Work Text:
Tommy had found an old camera for when he was young
He still remembers most of the things from back then but he decides to watch one of the videos anyway
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(12/21/2009)
"No, it's mine" a five year old Tommy whined loudly to his older brother
"No, it's mine" a ten year old Wilbur said back
A twenty-nine year old Technoblade grabs the cookie while the kids aren't looking he breaks it in half and hands one to the man behind the camera then takes the camera and turns it to the thirty year old blonde man who had been sitting behind it
"Mate, this is a video for those two, when they're older, I doubt that they'll care what their dad looked like in 2009." Phil said smiling
"Well when they're older and stir that one to remember your face considering, how much of a decrepit old man you are now."
"I'm literally just a year older than you mate."
"Decrepit old man" techno said well pointing at him only from his elbow down could be seen by the camera
"Hey, where did the cookie go?" Tommy whined
"Someone must have taken it when you weren't paying attention Theseus."
"Don't look at me"
"it wasn't Wilbur."
*beep beep beep*
"Oh low battery I'm gonna go charge th-" *click*
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The camera had died cutting him off
Tommy wasn't five anymore, he's was eighteen and crying over some old video from when he was five
It was his first Christmas alone
Well it wouldn't be, Phil, Wilbur, and Techno were going yo get him but he didn't know that
He never had a Christmas alone even when his mom died, his dad was still there and so was his brother and so was Techno
Now none of them were there, he was alone
He tried not to cry as he watched more of the videos but he failed, he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, wishing for his family back
He gotten snowed in, so he was stuck at the house he grew up in whereas everyone else was at Wilbur's
He had left after getting into an argument with all of them he assumed none of them would come looking for him
Leaving him there alone for Christmas, he had food and power and wouldn't die before Christmas but he missed them
Of course he missed them they were his family and he loved them
He cried more unable to do much else
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Eventually decided to go to bed but he couldn't bring himself to sleep in his own room
He felt like he was five again crawling into his dad's bed
It felt wrong laying there without the comforting present of his father or Techno in the room but it still felt safer and more like
He laid there staring up at the ceiling wondering if anyone actually missed him
Why would they?
He was never a good son or good brother or good whatever he was to Techno, nephew? Best friend's kid? Son? He entirely sure he knew he wasn't a good one though
He wasn't good to any of them, he was annoying and loud, they were right to get mad at him, they were right to hate him
Of course all of that was just the demons in his head getting control but that didn't make him feel any better
He knew it wasn't true, he knew they cared about him but it didn't always feel like they did
He cried more missing his family
Felt good to cry he couldn't remember the last time he had
It wasn't just his family he missed he missed his friends too but it was a different type of loneliness
Despite the fact that he was home that didn't feel like it none of the people who made it his home were there and as far as he was aware they all hated him so they never would be again
He cried more, again, and eventually fell asleep
A part of him was he would never wake up and the other part of him was he would wake up and his family would be there
Neither part of him got what they wanted he woke up there was cold and he was alone
You never felt so alone in his entire life