Chapter Text
Despite what people may believe, katsuki bakugou was not a monster, he was rude sure, barely made an effort to care about things that did not benefit him and he couldn’t care less about anything other than going to UA and being the number one hero, but a monster he was not.
He never meant for things to go this far when it came to Deku and his stupid dream, the idea of a quirkless hero was laughable, a joke amongst anyone who heard him preach about it. A hero without a quirk would die within 5 minutes in a training battle, even sooner in a real villain fight, he would be lucky to last 30 seconds. The idiot was a walking twig scared of his own shadow…
Katsuki didn’t mean for shit to happen like this, it was a moment of a power trip gone horribly wrong, sure he bullied the nerd, but that’s all it was, just a little taste of what he would face going up against confrontation, yet deku never grew a damn backbone along with a quirk. Would always hunch in like a scared turtle like it would do anything but make him look small and pathetic.
He really did not mean for it to go that far that day, it’s just that deku really thought he was going to get into UA along with him, like they were in the same talent category, who would stand for that? He had to be making a joke of him, mocking Katsuki, just like they were brats again.
No, he didn’t stand for it, one too many times had Deku pushed his buttons, so of course he would blow up on the fucking idiot, it’s always the same shit, but this time… he took it too far.
In his defence, Katsuki hadn’t meant for the words to be so cruel, but his pride and ego had blinded him of the damage he had done, but how was he supposed to know? After all, his actions never had any negative consequences before, so why would this time be different? Nobody ever saw a flaw in katsuki until then, he was perfect, and perfection doesn't need to be corrected... but maybe he should of listened to the small feeling in the pit of his stomach, that he should of turned back and made sure the idiot was okay, not that he cared he just didnt want to hear the end of how he made deku cry over a damn book and some words, thats all.
Deku…no, Izuku jumped that day, alone with no one to comfort him, to talk him down from edge with words of reassurance that things were going to be okay, to tell him that he could be a hero if he just tried harder, trained and pushed himself to higher limits that people with quirks wouldn’t think to reach.
Instead Izuku only had himself and a burnt reminder of how his life was one big joke to everyone.
Deku may have pushed his buttons…but it was Katsuki who pushed him off the ledge.
-
The day that news came about the suicide of Izuku Midoriya, All eyes were on Katsuki Bakugou in the small classroom who had been ignorant to the disappearance of the quirkless boy until now.
It wasn’t like katsuki didn’t have eyes on him before, but never had he felt such accusing Scrutiny, like Bakugou had Single handedly murdered the nerd. He wasn’t a monster… he never meant those words, it was just the heat of the moment, a chance to put the idiot in his place…he never meant too…he didn’t want him to actually kill himself!! He’s not…
He wasn’t a monster…was he?
The moment the reality hit of the words he had said to Izuku that day made his usually warm body run cold, fuck it really was his fault! He had killed him and now for the first time, he wasn’t perfect, he was flawed and everyone could see it, laid open for the vultures to pick him apart.
The class were quick to do it too…
Words of outrage and fake grief from the other students made the coldness in Katsuki reheat to boiling point, how dare they act like they cared for Izuku, like they didn’t spend the same amount of time tormenting the boy by just as cruel words and bullying tactics, sure the explosive teen might of been his main tormentor but he was not the only one!
Fucking Hypocrites, quick to throw him to the wolves once they realised how serious shit had gotten.
But they were right in the end weren’t they? After all they were just following his lead, Bakugous word was law in this school, it had been that ways since preschool, always the top dog, a hero in the making.
But now, katsuki didn’t feel like hero material, how could he when he pushed someone to… fuck he was a monster, a true piece of shit villain, Izuku was dead and would no longer be mumbling to himself loud enough to annoy his peers. No more would he be around to watch the hero’s work while writing in those stupid Journals about who knows what.
He wouldn’t be there to see his mom again…fuck Auntie Inko must be destroyed, she loved Izuku more than anything, oh gods what must she think of him, she probably hates every fibre of his guts, not that he could blame her...
Katsuki doesn’t remember leaving the classroom that day or how he ended up in the principals office. The balding man was pale, an uncomfortable smile that did nothing to reassure the darkness clawing at the edges of his vision, he doesn’t even recall when the man had started talking until the static in his brain simmered down to make out the end of the conversation.
“…everything is going to be fine young Bakugou, we have taken great care to insure your future acceptance to UA won’t be affected”
…What?…” Katsuki felt his jaw unlocking from the clenched position it had been in, his mouth had long gone dry, the words coming out scratched and bitter.
Looking up to make eye contact with the man before him in disbelief. “…I…your just going to…what about Izuku?”
Katsuki had hoped he missed something while he had been dissociated, that maybe he had it wrong.
The principal had a glint in his eyes that made any hope flickering inside katsuki wither away.
“Young midoriyas death was a tragic accident, but no more than that… we will make sure you had no part in it, we can’t have our future hero being tangled up in something like this”
Katsuki remembers two things from then on, the taste of bile in his mouth and the smell of smoke from his palms making contact with older skin. How could they..How could they just brush this shit under the rug!, like Izukus death was nothing but a mild inconvenience, like Katsuki didnt just kill someone out of petty bullying. No all they cared about was making sure Aldera Junior High had a Top Hero to sing their praises when hes older, the sick fucking basterds.
When he does come back to reality again, it’s to his dads car radio and the sound of wheels turning into their driveway.
He really didn’t want to face his mother, who no doubt had heard the news from Auntie.
He spares his dad a look who as also remained in the car, he could see the dried tears on his cheeks along with tightly sealed lips, but to Katsuki they may as well be screaming.
Not wanting to witness anymore, he slowly gets out the car and begins to walk to the front door, although he hesitates grabbing the handle, the dryness returning to his throat.
It’s quiet when he eventually enters, expecting his mother descend upon him with anger and disgust.
“She’s at Inkos…” his dad voices out, barely a whisper but enough to startle katsuki into removing himself from the doorway, barely managing to remove his shoes to get inside.
Once he does he just stands there not really knowing what to do, feeling lost in his own home is not something he’s ever known before. His dad had given him a look he didn’t quiet know how to handle too.
“Go...go to your room and lay down, you’ve had a long day and….it’s best to wait till your mother gets back.”
Watching his dad retreat to the couch to sit and rub his face was the last thing he could stomach before taking the old man’s advice.