I gathered that from your text," he shakes his phone in the air while he avoids her gaze, but he slides it into his pocket, ready to give her his undivided attention and see what this is about.
Lucy's hands fidget as she slowly moves to take a seat beside Tim on the concrete garden edging he is sitting on in front of the LAPD Mid-Whilshire division. She opens her mouth to speak, not once, not twice, but three times, but the words just won't form.
"Lucy," he says softly, all of his bitter edges and masculine bravado fading away, "Whatever it is, it's okay, you can talk to me. You can still talk to me."
She clasps her hands together, hoping she's able to hide the way they're shaking, and dares to let her eyes meet his for the first time in weeks. She sucks in a deep breath, and in a rapid burst, blurts out, "I'm pregnant!"
This time, Tim is the one to open his mouth to speak, but he can't form the words. He feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. She's staring at him desperately, waiting for him to say something, anything, and he tries like hell to muster up one of those fake smiles of his that he reserves for situations he'd rather light himself on fire than he be in but knows he has to be polite in, but he can't will himself to make it happen.
"Congratulaitons," he finally chokes out, in a breath he isn't sure is much above a strangled whisper and he doesn't even try to hide the bitterness as he adds, "I'm sure Chris is thrilled."
"He doesn't know," she replies, shaking her head and looking at him incredulously.
"Why are you telling me this and not your boyfriend?" He barks, finding himself annoyed she appears to be coming to him for some sort of advice on how to tell Chris she's carrying his child.
"Because he isn't the father, you are!" She shoots back sharply, her eyes narrowing and her mouth forming a stern line.
Once again, Tim feels like the wind has been knocked out of him, but this is less like a punch to the gut and more like being thrown into ice-water. His eyes bore into hers, and studies her expression, before an idea clicks in his brain.
"Th-This isn't some kinda joke, is it?" He stammers. "Because if it is, it's not funny, Lucy."
"Do you seriously think I'd joke about this, Tim?
"You practically told me you were in love with me as a joke!" He counters, his voice high and squeaky, as he tosses his hands into the air. "I-I fake proposed to my girlfriend in front of you. This, it's…it's exactly the kinda thing we joke about."
"This isn't some dumb joke!" She insists firmly through a cracked voice, her bottom lip quivering and her big brown eyes watering.
He sucks in a heavy breath and nods. "So you're really pregnant?"
She nods.
"With a baby?"
She nods again.
"My baby," he says, though it doesn't come off as a question but more as a declaration.
"Yes, Tim. That's what I've been trying to tell you for the last ten minutes." She's annoyed and scared and she doesn't bother trying to hide the annoyed part.
"Well, okay. Uh, okay. And uh, you're sure it isn't Chris'? Because you know you and I, it was, it was just that once and-."
"Chris and I haven't…" She shakes her head. "Not since Rosalind- and before that we always used condoms. Every time. You and I…we didn't."
He nods in understanding and finds himself staring at her again, trying to find words, but he can't seem to find the right ones. In the midst of it, he somehow the corner of his lip twitches as he says, "So, we're having a baby."
Her lips purse and she shakes her head rapidly. "I-I don't know. I haven't decided yet what I'm gonna do. What I sh-should do."
"His unintentional smile quickly melts and the gut punched feeling returns. "Oh, Uh, okay. I just - I figured since you were telling me, that you'd made up your mind."
"I mean, this is your baby, too. You deserve to know. To be involved in the decision, right?"
He tilts his head, shrugs his shoulders, and lets go of a heavy breath. "Ultimately, it's your call. I'm not gonna tell you what to do with your body. It affects you more."
She leans forward and her head falls into her hands. "I know, I know. But, I'm asking you, do you want this baby? If I decide to go through with it, it'll change your whole life. You and Ashley, she's gonna know what we did and -"
He holds up a hand and interrupts her. "Ashley and I, we, uh, we broke up."
"What, when?
"After..." he trails off.
"You didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me? She squeaks.
He shrugs and changes the subject back to the more pressing matter. "Doesn't matter right now. Point is, that's not gonna be an issue as far as our kid goes. And it wouldn't be either way," he insists as he learns forward and inserts himself into her space and reaches out to tilt her chin up so she'll meet his eyes. "If you decide you want this, I'm gonna be there for you and our kid, 100%. No matter what."
She swallows and bites back a strangled sob that threatens to escape her throat as a few tears escape the corners of her eyes. "I know you will be."
"Good."
"I just, I don't know, Tim. I've always wanted kids," she confesses. "I just thought it'd happen a little differently, you know? That we'd fall in love and we'd date and then be married a few years first and-" she stops suddenly and shakes her head. "I mean not you and me," she corrects. "Just, you know, the father and me."
"Right. Right," he mutters, his lips pressed together tightly.
She dabs at the corner of her eye. "But, I don't know, just because this wasn't part of my plan, it doesn't mean I should just, just get rid of it." More tears fall from the corner of her eyes. "I don't know if I can just get rid of our baby, Tim."
"You don't have to," he replies, reaching out and cautiously placing a hand on her knee. "I told you, I'm all in if you decide to do this."
"I know, I know." She sniffles and looks up, both of her knees shaking violently. "It's just, when I think of telling Chris…"
Tim pulls his hand away from where it'd been resting on her bouncing knee and his head falls. "Chris. Right." He forces himself to look up and his own voice trembles as he asks, "Do you love him?"
Her head snaps back down to eye level with Tim and her body freezes. "I-We haven't even been dating that long…"
"Is it worth it to you, then? Making that decision just to stay with someone you don't even love or see a future with?"
She starts to reply, but she falls short.
"Listen, just please don't make this decision out of guilt about what happened to him. Okay? Iit wasn't your fault-"
"But while we were-,"
"I know. I know, but what we did, had nothing to do with what Rosalind did to him. She'd have done it either way. That's not on you. Not on us. The world doesn't work that way."
She shoots him a look, as if she doesn't quite believe him and she is still carrying that guilt.
"Just, please, think about it. Okay? Really think about it, because I don't want you to make a decision you might regret the rest of your life because you feel guilty, or…or scared-"
"Of course I'm scared!" she stammers. "If we do this, or even if we don't do this," her hands gesture between them, "I've ruined the most important relationship of my life. You and I, we can never go back to how things were between us before that night."
He stares at her, dumbfounded and in shock.
"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"No. You're right," he cuts her off. "You're right."
"We never should have done this," she laments. "It wasn't worth the risk."
He pauses to steel himself for his next words. "Unless it was."
She recoils, physically taken aback at his words. "What?"