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The Force stirred slightly, nudging at his consciousness, and Obi-Wan felt a tug on the sleeve of his sleep-tunic. He scrubbed a hand across his eyes and sat up. His quarters were immersed in darkness, but he could sense Anakin’s presence beside him. Although the bond he shared with his Padawan had not had time to grow particularly strong, he thought he detected a tremor of anxiety from the boy.
“Master?” Anakin tugged at his sleeve again.
“Hmmm?” Obi-Wan held back a yawn. One of these weeks, he would get a full night’s sleep. “What is it, Anakin?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“Why? What’s the matter?”
“I had a bad dream.”
Obi-Wan suppressed a grumble of tired annoyance, substituting a slow blink and grimace that would be invisible in the dark. Regardless of the trivial reasons that drove his Padawan to disturb him in the middle of the night, he must remain the example of patience and maturity. Besides, he could hear genuine distress in the boy’s voice, and felt a pang of guilt for his fleeting moment frustration. “Do you wish to talk about it?” Obi-Wan pushed back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed so that he was facing Anakin.
“I’m not sure. It might scare you too.”
“I will be alright,” Obi-Wan assured him. “What did you dream?”
“Well, I guess, you and me and Kitster were trying to enter a Eopie into a podrace,” Anakin said. He took a breath to steady himself. “But it got loose and ran down the track and I tried to catch it but it got away. So you told me to go find Master Yoda but before I could it got into Jabba’s house and almost ran over Jabba, and…” Anakin swallowed, “Jabba said I…I couldn’t be a Jedi anymore and he…” Anakin broke off with a sniff, and Obi-Wan realized his Padawan was holding back tears. “I can’t say the next part,” Anakin mumbled. “It’d make you upset.”
“I will not be upset with you, Padawan. I promise.” Obi-Wan wondered what Anakin was hesitant to say. Could it have something to do with Qui-Gon? Obi-Wan’s grief for his former master was still raw, but if memories of the slain Jedi were troubling Anakin, it would be Obi-Wan’s responsibility to help the boy cope.
“Jabba was so mad about the Eopie and I didn’t know what to do,” Anakin confessed. “He said he was going to make sure I never became a Jedi, and he made me… he…me and Kitster…we had to feed you to a rancor so you wouldn’t train me.”
Obi-Wan made a concerted effort not to laugh. The statement had caught him by surprise. Anakin’s distress was tangible, and he knew he must respect the boy’s emotions, but he had never had to comfort someone for feeding him to a rancor before.
Obi-Wan was not entirely sure how to handle the situation. By the time he had been apprenticed to Qui-Gon, he had been old enough to deal with nightmares on his own. His memory of his childhood dreams had faded, although he recalled several that had troubled him greatly. Anakin was no doubt feeling guilty for this imagined death of his master. He would need reassurance.
“I’m sorry,” Anakin apologized, interpreting Obi-Wan’s contemplative silence as an ill omen. “I don’t think I’d ever really do it.” His voice trembled. “Are you mad at me?”
“Of course I am not mad.” Obi-Wan smiled in the darkness. “You have done nothing wrong, Anakin. It was only a nightmare. Now that you’ve seen I am perfectly alive and well, do you think you can go back to sleep?”
Anakin’s silhouette shook its head. “What if I dream the same thing again?”
“Then when you wake up, you must remind yourself that it was only a dream.”
Anakin remained silent. Obi-Wan knew the boy was hesitating, caught between his wish to obey and his fear of the dreams that awaited him.
“Perhaps you should try meditating,” Obi-Wan offered. “Clear your mind. Let your thoughts and memories go. Focus only on the Force. It will help you to relax." Besides, Obi-Wan thought, you have a natural talent for falling asleep partway through meditation sessions, my young Padawan.
“Every time I close my eyes I see the rancor,” Anakin murmured. “I didn’t want to--I’d never actually do it, master.”
“I have no fears about you feeding me to a rancor, young Padawan.” Obi-Wan stretched his arms and then slipped out of bed, the floor cold against his bare feet. “Come. I will walk you back to your quarters, and then we can meditate together, so that you will know I am safe.” Obi-Wan led the way to the Padawan dormitories. Anakin followed him like a shadow.
Back in his own bed, Anakin snuggled under the covers, and Obi-Wan knelt beside the mattress. “Now,” Obi-Wan instructed, keeping his voice soft, “you must focus on the Force. Clear your mind. Let the Force guide you.” Anakin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He squeezed them tightly shut. Obi-Wan reached out and took the boy’s small hand in his own, guiding him into a deeper meditation. There was an ache in his mind where Qui-Gon used to be; meditation felt darker without his own Master’s familiar warmth beside him. Obi-Wan pushed away the emptiness and focused on channeling the Force. There is no emotion, there is peace…There is no death, there is the Force.
When Obi-Wan withdrew from his meditative trance some time later, he found Anakin fast asleep, the boy’s hand gone lax in Obi-Wan’s palm. Exhaustion weighed heavily on Obi-Wan, reminding him of the late hour. As quietly as he could, he straightened up, proceeding with soft steps across the room. He returned to his own quarters, and, with a tired sigh, climbed into bed. He let his head sink into the pillow. Subconsciously, his left hand crept up to his right shoulder, fingers closing around air. The emptiness disturbed him. He should have grown used to it now, but every night, he discovered it anew. He had not even realized he slept with his Padawan braid twined between his fingers until it was no longer there to hold.
Obi-Wan rolled over onto his side, laying his hand beneath his head and closing his eyes. His throat felt tight. For a moment, he allowed himself to wonder whether he was really capable of performing the task laid out for him; training Anakin, without Qui-Gon…
He cut himself off mid-thought. Now was not the time for such contemplations. He must not allow his emotions to govern him. He reached out into the Force, searching for something. Peace, perhaps. The Force answered. It seemed to wrap about him like a blanket, singing softly in its blessed tones. For an instant, Obi-Wan thought he felt a brush of his Master’s presence, just before he drifted off into a quiet, peaceful slumber.
