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You wanted to say that you had been scared when the pirates attacked. Honestly, that would’ve been a sane person’s reaction. Of all those you knew, fear, admiration, or contempt were the only prominent sentiments when the topic of pirates was concerned. Not at all like the plain indifference you had found yourself face to face with when a pirate ship laid siege to the vessel you were on.
From the moment you had first embarked on this journey, the crew had turned on you. Saying you were an omen of bad luck and shunning you from joining them for literally anything. You were a solitary type so you didn’t mind much, instead minding your own as the days turned into weeks on the vast ocean. Until one day though, their superstitions would be proven right as the ship was put under attack.
And you felt nothing. No panic, no fear, not a sense of relief that the endless boredom aboard was finally coming to, what appeared to be, a quick and permanent end. Not even a glimmer of dread when someone called out the name ‘Queen Anne’s Revenge’. Blackbeard’s vessel. The most feared pirate in these waters and a scoundrel who’s plundering would keep his name on people’s tongue, even well past his time. His exploits would eventually pale, further down in history, in comparison to the great pirate queen Zheng Yi Sao. Though that wouldn’t be for another hundred years or so.
No, Blackbeard or The Queen Anne’s Revenge were the last names anyone aboard a ship in these waters wanted to hear as the sound of cannon fire and explosions filled the air. Yet, you found yourself strangely calm. You had a gun that you knew how to handle decently well, as well as a cutlass, meaning you could stand your ground when splinters and embers dusted the air around you like an uncommon snowfall.
The crew was easily overpowered by Blackbeard's men and you soon found yourself dropping your weapons as well, in lieu of a better option. It was then that Blackbeard himself came onto the ship, looking for the captain. You eyed him as he walked past you.
Your captain was a small man. He quivered in front of the pirate, who seemed the size of a building in sheer presence alone. The captain cowered and pleaded. Blackbeard looked unswayed. He appeared annoyed if anything, as if he’d hoped for more of a challenge. He turned on his heel and looked around, his piercing gaze making each of your crew mates avert their eyes, only daring to steal a glance when they felt he wasn’t looking directly at them. Until Blackbeard's eyes came to rest on you.
You were standing among your crew mates, a little off to the side, with your hands up and the barrel of a gun pressed to your back. Blood splatters adorned your shirt, like the floral brocade vests you had seen some of the nobles wear in the bigger cities. Your eyes followed the pirate captain as he made a gesture of dismissal at the cowering man, who was pleading for his life at his feet, without looking at him. Instead his gaze was fixed on you, like a predator who had found something to play with. He sauntered your way, with a casual confidence that told you he had no doubts about who was running this show.
His grin was one that didn’t hide his interest and, as he stopped in front of you, you had to push away the thought that he had something likeable about him. Like a mildly deranged uncle. Not at all like the mythical monster that had been described to you.
“And what have we here then?”
His voice was gruff, like that of a man who was used to shouting over cannon fire. You didn’t answer him, instead looking into his dark eyes and finding that there was something lurking behind that terrifying facade. Something unusual.
His eyes bore back into yours and the ship became eerily quiet as your fellow crew members wondered if you had a death wish, staring down this man become myth. The soft whimpering stopped as your own captain decided to answer in your stead.
“They’re no-one, sir. We’re just dropping them off in Havana-”
Without hesitation Blackbeard whipped around and bellowed at the top of his lungs:
“WHO ASKED YE, YE BLEEDIN MAGGOT?!”
The captain yelped, resuming his cowering, and Blackbeard turned back to you. The man clearly had a temper on him yet something told you it was not as unpredictable as one might think.
“The only one here who be lookin me in the eye, ye’ve got some stones, kid. What’s yer name?”
You let the silence resume for a moment as you scanned his face. He couldn’t have been that much older than you, somewhere in his forties at the most, but his face was weathered well beyond his years from his time at sea. His dark beard, which he was named for, was lush but unkempt. His eyes were intense, riddled with a targeted insanity that was indistinguishable from genius.
“What does it matter, sir, if I’m to be dining in hell tonight I see no reason to leave my name with you before I go.”
“Ha! To hell ye be goin then?”
You didn’t answer. Not knowing exactly why, you just flashed him a smile. The last thing you expected was the big grin that took over his face in response.
“Ye be an intrepid thing, aren’t ye?”
He let out a hearty laugh that seemed to put the fear of god into the men around you as they flinched and whimpered in response.
“How’s about ye sail a bit, ey, see the seas before securin yer spot in hell?”
Your face betrayed your surprise and you looked at him. Was he…. offering you a place aboard his ship? To sail? With him?
“You… would have me sail with you, sir?”
He grinned even wider. There was a type of boyish mischief about the way he smiled, excited to think about the mayhem he would continue to cause.
“Aye, I would. Someone who don’t scare easily is someone I can use. What be yer talents?”
“In sailing? I am good with maps, with planning and organising.”
“That’ll do.” He looked you over and muttered, mostly to himself. “Like a shrewd eastern wind.”
“Pardon?”
“What do ye say, sail aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge under me. Raise a little hell before goin there yerself.”
Was it smart to join Blackbeard’s crew? Probably not, but that didn’t stop you from nodding. The thoughts trailed after the action and you vaguely considered that they should’ve come before accepting his offer but it was too late. Your body had decided before your mind could.
Time was a whirlwind and most of what happened after never entered your long term memory. Your old ship was sunk and its riches were plundered. The crew killed or dispersed.
You were now part of Blackbeard's, or ‘Edward Thatch’ as you had come to know him, crew and as bored and excluded you had been on your transport vessel, as accepted and excited you felt yourself become as your time on the Revenge went on. As it turned out, being an outcast was a welcomed prerequisite in the pirate lifestyle and your new crewmates welcomed you with open arms and bottles of rum. The more time you spent aboard the Revenge, the more you learned that your first assessment of Blackbeard as a mildly unhinged uncle-type wasn’t that far off. He had taken you in, of sorts, and it didn’t take long at all before he started testing and instructing you. Seeing if you had what it took and would rise to his challenges. It had to be said that his idea of ‘instructing’ a new recruit was a little unorthodox, opting to let them figure it out themselves and letting them face the repercussions of failing as well as reap the benefits of success. You were a quick study and before long were finding yourself joining him on excursions to parlay or barter, or bent over maps and ledgers to plan the next move to present him with. He enjoyed having you around. You were smart without a particular inclination towards money or power, which meant that you were to be trusted above those who did. Which was most of them.
The first time you had been allowed to go on business for Edward by yourself, you had fully intended on using the opportunity to run away, pretending that the life on the open sea with your crewmates wasn’t far more appealing than the silent life that ended in peaceful obscurity that was otherwise promised to you. However, you had found yourself completing your errand and returned to your hammock aboard before you fully registered what that would mean. ‘Just to fully win his trust’, you promised yourself. But the second opportunity to run away came and went, as did the third, and the fourth, until you finally were ready to admit to yourself that this new life suited you better than any you had ever contemplated.
It was months before the Revenge finally docked in Nassau. By which time you had found yourself in Edwards' good graces, or as close to that as possible with a man like that. Your wit had earned his confidence, your calm nature his respect, and your quirkiness his care. Though you were definitely a confidant and one of the few aboard who were privy to his real thoughts, it never escaped you how Edward tended to treat you just a little bit more like a kid than the rest of the crew. Slapping your shoulder when you came up with a plan or worked out where the next big merchant ship would be and how well it would be guarded, or giving you the disappointed look of a guardian who was let down by their ward if something went wrong on your watch. You had genuinely grown to like the man. He was weird, definitely, and dangerous, insane even. But he was also kind with a conviction that, though strange to many, was the equivalent of a moral compass for one with a softer heart than the stories would ever give him credit for.
Nassau was everything you expected it to be from what the crew had told you. It was filthy and messy, but it was free. The sand made a distinct scraping sound as the rowboat hit the shore and you and Ed got out.
“It’s about time ye meet the scoundrels that keep this place alive.” He smiled a nostalgic smile that betrayed how fond he was of the men he kept as company. You didn’t say anything, falling into step next to him as he made his way through the town. In your hand were the plans you had drawn that outlined the next big take. Too big for the crew of the Revenge to pull off alone and hence why you were joining Ed on the shores of Nassau.
Ed was a man of few words. He clearly appreciated actions over ineffectual blabbering and you respected that about him. For all the terrifying stories about him, he was far more honest and approachable than people assumed. Though you fully realised that he preferred it this way.
The sounds of drunken laughing and music became louder as you neared the tavern. The enterprise was built with a wooden deck that loomed above you from the street. A young man with blonde hair, scars on his face, and an arrogance that immediately put you off waved at Ed from over the railing.
“Back again, Thatch, be the waters you came from plundered bare?”
“Aye, and then some.”
The two of you made your way up the stairs where a couple of men from different parts of the tavern made their way over to you. One, a young man with dark hair, a red bandana, and an impressive scar over his right eye handed both you and Ed each a cup. You gratefully accepted it as you scanned the group. These were pirates, all right. Even in the finest dress the men in front of you would likely not be able to cover up their debauchery.
The man who had handed you your cup was looking at you, up and down, with a half-smile on his face.
“Who be this here then, Thatch?”
“This be me new ward. We call ‘em Eurus if there be need for a nickname among friends. Picked ‘em up aboard a merchant vessel we commandeered.”
Ed took a big swig of his drink as you swirled yours around, giving the young man a stare to match his own.
“Like the eastern wind then, it suits ye. Name’s James Kidd.”
“A pleasure..”
His smile was mischievous.
“Aye, it sure be.”
Your eye contact lingered a little longer. There was something about him that was different. He was young, very young, and didn’t seem to have the same air about him that the others did. The way he was looking at you made your heart involuntarily skip a beat and you renewed your grasp on the pieces of parchment in your hand.
The blonde man swung his arm around James, pulling him in closer.
“Captain Kidd here puts his father’s legacy to shame. Real devil out there.”
Kidd shrugged off his arm, with a smile though also a little uncomfortable with this remark in front of an enticing newcomer. He flashed you a brief look, to check if your demeanour had changed.
“Thanks for nothing, Kenway. Anyway, these here men be the finest arseholes ye’ll ever meet.”
You shook hands with them as they were introduced to you. Charles Vane was loud and gruff, a typical pirate with a knack for mischief. He was likeable but you didn’t peg him as a trustworthy man. John Rackham (or Calico Jack) was absolutely sauced, slurring his words and calling over his wife. Said wife, Anne Bonny, joined the group with more drinks. She was beautiful and kind, but with an untapped fierceness that made you immediately think she was too good for the man she called her husband. The blonde man that James had referred to as ‘Kenway’, who’s first name apparently was Edward, was very cocksure and didn’t even bother pretending that his goals extended beyond the glimmer of gold and jewels. A simple man with simple desires in life.
By far the cleanest of the bunch was a man that was introduced as Benjamin Hornigold. A pirate with a moral compass, it seemed. Someone who had grander ambitions than the sick stained beaches of Nassau, that much was certain. If not from the few words he spoke, then from the way he carried himself.
Ed sat down at a table, immediately pulling back a chair for you as well, which Rackham took, oblivious to the absolutely vile look Ed shot his way. Your captain made a gesture to violently remove the man from your chair but you held up your hand, and he stopped. Instead opting to just yell at the man, who gave him a disinterested wave, clearly used to Ed’s outbursts. You smiled and noticed how James pulled another chair back, gesturing for you to sit down next to him, which you did.
It annoyed you how this young pirate made your heart beat a little faster, ever so slightly, as you took your place next to him and you felt how he was eyeing you out of his peripheral. He wasn’t the only one though. This whole group was looking at you. Not outright, but as they all chatted and laughed you caught them occasionally sneaking glances at you. Trying to ascertain what kind of fish Thatch had caught himself here.
You were mostly quiet as the men exchanged stories, only speaking up when a question was directed at you. This was your preferred way of dealing with a new group of people, as it gave you a chance to gauge the apples in the basket.
When the laughing simmered down and the bottles of rum on the table were empty, Ed leaned in to the group, indicating that the time for scheming had now commenced. You took this as your cue to get up and leaned over the table as the men removed their cups, making space for your map and pieces of parchment.
As you were setting up, you felt all eyes on you. Behind you, James was looking you over again. He wasn’t sure if he trusted you. An excellent planner just happened to fall into Thatch’s lap? It sounded too good to be true. He did know that he liked you, though. Immediately. There was something enticing about the way you carried yourself, with a quiet confidence that didn’t seem to rattle easily. Someone who was comfortable speaking up against Blackbeard. Someone who had earned his trust. You were good. That much was certain. And you had peaked his interest.
When you finished putting everything out on the table you looked at Ed, who just gave you a nod indicating that you could outline the plan to this group. You smiled.
“What do you all see here?”
The group leaned in, looking over the maps, the markers, and the dotted lines.
“Those be tradin routes, no?” Kenway looked up at you.
“Not any tradin routes I’ve ever seen before though.” James added. He also leaned in closer, putting his hand softly on your back as he did. You hated how some people did this, with their grabby hands, putting them on you in passing as if that made the unsolicited contact any less creepy. Always too low on your back too. But this was different. The touch was soft and seemed to indicate more a warning that he was coming in close than anything else. The placement was also respectable and you found yourself not inclined to push him away or tell him off. Honestly, what he did wasn’t that much different than what others had done before. It was just different because it was him. But, you had to tell yourself it was somehow okay as you tried to ignore the shiver that simple touch sent up your spine.
“Where did ye get this information?”
Ed grinned his insane, satisfactory grin as he looked at James.
“Off a merchant ship, sailin just off the coast of Kingston, young master Kidd.” He nodded at you. “There was a coded ledger there that this one has been slavin over for a good few weeks now. It outlined a whole new route, that none know about yet. And, the convoy that’ll be sailin that way in one month’s time. 100.000 reales.”
There was a stunned silence at the table, eventually broken when Kenway whistled through his teeth.
“That be a king’s sum. How can you be sure the information is true?”
Ed nodded at you again and you looked at Kenway.
“We’ve found other ledgers on different vessels with partial information in them that confirms this plan. By all accounts, it seems legit. But we won’t know until we get there. Not for sure.”
“What’s the defences look like?” Kidd looked up at you, still bent over the maps and drawings. You could tell from his demeanour that he had his doubts about this plan, about the ledger, and most of all about you. You resisted the urge to swallow and instead just looked at him before listing the ships that were listed in the convoy.
“Jaysus Thatch, are you mad, man?”
Ed just grinned even wider.
“Ye know better than to ask me such a daft question, Kenway. Of course I’m bloody mad and if you lot are too chicken shite to join us then go and join the king’s bloody fuckin navy like the proper good soldiers ye be.”
“Ye can’t take this convoy by yerself, Thatch, ye know that.”
“Aye, Kidd, I do. Hence me and my second here outlinin these here plans to you rotten lot.”
The group fell silent again as everyone thought. It was a fool's errand and yet, the lure of that much gold was hard to resist. Kenway was the first to proclaim he was in. Given his penchant for all that shines, you weren’t surprised. Vane was next and Rackham joined him. Hornigold gave pause for a moment, sucking on his pipe as he thought it through. If everyone at the table joined it was doable and 100.000 split six ways was an extremely tempting haul. Bigger than one would ever get off a solo attack on a smaller convoy. Bigger risk too. But, at least this convoy sailed under a Spanish flag, not the king’s one. He made up his mind.
“Sod it, you old dog. I’m in.”
The men laughed as they piled over the map again. Tracing the lines with their dirt covered fingers and rough callouses and talking about the waypoints you had marked, as well as some opportune ambush locations.
James didn’t say anything, instead just eyeing your every move from his hovering position over the table, trying to get a read on you. Gods, this man was actually starting to make you nervous and it was beginning to tick you off.
He watched as you were growing a bit hesitant under his gaze. You were attractive, aye, and clearly smart. He had to wonder if Thatch had just been this lucky finding someone like you on a random ship he just happened to board. You carried yourself like you came from money, at least enough to have afforded you a proper education, what with your effortless understanding of maps and ledgers, but with a casual confidence that betrayed some richer experiences than all that. Not that he was complaining, quite the contrary. He found himself intrigued and hoping for a moment to invite you aboard his vessel. Showing you his pride and maybe finding an opportune moment to steal you away from Thatch. It was nothing personal against your captain, just that he figured he would much rather you call him captain than Thatch. That is, if you were actually trustworthy.
He took another swig of his drink, his eyes still fixed on you though releasing you when Kenway slapped his shoulder.
“Come on, man, what do you say, ey?”
James smiled as his eyes found yours again and you felt your cheeks heat up a bit.
“Aye, looks like fun.”
You shook your head and resumed your position over the map, your finger finding a cove that would hide the ships from view.
“Captain has taken the liberty of detailing your respective vessels and strengths to me so I have a proposed plan. This cove here gives plenty of cover for three ships to hide until the last moment so the Queen Anne’s Revenge will be there, with the Ranger and the Kingston, attacking the frigates as soon as they’re in range. The Jackdaw is fast, she can pull up from behind the convoy here. The Marianne can lay in wait here and pick off the brigs. Captain Kidd, you can bring your vessel this way and obstruct escape through this passage.”
The men nodded. Kenway took your hand, of which your finger was still pointed at a specific set of coordinates and gently moved your finger over the map until it was on a new location.
“What about here then?”
You looked at his hand, which was still on yours, and James leaned in to slap his wrist.
“Keep yer grubby hands to yerself, mate. Ye have a finger of yer own, use it.”
“Aye, I could, but their hands looked mighty soft. Let a simple man have his simple enjoyments, master Kidd.”
The men at the table laughed and Kenway flashed you a grin which was met with your deadpan glare before you turned your attention back to the map. Ed also gave him a stare which told him he was not to touch you again. The blonde, in response, threw his hands up in the air and laughed it off. You got the impression he had done it more to test you than to flirt and you weren’t sure what part of that pissed you off the most.
“To answer your question, captain Kenway, they recently set up a new storage facility on that island. It’s not in use yet but there will be too much traffic there to safely set up the ambush.”
More questions followed, which you answered when Ed remained silent, and discussion resumed as people thought of additional solutions and talked prep. The air was filled with possibility and, undoubtedly, some nerves given the large risks involved. Aside from Thatch, most of the men at the table seemed prudent about the amount of risk they were willing to take but a pay-out this big left little of their reservations.
You cleaned the papers off the table again as a new round of booze was ordered and drinking recommenced. The day crested into evening and while the group got properly pissed, you found yourself taking a moment away from the noise. Leaning on the railing and looking out at the glistening ocean under a full moon. If it hadn’t been for the loud tavern patrons behind you, you would’ve called this night peaceful, beautiful even.
A cup appeared in your peripheral and you looked up to find Kidd standing next to you, offering you a drink. You accepted and took a swig as he leaned onto the railing with his back to the ocean, facing the opposite way from you and looking at you from over his shoulder. There was something so inquisitive about the way he looked at you.
“How are ye likin Nassau?”
You let the edge of your cup rest on the railing and looked into it to see the moon reflected on the liquid's surface.
“It’s what was promised. A filthy hole in the ground, but a free one.”
“Aye, that description suits it well. Ye intendin on continuin to sail with Thatch?”
Eyeing him from the side you got the impression he was a very deliberate man, knowing what he stood for and what he wanted. In this case, that was you. Or at the very least, more information on you.
You turned around to fully face him and he copied the movement. He looked handsome like this, part of his face illuminated by the firelight of the tavern, the other part cool toned in the pale moonlight.
“I do, for now. Nothing else on the horizon for me at the moment and I am enjoying my time aboard the Revenge.”
It stood out to you how he looked at you when you spoke, gauging your answer and seeing if your body language matched the words coming from your lips.
He smiled as his eyes came to rest just there, on your lips, before looking back up at your eyes.
“He be a character, that’s for sure. But a good sort.”
You just nodded in agreement.
“What do ye say we leave these fine gents with their drink and I show ye ‘round Nassau a bit?”
You knew better than to follow a strange man into the night, in an unfamiliar town, away from the safety of your deranged guardian captain. And yet…
“Lead the way.”
He smiled a mischievous smile and in one smooth movement grabbed a bottle of rum from the table and extended his arm for you to take, which you did, before starting to lead you away from the noise of the tavern.
Behind you, Ed watched as James took off with you. He knew Kidd to be a good lad but still he couldn’t fully silence the protective part of him that wanted to keep you from mingling with these low life pirates. They were his friends, but that didn’t mean he trusted them with someone like you. In his mind, you were his charge. Like family. It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling, which he decided to drown out with another swig of rum. Of all the men here, Kidd would be the only one he’d trust to take you away at this hour. But he still didn’t like it.
Kenway noticed the duality on his face and followed his gaze.
“Oy, Kidd, you sly fox!”
Vane also joined in.
“Wouldn’t have guessed ye for such a sneak, Kidd!”
James just waved his hand in the air without looking back and without slowing down. Your face was flushed and you were thankful the streets of Nassau were dark at this hour. So embarrassing, you could still hear them howling and laughing, even now that you were well out of sight. James apparently noticed your apprehension since he gave you a playful shove with his shoulder to yours.
“Don’t mind ‘em, they’re animals, the lot of ‘em.”
“It’s alright… I’m just not that great with new people. Especially groups of them.”
“Ye seem to be doin just fine, love.”
You continued your walk in a comfortable silence and James guided you on a small excursion through town until, eventually, you found yourselves at the beach. The bottle of rum now empty. The sea air was fresh and pleasant and the usual azure blue of the ocean appeared ink black under the night’s sky. It was calling to you and you closed your eyes, listening to the song of the ocean, beckoning you to return to her unruly waves and unfathomable deeps.
You felt how James moved the arm you had yours laced through and you opened your eyes to look at him. He was smiling and had an appreciative look on his face as he watched you take in the night air. When you turned to look at him he gave a nod towards the ocean.
“Want to see me ship? We could go for a small trip, if enough of me crew are around.”
You nodded and his smile widened before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the dock. It was difficult, trying to ignore how his hand on yours put your stomach in a knot.
The ship in the harbour lay still in the minimal wind and James held your hand as he gently helped you aboard. He quietly asked his quartermaster if there were enough crew members around to sail her, as his eyes followed you around the deck. You let your hand brush the railing and the rigging. It was a sleek ship, fast too, the way she was built. Twenty cannons you had quickly confirmed from the dock, not a bad number for a vessel her size. The ship groaned as she floated, the wood setting against the pressure of the ocean whenever her angle changed. There was something so comforting about being aboard a ship. The smell of wood and gunpowder just put you at ease.
You heard the men behind you exchange some words and the sounds of the anchor being lifted cut through the otherwise silent air. At half-sail, the ship slowly started to make her way out to sea.
Looking back, you saw James at the helm, clearly in his element as he gently steered the ship in the desired direction. You leaned back on the railing as you watched him. He had a certain calm about him, which you guessed hid a lot of what was going on underneath the surface. You weren’t one for schoolkid fancies or a tendency to romanticise your life yet now, here, under the full moon, you couldn’t help but feel something come over you. Something you didn’t recognise in yourself, but that left you feeling not at all unpleasant.
As one of the deckhands passed you you stopped him and he gave you a curious look.
“Does your captain do this often? Sail out the ship for someone, just for the fun of it?”
The man looked a little dumbfounded and seemed genuinely taken aback by your question, though it was hard to say if that was because it was such a weird question or because he was just not particularly bright.
“Aye, he takes her out for a small trip sometimes but this be the first time he’s brought someone aboard to share it with, as far as I know.”
You smiled and let the man continue on his way as you resumed your inspection of the captain behind the wheel. Said captain was now gazing back at you and even in this darkness and at this distance, you could tell he flashed you a smile before gesturing at the ocean on your other side. You looked over as the ship came to a slow halt, in the middle of the ink black waters. The sky above you was clear and you could see so many stars, even more than you could back on the shores of Nassau.
The creaking of the planks next to you betrayed his presence before he spoke up.
“Ain’t it beautiful?”
You smiled.
“It is. You took me out here to show me the stars and the moon?”
“Aye.”
You felt him stare as he answered, trying to get a read on you again, and you looked up. The moon was big and bright, the stars forming a blanket of sparkling dust across the sky, and the ocean was so calm, it was almost a mirror, making it appear like the starry night crossed over at the horizon from sky into water, until the stars were scattered at the surface beneath you.
“It’s incredible. I don’t think I’ve seen the ocean this calm yet. It makes it feel…”
“Endless?”
“Yeah, endless.”
You tore your eyes away from the sky to look at him. He was still staring at you with a calm, soft expression on his face and you felt your heart skip a beat again.
There was a brief silence between you two until you flashed him a grin and stepped up on the railing, grabbing hold of the ratlines, nodding towards the crow’s nest.
“Let’s see what endlessness looks like from up there.”
His look was inquisitive and interested as he smiled up at you.
“Aye, let’s.”
Swiftly you made your way up the ratlines to the highest look-out platform where you lay down on your back, your legs dangling off the edge from your knees. The ropes creaked and strained as James followed suit, lying down next to you and looking over at your face, illuminated by the night’s sky. Jaysus, you would be the death of him, he was sure of it. He knew he didn’t fully trust you and yet, here you both were. A smile crept over his face as he also looked up at the sky.
“Do ye know the constellations by heart?”
“Some of them, do you?”
“Aye, want me to show ye?”
“Yes.”
The two of you just lay there, as James pointed at stars and constellations, sometimes taking your hand to guide your gaze to the ones he was talking about. Somehow, this was so easy, so comfortable. It wasn’t anything either of you had experienced before yet you both relished in it.
After a while, you sat back up, stretching. The wooden planks had left you feeling a bit stiff. Next to you, James also sat upright.
“Ye should join me more often, I enjoy havin ye around.”
You looked to your side. His smile was calm and honest and you felt your heart race a bit again but you managed to push down your nerves.
“I thought you were still on the fence about whether you trusted me or not. Trying to get a read on me, captain Kidd.”
“Aye, it’s true. I reckon ye have some secrets to keep… As do we all. And yet..”
His hand came up and he grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look him in the eye.
“And yet?”
He laughed a short laugh but the intensity in his gaze didn’t lessen.
“And yet, I found meself here nonetheless. Didn’t I?”
He slowly brought his face closer and your breath hitched in your throat as you could narrowly feel the warmth of his lips on yours.
“Will ye allow me a kiss?”
Your mind left you without words to answer so instead you just nodded.
He smiled before closing the final distance, his lips softly grazing yours. You let out a short breath and opened your mouth a little, letting your lips press against his. His tongue ran across your lips and you forgot to breathe again as he kissed you. He was gentle, even more so than you would’ve expected based on the way he carried himself. The kiss was soft, exploratory, and it set explosions and fireworks off in your brain like you had never experienced before.
As you kissed, James felt his mind go blank. He had been on the fence about doing this. He wanted to, more than anything, but there was always the danger of harsh truths in the stark light of day and secrets that may one day be spilled. How would you respond to him then? Surely not the way you were now. You were calm and beautiful and he dreaded to learn how you would treat him if you knew the truth about him. But in that kiss, he lost all that reason, all those worries. There was only you.
—
In the weeks leading up to the ambush, you found yourself having trouble focussing. Especially when Kidd was around. His sly little smiles and looks when you caught him alone were enough to drive you absolutely mad and you were simultaneously flustered and annoyed. How were you falling for a damn pirate you had just met? It wasn’t like you at all.
After the stargazing, and the kiss, James had dutifully brought you back to Nassau. There had been a lot of prodding and teasing when you returned to the others but both of you had been too absentminded to really care. Instead, James just fought them off, telling them to get their filthy minds out of the gutter and getting more drinks. You had felt how your own captain had looked at you and you had dreaded meeting his gaze but once you did, he just gave you a smile. Clearly he had just wanted to make sure you were okay with whatever had transpired. And you were. God knew, you were.
That had been almost a month ago and at night you found yourself restless in your hammock, thinking about Kidd. His soft kisses and intense eyes kept you up for hours on end, during which time you gave up and retreated to the captain’s cabin to work on the ambush plans.
When the day finally came you were tired but satisfied that the utmost had been done to ensure success. The whole day you had a knot in your stomach, hoping that nothing would go wrong.
As the first ships came into view of the Queen Anne’s Revenge, it became clear that the convoy was even bigger than anticipated, however you had calculated some leeway into the plan and it shouldn’t prove that much of a problem.
Cannonballs flew through the blue sky as your ships laid siege to theirs and before you knew it, you were all back in Nassau, drunk off your victory and a considerable amount of booze.
You finished counting the final pieces and took another swig of your drink before closing the chest and marking the number down on paper. Between the ships, crew, firepower, ammunition, other valuables, and, of course, gold, you had now finally calculated everyone’s cut and gave a nod to a few members of the Revenge to carry the cases to their respective new homes aboard the different vessels. You leaned back in your chair and watched with a smile how the men were cheering and recounting the day with slurred words and a lot of facts that never happened. The drink swirled around in your cup as you moved it, looking over their elated faces and wild gestures, until you found a pair of eyes looking back at you.
Captain Kidd was seated at the other side of the group, slouched in a chair, drink in hand, and keeping a steady gaze on you through the chaos of arms and bottles that partially obstructed his view. He just smiled and raised his cup at you, and you reciprocated. Today had been a resounding success and you could hear Kenway boast about finally being able to afford the final touches on the Jackdaw to make her an absolute beast upon the waves. Vane slapped your back and made a joke about the unexpected additional ships in the convoy, claiming he had finally found a flaw to hold against you in your meticulous work, to which you offered a clever rebuttal that had the group howling. You felt more at ease with these men, after having spent weeks with them planning for today. They were rough around the edges but they were decent men. Not all of them trustworthy, after all they were still pirates with their own agendas, but enough for them to be pleasant company. You laughed with them as more bottles were opened and joined Hornigold and Thatch for an argument about the King’s pardon.
Your eyes kept drifting back to Kidd as you watched him engage in his own conversations and discussions, laughing and celebrating, finding his gaze drifting your way as often as you sneaked a look at him. Perhaps more often, for even when you were otherwise engaged, laughing, or doing your best to tell a taller tale about the events of the day than Rackham did, and failing miserably, Kidd caught himself staring. At the way your mouth curved, just before you laughed, the way you furrowed your brow when Rackham said… literally anything. At the way you blinked when someone was testing your patience with a racy comment.
When the group was properly sauced and some of the men went off to find more pleasant company with their newly acquired coin, James caught your eye again and as you looked at him he gave you a nod to the side. You downed your drink and got up, telling Thatch that you would see him around the Revenge later and slapping Kenway on his shoulder as he was close to passed out on a nearby table.
Kidd also casually got up and followed you out the tavern, to the streets below, falling into step besides you. If the others hadn’t been so absolutely out of it, it would have been a poor attempt at not being obvious but as things were now, none of them realised the two of you had left together again. It wasn’t like you were trying to keep a secret, persé, more that you would never hear the end of it if they did catch on and since you weren’t even sure what “this” was supposed to be, you really didn’t need the pain.
The two of you walked in silence for a bit, until you were back on James’ ship. It was empty and softly bobbed around on the water as the crew had dispersed to celebrate as well with whatever vices called to them.
You turned around to face him.
“Well then, captain, I think congratulations are in ord-”
You were promptly cut off when his lips captured yours and you felt the surprise quickly leave you as you closed your eyes, draping your arms around his neck and reciprocating the kiss. He was still careful, and considerate, but definitely more forceful than the first time you had kissed and you felt him softly push you backwards until your back was met with the main mast. Panting you pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss, as his hands moved down your sides and came to rest at your hips before one continued it’s journey down the side of your leg, hooking his fingers behind your knee and pulling up your leg so he could step in even closer still, holding you vast against him as he kissed you.
When you finally broke apart, your noses still touching, you were both a little out of breath and he smiled at you.
“I apologise.”
“For what?”
“I should’ve asked ye if ye wanted to, but I couldn’t help meself. I couldn’t wait any longer, I’ve been wantin to do this ever since ye left me vessel last time.”
You found yourself at a loss for words, as you caught your breath, and instead just smiled at him. He took the moment to briefly capture your lips again, seemingly not having had nearly enough of you. Gods, how he wanted you for himself. He would give you anything, anything at all, as long as you would be his. He realised, as soon as the thought came to him, how dangerous it was, but he didn’t care. He never thought he would get a chance to experience something like this and he finally knew what he wanted in life. The problem was, that meant that what had to come next was all the more difficult.
The change in expression didn’t escape your attention and you put your hand on his cheek. His hand covered yours and he gave you a careful smile.
“What’s wrong, Kidd?”
He sighed.
“I think we need to talk.”
Oh no, this was what you had been dreading. Of course, all of this was too good to be true. What was it? Was he secretly married? Had he just been playing games? What?
His hands reluctantly let go of you as he turned around and took a few paces away from you. He looked a bit frustrated and briskly turned around to face you again, apparently deciding that faster was probably better. The sooner you rejected him, the sooner he could go back to being a free soul without a penchant for dumb things like pining for love in a life of piracy.
“I like ye…” He started, hesitantly. “A lot, actually…”
He sighed, pinching his nose bridge.
“Me name isn’t James Kidd… that’s the name I took to get into this life, this world. Me father wasn’t Kidd.”
Oh great, was he a crook? A wanted man? Wait, he was all those things right now, as a pirate. Then what?
He looked up at you and bit his lower lip before finally adding:
“I was born Mary Read, to me mum…”
He waited. For you to get angry or confused. For that catholic guilt, that half those around these parts were crippled with, to set in. He expected all of that. Anything but what happened next.
“Thank you, for trusting me with that. So, what name do you prefer?”
“What?”
“What name do you prefer? Are you James or Mary?”
“Are you understandin what I just told ye? I was registered as a healthy baby girl. A woman.”
“I heard you and I’m asking you, are you a woman who would be called Mary if it wasn’t for the difficulties that came with sailing under a woman’s name. Or are you a man called James who just happened to be called Mary before? Or is there an answer somewhere in between?”
He was dumbfounded and his bewildered expression forced a laugh out of you.
“Really, captain, half these seas are littered with folks who had to escape king and church for who they were, who they loved, or both. If we can’t be our true selves out here, in our free state, then where?”
He swallowed as he listened to your calm, well-thought out explanation. This was it. He was in love with you. Deeply. As fast as he had been falling for you before, it now had become a straight cliff down. There was no escape, no turning back.
“I ..eh.. It depends, I reckon. Some days more Mary, others more James. But…” and his eyes found yours. “I like the way ye said me name up till now. It sounds… better comin from ye, somehow.”
“How so… captain Kidd?”
His grin was back and he shook his head.
“Oh no, now ye be playin a dangerous game.”
You smiled at him and he felt his heart skip a beat.
“Jaysus.” With that it didn’t take him a second to close the distance between you as his hands came to rest on your sides and you were breathing the same air again, you felt the wooden mast pressed firmly against your back. James put his forehead to yours and closed his eyes.
“I don’t know what kind of spell ye have put on me, but I reckon I’m past carin. I just want ye, by me side.”
You leaned in and briefly ran your tongue over his lips before smiling.
“And what if I want a brig of my own?”
“Then I’ll capture a vessel for ye, whatever ye want.”
“Hmm I like the sound of that..”
“Of bein cap’n?”
“Of you raiding a ship just for me.”
You looked into his eyes and noted the boy-ish sparkle of mischief as he grinned at you, before he leaned in closer, grazing your lips with his.
“Aye, cap’n, whatever ye want.”