Work Text:
"Quick question for yall."
"Did any of you write your Christmas wish lists?" Jinx asked out of nowhere, not really surprising anyone with this (a little) dumb, childish question.
Come on, they were playing gartic phone in the living room. I mean. Even Silco was playing, which was real nice. Kinda weird for everyone who was not Jinx, but oh well.
Que the mandatory explanation of where everyone was sitting in the room because you as a reader need to imagine the scenery, ok?
On the armchair were Caitlyn laying waaaay too comfortably in Vi's lap, Ekko was laying flat on the floor, surrounded by pillows, Silco was sitting gentlemanly, elegantly, stylishly, gracefully, sophisticated, refined, dignified, fashionably, charmingly on the couch like the man half of the fandom simps for. Jinx was weirdly sitting on the same couch as her dad, but with her head upside down, feet up on the wall behind the couch.
Everyone took a brief pause, looking at each other weirdly.
Its common sense Jinx acts like a fucking child high on microwaved meth
But the idea that she still thought santa was real never really came to anyone.
It was believable tho 👌
So, our brave boy Ekko was the first to break that short silent moment.
"Sure did." He was lying. He was probably gonna write one soon though. He knew santa wasn't actually real but it was fun 😃
"Can I see it?" Jinx asked.
'well shit' one of Ekko's braincells spoke.
"Uhh... No can do, I actually put it near the window some days ago and it dissapeared." Okay Ekko was not gonna write the letter now, as it supposedly dissapeared.
"That's so cool :0" Jinx exclaimed, smiling widely at him.
"Hey cupcake." Vi started randomly.
'EWWWWWWW HOMOSEXUALITY EWWWWWWWWWWWWW' Jinx screamed in her head. Even halluciMylo gagged at the cringy nickname.
But Jinx was resisting the urge to just scream 'ew' for 10 hours straight, no water, no skittles (stfu guys rito confirmed she is so skinny bc she only eats skittles 🙄✋)
"Yea, my dear lovely Vi?" Responded Caitlyn. It literally looked like Caitlyn and Vi were plotting against Jinx and her 𝓗𝓸𝓶𝓸𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓬 𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓼.
HalluciMylo was having a hard time breathing, gasping for air, clutching at his chest. Not even Mylo deserved to hear this.
But Jinx could feel her last fruit flavoured skittles coming back up.
She was having a hard time but she was still going strong.
'NO, YOU PROMISED SOMETHING TO YOUR SISTER, RESPECT YOUR PROMISE YOU USELESS SON OF A CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!' she repeated to herself.
"Did you write your Christmas wish list, cupcake?" Vi asked, interrupting Jinx's thoughts.
'It would've been FINE without CuPcAKE!!!' One of the three braincells Jinx had screamed inside of her head.
"No, Vi. Do you want to know why?" Caitlyn asked, her british accent only becoming more annoying to Jinx.
"Why?" Vi asked curiously.
"Because All I Want For Christmas Is Youuuuuuuuuu~" Caitlyn could sing surprisingly well actually. BUT IT WAS USELESS IF THE SONG PHYSICALLY TRAUMATISED EVERYONE AT SOME POINT.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOO" Jinx and Ekko screamed both at the same time. Jinx was sick of this ship sailing in the same room as her and Ekko had flashbacks from when he was working at Walmart when he was in highschool. God, that song just stays on repeat all November and December, doesn't it?
Poor cashiers.
Poor Ekko.
Justice for Ekko.
He does not deserve this.
"Jinx, scream a little quieter, you're gonna hurt your throat." Silco warned her like a great father would.
"Okei dad" she respectfully said.
"But anyway, I have to agree. That Christmas song is a nuisance." Silco unexpectedly stated.
"Your dad's very cultured." Ekko chuckled, turning his gaze at Jinx.
"Yeees I kno" she playfully shook her head left and right. "Remember that one time we were playing smash bros in my room and he came in and asked 'Are you winning, my children?'" Jinx imitated Silco's low, masculine voice as well as she could, but what came out could be easily replaced by a male, sick and quacking duck, choking on cold leftover popcorn.
Jinx's impressions never failed to make everyone laugh, or at least snicker - if the 'everyone' in question was a tough audience, Caitlyn cough cough. -
But anywaaaaaaays-
"But, Vi." Silco started again.
"Did you write your Christmas wish list yet?" He continued.
"That's a weird question coming from you, mr. Jinx's adoptive father." She responded, but it was unsure whether or not she was being respectful or not.
"Just answer the damn question, Vi!!" Jinx exclaimed, looking at her with neon pink eyes so wide open it scared Vi.
"Uhh yes. Yes I did." She said, not wanting to let down her sister.
"Uuuu nicey" Jinx cutely mumbled.
"Speaking about that, we should probably look for the Christmas lights in the basement." Caitlyn recommended, literally showing proof she was the only one in the room with a still fully functional brain which operates with more than 3 braincells.
(Oh wait no wait silco was in the room oh shit did i just insult him oh never fucking mind no one will know)
Vi smiled, adoring how gentle, but elegant Caitlyn's voice was. "Great idea, cupcake" she complimented wholeheartedly, planting a light and tender smooch on her lover's cheek.
.... Aaaaand this paragraph was all it took to get Jinx to go to the arts and crafts store, buy 5 meters of the thickest yarn, take it home, climb on the roof, tie a noose, put it around her neck and go skydiving.
But as one of the protagonists, Jinx has a strict list of what she can do and what she cannot do. She cannot go skydiving with a noose around her neck.
So instead, she did the most beautiful, action filled and surreal tumble - instead of just getting up from the couch, that would've been easier - and sprinted down to the basement.
To get the Christmas light? No 👈👎
To get rid of CaitVi? Yes 👈👍
The basement sure looked fine today, what a fine room to spend an entire day in.
Two gentle hands touched her pale shoulders from behind. "Stop being homophobic." Ekko's voice echoed in the basement (as in his name is ekko? U know? Did you get it? )
Jinx sighed, crossing her hands, amused. "I'm not homophobic, I'm just a little Caitlynphobic."
"Fr fr fr just a little" he repeated.
"Yeaaaa just a little... The littlest bit of little, tiny hate." She accentuates the idea.
Ekko takes his hands off her narrow and lightly freckled shoulders and goes in front of her just to throw her that dumb smirk of his.
"Well that bit of little, ting hate must be very fucking big cuz I saw your Private Anti-Caitlyn Book."
Her eyes widened, dramatically screaming "YOU BITCH >:(((((" , amusing Ekko (something about this creature cursing was extremely funny)
"The book was nearly as thick as my-" at which Jinx immediately put her index finger on Ekko's mouth to quiet him down "keep this shit pg13 or else I'll burn every mistletoe in this house." She whispered creepily in his ear, enunciating every syllable.
**few seconds of intense stare from Jinx to Ekko**
"-old highschool math book. As thick as my old highschool math book, Jinx." He completed.
Then, for the pettiness factor, he whispered in her ear "Stop being dirty minded."
And then they stare at each other, Ekko trying to convince Jinx to give up the horni with his intense, lovable gaze, she has no way of winning.
Jinx suddenly broke, first second looking serious and almost unconvincible, next second completely the opposite. "Alright, alright, stop smirking :>" she snickered, pushing Ekko away (as a joke, in a friendly manner dw dw)
Which ended in him comically falling on the floor and hitting his head with the washing machine that apparently exists in every basement in existence.
The sound Ekko's head made hitting the metallic machine was actually unexpectedly jarring, "Oh my jesus dude are you okay?" Jinx asked (while also being an atheist), fastly bending down on her knees, extending a hand to help her boyfriend get back up - that is, if he can can get up. If not, she'll carry him bridal style -
But Ekko stays unfazed, unmoving.
"Oh shit I think I murdered a person" she whispered to herself, panic boiling hotter and hotter just like my tea in my kitchen every time i have a sore throat. Which is a lot. I can make screaming fun i promise
Also yes Jinx said that while being a well known murderer who once murdered half a dozen enforcers just because why not?
"Ekko wake up!" She half yelled as she just *slightly* slapped him.
If he doesn't wake up after a slap, be terrified.
Jinx is terrified.
"Bitch, if you think a washing machine's corner can take me out, you're seriously underestimating me." Ekko opened his eyes all too suddenly, sudden enough to scare a person such as Jinx.
"Fu-Quack- g dipsh-quack!" The comedical censorship striked just as Jinx slapped Ekko. That's what naughty boys get for pretending they're dead, after all.
"LANGUAGE, FUCKER"
"NO U"
"Jokes on you I have an Uno reverse card up my sleeve" Ekko said as he pulled out a green uno reverse card from his sleeve.
Jinx stared at it in shook and borderline terror. She stared at what lied in front of her. The fact that she was defeated by the person she loved the most. The emotional betrayal and pain wasn't something Jinx was ready for. She'll never forget.
Ekko was starting to accept the fact he won, his lips curving in a smirk.
That's when Jinx decided to pull out her own card; her face distorting to a version of Ekko's smug grin, but you could feel she was flexing one of those 'oooh I'm boutta fuck his whole career' faces.
As Ekko slowly was being hit by the undeniable force of realisation, Jinx reached her inexistent cleavage, pulling out a second Uno Reverse card, gay edition.
(She kept it there just in case she found Vi and Caitlyn doing the Magic Bed Dance)
"NOT THE EPIC GAY UNO REVERSE CARD!!!" Ekko screams in anguish as he is defeated tragically.
Seeing his dramatic act Jinx just couldn't help but chuckle. "You'd make a great actor, you goofball." She compliments as she put the card back to where it came from.
"Ya think so?" He asked, eyes lighting up, when Jinx nodded, smiling cutely.
Which made him smile as well, it was just so sweet how they could randomly have a wholesome moment even when they would compete over who has more uno reverse cards hidden on their body. No cap fr fr jinx would go as far as tattoo an uno reverse card on her chest or something. Maybe.
But anyway, Jinx suddenly reminded why they were actually in a basement.
"It's really cool and all, and you totally could be an anime antag a whole fandom simps on," she fastly spoke for the comedic effect she loves the fans to imagine, ", but sadly we were here for those lights."
"Yeah, tru tru" He approves, getting up.
They got to searching the Christmas lights. The same lights they put up on the windows and on the house for the last 10 years. They got their own special box because y'know, special stuff deserves special boxes.
The box should be somewhere where the Christmas tree decorations, and the Christmas tree itself was laying somewhere here, waiting for its moment to shine, every year in the same exact day. Being decorated and appreciated as the most special thing in the room, extending its glorious branches full of shiny globes and flashy garlands. And like it wasn't glorious enough, at the bottom of the tree, presents for all, even for the not so nice ones.
As Ekko was helping Jinx with the searching, he just randomly came across a strangely looking box. It was quite old by the looks of it. "Ayo what's this?" He asked his girlfriend.
"OwO what's dis" Jinx repeated (kinda)
"Ew no uwus no owos in this house" Ekko cringed.
She abandoned the area she was searching the lights in and tippy toed to Ekko. "Alright, aight, what did you find?" She asked, going back on the subject.
Ekko pointed to the old box he found strange. "This one."
The box in question was also really colorfully scribbled with - Ekko was guessing - oil crayons and puffy stickers. The stickers a kid would consider premium quality. "Oh shit this brings a hell lotta memories!" She exclaimed, remembering this box as a part of her childhood.
"This thing must have some preeeetty cool stuff." Jinx continued as she kneeled down, opening the dusty box, like a pirate opening up a treasure chest after a long, treacherous adventure.
Her charm and enthusiasm was enough to make Ekko kneel besides her, curious of the box's contents as well.
Jinx opened the flaps of the box, looking at the doodles she drew on them. The little chicks were so cute! But enough of admiring doodles. They were curious about what was inside. And you may be too, right?
On topof everything else inside the box, was one pretty hard to forget thing. Did past Jinx place it this way? Or was it just random?
It was nothing other than Powder's paintball gun she crafted herself with Ekko, when they were little.
Now, that's some emotional value right there!
"Oh, wow.." They both wowed at the same time, as she took the toy gun in her hand, admiring all of its details. It was dusty, and in bad shape, but nothing they couldn't repair.
Jinx handed it to Ekko, she had another one to look for in the box. If she wasn't wrong on this, another thing close to this gun should be in here.
She really did hope it was here, rapidly sifting through every paper, toy and little thing in the box.
...
And IT WAS!!
The chestplate Ekko would wear when they played theit favourite game in the whole world.
Ekko gazed at it carefully. "Is that what I think it is?" He asked, eyes widening in surprise.
"Its sure seems like it."
He carefully placed the gun on the floor, taking his now dusty shield made out of scraps. Bright pink splashes of paint still rested on its surface, bringing out a nostalgic feeling of how he used to lose a lot of those games.
"We should really play again sometimes!" Jinx exclaims, a wholesome smile appearing on her face.
"Fr fr" he agreed.
"YAAAALL DID YOU FIND THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS?" Vi randomly interrupted their nostalgic moment. At this, Jinx and Ekko quickly and in a panicked manner got up and frantically looked around for the lights. "YEA WE SURE DID" Jinx responded, to not worry her older sister. "ᵈⁱᵖˢʰⁱᵗ ˢᵉᵃʳᶜʰ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᶠᵃˢᵗᵉʳ" he half-whispered to her while aggressively sifted through boxes and whatever else you commonly find in basements. You know, like corpses.
"OKAY HERE THEY ARE" Jinx find it finally, an arguably large box, which was written on 'Lights' with really bad handwriting and a black permanent marker.
Ekko picked it up for her and they both left the dark room.
But they left the toy box in the exact middle of the basement, it was wide open too. And the gun and the chestplate was on the floor, right in front of the box. Will they ever come back for it?
~ Timeskip brought to you by Vi having a meltdown because nobody actually knows how to put up or set up the lights ~
After almost successfully setting up the lights, everyone collectively agreed on wanting hot chocolate and cookies while watching a good Christmas movie.
(Author's note: watch Klaus on netflix its the BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE I EVER SAW AAAAA)
"I must excuse myself, I'll be back shortly." Silco randomly excused himself in the middle of the movie.
"Aight but be back fast, I'm smelling a plot twist." Jinx announced, making him chuckle at his daughter's line.
He went downstairs, assuring himself he wasn't heard by anyone. I mean, everyone was very focused on the movie already, so there were slim chances he was heard, let alone actually listened to.
But he liked making sure of things. Plus, this was important business. He couldn't risk it like the last bitch in the world.
He had to call Sevika, first of all.
He took his phone from his pocket and typed in Sevika's number.
And he's now waiting for his trusty assistant to pick up the call. The very important call. 🤡
"Greetings, Sevika."
"Hello, Silco, merry Christmas."
"Why, merry Christmas to you too. But I have a tiny job for you."
"Which would be?"
".... You're gonna need to cosplay Santa."
And Sevika takes a break of silence. She must've misheard. And you must've misread.
"... What?" She asked out of pure confusion.
"You're gonna need to cosplay Santa Claus."
"Can I ask why?"
"Sure."
"Why?"
"It's for my daughter."
And that's when Sevika connected all the dots.
"Oh well. I'll go buy a costume then."
"Don't forget the beard." He chuckled, satisfied.
"Alright, bye." Sevika rolled her eyes, kind of amused.
BUT SHE WAS STILL GONNA BE HUMILIATED.
Silco put his phone back in his pocket. Sure, he knows Sevika and Jinx aren't exactly best friendos and they'd probably kill each other if you put them in a room for a few minutes.
But i mean she might be the best for this job. Who wouldn't like Santa Sevika?
Jinx.
But it would bE ALRIGHT AS LONG AS SHE DIDN'T FIND OUT.
M a y b e.
Another thing he had to do now. Actually get to know what Jinx wishes for this Christmas.
... In other words, steal her Christmas wish list and buy everything.
Theeen, all he had to do was get a red armchair, place 'Santa' on it and then tell his daughter she can go visit Santa.
Yay :D
But anyway, how is he gonna put his hands on that wish list?
He put his hand on his chin, thinking deeply.
...
**intense thinking and brainstorming ensue**
'Oh yea I got it' Silco mentally exclaimed, putting a medal on himself, mentally.
He took his phone back, looking for Caitlyn's number. Why Caitlyn? Cuz she was the only one with at least 6 brain cells more than everybody else.
In Silco's point of view, Vi was a doofus who was obsessed with punching, Ekko was well... Under Jinx's influence and Jinx was Jinx which should be self explanatory. And then there's Caitlyn. Silco has no idea how she of all people ended up with these kids. She was somewhat of a misfit, he supposes.
"Hello?" Caitlyn picked up the phone, confused. And kind of late.
The fact it was late was perfect. It meant she wasn't in room with the others.
"Am I on speaker?" Silco asked, making sure.
"No, sir."
"Are you in the same room as the others?"
"No, I'm in the kitchen. They sent me here to pick up snacks."
"That must suck."
"What?"
"What?"
...
"Anyway, I suppose I need your help." Silco went to the point.
"Why?"
"Well uh... You're close to Jinx, right? Can you get her Christmas wish list? Or vaguely ask her where she keeps it?"
"Uhh..."
"What does that uhh mean?"
"Your daughter bloody hates me, sir."
"Why is that?"
"She claims I stole her sister away from her but her sister is actually just gay for me."
"Well, can you get that wishlist?"
"Depends... What do I earn?"
Bold move, Kiramman.
"I'll pay you in Christmas presents. If you can pass me your wishlist as well."
"Consider it done, sir."
"Oh, actually you know what? Fuck it, get me everyone's wish list, I'm becoming Santa this year." And he hung up.
So it is as they say it seems, Christmas time does make you a better person.
Silco didn't have what to spend his money on, anyway. He might as well just burn some cash.
~
"I brought snaaaacks~" Caitlyn came in to the room, holding 3 bowls of different kinds of snacks.
"YAY SNACKSIES" Jinx and Ekko rejoiced at the same time.
Vi simply threw a glance at the bowls and went "No can do, I'm on a diet... Right now actually."
So Caitlyn did what she could best. Gave the two skrunkly scrimblos their bowls and then went to Vi, with the last one. She carefully, - seductively - fluttered the bowl of fresh snacks in front of Vi.
"You know what, dieting can wait." Vi changed her mind completely, grabbing a whole fistfull of snacks.
"Now that's more like it." Caitlyn smiled, leaving the bowl on Vi's lap.
Now onto business. "Jinx, can I talk with you a second?" Caitlyn approached the child.
"Is it about my report card? I told you, I don't have a report card anymore, I'm in college." Jinx smirked, in a manner slightly enfuriating Caitlyn.
"No, don't worry. Come with me a second, please." She kept her calm attitude, no matter how this little bitch tried to interrupt it.
So they both left, leaving the other two confused and curious. But eh, THEY HAD SNACKS. AND A GAME.
"Am i getting grounded?" Jinx asked as they entered the hallway. This meant she did something, didn't she?
...
Yes.
But we're not here to find out who's house burned down yesterday.
"No. I'm here to ask you about your Christmas wish list."
"My wish list?" She raised an eyebrow, confused. Caitlyn is always there to tell her how to behave not... Whatever this was.
KIND CAITLYN IS WEIRD 😭😭😭
"Yes, your wish list."
"My wish list?"
"Yes, yo-" and Jinx easily pulled out her wish list out of her sleeve.
"This?" She smirked.
"What do you need it for?"
Shit. It was at this moment Caitlyn knew. She was gonna need to lie a bit. She couldn't just go 'OHHHA YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD WANTS TO IMPERSONATE SANTA THIS YEAR AND WANTS TO SURPRISE YOU HAHA WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT, HAHA AND I'M HIS ELF HAHAHAAHA IK RIGHT????"
How bout she went just
"I'm just curious, that's it."
But Jinx wasn't dumb. She may be a dork, but not dumb.
"Curious? You sure?" Jinx asked again.
At this point, Caitlyn was sweating. CURSE YOU, JINX (who's name is literally 'curse' or 'bad omen' but who's counting 🤓🤓🤓)!!!
"Yea. We can trade wish lists if you wanna."
FINALLY, A GOOD LIE!!! BRAVO, CAITLYN!
WAY TO GO!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOO-
"Sure! Where's your list?" Jinx asked, unexpected of her to actually stop being suspicious and just accept.
"... I have it written on my grocery list app, so I guess you can have my phone."
"Aight"
NOOO CAITLYN, NOOOO!!!
OF ALL PEOPLE TO GIVE YOUR PHONE TO, YOU GIVE IT TO JINX?????
AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA USE TO PHOTOGRAPH THE WISH LIST NOW, DUMBASS?
Realisation quickly hit Caitlyn like a truck.
... What was she gonna do?
At least Jinx was preoccupied with searching Caitlyn's phone now. So she isn't a problem. Temporarily. She hopes.
Caitlyn glanced a second over Jinx's wish list, not quite getting to read anything on it.
Oh wait!
Wait just a second!
Caitlyn was rich!
SHE HAD ANOTHER PHONE ON HER SECOND PHONE WHICH WAS IN HER POCKET??!!!
WELL WOW, WHAT A FORTUNATE TURN OF EVENTS.
Caitlyn frequently forgets she has another phone haha don't mind her she is just a little misfit after all.
Quickly, she took her second phone and photographed the wish list, as clear as she could. Well at least the photo was clear. Well that's going smoothly 👍
She then put back the phone as quickly as she took it out from her pocket and continued to read the wish list, quite interested about it.
'A real life unicorn... Well of course, that's Jinx.' She mentally read the first lines.
'A life long supply of bullets for my minigun, Pow-Pow.... Oh that?? After a unicorn? Well that escalated quickly'
The rest of the wish list was... Weird, to say the least. I mean, who tells Santa they wish for a spiky, pink leather suit for *questionably adultish* stuff???
*Jinx raises hand slowly*
The last thing on her wish list was actually quite unexpected from a person like her. Quite weird, quite weird.
'I wish for everyone dear to me to live a long, fulfilling life and be happy and healthy not like me. Well maybe not Caitlyn but idk maybe she breaks up with Vi also did i mention i want Vi and Caitlyn breakup to be canon?'
There you have it folks, the top 10 'antagonists who have a heart' on watchmojo CONTINUES, WITH JINX ON NUMBER 2, BEING OUTHEARTED BY.... her own father? Nice competition, I suppose.
"You have an interestingly nice wish list, Jinx." She complimented the younger, skrunklier girl.
"Why thank you,,, you have a nice one too." Said Jinx, completely fazed by the compliment. There's a long way between correcting her behaviour and complimenting her, you know?
If Caitlyn would compliment me, I'd probably have my jaw drop as well. I HAVE NOTHING CAITLYN COULD COMPLIMENT Y'KNOW? I'M SPENDING MY TIME WRITING JACK SHIT WITH ARCANE CHARACTERS AND CHRISTMAS THEMES.
I wrote ten pages of this (currently writing on samsung notes but ya kno) only while being in the waiting room in a clinic because I apparently am sick because i tried karaoking all i want for Christmas is you but live earrape, don't ask.
Life is good.
Life is great.
Especially for Caitlyn.
Being Silco Santa's elf assistant must ultimately suck.
They gave their wish lists back, both smiling wholesomely.
"Wanna go back in the room?" Jinx asked, still smiling.
It's awesome how much someone can let their guard down with a simple damn compliment. You wouldn't expect it from Jinx but here we are.
"Sure" Caitlyn mumbled, nodding.
AND BACK IN THE ROOM THEY WENT.
"Y'ALL MISSED THE GOOD CUTSCENE." Ekko and Vi said at the same time. Did they rehearse that or something? It seemed like it.
"WHAT CUTSCENE" Jinx asked, alarmed. Shit noooo she missed her potentially favourite cutscene from that entire game :(((
Yes they were playing Genshin.
Yes Jinx is a Klee main, I will NOT take any criticism on that, be it constructive or not.
Vi mains Lisa and is insanely stronk.
Caitlyn mains Jean. She has her summertime skin too. Way to show off that whale status, Cait.
And Ekko... Idk about him he looks like a Kaeya main. Or Diluc. Idk. Mono geo team comps?
"THE BAAL CUTSCENE IN THE INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST" Vi answered, deleting Jinx's confusion.
"Oh okay I don't mind that." She answers nonchalantly, like she didn't just scream her lungs out asking what the fuck cutscene she missed.
You see, Jinx knows how to appreciate fine art such as cutscenes.
Be like Jinx.
Support indie companies, like Rito.
🥺
"GÜYS" Caitlyn began, interrupting whatever discussions the others would have had.
"WHÆT" Jinx was the only one who answered (but Caitlyn was actually referring to everyone BESIDES her)
Caitlyn took a deep, short breath and went "I WANT YOUR CHRISTMAS LISTS AND I WANT THEM NOW"
And if nobody was really looking towards her before, focused on whatever they were doing, they sure were watching Caitlyn now.
Vi was the only one to turn her gaze away from Caitlyn back to her game. "Slow down there cowgirl, that's a little out of character for you." Vi pointed out, earning a subtle 'merry fuck you' look from Caitlyn she only saw with like one corner of an eye.
"Fine, let me just send you the list.." The red head said as she took out her phone from the large pocket of her ripped jeans.
And in 20 to 25 seconds, Caitlyn received a photo from Vi.
Well, ig she made pics of her list 🧍♀️💃
Who even does that?
Vi. Miss-six-in-roman-numerals does.
(Do u ever sit and think you could say Vi three times and invoke satan in Roman Numerals by actually saying 666??)
Caitlyn checked her phone, seeing her girlfriend's wish list. "Thanks. Also, Ekko?"
"what"
"Wish list."
"It's under the mini Christmas tree in Jinx's room."
"JINX HAS A ROOM?"
"yes, the basement."
**Caitlyn looks at Ekko questingly**
"Just kidding. But for real now, how didn't you know? She literally painted her name on the door. AND THE PAINT'S FLUORESCENT"
"Wow that's a good way to make me look like a fucking idiot." Caitlyn mumbled while leaving the room to go in the Adventure Quest: Ekko's Letter™.
....
"But who brings us snacks now 🥺" Jinx whispered loudly after Caitlyn closed the door. "Ay don't be an asshole." Vi returned, whispering louder and scarily.
~Timeskip of at least 30 minutes because all Caitlyn, our dear Protagonist did was look for Jinx's room. Then she realised a SECOND FLOOR EXISTS. and went there. And got the letter. Nothing much really happened.~
"Finally, after all these years."
"I have them all." Caitlyn proudly whispered to herself as she typed in Silco's number.
-que calling noises.
"Hello?" Caitlyn started, holding the phone near her ear.
"Yes, hello, Caitlyn. Do you have the lists yet?"
"Yes, I'm going to send them to you after this call ends."
"You talk funny. Anyway, good job getting those." Silco ended.
👍
Then finally, Caitlyn sent the four pics of all the wish lists, pointing out which list belongs to who, of course.
AND WITHOUT ANY DOUBT OR DOUBLE THOUGHT, SILCO GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS.
He was santa-ing.
First things first, he had to carefully read every list and think of where he could buy them.
And of course he starts with his daughter's list.
(He was quite shocked at the sexy pink linjerie part but i mean its jinx so what the hell)
And could he even afford the life long supply of bullets? What even was a life long supply of bullets to Jinx, over a million?
Though, he only preoccupied himself with personally ordering Jinx's gifts. He had 💗not henchmen, but santa's elfs now💗, for a reason, duhh, to order the others' gifts. 🙄🤚
But because he's super rich and stuff, people all over Zaun and Piltover knew his name. Bet Amazaun workers shit their pants a little when they saw Silco's name in orders.
(I do not know how amazon workers work so bare with me here)
So of course, let's pretend he had the option to get super fast delivery just because he had the money 🥰
It's a fanfic and I'm the author ffs anything can happen while I'm in charge here 💃
And by fast delivery I mean he got everything he ordered by 24 december. He ordered it on 23.
And by everything he ordered i mean Sevika's Santa costume as well. And oh my, it looked gorgeous. The material was high quality and silky (pun indended), and the fur was so soft and white.
Just perfect :)
~Violent timeskip to 25 december, 1:34 AM ~
Here was Silco's plan: (1) get Sevika a big bag for all the nicely packed and tied present boxes; (2) she must sneak in Silco's home - because he invited the kiddos over for a Christmas sleepover/party/get together, so they were all there during Christmas Eve - very, VERY obviously and loud after midnight, ofc in her Santa costume; (3) Everyone wakes up and checks the Christmas tree, if they don't wake up, Jinx's will wake them so no worries here; (4) SANTA SEVIKA HANDS OUT GIFTS AND EVERYBODY HAS A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Sevika was outside, recapping the plan in her had as she put on the hat, the beard and the fake glasses on. It wasn't that hard but one small step wrong and the others would realize it wasn't Santa actually.
I mean, everybody would realize, but the point was Jinx not realizing.
Silco had left an open window from the kitchen for Sevika. He would've properly welcomed her by opening the front door but the others would probably wake up or be suspicious.
So Sevika had to use the window. G r e a t
As if this wasn't already awkward for her, she was forced to enter thru a window.
Which was great, because someone will probably see her and record her and probably post her online and she'll become a meme or something.
As soon as she got inside the kitchen, she closed the window, saving whoever came to the kitchen in the middle of the night from a cold room while having dinner.
And then she was on her way to the living room, where the Christmas tree was sitting nicely, waiting to be decorated with various colorful boxes full of gifts for everyone.
Up until now, Sevika sneaked in so quietly not even satan would know she's inside Silco's home.
Jinx even left cookies and milk for her :D
And by the looks of it the cookies were handmade by her. How could Sevika tell? Excess of sprinkles, heavily coloured dough and burnt sides.
But she took a bite or two nonetheless, and they were actually kind of tasty :)
She was supposed to be loud, loud enough to wake everyone up. Which she hasn't really been up until now, but that's changing. Sevika, just a little confused on what the fuck could she do to be loud took the bag over her shoulder and threw it in a wall, hitting a small side of the Christmas tree as well, the ornaments hitting one another. I guess you can imagine the ear-stratching sound of those.
Few red ornaments even fell out of the tree, on the ground, causing even more commotion.
'Shit.' Sevika whispered to herself. If only did she realize how lucky she was that those didn't break. Considering they were in Silco's Christmas tree, they were pretty expensive.
Sevika blinked exactly twice, mentally arguing with herself whether or not to put the red ornaments back up in the Christmas tree.
'Naaah, it's supposed to be messy anyway. Plus, it's below your pay grade.' Sevika's brain cell spoke.
'Yes, but he's your boss!' Sevika's other brain cell named Marie spoke.
'Yes, but does he supply our monthly cigars? NO!'
Sevika shook her head in a (fortunately) successful attempt to silence her noisy brain cells.
She wasn't gonna put them back up.
She picked up the bag full of gifts and put it over her shoulder. "Oh, nOO! I suppOSE I MUST LEAVE THE prESENTS HEre anD LEAVE, befORE THESE niCE CHIldreN fIND out I eXIST!" Sevika twirled around, exclaiming as loudly as she could, wanting to get heard by the kids and get this circus done with as fast as possible.
She looked, left and right, left and right, no one here. Specifically no sleepy Jinxes looking for Santa around.
So, the next logical thing to do was taking one gift boxes out of her oversized, red bag and straight up dropping them on the ground.
One gift down and dropped on the ground. First one was nicely covered in cutesy, pink and blue striped gift wrap. It was fairly big and heavy.
Sevika couldn't help but question what was inside. Why would it be so heavy?
She shook it then, thinking maybe she'll get a few more hints as to what was inside. And it certainly had some sort of a clink-y noise, like small metal pieces, clinking in a small space.
'No way in HELL.'
Yes, it was a box filled to the brim with brand new bullets.
Sevika sighed, not being paid enough for all this shit. "One day, I'll be the one to rat out Silco to the CPS..." she whispered to herself, putting the box once again on the ground, under the tree.
"Santa man?" an all too familiar raspy voice came out from the dark, after a series of almost fully silent steps coming from upstairs.
'This bITCH' One braincell of Sevika vibrated out of angery energy.
Sevika sighed, then cleared her throat, hoping her voice won't be TOO recognizable.
"Yes, Child? It looks like you caught Santa this year! Ho-Ho-Hoo..."
Well at least she tried to sound as confident as she could but it all faded when it came to the ho ho hos.
SATAN MADE HER SPEW HO HO HOS OUT.
HO HO HO? MORE LIKE HOE HOE HOE 👹
Jinx looked perplexed at the tall, muscular figure dressed in red before her, processing everything. She knew some people faked being Santa for the little kiddies, and she knew the costumes they wore were noticeably cheap.
Bit this one wasn't, it looked so authentic. Santa only looked a little younger this year, that's all.
And maybe not that chubby... Did Santa hit the gym lately?
Maybe, Jinx isn't one to judge. And she'll not. That's admirable. Way to go Santa, you have now earned your place in one of those motivational 'I was over 300 pounds. Now I'm shredded' videos!!
Jinx blinked twice in confusion.
💗and then magically the confusion dissapeared. 💗
"EKKOOOO GET YO ASS HERE"
-words spoken, followed by cartoonish sounds of boxes falling, cats yowling and legs tripping.
--followed by Ekko getting his ass there.
"HE EXISTS" Ekko realized.
Jk, he was just sleepy. Upon blinking a few times to clear up his cloudy vision, he could actually kinda see it wasn't actually Santa. He could see a little patch of uncovered dark skin on her neck, giving it all away.
To hell with it tho, he wasn't someone to ruin Jinx's belief in Santa.
"Yes, child, I exist." Santa Sevika tried to not roll her eyes, failing.
Ekko knew Sevika, and how much she could pretty much step on everyone here (not Vi tho) so he just.
Quietly
Backed out
Walking a little away
Just in case
He doesn't wanna be killed yet ok?
"SEVI-" Vi tried talking, earning a slap on the mouth from her 💃lover💃.
"BITCH, SHUSH"
Two lesbians argued upon entering the room. They were pretty startled and annoyed at the screams from the other two. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
Caitlyn's mouth came closer to Vi's ear; "Mention Sevika once and I'll force you to drink tea for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a year." She whispered hotly. Vi nodded, not seeing anything else she could do.
"VI, VI, LOOK IT'S SANTA." Jinx turned to her sister, excited, smiling just like a kindergartner.
"yes dᵉᵃʳ, ⁱᵗˢ ˢᵃⁿᵗᵃ." She approved, struggling not to assault this bitch.
But Caitlyn felt cute, might troll Vi tonight.
"Yes, dear, my love, honeyboo, why don't you go sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you wish f-" she asked, smirking.
"EWWWWW NOOOO EWWWWWWWWWW CAITLYN WTF" Vi mentally gagged, feeling her nails digging into her skin, that's how tight her fists were.
And then awkward pause where they just stare at each other.
"WELL IF YA AIN'T GONNA DO IT, I'LL DO IT" Jinx exclaimed, throwing herself in 'SaNtA's' arms, making her drop her bag on the floor and catch the girl.
"Couldn't you let me sit down first?" Sevika totally forgot her role and the fact she should've deepen her voice a bit.
Jinx raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "You want a... Cough drop or something? Glass of water?"
"HO HO HO, NO, I'M FINE, CHILD." She cleared her throat, walking over to the armchair in the room. "Now, could you tell me what you wish for this year?"
"BULLETS"
Santa sighed, already tired.
"Caitlyn, would you be so kind to pass Santa the pink and blue striped gift box?" Santa turned to Caitlyn.
She nodded, picking up the box and throwing it volleyball style to Santa, hitting her head.
"FUCKING BI-"
"ruin this Christmas for my sister and you're eating frog legs." Vi crept up behind Sevika, whispering to her ear.
GOT IT. NO PROFANITY.
Sevika furrowed her eyebrows, mentally throwing away any swear words she could think of.
"Anyways, child, here's your present!" She handed Jinx the bullet filled box.
"YIPEEEEE :D"
Jinx rejoiced as she shook the box, satisfied by the sound of brand new bullets clinking, waiting to be used.
"But did you get my other wish?"
"What other wish?"
Jinx threw Santa a perplexed look, then whispered to his ear "Caitlyn and Vi breakup?"
Santa gasped, not exactly knowing what to even do.
"Ho ho ho... Um.. No, not exactly, that's not how it works, child." Sevika brushed her fingers through the false, high quality beard, knowing Jinx she'll probably throw a fit.
"That's quite sad :(" Jinx frowned, crossing her arms.
"Yes, but there's no reason to be sad, you have tons of presents left!" She tried to cheer up the child, gesturing Caitlyn to bring her red bag of gifts to her, the blue haired woman doing so in a second.
Sevika grabbed at the bag full of presents, searching a pink and blue one. She figured out along the way that the gifts for Jinx were all covered in pink and blue wrapping paper. "Like this one right here, child." She picked one fairly big and heavy. Sevika almost saw it move. Well maybe she was just going insane, who knew?
Just a bit frowning, Jinx torn apart the wrapping paper around the gift, growing more curious every second, until she finally catches a glimpse of what was inside what seemed to her to be 30 layers of paper.
"No way..." She whispered in surprise, continuing to tear paper apart.
Jinx could hold the little thing in one hand. "A LIVE UNICORN!" She exclaimed loudly, holding the baby unicorn like a little child.
"THOSE EXIST?" Caitlyn asks, perplexed. Like???
As soon as she finished talking, Caitlyn felt a cold, bony hand land gently on her shoulder from behind. "Of course they don't, this is the only specimen, created in lab just yesterday." Silco whispered so only Caitlyn could hear.
"SHIT" Caitlyn turned back. "WHERE DID YOU SPAWN FROM, MAN?" Vi, who was just next to Caitlyn practically jumped, scared.
Yeah, when did he spawn here 🧍♀️
And who tf creates unicorns in a lab.
I mean imagine him going to Singed and being like 'hey bro can u create an unicorn for my daughter?'
💃
Best dad right there bros and ho ho hoes.
While Jinx was looking dearly at her new pet unicorn, Sevika had time to get her other gifts and just hand her them. I mean, it was kinda getting long and old, and this fic as well, is getting too long. Might just lose your interest, yk?
"Here you go, child. The rest of your gifts." Sevika handed her the last 3 presents. They were actually smaller and lighter. Maybe just trinkets, she thought.
"Yay :D thank you Santa" Jinx smiled widely, hugging sAnTa.
And Sevika snapped.
But what the hell did you expect? She didn't drink any coffee today, she had to wear a crappy expensive santa costume and had to play nice with some kids.
I would personally hate it tbh 👍
Sevika got up, dropping Jinx from her lap to the floor, took her bag and threw it on Ekko, absolutely demolishing the skrunkly little dude like an absolute girlboss.
Slay 👹💃
No ew why did i write that.
WHAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN CANNOT BE UNWRITTEN.
"OW, Why'd you do thAt?" Jinx frowned, having falled down, hitting her elbow pretty hard.
"Little man, you good?" Vi turned down, little man was dead on the floor under a ton of presents.
"Call 119" Said Caitlyn, worried.
"We have shimmer doe 😃" Silco, who was still behind Caitlyn, lurking creepily in the darker side of the room recommended, randomly pulling out a comically large vial of shimmer from a pocket.
"NO" Everyone in their right mind refused. Ekko was too pure.
"YES WE CAN MATCH WITH SWAG PINK EYES"
how bout you just buy him contact lenses? How bout that?
In any way, Christmas for the fam this year ended wacky. But it was nice. Sevika and Vi eventually got to wrestle in the Walmart parking lot the next day, Vi going on the 'you ruined my sister's Christmas' route as a reason to legally beat the hell out of Sevika, while Caitlyn had a refined skin care afternoon, relaxing while trying out every face mask she got this year while marathoning Wednesday on netflix. She'd watch it for sure.
As for Ekko and Jinx? They spent a week in the hospital because of Sevika. Ekko was in a coma and Jinx refused to leave his bedside. Eventually, she found a new hobby.
Crocheting!
She crocheted a giant firelight plushie while waiting for him to wake up :D
That's the wholesome side of it anyway.
💃💃💃
And then, Silco lost a bet to Sevika and he had to wear the Santa costume for a whole day.
You can imagine how that went on your own.