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Jason sat on Dick’s bed, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and the nervousness of being alone with Dick was becoming overwhelming. He glanced down at his phone, hoping there was a distress message from Roy or Kori but there wasn’t. Sighing, he put away his phone.
Dick was in the bathroom, also slightly panicking. This wasn’t the first time he had invited Jason over, usually they have a few drinks and play a few video games and of course, make out. Then, in the morning Jason would be gone and Dick would feel a little sad. Dick glanced down at his phone, hoping for a distress call from Tim or someone but there was nothing.
It didn’t matter how many times they spent the night with each other, they were always a nervous wreck in the beginning. Things were still a little new. Dick grabbed a few condoms and a small bottle of lube and slid it into his pockets, thinking that, maybe they should try something new. Not to mention he was a little curious as to how Jason would respond.
Jason was browsing through the books on Dick’s shelf when he walked in.
“Hey, do you want to try, um,” Dick pulled out a condom, “Sex?”
“Do I want to try sex?” Jason repeated.
“Yeah.”
“I’ve had plenty of sex before, with tons of people.” Jason lied, “I don’t need to try something I know I like, and I’d like it better because it would be with you.” That last part wasn’t a lie, though.
Dick squinted his eyes, “You’ve had sex with tons of people?”
“Yes, so many so so many.” Jason exaggerated, and then added, “Once with a goat.”
“You’re lying.”
“No I’m not.” Jason denied, “Especially not with the turtle.”
“Turtle?” Dick questioned, “You said goat before.”
Dick made Jason really nervous, which impeded his thought process sometimes, “I meant goat, I don’t know why I said turtle.” Jason glanced away for a moment, then looked back at Dick, “So yeah, I’m pretty good at fucking. Won an award.”
“For sex?”
“For fucking a turtle -- goat-- something.” Jason took in a breath trying to calm himself down, “I’m just really good, okay.”
“Really?” Dick lurched forward and grabbed the front of Jason’s pants, he could feel his boyfriend’s penis. He whispered, in a low tone, “Show me.”
Jason turned bright red, and looked away.
Dick laughed and stepped back, “You’re such a liar.”
“S-shut up.”
“It’s alright, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Dick pulled Jason by the hand and led him to the bed, “We don’t have to do anything if you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Jason said, “We could try, though.”
“Alright, but try to relax a little.” Dick leaned in and kissed Jason on the jaw.
However, as their attempt at sex continued, they ran into some trouble. Every time Dick tried to put his hands up Jason’s shirt, Jason would yank his shirt back down and try to get Dick to move his arms somewhere else. Not to mention Jason was trembling a little.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Jason.”
“What?”
“Why do you keep pulling down your shirt?”
Jason was quiet for a moment, he moved from under Dick and sat up, “Um, I just -- I’m not um…”
“I’ve seen you without a shirt before, what’s wrong?”
“Not in this context, I’m just -- scars.”
“You don’t like your scars?”
“I - I don’t want you to see them.”
“Why?”
Jason turned away from Dick, and quietly said, “Because you make me feel weird.”
Dick touched Jason’s hand, but Jason grunted and pulled his hand away, “Is it a bad or good weird?”
“Good, and I’m just a little self conscious.” he admitted.
As Dick thought of a way to approach the situation, he couldn’t help but smile. There was something nice about being the only one who gets to see this side of Jason. The nervous, self-conscious side, not the dangerous side that everyone was used to seeing.
Jason peeked over his shoulder, noticing Dick’s smile, “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
Jason groaned and covered his face with his hands.
Dick let off a soft laugh, and rubbed Jason’s shoulders, “Hey, you were looking at my books earlier, which one is your favorite?”
“Austen,”
“Go get and it read it to me.” Dick requested, then remembering it was Austen he added, “Read me your favorite chapters.”
“Okay.”
They grabbed some blankets and pillows, and Dick sat with his head resting on Jason’s shoulder. Dick wasn’t a fan of Austen and the flowery language, but he did enjoy hearing Jason read every word. He noticed how Jason’s whole demeanor began to calm down slowly. As he continued reading, his breaths began to even out and his hands became more firm. Jason smiled whenever they got to one of his favorite lines, and he’d extrapolate what he thought they symbolized. Every so often he’d stop and give Dick a few little kisses, and at one point he even said, “Thanks for talking about this stuff with me.”
Jason still wasn’t completely comfortable with Dick, but maybe finding ways to get him to relax -- over time, he’ll eventually bring his guard down. It might take time, but eventually the nervousness will fade, and Jason will realize that Dick doesn’t want to hurt him. The next morning, Dick was surprised to see Jason was still in bed with him. He kissed Jason on the cheek, and went to the kitchen to go make breakfast.